A/N: Some of you folks kept sending me messages on all sorts of different platforms, here and elsewhere, asking me if I was ever going to update Chuck Versus the Dive ever again, and I was all "Oh yeeahhhh I wiiiill." All the while knowing... MUAHAHAHAHAHA! My megalomania about this story aside, it means a lot to see what a crazy reception it's getting. And that people want it so bad. Y'all making me feel like BTS out here. Hahaha I can't even take that joke seriously enough to get it out without laughing at myself. Anyway and without further ado... enjoy chapter 8!
Disclaimer: I OWN NOOOOOOTHINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
Everyone split up outside of the club, hugging, laughing…
Chuck tried his best not to be too shy or awkward as goodbyes were said, the nice-to-meet-you's and the take-care-of-our-girl's. He just laughed that last one off, until Alexei finished his chuckle with a serious look and grabbed his shoulder tight, saying through his teeth, "No. Seriously. Take care of her."
That wasn't intimidating at all. He hadn't felt his soul leave his body for a good three or four seconds with the way the older man had looked at him.
"Hey, you want to share a cab with us?" Gina asked Sarah a few minutes later as she and her girlfriend moved away from the dispersing group, hand in hand.
"Oh, um…" There was a long pause, Chuck noticed, and he was going to answer that his hotel was only five blocks down the street, but then she continued. "I'm gonna make sure this LA boy can find his way back to his hotel okay then, uh, have their valet call me a cab to go home."
Chuck was impressed by how quickly Gina was able to force Liz to suppress the saucy look on her face, and with just one quick glare.
"Sounds good, girly. Chuck, nice to meet you. Come back to the Shack sometime and dive with us again, huh?"
"Great to meet you, too."
He decided not to address that last part. He and Ellie had established a particular rule when they were teens, after being lied to and left alone by their parents. It was one of their biggest rules: Don't make promises you can't keep.
Liz sent them a drunken salute as Gina led her towards the taxi they'd called to take them home.
Chuck found Sarah's hands curling around his arm, then, and they strolled together to the crosswalk. "I have an idea," she said, then, and he couldn't help the crooked grin on his face.
"Oh, yeah? Becaaaause you should knooooow that I really liked your last idea a lot."
"What, me walking you to your hotel? Did you really forget how to get back?" she asked with a teasing smirk.
"No," he chuckled. "But I was a little afraid you'd call an Uber and go home already and it's only…" He pulled his wrist up and looked at his watch. "Oh. Shit. It's, like, after one. I didn't think it was that late."
"Yeah, Kai is taking a group out in the morning, which is gonna suuuuu-uuuuck for him."
"How early?"
"Eight."
Chuck groaned. "You don't have to go in that early, though, do you? I'm gonna feel bad not ushering you into an Uber right now if you do."
"No," she laughed. "I worked a fourteen hour shift today. I'm off tomorrow and the day after."
He punched his fist over his head. "Woo!"
She cracked up.
"Right? Thank God. I love going on dives, but after leading two really big groups, both by myself, and in one day, I'm good for a few days." She huffed and widened her eyes.
They crossed the street and he shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling almost a little bereft when she let go of his arm and instead just walked beside him. "So your, um, your idea."
"Oh! Right. Yeah, I thought maybe we could take a bit of a circuitous route and get back to your hotel by walking down by the water. It's such a nice night, y'know."
Chuck bit his bottom lip and groaned, bending his knees a little and popping back up to his full height again. "God, that's such a good idea. You have so many good ideas."
She laughed and they headed down across the boardwalk to the steps that led onto the sand. He let her use his arm as she peeled her boots and socks off and rolled her pants up to mid-calf, then he sat down and did the same.
They trudged along towards the water in companionable silence until they got to the damp, hard packed sand, and then they walked shoulder to shoulder along the line of the water in the direction of his hotel.
"So…" He cleared his throat. "If you don't mind me asking, what is with that whole game you and your coworkers play with the PDA and buying drinks?"
She smirked. "I know, it'd ridiculous."
"No, it's…" Chuck didn't know how to finish his sentence and she giggled, squeezing his arm before dropping her hand to her side again.
"No, it is. It's okay. We're all a bunch of weirdos. But it stems from back when we all went out together for the first time. It was sort of a welcome to the group outing for me, right after Alexei hired me. Zeki and Chloe had just started dating and they spent the entire night all over each other to the point where it was almost kind of stupid. Not that I'm anti-PDA or anything like that. I normally don't give a crap, but like, it got almost embarrassing. Like, imagine if all night I just sat on your lap and made out with your face, even when people were asking us questions and trying to have a conversation."
Chuck's legs stopped working and he halted suddenly, staring straight ahead, his eyebrows raised, eyes wide, mouth gaping open a bit.
Sarah caught on that he wasn't walking next to her anymore and turned on her heel to face him. "What? What's wrong? What're you doing?"
He cleared his throat and shook his head. "You told me to imagine, so I did, and I kind of…broke for a second."
She looked surprised for a moment, and then she burst into laughter, leaning forward and pressing her hands together in front of her face. As she stood up to her full height again, still chuckling a little, she shook her head at him. "You know, Chuck Bartowski, I really think you could make millions writing a How To book on being charming." He made a face. "No, I'm serious. You're firing on all cylinders there, Curls."
Chuck narrowed his eyes and let out a long, "Uuuuhhhhh…I, uh, I don't know how to respond to that."
Sarah giggled and took his hand, pulling him along with her as they got back to a comfortable stroll. "At least you're honest."
"Well, listen. Don't give me too much credit. I'm just a really terrible liar, so I learned it's just easier for everyone involved if I just lie as little as possible." He chuckled as she snorted and rolled her eyes.
"Whatever."
Chuck was about to ask about Sarah's coworkers again when something caught his eye. It was just a quick glint in the sand as the water receded past his toes. He stopped again and knelt down, digging in the sand quickly and pulling the shell up, leaning down and cleaning it off as another small wave rolled up over his feet.
He stood up and joined Sarah where she waited patiently, a small smile on her face. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed. "This is so pretty! Have you ever seen a shell like this?"
She nodded, beaming. "That's a sunrise shell. They're pretty rare actually."
"No way…" Chuck cradled the small shell in his hand and dug in his pocket for his phone, turning on the flashlight app and shining it on his find. There was a blossom of bright purplish pink at the base of the shell, a stripe of white that blended into an almost orange-yellow color, and there were hints of blue splotches along the ridges. "I get it…it looks like a sunrise."
"Exactly. Look at the inside."
He flipped it over and gasped, earning another giggle from his date. The inside was smooth and shiny, and therefore even brighter than the other side. The pink was almost neon as he shone the light over it.
"I've never seen anything like this," he said, a little breathless.
"Kauai is known for sunrise shells, even if they aren't that easy to find. Especially not in such good condition. I've found a few that were crushed by the waves before."
He curled his fingers over it and turned off the flashlight app, slipping his phone back in his pocket. "Well, here, Scuba Sarah." He thrust his hand out towards her and opened it again so she peered down at the shell. "Here's a whole one. It's for you."
Sarah raised one eyebrow and shifted her gaze to his. "For me?"
"Yeah," he said with a modest shrug. "For walking me home, keeping me safe."
"We're not even there yet. Still time for a kraken or something to come out of the sea and take you."
Chuck laughed, throwing his head back. "As I don't see that as much of a possibility, just accept the damn gift. Jesus Christ, Sarah."
"Fine," she said, raising both eyebrows and widening her eyes, plucking the shell from his palm, and then she gave him a teasing look and smiled. "Thank you. You're very sweet."
He earned a long kiss on the cheek for that. "You're welcome. It kinda goes with your outfit."
They started walking again as she snorted. "I'm wearing black."
"Okay, fine. So everything goes with your outfit. But I still attest that means the shell goes with it, too."
Her laughter made him feel like skipping.
When they could finally see Chuck's hotel towering above the beach, they began walking at an angle towards the steps that led onto the boardwalk behind it. They took their time, sitting at the bottom of the steps and bantering as they brushed off their damp, sandy feet and putting their shoes back on.
It was uncomfortable, Chuck found, still able to feel the scratching granules of sand between his toes and in his socks, his damp feet squishing a little in his shoes. But he dealt with it, and gladly, because Sarah had slipped her hand into his and hadn't taken it away yet.
"Wanna sweep through the bar and get some drinks to take up to my balcony?" he asked spur of the moment as they made their way into the back door and passed the large bar that swept around a giant fireplace in a crescent shape.
He realized belatedly that she'd just said she would walk him to his hotel and then call a cab there. But before he could backtrack, she pulled her hand from his and grabbed her clutch from her wrist. "I've got 'em."
"But—"
"Hey!" She pointed at him as she backed towards the bar. "You pulled that stunt on the dance floor and paid for an entire round of drinks for all of my friends. Which was insane, by the way. That had to be a lot of money. I can get these two drinks."
Chuck held his hands up in surrender and laughed. "Okay, okay. And it wasn't that bad. I made sure to come to your town with very deep pockets."
She'd since turned back around to walk the rest of the way to the bar, and as she pressed herself up against the counter, she gave him a bit of a sultry look over her shoulder. "Did you? Very deep, huh?"
"Yes," he said emphatically. "I'm on vacation. I'm here to relax and spend money. And if I'm watching how I'm spending my money, I'm not relaxing, am I?"
She laughed. "That's the richest thing I think I've ever heard someone say out loud."
"The richest thing or the stupidest thing? 'Cause it sounded pretty stupid as I was saying it."
She laughed again as the bartender came over. She ordered another gin and tonic, her eyes getting incredibly big as a much larger glass was put in front of her than the glass Kai Serenity had given her. It was probably the cutest thing he'd ever seen a person do. Especially when she turned to him, dropping her jaw with an almost Muppet-like grin of excitement.
She paid for their drinks and they carefully picked them up to take them into the elevator. Most of the ride up to Chuck's floor was made in companionable silence, but then Sarah spoke up, reaching out with her foot and poking Chuck's shin with the toe of her boot. "Hey, listen. You were seriously a trooper tonight. All teasing aside. I appreciate it. Not just playing along with that dumb PDA thing, but buying my friends drinks, too. Like, actually going through with that. You didn't have to. Nobody actually expected you to."
"Nah, I know. I wanted to."
"Why?" she tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.
Chuck shrugged. "I want them to like me." She didn't seem to expect that answer, but he took the opportunity to go one more. "And I want you to like me," he finished slowly.
She raised an eyebrow. "That honesty thing. Really doubling down on it, aren't you?"
"Yes. Probably to a fault."
Sarah giggled and shook her head. "Not yet, anyway," she added. "Although I should take this opportunity to ask you if that wind down there by the water really fucked with my hair."
He grinned in amusement. "You look incredibly beautiful."
"Wow, okay. I'm impressed by how well you dodged the question and made me blush at the same time."
"Ah!" He pointed and smoldered a bit smugly. "Now who's being super honest?"
She seemed to blush even harder at that, twisting her mouth to the side. "Cheeky," she murmured. "But you still didn't answer the question about my hair."
"I said you look beautiful."
"You said incredibly beautiful."
He chuckled. "You're right. I stand corrected."
"But you didn't tell me if the wind fucked with my hair."
She reached up to smooth it down a bit. It was quite windswept, a little tangled at the bottom in places, from the collar of the blazer she wore, but…
"The wind played with it a little, but all it did was make you look ten times sexier." He paused as her blue eyes went wide as saucers. "A'right fine. Twenty times sexier."
Sarah took a deep slow breath and diverted her gaze as the elevator slid to a stop on his floor. "Thank you," she said quietly, biting her lip.
He handed her his Dark 'n Stormy so that he could get his room key out as they stood at the door to his suite a minute later. He opened the door and held it for her to enter first, smiling as she swept past him.
"Hey, set down the drinks and your, uh, purse thingy. I'll get the bath goin'," he said, not realizing there was anything wrong with what he said until he got halfway across the room. He stopped mid-step, then spun on his heel, wide-eyed. "The, um…Should probably verbalize the shit in my head at least a little bit. Context. It's important. I just figured we could clean off our feet. The sand. You know. So we can get comfortable. Be comfortable. Yeeeeah," he drawled, scratching the back of his head as the curious look fell and she laughed at him.
He just glared at her teasing, "Thoughtful of you," even as he enjoyed the particular sparkle in her eye.
She joined him in the large bathroom a minute later as he ran the tub water, checking the temperature with his hand. Chuck watched over his shoulder as she leaned down to tug her boots off, toss them to the side, and roll her pants up to just below her knees again. "Is this temperature good for you?" he asked, standing up and shifting out of the way as she walked up to the clawfoot tub and just climbed in, sitting on the edge and sticking her feet in it.
"Perfect!" she chirped, beaming with her tongue between her teeth.
"You just dove right in there, didn't you?"
"Mhm. It's what I do in most situations."
"I'm starting to figure that out about you." A slow, dreamy smile came over his face. "I like it. For the record."
"Come sit over here and join me, Curls McSandyFeet." She put her hand on the edge of the tub next to her and winked.
Chuck giggled at the nickname. "Is that my proper full name?"
"Mhm. Though technically, it's Colonel Curls McSandyFeet," she said, lifting one finger seriously.
"I'm a colonel?" He kicked off his shoes, peeled his socks off and rolled his own pants up.
"Mmmmhm."
"Well, that's news to me. When did I become a colonel?"
"When I discovered that colonel and curls sound very similar."
He laughed and climbed into the tub carefully, plopping down on the edge next to her. "Okay. But then I get to call you Sergeant Scuba Sarah."
She let out a quick bark of laughter. "No."
"What?! That's not fair!" He teasingly shoved at her foot with his so that he could rinse his own feet.
"Life ain't fair, nerd." She pushed back at his foot so he went in with both of his, capturing her foot between them and holding fast. She squeaked and giggled. "Let go!"
"Not until I get to call you Sergeant Scuba Sarah!"
"NEVER!" She swung her other foot around to try to kick at his shins, so he reached down and grabbed her ankle in both hands. As she yelped and yanked her leg back and down, Chuck jolted forward with it. His backside slipped off the edge of the tub.
"Ahh, no!" He swiveled his body around so that he didn't hit his head on the tub faucet and landed right underneath it, hard, the water gushing into his lap. "Oh, come on!"
Sarah's hands were clasped over her face, her blue eyes so wide above her fingers, shoulders pulled up under her ears.
He just sat there, his legs all scrunched up against the side of the tub, the water soaking his lower half as he stared up at her with the most unamused look he could muster. His look got much flatter when he heard her start to giggle.
She half-assed keeping the laughter at bay. And he definitely didn't believe her when she squeaked out an, "I'm so sorry!" and an, "Are you okay?"
He just kept staring until her giggles subsided for the most part. "I didn't mean for that to happen," she tried.
And still, the water came down on his lap. "Sure ya didn't," he snarked with a smirk. "I'm kind of wedged in here; mind giving me a hand?"
Sarah wordlessly reached both hands down for him to take and he did, but instead of using them to climb out of the tub, he gave her a strong yank. As she screamed and tumbled down on top of him, he reached up with one arm to pull her to the side to make sure she didn't hit her face or something on the faucet, then caught her cleanly against his chest with a grunt.
She was half screaming, half laughing as she smacked his chest, the water spilling all over her back.
"Turnabout is fair play!" he announced, laughing as she struggled against him.
Sarah finally stopped fighting him, probably aware that the spout was right above her back and not wanting a horrible bruise there. She shifted her legs to straddle him and slumped into his arms with a glare, biting her lip, probably to keep from smiling as he flashed her an innocent look.
"I didn't mean for that to happen," he teased, and she shook her head slowly.
"Not even cool."
He chuckled and reached up to turn the water off. "I think I've effectively removed the sand from my feet. What about you?" He gestured down at their bodies intertwined, their clothes sodden.
"I think so, yeeeah," she drawled, wrinkling her nose.
Chuck snorted and then reached down to take her by her waist and help her roll off of him so that she could get out of the tub first, but instead, he found Sarah's hands on either side of his face and her lips pressed against his.
He kissed her back, perfectly happy to just sit there and enjoy how good she was at this whole making out thing, but then after a minute or so she lowered her weight in his lap and his body's reaction was immediate.
Almost like it set a trigger off inside of him, his hands slid under her blazer and clutched at her waist, twisting the material of her blouse in his fists and kissing her harder.
She reacted at the same time, dragging one wet hand into his curls and pushing at his jacket with the other. She didn't stop pushing on it until it was half off of him, and he had to lean forward so that he could shrug it all the way off, leaving it in a pile between his back and the side of the tub.
Sarah whimpered as he dragged his lips from her mouth down her jaw, along her neck, and let his tongue dart out to taste her there. He let her take her own blazer off, and once she did, he took it as a go ahead sign to continue undressing her and his fingers drifted under the flowy material of her top, feeling her warm, smooth stomach as he caught her lips in another heated kiss.
When she broke the kiss, panting in a way that sounded about as desperate as he suddenly felt, she swept her blouse off with one quick movement and tossed it over her shoulder before she dove in to continue kissing him.
And then her fingers were grappling at his belt, tugging, unbuckling, and he heard a growl come from deep in his chest as she undid his pants, too, before pulling his button-up out of the waistband and starting to unbutton.
Chuck slid his hands around and then tucked his fingers inside of the waistband of her jeans, down the back, and when he squeezed, she gasped, pressing her lips to his ear. "Oh, Chuck…"
She had his shirt undone and she was taking her time feeling his chest, her hands a little cool and clammy from their accidental and impromptu semi-bath. He didn't care. It felt amazing.
He squeezed again and she whimpered, arching her back and pressing herself down against his groin.
Pulling his hands out from down the back of her jeans, he immediately set to work unbuttoning and unzipping them.
It was at the heady sound of the zipper, a deep and almost groaning sound he heard quite clearly over their gasps, that Sarah put her hands squarely over his pecks and pushed herself back, angling her torso away from his and taking a deep, unsteady breath.
"There's a bed right there in the other room," she panted, and even as she said that, she didn't seem like she could help leaning in to kiss him some more, tangling her fingers in his hair and shivering in his arms with pleasure.
He couldn't stop the smile from breaking as he kissed her back, and when they were forced to pull back for oxygen sometime later, he shook his head no and chuckled. "I think here's good," he said, shrugging out of his shirt and tossing it away too, before diving in to kiss her yet again.
Chuck gathered Sarah up in his arms and hugged her tightly, their chests pressed together, and he shifted his backside against the bottom of the tub so that he felt her weight in his lap that much more.
"We'd be much more comfortable on the b—Oh!" she gasped against his lips, rocking into his lap as he slipped a hand underneath one of the cups of her bra. He groaned at the sensation. "Okay, your hand is too cold for that…"
He squeezed again before she spoke and then blanched a little when she said that, wincing with a, "Oh. Sorry," as he tried to pull it out, but then she caught his wrist and pushed his hand back.
"I changed my mind. Keep doing it," she panted, kissing him again and tucking a hand down between them and into the front of his pants.
He groaned against her mouth and grabbed the legs of her jeans, starting to pull at them, trying to move them down her legs and out of his way as she giggled.
She giggled hard enough that she had to break the kiss and suck in deep breaths, beaming. "About the bed…" he grumbled, smirking.
"I think here's good."
Chuck let out a breathless laugh and twisted around to lay out against the bottom of the tub, taking Sarah with him, but as he tried to prop himself up on his elbow, it slipped and he crashed down hard, his back hitting it with a loud thump. "Whoa!"
Sarah cracked up even as he tugged at her pants, and they stayed there for a while longer, desperate and clumsy as they moved clothing aside only as much as to have it out of their way. The clumsiness continued as they banged their elbows against the side of the tub, bumped their heads. Their hands slipped against the smooth porcelain enamel, the sound of heady voices carrying out from the bathroom for some time. And as he lay beneath Sarah, wrapped up in her, Chuck let himself take every last bit of her in, drown in her. He lost himself in the scuba instructor once again.
}o{
"I'm just glad these robes aren't terrycloth."
Sarah looked up from her phone as he came out, still tying the front of the bathrobe shut as he stepped out of the bedroom to join her in his suite's main room.
"Hey, this is a fancy hotel," she said, tugging at the lapel of the bathrobe she donned after her own shower. "You gotta have velour for the richies."
She winced, as though realizing he had booked a suite in this hotel, and that she was talking about him as well in her generalization. "Oh. Wait. I…Well, crap."
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Don't backtrack. You're good. First time I've been called a richie, though."
She winced again. "Sorry."
"Don't be. You're not saying anything offensive."
"My tone wasn't great."
Chuck just shrugged, closing the distance and picking up the hood, tossing it over his head and scrubbing his wet hair. "I'm not offended by a single thing you just said, or by the way you said it." Then he paused, pulling the hood further over his face. "Who does this remind you of?" he asked, hanging his head.
"Um…Death?"
He cracked up and flipped the hood back off of his head. "I was going for Obi-Wan Kenobi, but sure, Death works."
She put her phone down on the coffee table and climbed up from the couch to walk around it. "Oh. Yeah. Maybe that was a little dark. But…all hoods make not monks." He frowned a bit in question. "Shakespeare. I think it's from Henry VIII. One of Shakespeare's Henries."
Chuck stopped and gaped. "Did you just quote Shakespeare at me?"
"Yeah. I did. Why?"
He pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes, tilting his head. "You're brainy, Sarah Walker."
She giggled and shook her head. "Not really. I'm just a fan of Bill Shakespeare."
"Really?"
"Mhm. I've got a ridiculous amount of Shakespeare collections; new books, old books, sort of old books." She chuckled. "It's all currently in a bunch of totes under my bed because I would need to buy a big ol' bookcase or something for them, but I'm afraid to do that with how much I'm always moving around."
Chuck stuck his hands in his pockets and gave her a slow grin. "We've sort of got something in common."
Her eyes widened in excitement. "Oh my God. Are you a Shakespeare person?" she asked.
He winced. "I'd love to say yes because you're so excited about it, but I just meant that I have a lot of totes full of stuff I collect under my bed too. It's um…mostly comic books, though."
Sarah laughed, rocking forward. "Fair enough."
"Full honesty, I've never read Shakespeare outside of a literature class I had to take in college. One of the required courses."
"Ah. So you were forced."
"I was forced. Yes." He was a little embarrassed admitting it now. "And I hated it."
She smirked. "Let me guess. They assigned Romeo & Juliet."
"Yeah, actually!" He walked over to where he left his drink from earlier, picking hers up as well and bringing them back over. "Sorry, these might not be as great as they were, like, forty-five minutes ago."
"That's okay," she giggled, taking hers and sipping it. "Mmm, nope. Still good." Then she tucked her damp hair behind her ear. "Not to harp on this and seem like a big ol' geek or anything, but Romeo & Juliet only gets the attention because the doomed star-crossed lovers thing is like crack for most entertainment consumers." She shrugged. "It's really easy to adapt for the stage, movies, TV shows, et cetera."
"She's thirteen years old. Thirteen!"
Sarah wrinkled her nose. "I mean, yeah. Gross."
"I made such bad decisions when I was thirteen. Especially about girls."
"Well, Romeo is nineteen."
Chuck hummed, narrowing his eyes. "Still made really bad decisions about girls when I was nineteen. Worse, even, because I'd fully grown out of the whole Girls Have Cooties stage by then. Thirteen was still, like, on the tail end of that." He sipped his drink and found himself smiling at her as she laughed. He took a moment to admire her, take all of her in.
The bathrobe she'd put on after her shower went to her knees and it draped over her tall form so perfectly, the sleeves a little long for her arms, just covering her knuckles, her damp hair loose around her shoulders. The hood on her robe was a little twisted, some of her hair caught up in it, and he had this intense urge to reach over and fix it for her.
It was way too intimate for less than a week of knowing her. He knew that.
"Bad decisions about girls, huh?"
He didn't mean to look so startled at her question, and she laughed at him for it.
"I mean, nothing too terrible. But well, you know, first year of college…"
"Were you an experimenter, Chuck?"
"No." He felt like he might've sounded too defensive with his answer, and she was laughing at him again, so he tried to play it off with a soft, "Pfft." Then he continued. "I wasn't, like—I mean, there was no—I didn't…experiment. Really. I…" She was still laughing, though to her credit, he could see she was biting her cheek to try to keep it at bay, and he appreciated that. He just shook his head and chuckled, feeling the blush on his face. "Fine. Here's the honest to God truth. I've typically been a terrible judge of character when it's come to women. And I've picked the wrong girls, the wrong women…I dunno, nine times out of ten." Then he winced. "More like six times out of seven." He huffed and rolled his eyes as she continued staring at him. "Fine, four times out of five! God, Sarah!"
She cracked up and held her free hand up by her head defensively. "I didn't even say anything!"
Chuck let out a self-deprecating chuckle and shrugged. "I've had four bad girlfriends, two of them Ellie threatened to murder when it was all over and done with, one of them, a really long, bad, messy…Well, anyway."
"What happened with the fifth?" she asked, smiling quietly.
He took a long drink of his Dark 'N Stormy, savoring it in spite of it going a little flat. But mostly he was procrastinating on giving Sarah an answer. Because without realizing it, he'd made her the fifth. He had only really dated four people in his twenty seven and a half years of life, one of them in high school, two of them in college, and one since college. And only one of them had gotten past the four month mark. Not that he hadn't been intimatte with other women, or gone on dates with them, but those hadn't become relationships in any sense of the word. They'd typically hightailed it after a date or two.
But the fact that he'd unconsciously deemed her as something more than just…What, exactly? What could this even be besides two people connecting during vacation, having sex, and going back to their respective lives afterwards? What do you even call something like that? Well, it was a little unsettling that he saw her on the same level as the few women he'd been in legitimate, months-long relationships with. Five days.
Five days.
Chuck checked himself big time. But now she'd asked him a question and he needed to answer.
"Oh. Sh-She was nice." He shrugged, feeling so lame. The real answer to her question was that he was waiting to find out. He didn't know yet 'what happened to the fifth'…
He wanted to know so bad, though.
But he only had two and a half weeks left on this beautiful island, and at this point, the prognosis didn't look very encouraging. There were a lot of miles between Kauai and Los Angeles. Not to mention the fact that he was getting in way too deep with her—at least, emotionally—and there was no evidence whatsoever this was more than just a fling for her. God, and he wouldn't blame her in the least for taking it that way.
And he was overthinking this way too much.
"Mmhm." She smiled a little.
Maybe she could sense he didn't want to talk about that "fifth woman" anymore, and he found he liked her even more when she moved on from it. "Well, I know what that's like, making mistakes. But luckily, none of my relationships ended with poison or stabbing."
He chuckled. "So melodramatic."
"Isn't it?" she giggled. She opened her mouth to say something else, but his phone rang loudly, interrupting her. He frowned, then turned to look for it. "The table by the window," she said, pointing.
"Oh! Yeah. Thank you." He rushed over and grabbed it, looking down at the screen. "Why the hell is Morgan calling me at five in the morning, L.A. time?" he asked out loud, turning to give her a concerned look as he swiped the screen to answer. "Hey. Buddy, what's up? What's wrong? Something going on? Ellie okay? Devon?"
"Hey! D'you—What? Oh. Oh! Nah, everything's chill, Chuck. All good. Sorry. I see why you'd think that now that I'm looking at the time. Nah, I've just been playing Future Evolution all night. I'm on this mission and I haven't been able to get past these damn sentinel bastards to get to the bronze orb. My teammates freakin' suck, man! They're all newbs! One of them literally has pwn n00bs in his name, with the double zeroes and everything. Like, how you gonna advertise that and then suck ass at cover fire? It's not a hard concept. Dumb ass."
"Okay, Morgan…" He paused. "Why are you calling me at this hour? Ellie's fine?"
"Yeah, of course, dude!"
"Devon?"
"Right as rain."
"And you're okay?"
"No, man! That's what I'm tryin' to tell ya! I need this fuckin' orb, Chuck!"
Chuck shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Morgan. Are you serious right now?"
He'd called him in the middle of the night because he was struggling in a video game. Morgan had done this sort of thing before, and Chuck had honestly done the same thing back, of course, but right at this moment? While he was on vacation?
Seriously?
Sarah was giving him a curious look as she crossed to stand beside him. He took it as a supportive gesture, and it made him feel warm in all the right places. How did he even go about hiding how much he genuinely liked her? This was so, so, so difficult. If she knew how much…
"Of course I'm serious! This is life or death! If I don't get this orb, how do I finish my Fiona quest? I have to save Fiona! And I can't do it with these shittastic amateurs, man. I can't. It's too late in the night and I'm tired."
"Morgan, it's after five in the morning there. Get some sleep."
"No! I gotta get this orb! I get this orb and I'll go to sleep, but I need the bronze orb first!"
Chuck clenched his jaw, sent Sarah an eye roll, then ground out into the phone, "Well, I can't really help you right now, buddy."
"What? Come on! Why?"
"I'm…kind of busy. Really busy, actually."
"With wha—Oh. Oh, shit, really? Wait, were you in the middle of—Chuck, were you having sex? Oh my God! Dude!"
"No! Morgan, oh my God. I wouldn't be answering the phone if that were the case."
Sarah must've figured out the context, or at least enough of it, because she snorted, covering her mouth with a hand. He frowned and blushed, which seemed to tickle her all the more.
"Well, I dunno, dude. You are kind of a workaholic. I'm not entirely sure you wouldn't stop in the middle of sex to answer your phone if you thought it was BarTech."
"I hate you so much."
"Help me with the orb!"
"I'm not helping you with the orb!"
Now Sarah just looked completely confused. He gestured to the phone, opening his mouth to say something, anything, to assuage her confusion, but then he just shook his head. How could he even explain how weird Morgan was to a normal person like Sarah Walker? He couldn't. He really couldn't.
"Pleeeeeeease, Chuck! I'm dying!"
"You aren't dying. It's a stupid video game."
"Oh? Is it stupid? Because you spent, like, eight years of your life creating it, sooooo if it's really that stupid…"
"Dude, cut the shit. It's after two in the morning and I'm not helping you."
"DUUUUUUDE…!"
"No! What made you think I'd be willing to do this while I'm on vacation?"
"Uh…Don't even try that shit, Chuck. Because I saw you online taking down some Nazi bastards the other night and if I'm not mistaken, you were doing it from your nice tropical paradise."
Chuck groaned. "Look, Morgz, I can't tonight. Seriously. I really do have company."
"I don't believe you. Prove it."
"What do you mean, prove it?"
Sarah smirked and held her hand out. He looked at it with a furrowed brow, then shifted his gaze back up to her. She wiggled her fingers then and he understood, immediately shaking his head and mouthing, "No".
"Come on," she said. "Give it."
"Oh shit, I heard her. That's her, right? OR IS IT SOMEONE ELSE? CHUCK, ARE YOU SEEING MULTIPLE—"
"Morgan, simmer down. Sarah is here."
"Yes! The scuba girl!"
"Please, don't—"
"Well, lemme talk to her."
"We're not doing this again."
"Let me talk to him," Sarah said.
"Yeah! I heard that! What she said!" Morgan chimed in, in his ear.
"No!" he snapped at Morgan, and he gave Sarah a nicer 'no' right after.
"I'm gonna ask her if she can spare you for fifteen minutes so I can get this bronze orb," Morgan continued.
"Oh, well, in that case—STILL NO," he said adamantly.
"I'm going to take the phone from you," the scuba instructor informed him, arching a threatening eyebrow. And damn him, it was hot. With her other hand on her hip, in nothing but a bathrobe because her clothes that had gotten wet in the tub were being express-laundered by the hotel staff, along with his clothes.
"Try it," he whispered back, giving her a similar eyebrow raise.
"Pleeeaaaase, Chuck?" Morgan whined. "I'm sure she'd be totally cool with it."
But Chuck wasn't listening because Sarah put her drink down on the table and sprang at him, reaching for the phone. He yelped and held it back behind him, out of her reach as she made to snatch it. Her hand met air, but her chest crashed into his and he had to round her waist to keep both of them from falling.
"Give it!" she laughed.
"No!"
And then an evil look came over her face for a split second and wasn't he such a completely dysfunctional person because it was a definite turn on, and her lips slowly draped over his, her arms folding around his shoulders just as slowly.
He held out just fine, sighing into the kiss, until her tongue licked his teeth and made contact with his own tongue. And his arm holding the phone out behind him immediately went limp.
She sprang away from him, triumphantly grinning as she held the phone to her ear.
He just gaped as she chirped a friendly, "Hello?"
Shit. Shit shit shit.
"No, no… Please don't talk to him," he begged. "No, no, no…"
"Yeah, I'm Sarah." She froze, then sent Chuck a bit of an amused, mischievous look. "Is that what he says about me?"
"What?!" Chuck snapped, going white as a sheet.
Sarah laughed. "Yeah, I just said that to screw with him. You should see his face."
Chuck heard Morgan laughing on the other end of the line and he gave her the most unamused look he could muster. But damn it, he felt his lips twitching because that was legitimately funny.
She was actually pretty hilarious.
And why was she so damn perfect? What kind of deity had blessed him with this, and what had he done to deserve it?
"Wait, you want him to do what?" she asked, a line appearing between her pretty eyebrows.
"No!" Chuck snapped, sweeping his arms in front of him in an emphatic hell no gesture. "I'm not helping him with the game. I'm not doing it."
"What's a bronze orb for?" she asked. She paused. "No, no. I mean, like, I know it's part of this video game or whatever. But why do you need it in the game so bad?" She listened. "Mhm." There was a sparkle in her eye then as she looked at Chuck, draping one leg over the edge of the table and leaning on it.
God, he could see a gloriously tan, smooth, and long as all get-out leg as the velour cloth shifted open. How was she even real?
A hand shot out into his vision and the fingers attached to the hand snapped… He swung his gaze back to Sarah and she looked both amused and gratified under the faux-reprimanding in her face. "Eyes up here," she mouthed, pointing to her face.
He winced, diverting his eyes to the ceiling, and turning to look away entirely.
"A damsel in distress, huh? It's always a—Oh, Fiona's your sister? That's kind of new. In a nice way." Another long pause as she listened. "Wait, wait. This is one of Chuck's games? I mean, it's a BarTech game? He made this?"
Chuck groaned and dropped his face into his hands.
"No way! That long? It must've been, like, one of BarTech's first game thingies, then, huh?"
He peeked up at her through his fingers, then thrust his hand out towards her, palm up, hoping in vain that she'd give the phone back if he looked pitiful enough.
She gave him a You wish look.
"I'm impressed. So why you calling him about it?" Pause. "Mhm…Mhm…Well, that makes sense to me."
Morgan yelled a very validated, "THANK YOU", that Chuck could hear quite clearly as Sarah winced and pulled the phone from her ear, giggling as she brought it back again.
"Fine. You can have him for this bronze orb thing, since you say he's the only one who can help. But on one condition. I need you to tell me the truth about something. Full honesty."
Chuck heard Morgan yell, "ANYTHING, SARAH!"
Oh, shit…
Shit…
Sarah looked so mischievous. This was going to kill him. He prepared himself as best he could. He straightened his spine, winced, waiting for the ax to come down on his neck…
"Tell me, Morgan, just how into me do you think Chuck is?" She put her tongue between her teeth and grinned cheekily at Chuck.
Nope.
He'd prepared himself for it. And it did nothing to actually prepare him for it.
"Oh my God, no," he gasped. "Sarah, no, take it back."
She shook her head no.
"Take it back!"
Not only did she not take it back, she put it on speaker phone.
"—SO INTO YOU, SARAH!" Morgan exclaimed. Chuck's jaw dropped as Sarah kept her gaze on him, delicately setting his phone down on the table and crossing her arms to listen.
"S'that so?" she asked, enjoying the hell out of this.
He was dead. He was going to die. Chuck could feel his life leaving him as Morgan continued.
"God, yes!" the bearded asshole yelled. "Sarah, you have no idea. Yesterday he called me to tell me you invited him out or whatever, and I totally timed it. He gushed about you for a good twenty seven minutes. Twenty seven whole minutes, I shit you not!"
"Nope. No." Chuck tried to grab the phone, but Sarah slapped his hands away and gave him a severe look. "Please," he whispered pitifully. But she just grinned harder.
"And the way he describes you, you sound so damn pretty. Like, he said if you added Bo Derek and Kim Basinger and Jessica Lange and Grace Kelly's beauty together, it wouldn't even add up to how pretty you are."
"You're such a fucking liar! I never said that!" Chuck snapped, leaning closer to the phone.
"Fine, I added Kim… But he's made you sound really pretty, Sarah."
"I can't do this," Chuck breathed, so embarrassed he legitimately wondered if shame could kill a person. He walked to the sliding glass door that led out onto the balcony and pulled it open, listening to Morgan still and absolutely crumbling on the inside.
"So he's that into me, huh?"
"Uh….ch'yeah. So into you. He sent me five texts over the last two days about your sense of humor alone. And I totally get it. I get it now. You're hilarious. If you give me your number, I can send you screenshots. He's fallin' over himself in them."
"Oh?"
"Or, like, better yet, you can give me the phone number of one of your friends. That's fine, too."
Chuck went out onto the balcony and mimed climbing over it to jump off, laughing as he felt Sarah grab his arm while cackling at his antics. She dragged him back inside and shut the door, locking it, putting herself between him and the exit, then grabbed the phone and took it off speaker phone.
"Thank you, Morgan. That was very informative. I'll be sure to take it into consideration…" She dragged her eyes down Chuck's lithe figure and back up again, a seductive look on her face. "Future consideration."
Chuck gulped, unable to keep the slow, pleased smile from his face.
"Do you wanna talk to Chuck?"
She handed the phone back.
"Hey, Morgan. Text me the name of the Future Evolution group you're in. I'll be right there. Oh. And one last thing…"
"What's that, buddy?"
"Better enjoy this, because when I hang up, I'm calling a hitman and you only have about six hours of life left. Better call your mom and tell her you love her! Kaybye!"
"Wha—? Hey, Chuck!"
He hung up, then, setting his phone down and brushing his hands off.
"So…you think your boss' friend Simon knows the number of a good hitman?"
Sarah cracked up.
A/N: So I know very little plot actually happens in this story, but as the person who's writing it, I simply don't care. Because it makes me laugh and feel good to write this no-plot ditty and the dialogue and everything. So I'm just gonna continue no-plotting and fluffing and bantering and laughing and that's just how it's gonna be. FIND. ENJOYMENT. WHERE. YOU. CAN.
That said, hope y'all enjoyed this! (Also, terrycloth robes suuuuuuuuck.)
'Til next time!
-SC