503 Ascension

For someone who lived the incorporeal life of the intellect, for the ascended Orlan this week was a turmoil of emotions.

At Orlan's first appearance loitering outside her home, Sam thought he was a local 'nut job' as the colonel would have put it. His sudden appearance in her house brought a frisson of fear but she was sure she could take him.

Finding out he was an alien who hitchhiked through the Stargate – well that brought in the cameras. First Sam had to dismantle and hide all the equipment she used to provide her and her home with privacy. When the technicians were through wiring her house the colonel offered to stay. Was it kindness, did he think her uneasy or threatened? Was he interested in spending time with her – but the cameras! Or was he only humoring her? He did look damned fine in his civvies and gave her one of his rare nice smiles. But for him to stay here with her and all the damned cameras – too awkward. She would be more self-conscious than usual with all the cameras focused on them and the alien would definitely be a no show.

She would have liked his company, so much better that the strange alien. The colonel had been trying to get her to take time off but there was so much to do, so much to learn, to advance their understanding of the universe. He said he was afraid she'd crash and burn. Maybe he had a point.

They showed Jack the video of Carter strolling with the young handsome alien. He had seen for himself the flowers and candles on the nicely set table in her house. He knew he couldn't show any reaction so he hid well the feelings of betrayal. Jack knew Sam, the woman, didn't owe him love but as her superior officer she did owe him loyalty. She should have told him of the return of the Alien.

O'Neill knew Simmons was attempting to manipulate him as well as pressure Hammond. He did what he could to protect Carter, giving her the cover of a supposed order to gather intel.

O'Neill tried it too with that slimy Simmons but Simmons wasn't buying it.

With all the cameras Sam felt uncomfortable in her own home. With Simmons around she felt uncomfortable on the base. With the colonel seeming distrust she felt untethered.

Her house had been surrounded by airmen. Sam felt so betrayed, especially by him. How could the colonel do that to her? Couldn't he have tried harder? Couldn't he convince them of his trust in her?

Was her befriending Orlan a betrayal of her oath as an officer?

Was her going through the Stargate after Orlon betraying that trust? Her purpose was to save the airmen on Orlan's planet from the wrath of the Ascended.

Orlan claimed to know her down to her soul. After all these years shouldn't the colonel know her that way by now? Did he sell her out to Simmons? He failed her, failed to have her back. She had trusted him.

Didn't they know she would never betray the SGC, never betray Earth, never betray O'Neill? Didn't he know that?