DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS/PLOTS. I ONLY OWN MY OC'S.

"A great sorrow and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don't get to choose our own hearts. We can't make ourselves want what's good for us or what's good for the other people. We don't get to choose the people we are."

Goldfinch written by Donna Tartt

A New Experience

July

One month after Izuna's death

When Izumi woke up, the first thing she felt was pain, pain in her heart and in her mind. Life was so dull; there was no enjoyment in it anymore. Everything was black and white, the food was dull and jokes didn't make a lasting impression like before. Izumi wanted to just stay in her bed and not wake up, stay in the false images of her dreams where her whole family was alive, that there was no war that was killing children left and right.

But no, that wasn't reality and as much as she wished it to be, Izumi knew that it wasn't.

She slowly pushed the blanket off her body and stood up. Walking over to the mirror to brush her hair, she finally noticed the state she was in. A month of staying holed up in the house without seeing the sun seemed to have taken its toll on her. Her skin was pale and her hair was limp, not carrying the old shine and volume it had before while her eyes looked dead with dark bags under them.

Izumi wasn't her old self and she knew it, but she didn't have it in her heart to change. There was no point.

"Izumi?" Startled, she turned around and saw Kazuyo standing by her door, a worried look on her face.

"Oh, hey Kazuyo." She gave her a fake smile. "I'm going to the kitchen." Izumi walked down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Izumi, I need to talk to you."

"Just let me get some water." Izumi pulled out a glass and placed it under the faucet, the water running. She turned around, her cup full. "What do you need to talk about?"

"M-Maybe you should sit." Kazuyo suggested. Looking at her friend, Izumi finally realized how much Izuna's death had affected Kazuyo too, her skin was pale and she had dark bags under her eyes, just like Izumi's.

"It's fine." She took a sip of water. "What do you need to talk about?" Izumi saw Kazuyo take a deep breath and when her friend opened her eyes, under the grief and anger in her stare, there was…joy.

"…I'm with a child." Izumi's eyes widened and her grip on the glass faltered, causing it to fall to the ground and shatter which spilled the water in it. Maybe she should have sat down like Kazuyo had suggested, but it was too late now. She stayed silent as she stepped over the mess and walked to Kazuyo, who was currently looking like she was trying to contain her tears.

"Is it…?" She asked, but Izumi already knew the answer.

"It's Izuna's." Hearing her brother's name caused a mix of emotions to rush through her. Usually, it would be anger or pain but this time, one emotion pushed all those negative ones to the side. It was happiness.

"I have a gift for you but you won't be getting it until later."

This was the gift Izuna was talking about, the one before he died. "D-Did he know?"

Kazuyo nodded her head and she could feel tears falling from her eyes. Izumi carefully placed her hand against Kazuyo's stomach. Despite not feeling a rise in her stomach -it was too early in the pregnancy- Izumi felt one single emotion top every other one she was feeling at that moment. This emotion helped put a smile to her face, the first real one since Izuna's passing.

Determination.

December

Six months after Izuna's death

"Is this where you want it?" Izumi asked Kazuyo.

"Yeah, I like where it is." She placed the crib down and wiped the sweat from her forehead away. "Thanks for everything you're doing Izumi, its great help." Kazuyo thanked her.

"Stop, you're the one helping me out by letting me live with you." She said with a smile.

"Well, it won't be just us soon. In about a month or two we'll be having a new member in this house." Her friend said as she rubbed her swollen stomach.

Kazuyo was about eight months pregnant and due in about another. Izumi was worried about her living on her own with a newborn baby, so she suggested that she move in with her.

Besides, that's exactly what she needed, to move out of her old house. Izumi and Madara could barely stay in the same room without there being some sort of yelling, whatever relationship they had before Izuna's death had disappeared. Izumi couldn't forgive Madara for not agreeing to the peace treaty -it would have saved Izuna's life- while Madara couldn't forgive the Senju for they did to their family.

"Well, I need to go get some things. I'll be back." Kazuyo waved goodbye and left the room. Izumi heard the door close, leaving her alone in the house.

These past six months without Izuna had been hard, but Izumi knew that with the help of Kazuyo and the soon to be born baby, she would come to accept his death.

She still has moments where she'll turn around to ask something, but realize that he was gone. Those were her bad days though; the ones where it takes extra effort to leave the house, to even leave the bed.

Sighing, Izumi put her hair up and walked to the backyard. She was still close to her old house; the one Madara lived all alone in now, so that meant that she could still reach the river but it just took a little longer than before.

But Izumi had nothing better to do so that where she decided to go.

Izumi was singing a traditional lullaby when she reached the river.

"Hello Izumi." A voice suddenly greeted her, causing to whirl around with her hand on her chest.

"Kami, you almost gave me a heart attack Tobirama." She could never sense him, no matter how hard she tried. She saw a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Sorry." Izumi narrowed her eyes, as if she knew he wasn't serious.

"How was your day?" She suddenly asked.

"It was fine."

"I'm surprised your brother lets you come here, despite knowing who you're meeting with." Izumi said as she sat down on the overhang, Tobirama following close behind.

"Hashirama does not care, he knows that I can protect myself if need be."

Izumi tilted her head. "How strong exactly are you?"

"Well, I am considered to be on the stronger side in my clan."

"You must be lucky, being strong. The whole clan must recognize that you are, right?"

Tobirama leaned back on his hands and looked up at the sky. Looking back at his younger memories, it was always about his older brother Hashirama. "Not really." Tobirama gave Izumi a dry laugh. "I was always overshadowed by Hashirama. He was the genius one no matter how hard I actually tried; he would always be one step ahead of me. In the end though, I still love him."

Izumi sighed and leaned her head against her hand. "I can relate to that. In the Uchiha clan, being a Kunoichi isn't really a job that we're "supposed" take. Most women become wives at 16, 17." Izumi closed her eyes and steeled herself for the memories that would come along with what she was going to say. "I was always the "weak one" compared to…I-Izuna and Madara. People would mock me for being a Kunoichi, my grandmother herself always told me that I was going to die, that's why she kept trying to marry me off to some random man I've never met. But despite all of that," She opened her eyes, turned around to Tobirama, and gave him a real smile. "I still love them both, even if he's gone. I fight with Madara, especially lately, but I still love him and I would do everything for him." She loved Madara and nothing would change that. Nothing.

Tobirama saw the change in her face, it looked...nostalgic now. But she must have sensed something and gave Tobirama a smile. "Enough of this, how was your day?" She asked and she actually sounded...interested. Seeing her smile made something in Tobirama's heart beat faster, but he ignored it and told her about his day, the thing he felt right now must have been something else.

It had to be.

June

One year after Izuna's death

Izumi slowly opened her eyes and she could hear Kazuyo trying to calm down little Kagami.

He was born five months ago on January 29th and weighing a little under 6 pounds. Izumi was slightly worried about Kazuyo because her mother died giving birth to her and Izuna.

Not that many people were there to see Kagami's entrance into the world; Izumi could count the amount of people on one hand. Her, Madara, Hiromi, and Etsuko.

But it was better that way, the less people who knew about Kagami was better, it was safer. Izumi didn't know until Madara told her but Izuna was not liked by many clans and although assassination attempts weren't that likely, it couldn't be out ruled.

Today was painful day though, one year after Izuna's death and she still couldn't accept it like she thought she would. It hurt to get out of bed but she knew she had too. After changing into, Izumi walked into the kitchen to see Kagami asleep and Kazuyo at the kitchen table, her face hidden in her hands while her shoulders were shaking.

"Kazuyo?" She asked. Her friend looked up and Izumi saw tears running down her face.

"O-One year Izumi. One year, and I still feel as if he would walk through this door and welcome me with open arms." Kazuyo started shaking her head. "I can't believe he's been gone for a whole goddamn year."

Izumi walked to where her best friend sat and placed her hand on Kazuyo's shoulder. "It's alright; the only thing we can do is move on." She said, trying to console Kazuyo. But as much as Izumi tried to make it sound true, it was obvious that what she had said was a lie. She wanted to cry and scream how unjust it was that her brother was gone but Izumi couldn't shed anymore tears; too many had fallen in the first few months.

She only felt numbness today.

Kazuyo moved Izumi's hand away and stood up. "I'm sorry; you probably want to go visit him."

"It's fine-"

"Go, and don't forget to bring him the flowers that he loved." Izumi smiled and carefully walked over to where Kagami lay, asleep. Izuna would have loved his son so much; it was unfair how he had to be taken away from this. Giving the sleeping baby a smile, Izumi walked away to the front door to go visit her brother's grave. But there was one place she needed to go to before going there.

Izumi needed to go to Madara's house first.

"Madara?" Izumi asked as she gingerly opened the door. She expected a messy house, one with dirty dishes piling up in the sink and dirty laundry across the floor, but there were none.

This house was clean, almost as if no one lived in it.

"Madara?"

"I'm over here." She heard a muffled voice from the office room. Sighing, she took off her shoes and walked to where her older was at. When she slid open the door, Izumi saw that her brother was holding a bouquet and was wearing the traditional black, just like her. "Are you going right now?" Izumi nodded her head.

"Yes, I was wondering if you wanted to come along."

"Are you sure I should be the one going-"

"I d-don't think I can do this alone and Kazuyo has to watch over Kagami."

In the last six month, their relationship had gotten a little better, although it wasn't by much. But it was enough to where the two weren't at each's throats whenever they were in a room together and could hold a conversation that didn't turn hostile. Madara was her only family left besides Kagami.

He was her older brother, the one that she loved from the bottom of her heart despite the differences they had.

"I'm about to go anyways." He gave her a smile and closed the drawer. Izumi walked out of the door and Madara followed.

Izumi stopped walking at the gate. It wasn't by choice; her legs just suddenly stopped her.

"Izumi?" She looked down at her hands and noticed that they were shaking.

"I d-don't think I can do t-this." She said in a frail voice to her older brother.

Izumi's only been to Izuna's grave once, a week after his funeral. It was so hard for her not to just run away that day; she almost had a breakdown on the spot. Kazuyo literally had to walk her out of the cemetery.

"You can do this Izumi. We can do this." Madara gave her his arm. Izumi took a deep breath and linked her arm with his and let Madara lead the way to Izuna's grave.

With every step she took she felt heavier, sadder, angrier. Izumi could feel her heart beat harder and harder to the point where she thought she was having a heart attack (she wasn't). Her brother suddenly stopped and Izumi's eyes focused on the name on the headstone that they both stopped in front of.

Uchiha Izuna.

Izumi let out a sob from reading his name. Without knowing, Madara had removed his arm from hers and placed his hand against her back.

"I'm so sorry Izuna." She sobbed out. Her legs couldn't hold her weight and she collapsed on the ground. Madara kneeled down and gently took the bouquet in her hands and placed it below the headstone.

Izuna was too young, he shouldn't have died. He should've been able to see his son's birth and see him grow up. He should've been able to actually get married with Kazuyo; he should've been a father and a husband.

But It wasn't the Senju's fault; it wasn't even Madara's fault.

No, it was fate's fault.

"I'm sorry Izumi, I should've been stronger, I should've just pushed aside old conflicts and just signed that goddamn treaty." Izumi heard her older brother say. She felt her brother wrap his arms around her in a hug. She shook her head and cried harder.

By coming here Izumi finally realized the one thing she just didn't want to acknowledge.

Izuna was truly gone.

August

Two Months Later...

"Hey Tobirama. I brought riceballs!" Izumi shouted out happily to the white haired Senju. He turned around and gave her a little smile.

"Hello Izumi."

"I want to spar with you today." Tobirama raised his eyebrows in shock.

"Spar?"

Izumi nodded her head. "Yup." She said, popping the "p".

"Why do you want to do that suddenly?"

Izumi shrugged her shoulders. "I have some pent up energy that I want to blow off."

"I guess…"

"Great! We'll have a break and eat the food after the spar." She said excitedly. Without wasting second Izumi took off the shirt she was wearing to reveal a tight tank top. Her pants were already skintight so she didn't bother with that. "Come on!" She jumped off of the cliff and used her chakra to land as gracefully as she could onto the water. Tobirama soon followed her and he had decided to take off his shirt leaving him in a tank top like her. Izumi shook her arms to get rid of the nervousness she felt.

"Ready?" Izumi nodded her head. "This is only a taijutsu fight so no weapons and ninjutsu." She nodded her head again. This was exciting –not to mention she just got in an argument with Madara- Izumi had all this anger and steam that she needed to blow off.

Without saying anything, she ran towards Tobirama. With a chakra powered jump, she whirled around in the air and raised her leg to kick Tobirama in the head. Seeing this, he raised his arms and blocked her kick, giving Izumi the opportunity to do a backflip from Tobirama's arms to get away from him. As she landed back on the uneven water, Izumi had to immediately lean back to avoid a punch, but she didn't see the leg sweep that Tobirama did. Izumi's eyes widened and she fell backwards –careful to use chakra so she didn't fall into the water- but she didn't have time to lay there, Izumi had to roll to the side so she didn't get kicked in the head by the leg Tobirama swung down. She quickly stood up and blocked the uppercut that was headed toward her and used that opening to kick Tobirama in the abdomen, a place where he had left vulnerable when he went to attack her. Her kick pushed Tobirama a few feet away and she saw the expression on his face.

It made Izumi very happy.

"You're better than I thought." He had announced after a few seconds of silence between the two.

Izumi quirked her eyebrow. "Oh? Were you underestimating me?"

"...Sorry." Tobirama apologized, but he didn't sound very sincere. Izumi laughed and fell into stance.

"Are you ready for round two?" She saw Tobirama smirk before he just...disappeared. Izumi's eyes widened and she looked around, but wasn't anywhere. There was no way that this...thing Tobirama just did wasn't a jutsu; he had to have used one. Well, if Tobirama wanted to play dirty, then so would she.

Izumi closed her eyes and then reopened them, she had activated her Sharingan. She looked around her surroundings and noticed that Tobirama was hidden in a tree a few feet to her left.

"Come on out Tobirama!" She shouted out. She turned to face the tree he was in but with a flicker, he had disappeared again.

Untraceable to her eyes.

Her eyes widened once again until she felt something behind her. Izumi turned around and saw Tobirama doing that annoying smirk that she found so annoying (yet it caused her heart to beat faster).

"What was that?"

"It was a jutsu that I happened to create." Tobirama said to Izumi. He couldn't believe what he was saying, but he felt that he could trust Izumi with this jutsu. He knew that she had a chance of copying this jutsu if she saw the seal work and even then she would have to change the sealwork because it was one that Tobirama created for himself. Just by seeing the Hiraishin in action she wouldn't be able to do anything.

"Huh... Can I see it again?" Izumi asked. He was so…fast. It was something she's never seen before; it was quite shocking to her. She deactivated her Sharingan and smiled at Tobirama. "Please?" She saw him nod his head and he disappeared. But because he wasn't trying to hide his chakra signature, she was able to sense him wherever he went. Izumi kept turning to her left because that was where Tobirama kept going too.

But she suddenly stopped because she was suddenly looking at a black tank top. Izumi slowly looked up and saw that Tobirama was looking down at her with his red eyes.

Something in the air had changed and either of them didn't know how.

Looking down at Izumi right now, Tobirama never fully realized how...attractive she was. Sure, whenever he saw her smile or laugh his heart would beat a little harder and notice how pretty she was, but he always pushed those feeling aside. He sure didn't know what came over him when he used the Hiraishin seal on her; Tobirama knew that it would mean he would be right behind her. Yet, he felt compelled to. But as he stared into Izumi's eyes right now, Tobirama knew that whatever he felt when he was near her was something he never thought he would feel.

He was...attracted to her. But she was a Uchiha and even if he was friends with her, was he allowed to feel these things for Izumi?

Izumi felt Tobirama place his hands on her cheeks, making her look into his eyes. That was when she noticed conflict in them. She would see why, doing...whatever they were doing right now was against both of their teachings in their clans. He was a Senju, she was a Uchiha. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

Yet...Izumi was willing to defy those rules because standing right there with Tobirama made her realize her feelings for the man. It made her realize that this was something she wanted and it seemed that Tobirama thought the same way too. Whatever bad he was thinking disappeared and in his eyes was determination. He slowly leaned down, his hands still on Izumi's face. She placed her hands on his shoulders and stood on her toes because he was so much taller than her.

Letting her eyes shut, the last thing Izumi saw was Tobirama's face closing in on hers.

A/N: I'M SUCH AN EVIL PERSON LEAVING THIS CHAPTER AT THIS PLACE BUT I JUST HAD TOO I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING CRUEL LIKE THIS xD (I'm not sorry by the way.)

I do want to thank so many of you guys for reviewing and leaving a favorite or follow to this story, it's making me so happy and full of joy, something that I kinda need right now for some in RL reasons.

So, how was this chapter? Surprisingly, this is actually one of my favorite ones for some reason. It was all angst in the beginning but then gets happy at the end xD I think I wrote their little "moment" quite well. But if I didn't, then I'm sorry. This is actually the first time I've written something like this because in In Time I'm nowhere near romance, Kakashi and Haruka (the main characters in that story) are still 14. No romance yet Dx I know that in that last chapter it seemed as if Izumi was really accepting of Izuna's death, but she wasn't. Sorry if that kinda annoyed some of you guys, I just wanted to put the aftershock in this chapter instead.

But anyhow, I hope this chapter was as good as I think it is! I suck at writing fighting scenes (obviously) but I know for sure that it wasn't confusing. DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID WITH IZUNA'S BABY I NAMED HIM KAGAMI *COUGH* *COUGH*

But I bad for leaving this chapter like this so I will tell you that I'll be going into canon next chapter. Konoha's not that far away!

I recommend Stormdancer, or basically the Lotus War Series written by Jay Kristoff. It's heavily based on Japanese Mythology but it's actually quite steampunk too. I like this series a lot and I'm actually half way through the third book right now.

That's about it so don't forget to leave a review and a follow/fav. if you haven't!

Until next time!~

(P.S. I'm still working on the next chapter for In Time so I'm sorry that it hasn't been updated yet!)

JUST IN CASE ANYBODY IS CONFUSED, IZUMI IS 19 AND TOBIRAMA IS 22.