A/N: It is back! If you missed the small interlude from this universe that's in Sarah's POV, which I wrote and posted specifically for this scary situation we are all going through right now, you can find it on my page. It's called Ellie Versus the Dive. We'll see if I can manage to make it work with what I'm writing in my main Dive fic, aka THIS ONE. Please stay safe at home if you can, and if you work as a doctor, nurse, respiratory therapist, et cetera...or do work cleaning/administrating in hospitals and medical clinics, know that you are indispensable and incredible. If any of you are here and reading this, I'm writing it for you. To give you some semblance of warmth and calm in your day. And hopefully to make you laugh a little. I love you. We all do. And without further ado, some light and happiness.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. I'm not making any money from this fic. Literally posting this for free.
Her chest heaved with a quick intake of breath beneath his skilled touch as he worked to slowly ease her down from the ecstatic high he'd just brought her to. It was painstakingly slow, but it was worth it for the way her fingers twisted in his curls, her thighs squeezing him between them.
He brought one hand down to throw the covers off of his head and crawled back up her body as she took deep, rasping breaths. She let go of his hair and covered her face with both hands.
"Oh my God," she gasped, her voice muffled by her palms. And then she pushed both hands through her hair and took another deep, long breath. "Where did you even learn how to do that so well?" she panted, an invigoratingly satisfied smile spreading over her delicious lips. She was incredible for his self-esteem. He opened his mouth to respond, but she reached over and clamped her hand over his mouth before he could. "Never mind. I've decided I don't want to know." Her eyelids fluttered open and she hit him with a lusty gaze. "What you just did released enough of my endorphins that I'm not sure I wouldn't get jealous and ragey hearing your answer."
Chuck laughed and curled his arm around her body, propping himself up over her with his other elbow on the pillow beside her head. "Do you get ragey when you release endorphins?"
"I don't know, this has never happened to me before, but I don't want to take any chances and have you running for the hills in terror." Her grin was smug and impressed all at once.
"Honestly, you're so good for my ego," he chuckled, shaking his head.
"Maybe stop with the mind blowing sex and it won't be a problem, Curls." She rolled her eyes up at the ceiling and let out a rough breath, then grinned, giggled, and shook herself.
"Well, I'm not doing it alone. It's a two-way street."
She just grinned harder. And then she reached up and stroked his hair, wincing a little. "I'm thirsty."
He couldn't pass up the chance as he pushed himself to sit up. "I know. You nearly tore my shirt in half trying to get it off of me."
Cackling, she grabbed a free pillow and smacked him across the face with it. "I meant do you have anything to drink, you ass!"
He frowned, spitting a feather out of his mouth, which made her laugh even harder, and he really couldn't help but join in. As their laughter subsided, he draped himself over her again. "I've got a bottle of gin I've been slowly making my way through stashed away in the mini fridge."
She giggled. "Do you?"
"Yeah. I'm lazy. The drinks from downstairs are insanely expensive and take forever to get up here, and sometimes I just want to pour some gin over ice. So sue me."
Grinning, she slid her arms around his neck and shrugged one shoulder cutely. "Can I have some?"
"Pfft. Of course. You can have as much as you want. But I have to go refresh the ice. Pretty sure it's all melted. And there's no way I'm not giving you ice with your gin. I'm a much better host than that." He pressed a kiss to her cheek with a hum, and climbed out of bed, feeling superhuman levels of spry.
Frowning, he cast his eyes around the room, looking for his boxers.
"Did you need these?" Sarah asked, and he watched as she dug down under the covers, finally pulling her hand out with his boxers dangling from her fingers.
"How'd they get—? Oh. Right." He blushed and leaned over to snatch them from her. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it."
And she stayed draped over his bed, looking completely comfortable, loose, satisfied, and totally at home.
He loved her like this more than anything.
It took a few minutes for him to slip shorts and a T-shirt on, dump the water out of the ice bucket, replace the bag, and head for the door as she called "Thank yoooou" after him.
He saluted her, hurried through the suite, and stepped out into the hallway.
But no sooner had the door shut behind him that his phone rang in the pocket of his shorts. He'd forgotten that was there. "Hm!" he chirped, digging in his pocket and pulling it out. He grinned as he answered. "Hey, sis!"
"Well, hello you." The last word was drawn out by a loud, massive yawn. "Sorry. Just got off of a twenty-four hour and of course there's freaking traffic after one in the morning because LA is the best, so I'm calling you to stay awake. Please save me."
Chuck laughed. "I'm sorry, El, that's rough. Why the hell is there traffic right now?"
"Some jackasses bumped each other and took forever to pull over and everyone needs to see it like they've never seen it fifty bajillion times before so they have to slow down, and honestly, there really is no reason for it, people are just dumb."
"That's true. We'll never escape it."
"You have! You're in paradise where there is no traffic."
He snorted. If only Sarah had heard that. "Oh, there's traffic."
"What, like…surfboard traffic?"
He chuckled. "No, there aren't a lot of roads but there are cars. Only certain parts of the island, though. It's not as bad as the rest of the islands I don't think, I'll say that."
"Which reminds me…how is that island of yours?"
Chuck tried not to relive the last hour plus while on the phone with his sister, but he failed, and a wide, happy grin graced his face. "Oh, really good. Really, really good."
"I might be out of my mind with exhaustion, but I still heard that."
"Heard what?"
"Were you just with a certain scuba instructor, brother of mine?"
He stopped walking and just stood there in the middle of the hallway. "Jesus Christ, you could hear it?"
"Yes. You sound like the cat who got the cream. While also being weirdly chipper. It would be annoying to me as someone who hasn't even seen my boyfriend in like two days even though we live together…if I wasn't just super relieved you're getting laid finally."
"Oh my God! Ellie, come on!" He laughed in spite of himself.
"Look, I'm going off of six hours of sleep in the last thirty six hours. I'm not beating around the bush. Are you being safe?"
"ELLIE!"
This time she laughed as he freaked out, his voice high pitched. "I'm just kiddinnnngg," she drawled. "You're way too easy."
"Whatever, you weirdo," he chuckled.
She giggled. "So anyway… Hold on, highway patrol, lemme put you on speaker…" The sound was a bit fuzzy on the phone then but he could still hear as she continued. "What have you been up to?"
"Uhhhh…"
"Oh God, stop. I don't mean that. I'm asking about your trip. I haven't talked to you in a few days."
"Oh. Right."
"How was that hike you were going on? You went with Sarah and, uh, her coworker, right? I think that's what you texted me."
He spotted a small lounging area near a large window that overlooked the water and walked over to plop down on a chair. But he didn't want to get too comfortable since Sarah was waiting for him. "It was freaking awesome. And actually, Liz isn't really one of Sarah's coworkers, per se, she's her coworker Gina's girlfriend. She leads hikes for a job, for REI."
"Oh, that's her career? Jesus, must be nice, just tromping around in Hawaii's mountains all the time and getting paid."
"Right?" He chuckled.
"How much did she charge ya?"
"Oh, she didn't. She took us up there for free."
"What?!" Ellie made a pitiful whining sound. "You're so luckyyyyy!" He laughed. "Well damn, I guess dating Sarah's really had its perks, huh?"
Chuck blanched then, squirming in discomfort. "Uh. Well, I mean…we're not exactly—What I mean is that we're not—We haven't actually said that we're—So, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say dating."
"Wow, you've really got things sorted out since the last time we talked about Sarah, huh?" she asked in a dry voice.
"Shut up."
She snorted. "God, you really are a mess, Charles Irving. I still love you."
"Shut. Up. This isn't exactly a typical situation, you know? I didn't go on vacation expecting to meet a woman like this. And I'm leaving in a week again. So. There's a lot to…figure out."
"But you haven't figured out anything at all yet obviously."
"You really are blunt tonight. Damn."
"I'm tired and I'm out of fucks to give." He chuckled and shook his head. "Just talk to me, Chuck. Come on. Let's talk it out. I'm stuck in traffic. I have all night probably," she groused in a flat voice.
"I don't. I have to get back to my room with some ice."
There was a pause and then it must've clicked. "Ooooo! Wait! She's in your room right now? Sarah?"
"Who else?"
He heard a quiet squeak and rolled his eyes. "Wow, brother. Good work."
"Yeah, well…" I know, he wanted to say. But then, he wasn't sure if he could take credit for something he'd stumbled into and he still couldn't quite figure out how she was still here.
"Okay, so…?"
"So…what?"
"So talk to me."
"I like her so much," he rushed out then, like he'd been bottling it up inside of him. And he had been, hadn't he? "I like her so much, Ellie. I mean, I'm practically losing my mind I like her so much."
"So what you're saying is…you're crazy about her?"
"Haaaa," he drawled in a sarcastic tone, shaking his head. "I'm serious, El. She's so great. She's such a bad ass and the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my entire life. She's funny, she's got this giant heart that's just… Gah, she's so full of warmth. And being around her just… I just feel so good when I'm near her, Ellie. She's incredible. And there's just this…connection. Between us. It's so natural but so intense and so God damn exciting but comforting all at once, but not comforting really? Since I'm going totally nuts over it?"
Ellie was a little quiet. "I dunno, Chuck, she sounds pretty great."
"She is. And…I dunno, maybe I'm crazy for this, but I like her so much that my mind keeps sort of…wandering to…I dunno, if there's maybe some kind of…future for us."
"Whoa." There was a long pause. "Chuck… Honey, that sounds kind of big."
There was a tentative tone to her voice, like she was holding back or something.
"I know. It feels kind of big."
Annnnd there it was. She squealed and he had to pull the phone away from his ear with a, "Wow. Okay." He really should've been prepared for that.
"But Chuck…" He put the phone back to his ear. "Chuck, I need you to slow down for just a second. Because… Ugh, it's not that I'm trying to rain on your parade or make you second guess. I'm not. Really. But she does live there. That's her home. Kauai is her home and it's, what, almost three thousand miles away?"
Chuck winced and sank lower in his chair. "About twenty-six-hundred miles," he tried.
"Same thing. That's super far. You're going to be leaving to come back here to LA at some point, Chuck. And when you do, that's twenty-six-hundred miles that'll be between you two."
He let his head fall back against the chair and groaned. "I know. You don't need to remind me. Thinking about it makes me feel like crap, though, so thanks."
"Well, I'm sorry. Really, I am," she said genuinely, "but don't you think it's kind of something you have to figure out? Before you leave?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like, you need to figure out what to do. If you really like this woman as much as all that, what are you going to do about it? And when?" He was silent for a few seconds, sitting up and staring out the window as the moonlight danced over the horizon. "Let me say it this way: What do you want, Chuck?"
He leaned his elbow on his knee and propped his chin on his palm. "I guess I've been afraid to think too much on that. Just in case it…starts showing or something and it freaks her out. She's good at reading me."
"Everyone's good at reading you, Chuck."
He glared even though she couldn't see it. "Touché. My point remains valid."
"Well, you don't think you should figure all that out before you come back to LA? Here's the question, and it's just us, she's not there, so you can be completely honest with me. Ready?" She paused dramatically. "Do you want to be with her?"
"Yes," he said easily. Immediately. "So badly it hurts."
She giggled. He could practically see her shaking her head at him. "So? Is that something you're willing to talk to her about?"
"Well, I-I have to if I want to be with her. I guess. Right?"
"Yes. That's sound logic." He made a face at the teasing in her tone. "But when, Chuck? Soon?"
"I…don't know. What if I do it now and she isn't on the same page as me and I fuck up the last week I could've spent with her? Like, what if I do that and it means six fewer days of being with her? What if I hang up with you right now, walk into my room, say 'I want to be with you even after I go home to LA' and she gets that quintessential 'oh shit I got in way too deep with this guy' super uncomfortable, awkward face? It'll fucking suck, Ellie. And it'll ruin the rest of my time here that I could've spent with her just…enjoying her company."
"You're right. I mean, if you say you want to be with her and she isn't really on the same page right now, there's a chance it changes things between you. Even if you are on the same page and she wants you the way you want her, it'll change things. I don't know her, so I don't know how. But it will. That's something you have to take into consideration."
Chuck groaned again. "What do I do, El? This is so hard. I was just tryin'a go on vacation."
"Are you complaining?"
He sighed. "No. Not about meeting her. Not at all."
She snorted. "Yeah, didn't think so. Well, here. Do you like how things are going between you right now? Are you enjoying it?"
"God, yes. It's the best part of this vacation by far. The best part of…this whole year." My whole life, he thought to himself. And that was the truth. …Shit. He was in a whole lot of trouble.
"So…hmmm. I know. I've got it. Maybe the best way for you to handle this is to just figure out what page she's on. And if it seems like she's just…having fun, which…no shame in that…then you can just…enjoy, chill the fuck out a little bit, let things keep going like this, the same as it's been."
"Natural progression until I eventually have to get on that plane and leave…" he muttered. "Yeah. You're right. That wouldn't change anything, she wouldn't feel super awkward and I'd feel a lot better. But how can I tell?"
"I don't know. Maybe… My brain is fried so take this with a grain of salt. Maybe you can sort of say something, hint at maybe…extending things between you past the end of your trip. Don't flat out say 'HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING MY GIRLFRIEND, SARAH?'" She raised her voice enough that Chuck had to pull the phone away. Was that how she thought he sounded? God, she must be loopy. He was maybe gonna take this advice with a grain of salt. "I know! This is subtle. Okay? See what her thoughts are on long-distance relationships in general. Go from there. Then you can at least infer from that point, right? Like, if she does the whole 'ugh I did that once and it was the worst', you'll know."
He huffed and nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Okay, El. I've gotta get back. But thank you. Thanks for allowing me an outlet to let all of this out. She's…" He sighed wistfully.
"She seems pretty special, Chuck," Ellie said warmly. "I'm happy for you. Act accordingly," she added seriously.
"I will. And I love ya. Tell Captain Awesome hi, huh?"
"Mhm! I will. He's gonna gloat about the fact that the scuba trip was his idea for the rest of your life. You know that, right?"
"Yes. Yep. I'm prepared for that. It's worth it, though."
"Sounds that way," she said, a smile in her voice. "Love you, Chuck."
"Love you too, sis."
He hung up and dashed around the corner to get ice as quickly as he could, before sprinting back to his suite and letting himself back inside.
Part of him was a little freaked she wouldn't still be here. He didn't know why. Maybe the conversation with Ellie had knocked him down a peg or two, even though he'd really, really needed the conversation more than he'd realized.
She was right that he needed to figure out what he wanted and what he would do about this. Maybe he could find a way to hint, to get some sort of idea of where Sarah stood with this, with them. And then he could act accordingly, like Ellie said.
He also knew that if he'd met Sarah in Los Angeles, she would've squealed a lot harder. And she would've told him to dive headfirst into this. But Ellie was realistic and pragmatic, even if she was one of the most positive people he'd ever met in his life. And the truth was that Sarah did live here. She'd made a home here. She was even thinking of buying that house she was living in. She had the Scuba Shack, a good job and good friends. She was shining here. She thrived here.
As far as Ellie was concerned, this was just a woman he'd met by chance while on vacation, and he'd always had a hard time with women. He didn't fall often, but when he did fall, it was hard, uncompromisingly hard. And the last time that had happened, he'd had his heart shattered so badly he'd nearly allowed his whole life to slip through his fingers.
He couldn't blame her for being tentative about Sarah.
For all his sister knew, he was being his usual extra self.
She couldn't understand how serious it all felt, how intimate things were. How deep this woman had gotten inside of him.
And Ellie hadn't met Sarah. She hadn't spoken with her. She didn't even know what she looked like. If she spent even five minutes with her, he knew Ellie would, first of all, adore her, and secondly, threaten Chuck to within an inch of his life if he didn't snatch Sarah up.
But Ellie wasn't here. He wasn't in LA. He was in Kauai, and this had happened with a woman who was settled here, twenty-six hundred miles away from where he was settled. And he'd only known her for a little over two weeks.
It was enough for him. Sixteen days were more than enough to know he could easily be serious about Sarah Walker. If they were in Los Angeles, he would be serious about her. That was the truth.
Who was he kidding? He was serious about her here. Maybe especially because of this crazy, different sort of situation in which they were coexisting. And hunkering down together through a hurricane? It had done something to him, and he wondered if it happened to her too.
God, he just liked her so much.
He stopped at the entrance to the bedroom and saw her still splayed out in bed, the sheets pulled up to her shoulders, that inviting grin on her face, and he realized that, for all intents and purposes, he way more than 'liked' Sarah Walker.
"What took you so long?" she asked. "I almost sent out a search party. And I would've, too, if I wasn't so comfortable right where I am. And also I'm naked. Would've been awkward."
"Don't want the search party seein' that," he said, shaking his head in faux seriousness. He popped open the fridge and took the gin out, setting it on the dresser with two clean glasses and putting the ice bucket down.
She giggled. "So? Did you have to go on an epic quest to find the ice machine?"
"Oh. I'm really sorry about that." He glanced at her over his shoulder as he made the drinks. "My sister called while I was out there. She wanted to hear about the hike."
"Nice! Wait, isn't it, like, one-thirty in Los Angeles? She's still awake?"
"Ah, yeah." He picked up both drinks and walked back to the bed as she pushed herself with a soft moan to sit up against the headboard, holding the sheet over her chest. "She just finished a twenty-four hour shift at the hospital and was stuck in traffic so she decided to give me a call so I could keep her awake."
He chuckled as Sarah took the drink he offered her and made a face.
"Oh God, that sounds like torture. A twenty-four hour shift and then traffic. At that hour of the night?" She shuddered.
Chuck took his shorts off and left them on the floor, crawling over her carefully to join her in bed again. "She's used to it. But yeah, I'd never be able to do that. So awful. Back when I still lived with them, they'd both be coming home at these crazy hours and they'd just pass out. More than once, I walked out of my room in the morning for work and they'd be passed out in their scrubs on top of one another on the couch with the TV blaring. Poor kids," he finished with a chuckle.
Sarah shook her head. "That's out of control. I don't think I'd have it in me, either. But she's incredible for it." Then she thrust her glass out towards him. As he grinned and clinked his glass against hers, she said, "To having jobs that don't require twenty-four hour shifts and lots of blood and brain matter."
He laughed and took a drink. "I'm with you on that," he chirped. "I'm all about circuit boards, though, which is, like…the computer version of brain matter."
She giggled. "Nerd."
"Why, yes. Yes, I am." He lifted his glass in a cheers gesture again and then lowered it to take another sip.
They fell into a warm silence then, and she wordlessly leaned her side against his, cradling her drink in her lap as she rested her head on his shoulder. Chuck took the opportunity to go back to his conversation with Ellie. It was a bit of a blessing that she'd just gotten off of a twenty-four hour shift because it meant he'd gotten blunt advice from her, no holds barred. It was exactly the advice he'd needed, and Ellie really was the only person who was capable of just giving him the truth, even if it stung a little. She'd always been his person for that.
She was right. He needed to do something about this.
Turning to Sarah right now and telling her he had serious feelings for her, that he didn't want to go back to Los Angeles without establishing some sort of plan or something for how they'd proceed was not gonna happen. He couldn't do it. He decided right then and there as he sat beside Sarah, her warmth pressed into his arm, that he wasn't doing it in that moment.
Sure, she'd told him outright that she wanted to spend his last six days on the island with him. And he took it the way he should take it; that Sarah sincerely valued their time together, that she genuinely liked him. She'd shown up tonight of her own accord.
But that didn't necessarily mean she was onboard with a relationship that extended beyond him leaving Kauai after his vacation was over. That was a completely different ballgame. That was a commitment neither of them had voiced during this…whatever they were doing.
And was Sarah ready to make any kind of commitment like that? Maybe if they were living in the same place, if their lives were nearer than twenty-six-hundred miles. But neither of those things were true, and if there was a commitment between them, it would be long-distance. That even scared him, and he was well aware of his strong feelings for her. He had no idea where Sarah stood except that he'd at least moved past the point of thinking she was just being nice to him. He'd moved well past that.
They had something. It was special. He felt it, and he thought she must too, or she most likely wouldn't be in his bed beside him at that very moment, snuggled against him.
But did she want more than the next six days?
After all, she told him about all of the places she'd lived, how she'd bounced around from city to city, traveled the world. What was it she'd said on their first date? They'd been sitting out at that café where she used to work, in the wee hours before sunrise… She'd said, I'm not great at being stationary.
He didn't judge her at all for it, but he did think there was a possibility—a good possibility—that she wouldn't be interested in a long-distance relationship with a guy who was very stationary. Was that too stationary? Being tied to a very stationary guy?
Now his brain was spiraling a bit and he needed to pull back.
He wasn't going to ask her right now and risk losing time with her. He might spook her, make her uncomfortable, and things would be awkward. It would seriously put her on the spot and that was fair.
Or worse, she would tell him she wasn't expecting this to last past him getting on that plane and going home. And then he'd have his answer. And he'd feel like shit for the last six days of his trip. And then she'd feel bad for making him feel bad.
What if she just got dressed and left because he overstepped? And then she stopped answering his calls and texts?
Jesus, he really was spiraling.
He forced his brain to change tack. He wasn't going to railroad Sarah right now and force her to make some sort of crazy decision about their future. But Ellie'd had a good idea when she advised him to test the waters, so to speak. He could gauge her reaction and go from there.
But how?
What could he say?
How did he do it without her figuring it out? Because she was crazy smart, in spite of her obviously thinking less of herself for not attending college. And she was good at reading him.
If she did figure him out, it would make things awkward, and she'd feel like she was being tested, and he imagined she wouldn't take it well. He couldn't blame her for it.
And now he felt guilty for trying this. But if he did it right, he could figure out how to move forward. He was desperate for a way forward.
Maybe if he just kept his questions about her, about her life here, and didn't hint at anything having to do with him, that'd be best…
He sipped his gin—liquid courage and all that—and then reached over to set it on the nightstand, before he slid his arm around her back and pulled her in against his chest. She sighed happily and leaned back, letting her forehead lean into his jaw. Chuck smiled and squeezed her.
"Can I be perfectly honest with you, Sarah?"
She finished her drink and laid back against him again. "Mhm."
"I've got my dream that I'm working on—you know, BarTech, my company. I'm doing what I always said I wanted to do, I'm working to build it up into something bigger and better… I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I have to admit, the life you're leading here? I'm a little envious."
She turned her head just a little so that he could see a smile on her profile. "Oh, yeah? Is it Hawaii? Or are you miraculously cured of your fear of water now and you want to spend your days out on a boat floating in the ocean?"
He let out a chuckle and shook his head. "Ummmm, less the boat thing and more the Hawaii thing. I mean, not that I think life for people who live here is a walk in the park…or I guess, more appropriately, a day at the beach…" She giggled. "But you've got really good people around you. And your job just…suits you."
"Mhm. But hey, you get to hire the people around you. Are they not good?"
"They're great! They're great people. I love my people. I don't know. I really don't know what I'm trying to say. I just… I guess I have a question. That… that I want to ask you." She didn't say anything so he just went out on a limb and asked anyway. "Is this life you're leading, this existence you're living, here on Kauai, with the Scuba Shack job, and the house you're renting, and the whole…island atmosphere and everything… Are you happy here? I mean, is it…fulfilling for you?"
There was a long pause, and he thought he felt her go a little tense against him.
He realized then how it must have sounded. Like he was judging her for not having a normal nine to five desk job.
"I don't mean it in a judging way, and I know it probably sounded like that," he rushed out, sliding his hand to her arm and squeezing. "I'm sorry if it came off that way. God, that was rude."
"No. No, it's okay… But, um, what do you mean?"
He noticed she had her head turned away, and he wondered if she was doing it intentionally so that he couldn't see her face.
"I don't know. I just… You seem like you're doing just fine here. Like you love it here. So I'm wondering if you're…happy. If all of this makes you feel fulfilled. Content. I really like you a lot and you deserve to feel that. I'm wondering if you do. Not a judgment on your life or anything; your life seems freakin' rad. I'm just generally curious about how you feel. I know it's none of my business…"
She still felt a little tense as she sat up, pulling out of his embrace, and then she turned to regard him for a long while. Her eyes were searching his, and he thought maybe he was just imagining it, but there was…suspicion there. What she had to be suspicious of, he didn't know, so he figured he was just imagining it.
"Did I cross a line?" he asked, holding his hands up. "Just tell me. I apologize either way."
She stared at him for another few moments and then she sighed and shook her head, a small smile playing on her features. "You didn't cross a line. I guess no one's ever asked me that before."
"What, whether or not you're happy?"
She shrugged. "Sure, that. But the part about whether or not this life is fulfilling enough for me. Where'd you get that?" She paused. "I mean, why did you ask that question in particular?"
Chuck frowned thoughtfully and pushed himself to sit up a bit straighter against the headboard. "Uh…" He pursed his lips and shrugged. "Well, I guess that's usually one of the things people lump in with happiness. I mean, having a fulfilling job, a fulfilling existence, one that utilizes all of your skills and talents to their fullest… That's usually what puts a person on the path to happiness, right? Or…you know, maybe some people thinking making a difference is part of that, too. That make sense?" He winced.
Sarah's eyes were narrowed as she regarded him closely again. "So…you're asking me if my job at the Scuba Shack is…challenging enough for me? If it's…utilizing all of my skills? My talents? As opposed to… Well, I dunno, what sort of job do you think I'd be better suited for?"
"I-I dunno. I'm not saying there's a better one out there for you. The Scuba Shack is awesome and you-you are making a difference. Look at me, for instance. Three weeks ago, I would never have climbed onto a boat—I'd get the shakes just thinkin' about it. And now I've been on two boats. I even went scuba diving. You did that. And I'm sure I'm not the first person you've changed by doing what you do. I won't be the last, either." He huffed, reaching out and folding his hand over hers, squeezing it. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Sarah. The Scuba Shack is great. You're great at your job. And it's an awesome job. You guys make a difference in people's lives. If I wasn't still freaked about boats and the ocean, I'd ask Alexei to take me on as a, uh, what are those kids that scrub the ship deck?"
"A swab?" she asked. "Cabin boy?"
"Both. I could do both."
Sarah giggled and shook her head, that sparkle back in her blue eyes. "That wouldn't work."
"No? Why? Besides my fear of the ocean. We'll pretend that's not a problem for a second."
"No vessel can operate properly if crew members are fraternizing. Romantic entanglements are sincerely frowned upon at Scuba Shack. And I'm not sure I could handle walking past you swabbing the deck a million times a day without wanting to drag you into my cabin at night to take a bite out of you."
His jaw came unhinged and his chin just sat there in his lap as he stared at her. She reached over and slipped her finger under his chin, gently shutting his mouth for him with a click of his teeth. "Take a bite out of me?" he repeated, shaking his head and letting out a low whistle and fanning himself. "Lady, you make me blush like no one I've ever met."
Sarah laughed. "Thank you."
"Hey, wait. Alexei really has a rule like that about his employees not dating each other?"
"No." She giggled. "Kai's ex worked at Scuba Shack for a few months before I got there. I was the official replacement after they broke up and he left the island."
"Oooof, shit. He left the whole island?" Chuck winced.
"It was a bad break-up and the island is small." She winced back.
"That'd be enough for a rule to be implemented."
She shook her head with a snort. "Nah, I was teasing. Alexei doesn't actually care what we do as long as we respect the Shack and present ourselves with integrity in front of our customers and students. He just wants us getting the job done. And we do."
"So what you're saying iiiiis I could be a deck swab. And you'd still be allowed to take a bite outta me later. After we get our work done." She rolled her eyes and grinned. "The only question would be…your cabin or mine?"
She scoffed. "As if a swab would get his own cabin. You get a hammock at the most."
"A hammo—Why you—!" He dove for her and she squealed. Careful to take her glass of melting ice out of her hands and set it to the side, he wrestled her down against the mattress and pinned her there, sitting on her legs. "I have news for you, Scuba Sarah," he said down at her as she giggled with her tongue between her teeth. "I am not sleepin' on a damn hammock. I will commandeer your cabin, I will commandeer your bed, and then you know what I will do?"
Her eyes flashed and she arched her eyebrow. "You gonna commandeer me?"
Bullseye. His hands loosened on her wrists and his eyelids fluttered, and as if he'd been sniped through the window, he tipped over and landed on his side, unmoving.
Sarah laughed at his antics and sat up again with the sheets tangled around her body, looking a little like a painting of Aphrodite or something. She smirked down at him. "What were you gonna say?"
"I honestly can't tell you. I legit don't remember." And that was the truth. He didn't. "You broke me. I'm broken."
She sniffed in amusement and then flopped over onto her side in front of him so that they were lying diagonally on the bed facing one another. And then her smile dwindled a bit, her beautiful features serious. Reaching up to fix one of his curls, she breathed, "You're the least broken person I've ever met, Chuck. Everything about you feels like it's exactly…what a person should be." She stroked her fingers down his face and sighed. "Sometimes I'm not sure if you're even real, you're so…perfect."
There was something in her eyes that sent a tentative feeling through him. It was a compliment, so why did he feel that strange…twinge inside of him. Like he'd somehow misstepped with his question about her happiness and fulfillment.
"I'm not perfect," he said. "I say stupid stuff all the time. Hey, if I offended you or anything earlier, I—"
But she pressed her finger to his lips. "You didn't. I just wasn't prepared for the question. I've never had anyone who's…" She shrugged the shoulder she wasn't lying on. "…cared enough to ask. I mean who the fuck cares if I'm fulfilled by what I do?"
"I care." He smiled a bit crookedly, just a small smile.
She looked at him for a while, and then she nodded slowly. "I actually believe you."
Chuck made a face. "You actually believe me?" he teased.
But this time she didn't giggle or smirk. She just nodded again. "Yeah."
And then she scooted close and folded herself up against him, wrapping herself around him and just holding on tight, burying her face in his neck. He pulled her in closer and squeezed, still wondering at her silence, not exactly sure he believed that she hadn't been offended by his big stupid mouth.
"I'm glad you found the Scuba Shack when you came here. And that it's better than whatever the job was back in D.C. that you had to get away from." She was still quiet as he stroked his hand along her bare back. "This is probably a lot nicer than the stressful work you did over there. Safer, however? Ehhh not so sure." He didn't notice how stiff she'd become in his arms and he held her, burying his face in her hair. "And either way, I bet your old boss has figured out what they're missing with you gone by now. Bet they'd sell their right leg to get you back." He chuckled.
"Maybe," she said, her voice a tad brittle, just enough for him not to notice that, either.
And they stayed that way for a while, just enjoying the comforting quietude between them.
}o{
It wasn't the sun that woke him up—it was still dark out—nor was it the tight grip of strong fingers around his wrists, holding them to the mattress under him.
It was the pressure on his chest that did it. Not a heavy pressure like he couldn't breathe, but enough pressure that he slowly squirmed awake, groaning quietly, wincing tiredly. He blinked his eyes open and looked down to see what the pressure was. There was a body on top of him, a woman…straddling him, sitting right on his chest.
"Mm'wha—?" He looked up to see it was Sarah, sitting on his chest in the dark, leaning over him. "Sar—What's—?" He tried to touch her but he couldn't move his arms. And he looked at his right arm to see she was pinning it up by his head, and as he glanced in the other direction he saw she'd done the same thing with his left arm. "Sarah…What are you…?"
"Sh!" she hissed, and she lowered her face close to his so that she hovered above him nose to nose.
"What's—?"
"I need you to tell me the truth," she said slowly, her voice deep, low, and…dangerous.
"The tr—?"
"The honest to God truth. Please." What in the hell was going on? What was she doing? What truth? "I'm begging you. Please." She paused as he just gaped, shocked and frankly a little freaked out by the way he was just woken up. "Look at me," she demanded, and he did, nodding, gulping. "Answer me truthfully." He nodded again. "Are you or have you ever been with the CIA?"
The CIA?!
"What?! What the—Huh?!"
"Answer me. Honestly. Do I have to ask again?"
"What are y—Sarah, what is this? What the fuck is happening?" he whimpered. "What do you mean, the CIA?"
"Answer the question," she snapped.
"No! I-I mean, no I'm—Why would I be—? Me?! CIA?! No! What is this, Sarah?!" He was actually scared now—the look in her face, the way she'd clenched her jaw, how strong her grip was on him, and how oppressive her weight was on his chest.
And then, just like that, it broke. Her grip loosened, her face softened, and she gaped down at him.
Then came the embarrassed look as she let go of him and scooted down his body to sit in his lap instead of on his chest. She gave his shirt a teasing tug. "Oh. You're—Shit, I thought you'd—I mean, maybe I shouldn't have woken you up like that…"
"Wha?" he breathed, shaking his head as he looked up at her in complete confusion. "What the fuck is this, Sarah?"
She winced, and then he saw a bright blush on her face. "God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I-I overdid it. Maybe I was a little too…convincing…"
He furrowed his brow, still trying to come to grips with what had just happened.
"W—Convincing? What? What was that?"
"Oh my God, I'm really embarrassed." She let out a rough breath and pressed her hand to her forehead. "I thought…" She cursed and shook her head. "I thought it'd be kind of…sexy."
He blinked. "Sexy?" What. Was. Happening?
She looked like she wanted to just sink into a hole in the floor forever. "What you just witnessed was…erm…my attempt—really bad attempt at roleplaying."
Chuck's jaw fell open and he pushed himself to lean up on his elbows. "What?"
"Yeah, maybe I went a little too intense. Especially for the first time. Um. And right when you woke up, too…Oh my God, I can't believe I thought this would be a good idea."
"That was roleplaying?"
What the fuck kind of roleplaying did this woman usually engage in?!
"Well, uh… I don't have much experience doing that sort of thing. I thought you'd…think it was sexy. You know, being woken up and questioned about being…a spy. You're kind of a nerd and I thought you'd…like it. God, I'm so embarrassed. Oh my God."
She was blushing hard as she finally swung herself off of him and just sat there in the bed, covering her face. "I'm so, so sorry. It must've freaked you out. Of course it did. I was…intense! I definitely didn't think this through."
Chuck sat up, his eyes still wide. "Wow, okay. Uh…Well, I mean, yeah. You have a crazy strong grip, you know that?" He rubbed his wrists. They didn't hurt, but he was surprised he could still almost feel her fingers there she'd held on so tight. "I mean, I could not break that."
"You were half-asleep still," she said meekly, shrugging.
She looked mortified, though, absolutely mortified. And now that the reality of what had just happened washed over him, the relief that she hadn't been trying to murder him filled his chest, and then he realized this was actually…both hilarious, and…well, damn he might've been a little dysfunctional, sure, but this was probably the hottest thing a woman had ever done. Or at least…she'd tried it. It bombed hard because she went a bit overboard, and she woke him up for it which just seemed…like a weird choice, but she'd tried it. And he appreciated that a lot.
But he needed to act fast before she grabbed her shoes, overnight bag, and sprinted out of here in complete and utter shame and debilitating mortification.
"Hey! Heyyy…You know what? I seriously appreciate the attempt. I mean, that's—You definitely were a little more intense than fully-asleep-me was prepared for." She winced at him and covered her face again, but he reached over to peel her hands away and forced her to look at him. And then he found he couldn't help but chuckling.
"You laughing at me?" she asked, a pained look on her face.
"At the…situation more than anything," he said, clearing his throat to stifle the chuckle. "For a second, I thought you were gonna…I don't know what I thought, I wasn't fully awake." He narrowed his eyes. "First thing my half-asleep brain went to was that you were a Cylon—Number Six jumping out of my dreams to seduce me and murder me…" He winced. "Should I have said that out loud? Probably not."
Sarah snorted, and then she pushed her hands through her hair and huffed. "I appreciate that you're trying to out-awkward me, Chuck. That's sweet."
That made him laugh, and then he reached over and put a hand on her back, rubbing reassuringly. "Well, I can check this off my bucket list, I guess." She gave him a weirded out look. "I mean, the item that says 'Have a woman wake you up in the middle of the night by roleplaying a terrifying CIA interrogator'. Ssssswip!" He made like he was crossing something off a list in the air in front of him. She gave him a flat look, the blush still on her face. "No? Too soon?" He winced.
"Could you just…do me a favor and pretend it didn't happen? We can just lie back down, go to sleep, and just…pretend like I didn't do something heinously embarrassing. Please. I'm seriously… Just, please." She reached back and squeezed his wrist. "I'm sorry I freaked you out. Trying to be sexy and instead I was terrifying."
"I won't lie to you; it was kind of both." Chuck cleared his throat when she sent him another look that clearly told him to cease and desist. He did so, shaking his head, and then he moved to get comfortable in his bed again. "If you want me to pretend it didn't happen, we can do that. We can go to sleep."
Seemingly appeased, but still very clearly sheepish about the whole thing, she sighed and crawled down to lie against him, letting him tug the covers up over them as she settled with her head on his shoulder, her arm draped over him. He hugged her tight, taking a deep breath.
"So long as you promise not to wake me up roleplaying a clown."
SMACK!
"Ow!"
A/N: MADE YA LOOK!
Please review! Thanks!
-SC