DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS AND PLOTS. I ONLY OWN IZUMI AND ANY OTHER OC.

When you keep hurting someone, you do one of two things. Either you fill them up with hate and they destroy everything around them, or you fill them up with sadness and they destroy themselves.

Nick Lane, In Darkness

Forgiveness

Izumi pulled herself away from Tobirama's arms and turned her back to him, avoiding his face.

"Izumi, I know you're mad and I'm sorry-"

She shook her head. "No. I'm...fine." Standing up, she loosened her fist and turned her head down to look at the silver ring in her hand.

This ring...it symbolized so many things in life. It symbolized love, marriage, bond. All these things, she wished she could have experience. And in a way...she has. She felt the love and the bond of another. And marriage? She felt that when she lived with Tobirama a year ago. But still...she didn't want to stay. She made her choice earlier and nothing would change it.

"Tobirama?" Izumi turned around and looked at him.

"What?"

She walked to him and grabbed his hand, placing both of their rings onto it. "Thank you." Throwing her arms around him, she hugged him as hard as she could. He returned her hug and they stayed like that for a few minutes until Izumi pulled away.

"What was that for?"

She just shook her head and placed her hand on his cheek. Smiling, she stood on her toes and gave him a kiss on his lips. It was a quick and light one, but Tobirama could feel something off about it. When he stared into her eye, it looked back at his with a certain lifelessness that scared him. She never removed her hand and kept it on his cheek.

"You came and tried to save me."

Tried?

"But in the end, I'm sorry."

She's...sorry?

"I do love you Tobirama, but the pain is too much now. I just...can't. So live, live for me."

In a speed that managed to catch him by surprise, Izumi placed her hands and gripped both sides of Tobirama's face to look at him straight in the eyes with her Mangekyō. They swirled and swirled, pulling him into a genjutsu. The last thing he saw before he fell unconscious was a single tear that rolled down Izumi's cheek.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he started falling backwards, but Izumi caught him and gently placed him on the ground.

"Thank you though...Tobirama." Izumi kneeled down and kissed him on his forehead. It was a kiss of goodbye, a kiss of finality. "You have given me happiness, but it was too late." She stood up and walked back to the edge of the cliff. Looking up at the night sky, she saw beauty in the stars and the full moon. So bright...so beautiful.

She is 15, while he is 19. She looks at her oldest brother and she can tell that they are both tired. They both have seen so much death in their time on this earth. "Do you think peace could ever be achieved Madara?" She sees surprise light up in his eyes at her question.

"I honestly don't know Izumi." He answers. "It's a good dream though, having peace." He looks up and stares at the full moon and the stars that light up the night sky. "Peace..."

And she finishes his sentence, because she knows what he thinks. "I guess life is not that easy."

So many years have passed since that night and now look at them. He was dead and Konoha was at war with another village. There was no peace; no matter how close she was to it, she would never be able to obtain it. In fact, she didn't even know if there would ever be such a thing like it.

"Thank you..." Smiling sadly at the sky, Izumi took one last look at the man behind her.

Tobirama was the love of her life and she knew that she'd love him forever, whether death parted them or not because in the end, she knew she'd see him again when Death came for him. She just hoped that when that day came, he would have understood her choice to end her life, and perhaps even forgive her for it.

Smiling, Izumi took a step forward and fell. The last thing she saw was an image of the two loves of her life, Tobirama and Kagami laughing together. And as she fell, the smile she had on her face never disappeared.

Tobirama

His eyes shot open as he finally woke up from the sleeping genjutsu Izumi had cast on him. Sitting up, his hand released the rings that Izumi had given them. "Izumi!" He called out. Tobirama tried to sense for her chakra, but he couldn't find it. Not even a trace of it, showing she used it to run away. His eyes flew to the rings in his hands as he remembered what she had said to him before he had fell unconscious.

She said she had loved him, but that she was sorry. There was no way...right? She wouldn't have…

He quickly looked at the edge, and no matter how hard he believed she wouldn't, Tobirama knew that she had taken her own life. There was an emptiness in him that he knew meant she was...gone. He was too late, too late. He thought that by coming here, he'd be able to save her. He thought that he'd be enough to tip the scale. But he wasn't. That choice he made a year ago was the worst one he ever made and would forever regret it. He did it to protect her, because he thought she'd never want to see him again because of what he did. Never in a million years did he think the outcome of that would be today, to have her gone.

He never wanted this, he never meant for it to end like this.

But when Tobirama looked away he saw on the ground her sweater, the one that she had taken off earlier. He stood up and walked over to it to pick it up, and when he did he saw something wet fall onto it. Another fell and the next thing Tobirama knew, he was screaming and crying into the sweater. It still smelled of her, which made it worse.

He cursed his life and with it, the world.

When Tobirama reached Konoha, he was sure that everyone somehow knew he had failed to bring Izumi back. And when he slowly opened the door to his older brother's house, the first thing that awaited him was Mito. She stood by the door, her stomach swollen with a child that was due any day.

"I was...too late." But she knew, she couldn't feel her friend's chakra. One tear fell from his eyes and another, until they couldn't stop. He was crying at their doorstep and could do nothing about it, even if he wanted too. Mito walked over and drew him into a hug, letting him cry on her shoulder. "It was all my fault, if I hadn't left her she wouldn't have died." He returned Mito's embrace and cried harder. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

But she only shook her head. "She's in a better place now. She's with her family again." His arms only tightened around her. "It was her choice in the end." Pulling away, she looked at Tobirama. "But did you tell her? Did you tell her that you were sorry?"

He nodded his head, but averted his eyes. "But it still wasn't enough."

"Nothing is ever enough for us humans. We're selfish beings that don't seem to care about anybody. Only a few of us actually understand, and she was one of them. She must have known in the end that you loved her, that you never meant to leave."

He just nodded his head and looked behind her, as if he was expecting Hashirama to walk out of a room. "Where is my brother?"

"He's talking to Noizumi. He had to call an emergency meeting because..." Mito didn't have to finish the sentence because they all knew. The former Uchiha Clan Head was now dead, and the new one would have to be chosen because Kagami was still too young to be in charge of a Clan. "Apparently, she made it to where Noizumi would become the new Clan Head of the Uchiha until Kagami is of age."

Tobirama looked back at her. "Where is Kagami?"

"Noizumi's grandmother came and took him back. She said that an Uchiha had no need to be in a Senju Compound."

"...Alright. If you need anything, I will be back at my house."

"Are you sure?" She asked, placing a hand on his arm. "You are welcomed to stay the night."

"Yes. I need...time to myself." Giving Mito a slight bow, Tobirama walked out of the house. And she noticed that not once did he loosen his tight grip on the sweater that must have been Izumi's.

One week later…

A week then passed since Izumi's passing and Hashirama was worried for his younger brother. On the exterior Tobirama acted fine, he acted as if nothing had happened. But Hashirama wouldn't be a good brother if he didn't know when Tobirama was acting, which he was doing. But as much as he wanted to talk to him about it, he had bigger things to worry about.

Like becoming a father.

The risk factor for Mito to have a child was already high because of the Kyūbi being contained, but after a visit to her parents and the seal masters of Uzushiogakure, the risk became even higher. Mito herself was very skilled in seals, in fact she was one of the best in Konoha. But in Uzushio there were people who put her to shame, which she said herself.

But after the visit, Hashirama realized that she wouldn't be able to have their child in Konoha. It would be risking the village if something were to happen to the seal during childbirth, which many of her clansmen worried for. This was why Hashirama needed prepare a place outside of Konoha that was still heavily guarded, because in the end she was the Hokage's wife and a Jinchūriki. Already there was a plan to leave a week before her due date to prepare a place, which Hashirama was currently doing. His brother already promised to fill in the Hokage's seat during his absence.

"Thank again Tobirama for doing this." Hashirama said to his brother.

Tobirama looked up. "It is no problem Brother." Hashirama was practically overwhelmed with what was happening in this past week. He had just lost a close friend, he had to sign new paperwork because of the switch in Clan Head for the Uchiha Clan, his wife was about to go through what could be a life-threatening childbirth, and there were rumors of Kirigakure joining the war between Konoha and Kumo. And not to mention, he needed to watch his brother for anything unusual.

...Izumi, she was one of the few people Hashirama had truly called a friend and would have trusted his life with. To think she was...gone, just like that, was something that he could not come to terms with yet. It still hasn't hit him yet, that she would never come back. That he will never hear her laugh along one of his jokes, or have her scold him for being too childish. No matter how many times he said it in his head, he didn't believe it. Perhaps he never would.

"-rama, Hashirama." Startled out of his thoughts, Hashirama looked up and saw Tobirama staring at him.

"What?"

"I called your name five times. A runner came by and said that your wife needed you."

"Mito?" He asked as he stood up.

Tobirama nodded his head. "Yes. Nothing bad, just something about tomorrow and this following week."

"Ah, I see." His older brother nodded his head before sighing. "Well, can I trust you to finish reading these scrolls for me?"

"Of course." Thanking him, Hashirama left the room. Tobirama picked up the half-read scroll and started reading it. The scroll itself wasn't very interesting, it was basically about financial income of the village. It had fallen since the war began, but that was to be expected and Konoha had been prepared. But something caught his eye, it was a recurring string of words that made him suspicious. It was the words preparation, shift, and attack. The words were never in the same sentence together, but it still felt...important. Perhaps he was being paranoid, but Tobirama could stop thinking about it. He read it over and over until he was pretty sure he would be able to recite the damn thing.

"Damn it!" Throwing the scroll down on the table, it rolled off the edge and landed in the trash can but he didn't care. His head fell onto his hands, his head pounding.

Tobirama couldn't do it, not like this, not when he could barley keep his thoughts together. Before her...end, he was barely sleeping five hours a night. But now, there was only two hours of silence in his house before a scream disrupted it. His dreams were getting worse, they now all included her. He wondered if this was how she felt every single day before she ended it. To make matters worse, he sees her haunting him every day. She's standing by the corners whenever he makes a turn, she's watching him as he sits or eats. She's everywhere, and its making him loose his mind.

But...she told him to live, and that was a promise he intended to keep.

Sighing, Tobirama stood up and went to pick up the scroll when one with the Uchiha symbol stamped onto it caught his eye. Picking that one up, he unfurled it and began reading it. "…No funeral...erasing files...I'm sorry..." With every sentence he read, his blood boiled with anger. That damn Clan, only caring for itself.

Of course, his brother chose this exact moment to return back to the room. "Tobirama, what's gotten you so angry?" Hashirama asked.

"This."

His brother only wasn't even shocked when he saw the scroll Tobirama was showing him. He just sighed and shook his head. "I know. Noizumi had to personally hand that to me because he was scared that someone would try to stop him."

"They don't plan on giving her a funeral? She always cared for her clans well being and this is her reward? They're erasing any existence of her!"

"I can't do anything about it Tobirama, as much as it offends me. How do you think they'd take it if I barged in there and demanded that they not do that? A quarter of that clan already thinks that everyone hates them because I was chosen as the Hokage."

"That and this are two totally separate things-"

Taking the scroll out of his hands, Hashirama pocketed it. "What goes on in that clan stays in that clan. Just like us, we don't let anyone besides a Senju control the clan's affairs."

"But-"

"Tobirama, that is enough!" He shouted out. His tone revealed how angry he was. "We all miss her, and I understand you more. But you need to clear your head, realize that what you are asking of is impossible. They shunned her, do you honestly think they were going to give her a proper farewell? You have to remember that they are one of the main reasons behind her death. No matter how much you complain about how its unfair and how they need to give her a funeral, it won't work."

Tobirama opened his mouth as if to argue more, but he closed it and realized his brother was right. "Sorry."

Hashirama only sighed. "Go home and get some rest. The paperwork can wait until tomorrow."

One year later…

November

Tobirama wakes with a silent scream, the image of his dream clear in his mind.

"It's okay Tobirama, you're fine." His head whirls to his right and he sees Izumi slowly sitting up, her eyes dazed with sleep.

"W-What?"

She tilts her head. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" She gently places her hand on his arm. "Was it your dream again?" But he stays silent, never moving from his position on the bed. But Izumi starts to move and sits on her knees so she can place her hand on his chest, a place where she can feel his heartbeat. "I'll always be here, so don't worry." She kisses his cheek with a smile.

Opening his eyes, he feels a certain wetness streaming down his face. He sat up but this time, the other side of his bed remained cold and empty. There were no soothing words this time to help calm him down. The only things that greeted him was a wet pillow from his tears and the faint touch of her hand on his chest with the warmth of her kiss that still lingered. They both may have been a dream, but they once were a reality.

Looking to the clock in his room, he was shocked to see that he had three hours of sleep. It was the first in weeks. Tobirama threw the blankets off his legs and stood up. There was no point in trying to fall back asleep again, only dreams and the pain that came along with them would be there. Changing into his usual wear, he grabbed a quick bite of rice and cooked salmon from the night before. It may have been three in the morning and the typical person would still be asleep, but not for him. He left his house and walked through the sleeping village to the Hokage Monument, where he climbed up the small hill that led you to the top.

You'd find him standing along the edge of the cliff as he held something in his hands. It was a necklace that had two rings on it, one too small for the man and the other the perfect size. And he'd stand there, just watching the sky until the sun rose. It was rare for him to be back in Konoha, usually you'd find him along the front lines battling enemy-nins. But during his times here, this was where you'd find him.

Tobirama's former students became Chunins about half a year ago, but the only reason was because of the war. The war...he knew something like this was going to happen. Already Konoha and Kumo were fighting a year ago, it was only a matter of time before the other Hidden Villages joined. Kumogakure, Kirigakure, and Iwagakure were the enemies while Sunagakure sided with Konoha. Konoha was thankful, to be honest. They may have been one of the larger and stronger villages but to go against three others? He didn't want to even imagine that outcome.

But when he watched the sunrise no matter where he was at, it always made him feel at peace. "Tobirama." Already sensing his brother's chakra, Tobirama didn't bother turning around to greet him.

"Hashirama."

He stopped next to him. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been fine." Tobirama turned to face his brother. In the few months he hasn't seen Hashirama, he could tell that he was far stressed than before. "How about you? I hear that Tsuna said her first few words."

His brother's face lit up at the mention of his one year old daughter. "She did. You should come visit her, she'll want to meet his Uncle."

He nodded his head. "Sure. I see no problem in that."

"Tobirama..." Hearing the sudden change in tone from Hashirama caused him to frown with worry.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

The older Senju only sighed before turning his head towards the sunrise. "The war is getting worse. I never wanted this to happen, not when I had almost everything I had ever hoped for in my reach."

"I told you Hashirama. You should've never gave away the Bijū like you did. It just caused more tension between us and the other Hidden Villages."

"I meant to do it as a power balance."

"And look at where it led us." Tobirama sighed. "But there's no point in dwelling over past choices. I'll be staying in Konoha for a while this time, so I'll be there to help like I did before everything went to hell."

Hashirama placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "Thank you. You'll be a lot of help."

Later that day…

"Mito." Tobirama greeted the redhead. As promised, he decided to visit his brother's family sometime during the afternoon.

"Tobirama! I haven't seen you in so long!" Mito cried out! She ran to where he stood and give him a hug before she started fussing with him. "How are you? Have you been eating fine? Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Calm down." He placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her. "I'm totally fine. Just a little tired-"

"Mama!" There was suddenly a shout that came from another room.

"Is that…?"

Mito smiled and nodded her head. "Yes!" She motioned for him to follow. "She's gotten so big compared to the last time you saw her."

"Mama!"

"Tsunade, guess who's here!" She went to pick up the blonde baby. She was a friendly baby, so when she saw the man standing behind her mother, the little girl started giggling. "It's Uncle Tobirama."

"Hello Tsuna." Tobirama gave her an awkward smile.

"Hi! I Tsunade!"

"...Oh."

Not expecting that, he looked at Mito and saw a smug look on her face. "I've been teaching her how to greet people and 'hi' happens to be one of the words she remembers."

"That's great." She set down her daughter and watched as the little blonde stagger over to Tobirama. Tsunade looked up at him and he watched as the little girl make faces at him. "You probably don't remember me." He said while kneeling down.

"Ch'kra!" She suddenly shouted out. "Ch'kra!" Pointing at him with a chubby hand, she giggled.

"Chakra?" Tobirama looked up at Mito, confused. Why would she suddenly shout out that word? Did she happen to recognize his chakra? When it came down to chakra sensing, he was sure he knew more than the average. "Do you remember my chakra?"

But it seemed that Tsunade didn't really understand, so she just smiled and kept shouting out chakra. Then suddenly, she threw her small chubby arms around him and hugged him.

Tobirama's eyes widened from the sudden hug, he froze for a few seconds before returning the hug. "Well, you've sure gotten bigger." His niece smiled before running back to her mother. She started jumping with her arms in the air, which Tobirama realized was her way of saying carry me. But when Mito picked her daughter up with a smile that lit up her face, a pang of pain went through him and he soon realized knew why.

It reminded him of Izumi and Kagami.

"Um...Mito?" He called out.

"Yes?"

"How is Kagami lately?" Her face softened with the mention of the young Uchiha.

"Kagami's doing well lately. He still comes by and visits us whenever he can, so that makes both Hashirama and I happy." Tobirama unconsciously smiled as he remembered the little boy. Kagami...just like Izumi, he was different compared to other Uchihas. Sure, the boy may have been young but there was just something about him that screamed different. "You should smile more Tobirama." Her sudden comment brought him out of his thoughts. "We've all had a hard year...but the only thing we can do is smile and live our lives."

Tobirama wanted to shout out that he was trying, but that the war wasn't helping. He wanted to shout out that seeing her in his dreams every night makes it worse. But he also knew that Mito was trying to help, so that was why he pushed down those thoughts to the back of his mind.

She meant well, so he did what she said and forced a small, believable smile onto his face.

One week later…

November 27

She stands in front of his kneeling body, carrying a child with black hair and red eyes—not the red and black of a Sharingan but his red eyes. "Why did you leave us?"

"I never meant to."

"You broke your promise!" She screams out. Her face remains hidden by her hair. "You said you'd never leave!"

"I'm sorry!" He cries out but the moment he did, the baby in her arms starts to wail.

"...This is what could have been." She whispers, trying to calm the baby down. "We could have been a family. I could have been a mother to a child."

"Please, I never meant too." He feels tears stream down his face.

She finally looks up and he sees tears of blood streaming down her white eye and normal, clear tears streaming down the other. "But it doesn't matter anymore, does it?" She takes a step forward, bring her closer to him. "I'm gone—dead, because of you."

He places his hands on the ground so he won't fall face forward into the ground. "Please..."

"It hurts, doesn't it? Knowing that you're the reason."

"Stop..."

He suddenly feels her hand under his chin, making him look up at her. "But in the end, you can't help but love me, right Tobirama? You tell yourself that now that I'm gone, your feelings have changed. But they don't, because they torment you everyday and every night." She smiles, but when he blinks he sees a trail of blood leaving from the side of her mouth. "What were my last words? Live?" She laughs, but one full of darkness. "Such...nonsense. But those words and your devotion to your brother and village stop you from joining me in Hell." Standing up, the baby in her arms quiets down and she looks at it. "If only he was this devoted to us."

At this point, he's sobbing, but he knows her earlier words ring true. "I'm so sorry…Izumi."

Shooting up from his bed, it took Tobirama a few seconds before he realized that what he had just saw was a dream. "Kami..." He rubbed his face before groaning. He knew why that dream happened; it was a cruel way for his subconscious mind to tell him that today was that date. With today, it would be a year since she...died. He got up and changed, but didn't bother eating anything. He didn't feel like eating, if he did he'd probably throw it back up anyways.

Instead of going towards the Hokage Monument, he steeled himself and used his Hiraishin to teleport to where he last saw her. Standing where he was now at the edge of the cliff, it made the pain he was feeling escalate. It hurt—it hurt to breath or to watch as people around him get married and have children. It hurt because he knew that because of his own damn choice, he ruined what would have been a wonderful life. He fully blamed himself because he knew it was his fault, whether his brother said otherwise. And Tobirama knew he'd live with that mistake haunting him for the rest of his life.

Setting down the flowers he brought, he watched as the sun started to rise. He remembered Izumi telling him that she loved seeing the sunrise, that it made her feel...normal. "I hope you are happy now Izumi..." He whispered. "I hope that you are back with your family and friends." He fell onto one knee and soon his other. He sat down on his knees and took of his necklace so he could hold onto their rings. "I miss you, and I do understand you for your choice. I would never blame you for it. I led you to it and no matter how many times I apologize, it won't make up for it. Nothing will."

He had so much to say, but he couldn't put it to words. All these emotions, these feelings that he kept at bay started to leak out of whatever barrier he unconsciously put up. "I've seen so much death in this year alone, whether it be from Konoha or the enemy. I've seen each and every comrade fall for this village and it makes me so angry to know that I won't die. I know my punishment is this, living without you. And I'm sorry." With these words, he remembered his dream from this morning. "But you're right, I try to tell myself that my feelings have changed since you've gone, but they haven't, not at all." His head slumped forward until his chin hit his chest. He felt so...defeated. "I'm so sorry."

Tobirama stayed in that position for only a few minutes when he felt a familiar feeling brush across his back. It was warm, full of love and...forgiveness. He whirled around and met with a gust of warm wind—so different to the cold, November air that he should have felt. "Izumi…?" He called out. Tobirama never got a response, but he knew that that wind...was hers. It made him feel hope for the first time in months, it made him feel like he'd be able to wake up the next day without troubles.

It made him feel as if he was forgiven.

The wind got even stronger and it engulfed him—it made him feel as if he was being embraced by her. He was crying, but his tears weren't from sadness. They were from happiness and for the first time in months, he knew he was truly smiling. "Thank you Izumi..." He cried out. A red lily suddenly floated in front of him, a flower that escaped the bundle that he had brought. His eyes widened before he reached down and picked it up. A red lily, it symbolized love and affection for a loved one. There was only one lily in that bouquet he brought, and to see it in front of him now, made him realize something. Standing up, he took a step forward and another, feeling the best he's felt in months. With ever step he took, he felt an energy that sparked forgotten emotions from him. It made him feel alive, something he hadn't felt in years.

And with another step, the chains that bounded him to the guilt broke, letting him go.

When he disappeared, the flower that he held floated to the ground where he stood, but it didn't stay there for long. With the last of the warm wind, it flew off the edge and soared throughout the air along with the wind until it disappeared, never falling back down to the ground.

A/N: I'M SO SORRY BUT I HAD TO DO IT. IT JUST FELT...RIGHT. I literally shed a few tears while writing this because it means that this story is almost over. Originally, I planned to have you guys choose and some of you probably saw that chapter I had posted for a few hours before I took it down. But after talking with a close friend who also read the story, she managed to change my mind and make me realize that this was my story, so I should ultimately choose what should happen. So please ignore that last chapter because this is the real one. So...sorry again!

Some of you are going to hate me and some of you are probably going to love (?) me. Get over it I guess.

But I have one or two more chapters (depends on how much content is the chapter I write) with Tobirama's P.O.V until his death. And after that, we'll be back to Izumi's P.O.V, but it'll be either during the fight against Orochimaru and Hiruzen in the fist Naruto or the Fourth Shinobi War, I haven't decided on that yet.

Ugh, I don't recommend reading/writing while listening to sad theme musics. God, I was listening to the Fairy Tail sad theme (wrong anime, I know) and Sadness and Sorrow from Naruto. Both were covered by Taylor Davis. She's just wonderful xD

Recommending the Ashes Trilogy by Ilsa J. Beck. I'm pretty sure I haven't recommended this book series yet and let me just tell you that I absolutely love it. This is what got me into the Apocalyptic genre in reading.

SO PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO KNOW YOUR GUYS OPINION. YOU CAN YELL CURSE CRY AT ME BUT JUST PLEASE REVIEW!

So please review and follow/fav. if you haven't already!

Until next time!~

(Also, I know Tsunade was born in August but being the idiot that I am, I didn't even think about it until now so for the sake of this story she's born in November. Thanks!)