A very short chapter today. I mentioned my struggle for this chapter the other night and it has been driving me insane! I hate the way this finally came out but with what has occurred in here finally done and dusted, I can start making progress.
Nightmares weren't the only things that effected how Hermione lived since the war – she fasted occasionally. It wasn't like she set out to fast and she didn't do it for medical reasons – she just didn't eat, as if she was back in a memory where she didn't eat that much in the first place. Hearing what she had first said about the war and her experiences during it, she probably had experienced this.
It didn't happen often however, and Bella wouldn't have noticed if it hadn't been for the piling plate of breakfast that she'd put down in front of her and watched her pick at it, only managing to stomach half a slice of toast. Charlie had given her look and she nodded; she was going to keep an eye on her.
Lunch came around and she only managed half an apple even with all the food that was in their cupboards and fridge. Bella was starting to get worried, even more so when she heard Hermione's stomach rumble. "You need to eat," she insisted when she saw her cousin hunched over a pile of books. "You've barely eaten today and I know that you're hungry. I can hear it." Hermione barely noticed Bella's presence. "Please."
"I'll eat to your heart's consent later but for now, I have to finish this," Hermione replied quietly, her hair falling around her like a curtain and effectively ending the conversation. Bella sighed and tugged on her hair in annoyance, turning backwards before facing forwards multiple times on the spot before shaking her head and leaving the room. She knew a lost cause when she saw one.
#
The nightmares have returned. Just one night of pure torture and now my mind is back there. I know I'm home because I feel safe, I can see that i'm home but i'm not eating. It's like we were on the run again. Bella and Charlie are worried – I can see it when they think i'm not looking but I don't know what to do.
I just feel so lost.
#
"How is she?" Charlie asked, as he returned from work. Bella was sat at the kitchen table, going through her emails and his niece was nowhere to be seen.
"Alive," Bella answered, rubbing her eyes before smiling softly at her father. "She only ate half an apple at lunch, hasn't eaten any snacks and has been up in her room reading all day. It's like she's not here."
His lips formed what could be seen as a smile but there was nothing 'smiley' about it. "We knew it was bad and we knew that she had a big role. She experienced things that she only skimmed over. It clearly affected her more than we thought." They both quietened when they heard her walking down the stairs. "Hey Mione," he greeted and she wandered over to give him a hug. "I'm heading out to Billy's for dinner, you joining?"
"I'm not really hungry," she began to protest but Bella had already picked up her jacket.
"Of course she is," she answered, shooting the witch a look which caused her to nod and take the jacket from Bella. "She'd love to."
#
It seems that they weren't the only ones who were having dinner over at the Black's. The whole pack was there, with the exception of Seth who was on patrol. Charlie shot her Hermione a look when she wasn't looking - surely they could get her to eat.
He hoped there was no flirting between herself and Paul.
#
"What the fuck are you doing up there?" Jake shouted when he saw her sitting in a tree. She started, jumping slightly and almost falling out of the tree which she was perched in. "Mione," he scolded. "Why are you up there?"
"I needed the quiet," she responded, settling back comfortably and opening her book again. "Which you broke you noisy bastard." He snorted and put his hands on his hips, glaring up at her. "What?"
"You're hungry. Get down and eat." She didn't look up from her book and he growled in annoyance, exchanging a look with Charlie who was acting like he knew more than he let on. "Please, for me?"
"I'm not hungry Jake, let it go." He gave her a long look before stalking over to her uncle.
"Why won't she eat?" He demanded.
"She's not hungry," he offered as an answer, exchanging a look with Billy. Jacob became more frustrated. He knew too? "Don't look at me like that kid, it isn't my story to tell. Maybe one day she'll share but for now, let her be. If she doesn't start eating tomorrow then we'll have a problem but i'm letting her have her way for tonight." The werewolf didn't say any more but sat down quietly next to them and picked at his food, talking silently through gestures with Paul who was looking pale and worried.
If he'd been more engrossed with the conversation around him then he would've missed Hermione jumping down from her tree and walking to the food table where she stared at the selection, eyeing the meat with obvious desire before settling on some celery sticks and a bread roll. His jaw dropped with disbelief, listening to his friend's stomach growl from where he was due to his wolf hearing. She blushed lightly, unaware that anyone heard her, but still carried on back to her tree with her extremely small haul.
"I know Jake, I know," Charlie commented, taking a swig of his beer. "She'll be okay though."
#
Jacob couldn't believe his eyes. He'd arrived on his bike early in the morning, hoping to catch Hermione before she was roped into wedding planning to see if she wanted to spend the day with him. When he walked in though, the stubborn woman was eating a feast that would've fed the three residents. By herself.
"Hungry?" He questioned, eyebrow raised and arms crossed as he leant on the door frame. Charlie was getting ready for work and exchanged an eye roll with the boy. "You didn't eat a lot yesterday," he pointed out and her movements slowed. She swallowed and fiddled with a fork before shrugging.
"I wasn't hungry." He snorted and she glared at him. "It isn't any of your business anyway so I'd appreciate it if you shut the hell up." He placed his hands up in the universal sign of surrender and wandered over to the chair opposite her. Charlie called out his goodbye from the front door before leaving and Bella left only minutes later, the beep of a car alerting them to the fact that Edward was outside.
"Just you and me," he offered to the silence that surrounded them and she smiled. "Hang out with me? Please?" She smirked and started packing up the food.
"Jacob Black is begging to spend time with me." She flicked her hair over her shoulder and sighed. "I knew it would happen one day." He chuckled with amusement and she grinned back at him, leaning on the fridge. "What have you got planned?"
#
"No," she refused and he pouted. "Absolutely not." The two of them were standing on top of the lowest cliff whilst the other pack members were sat on the beach cheering them on. Paul was both a mixture of worry and excitement but Jacob could smell his anxiety from where he was. "Why do we have to do this?"
"We don't have to do this-"
"Great, let's go do something else then," she interrupted and abruptly turned around walking towards their bikes. He caught her arm and looked into her eyes.
"What aren't you telling me?" She opened her mouth to respond but he could smell the guilt and the building of a lie. "You can trust me, you know that right?" She nodded and wilted in his arms.
"I've had my fair share of adventure in my life at school and jumping from a height into water is something i'm not comfortable with doing." Her mind flashed back to the dragon and her breakout from Gringotts. She did not enjoy that. The adrenaline rush was amazing. He gave her a calculating glance before nodding.
"It's fine. I should've checked if cliff diving was something you were interested in doing." He let her go and headed towards the bikes, her following close behind. "You'll tell me one day though?" She nodded and pulled on her helmet. That would be a suitable answer for now.
#
There was something about them. The lot of them. Sam, Jared, Seth and Leah, Jacob and Paul. All of them were hiding something from her and she was determined to find it out. Sure, she was hiding something from them but that was completely different because... Okay it wasn't really different but Hermione didn't survive a war because she was okay with people keeping secrets around her, regardless of its relevance with her.
She was going to find it out. Time to study.
#
Boys,
I forgot to ask how your holiday went but seeing as we've been speaking about Auror training recently, I can only imagine it was a short trip or a non-existent one. I hope you've been studying.
Tell mum that I won't be home for at least another month; I'm going to stick around for my cousin's wedding and then get Uncle Charlie ready for the weeks without her when she's on the honeymoon before coming back for a bit. I like it out here, a lot, but there is something fishy going on.
Could you possibly ask Remus to floo me some of his vampire books please? I know almost everything about them but I know i'm missing something and it is driving me insane!
I miss you both so much.
Love, Hermione x
I find myself shocked on a daily basis to how this story is going. I find that it is on my mind almost every second of the day and i'm practically writing chapters in my head but what helps is all of you. Practically every day i receive an email alerting me of a new favourite/follow or review and it astounds me. I'm never one to beg for responses or follows, i'm a girl who can appreciate meeting a milestone, yeah, sure but to get this sort of response without even begging?! I never imagined it. I have almost made 100 favourites - we've made over 200 followers and 100 reviews and coorrrr, i love you all. Thank you.
Pione action will be coming up shortly. Review please.