My heart felt heavy as I heard the weeping of my little girl, Taguhi, from the other room. The day I hoped would never happen, did. I entered the room as I saw my lovely wife hugging the child trying to soothe her pain. Marie gave me a look that spoke volumes, she was just as distraught about it as Taguhi was. I slightly sighed, saddened by the fact that now we would have to tell her that those lowly brats were right. I would have to tell her that Marie and I were not her parents, at least not her biological ones.
I strengthened my resolve, this day had to come sooner or later. I knew someday I would have to destroy the very foundation where she had build her views of the world upon. I calmly and softly called Taguhi over. I caressed her cheek much like I did the first time I laid eyes on her. This time she wasn't a little baby anymore, neither was she chuckling at my touch. Instead, her eyes were filled with tears. I picked her up as she firmly grabbed my neck. it seemed as if she was afraid I would disappear. I was silently walking towards my office, the only sound filling up the halls where those of my sobbing little girl. I gently placed my hand on her head, hoping it will make her feel comforted. I suppose it did because her sobbing lessened.
As we entered my office I asked what was wrong. I knew full well what was wrong; someone burst her bubble prematurely. Still, there was no easy gateway to talk about this to her. I sat her down on one of my couches kneeling on the ground in front of her looking up at her tear filled face as she was trying to answer through her sobs.
She explained to me what had happened. I wished we hadn't taught her to be so poignant with words for I was not prepared for how hard her question would cut into me. "Are you not my father, Da-, Sir?"
She couldn't bring herself to call me Daddy as she normally would, not as long as she wouldn't know the truth about it. I sighed inside trying to calm my slightly bleeding heart because of that comment.
"What do you call a father, Taguhi?" was the question I threw at her. She responded with a confused look, unsure of what I meant with the question. As the break the tension, I grinned slightly: she had stopped crying and her confused look was just too adorable.
"I'll ask it differently. Taguhi, what do you think your father is supposed to do?"
Her expression went from confusion to focus as if she was trying to solve the riddle I threw at her. I waited patiently on the outside while my insides were tearing themselves up. What if she would reject me after all this ordeal? How will we move forward if she would reject me? I stopped my internal questioning as she slowly formulated her answer.
"my father should be there for me." She said with confidence. I was proud of her answer; she had answered it well. "But Taguhi what does that mean?" I asked jokingly confused.
"Are you dumb, dumb? Daddy should protect me from bad guys, make me feel happy when I'm sad, help me with my homework and tell me to go to bed when it's too late even if I don't want to. That's what daddies do!" I had to giggle a little bit, I couldn't have said it better but her slightly infuriated face was just too adorable. All of her expressions are, with the one exception of her crying face... That one just breaks my heart every time. "So if that's what a father does then what would you call me Taguhi?" … It was the moment of truth.
I felt a huge wave of relieve when I saw her jump off of the sofa into me. She tightly hugged me around my neck while quietly saying, "I knew you were my daddy". I returned the hug. A part of me immediately saddened because of the realization, I would still have to tell her that I wasn't her biological father.
I tried to explain it calmly and simply without giving her the "bird and bees talk". I think I succeeded quite well if I do say so myself.
I showed her the pictures we had taken of the trip to Armenia where we met her for the first time. I explained her all the issues we had with the family and how we wanted her more than anything in the world because she is, in Marie's and my eyes, our daughter. I don't know if she was actually listening; she was intently staring at the pictures. After a brief moment of silence she looked up at me: "I've decided, daddy"
"What have you decided, Hun?"
"I'm not a Japanese daughter but I'm gonna be the best daughter in the whole world, that'll show them!" spreading her arms wide to emphasize the word whole.
I picked her up in my arms, this silly girl. She didn't have to try to be the best daughter in the world. She already was.
*sometime later*
It had been a little over a year since I broke the news to Taguhi. Everything has more or less settled down. Except Taguhi tends to now storm into my office every time she finds out something new about Armenia. I swear, I'm becoming an expert on the country thanks to her. Today was no different… she stormed into my office screaming asking if I knew what her name meant, naturally I did, we chose it for her. However, I pretended I didn't for her sake. She was so excited, which was always a delight to see.
She diligently explained how her name would be translated to "queen". She did so by taking one of my velvet sample fabrics and wrapping it around as if it were a like royal cape. I urged her to put the fabric back, trying to contain a foolish laughter because of her antics. As she went to put them back she kept asking me more about the fabric; apparently loving the feel of it when she would touch it.
She did that often, rummage through my samples and randomly ask me a bazillion questions regarding that fabric.
It was and is still one of my most precious memories. This time though a phone call interrupted me. As I went to pick it up, I motioned Taguhi to be quiet by pressing a finger to my lips. She mimicked my move and continued happily rummaging through the samples of fabric rubbing her face against any fabric she deemed soft or nice to the touch.
I silently shook my head and put my focus on the caller. The stranger on the other end was none other than the Hitachiin family. They have been our great friends and clients since the beginning of my family's company. She had been making plans for the future of her own company and her two sons. Seeing how I had a daughter she had been extremely straightforward with the idea of setting one of them up with my sweet little Taguhi.
I was no idiot. I knew why; being connected to our family would provide them a constant resource of fabrics to use for their creations. On the other hand, in a business sense, it would benefit us as well. It would mean that they would be constant revenue for us.
That being said, I didn't like the idea of promising my daughter to anyone. Marie and I got lucky but if I'd have to give up the future of my business in order to achieve Taguhi's happiness, I would gladly do so. Therefore, the arranged marriage was not really an appealing idea. I expressed my doubts about the agreement and instead she gave me a proposition.
Her sons were heading for a retreat where they would learn more about fabric and different cuts and designs. She argued that this retreat would be a brilliant way to let the kids meet and see what may come of it. Not wanting to give an answer without talking it through with my wife, I promised I would take her proposition into consideration and would properly respond to her offer later.
I hung up with a heavy sigh and fixed my gaze upon the little girl I cared soo much for. By now, she had managed to fall asleep on the pile of fabric using them as a make shift blanket and pillow. I slightly puffed some air... out of all the fabrics in that pile she chose the Egyptian cotton and silk the use as her pillow and blanket.
I silently confessed she must really be my daughter while I picked her up and brought her to her bed.
Later that night, before going to bed, I told Marie about the business proposal, she reacted surprisingly positive towards it. Claiming that even if Taguhi wouldn't find her future partner it could be a great opportunity for her to make friends seeing how she had little to none at this current moment. With that, we had settled it. We were going to accept their offer. Taguhi was going to go to the retreat.
