That wasn't a half-bad tournament.
Still half-grinning with the exhilaration of fighting and sometimes winning, I take my helmet off, easing it carefully over my bruised and sweaty head, and stride off through the staging area. My heart is still zinging in my chest, and I keep reliving key moments of the bouts and duels I just took part in. Amazing, how much more I enjoy tournaments, now that I'm not trying to enact any kind of childish revenge, or prove anything to anyone. Cardan's cheers were ringing in my ears the entire time, and that made even defeat seem like fun. Well, more palatable, anyway.
I can still hear the shouts and chatter of the audience as it breaks up after the tournament, but back here in the staging area, a certain peace reigns. Not quiet, by any means: faeries and human knights alike all hurry to and fro, shout commands and questions, and I have to pause more than once to let some kind of steed, equine and otherwise, go by on its way to the stables after the tournament. But no one is trying to attack me anymore. I can relive the contests in peace, and let my body feel the hurt of my bruises, oddly enjoyable.
Taryn would not have found such pain enjoyable.
I sigh, my good mood punctured. It's been seven years. Seven years, and not a single sign. Cardan and I have found nothing, and even Madoc has come up empty. Even Balekin has found not the slightest clue as to what might have happened to my sister. It's as though she really did disappear into thin air. I try to wrestle back my pain, shame and frustration. What did happen to her? And why can't anyone find any sign of her?
Maybe because there is no sign of her, I think abruptly. Maybe because she really is dead.
But somehow, despite everything, I still don't believe that. My certainty persists, pulsing and steady as a heartbeat: Taryn is still alive. Even now, I know: my sister still lives.
Still, that begs the question of how. I've had seven years to think about this, and I've come to the conclusion that her disappearance was unnatural, even by Faerie's standards. It is not normal for someone to just vanish without a single trace, for seven years. It makes me think that some greater power may have been involved. One of the monarchs, perhaps? But why would any faerie monarch care about Taryn, though, unless it was to hold her for ransom? We haven't gotten any ransom demands. So chances are, she's not at a Court.
So who or what might have abducted my sister? One of the sacred beings of Faerie, such as the unicorn or the firebird? But again, why would any of those creatures care about Taryn?
Unless…From what I've heard and researched, the unicorn manifests to women who have suffered injustice. Terrible injustice. I think about Cardan's suspicions regarding Balekin, and my stomach clenches.
Then, somewhat to my relief, voices interrupt my unpleasant reverie.
"…Just foolishness. There is no Lost Heir." It's a mortal knight, talking to a spriggan.
"It's true, I tell you!" The spriggan leaps about in agitation. "I've heard rumors. The Lost Heir's somewhere on the mainland, hidden away, until the time is right…"
I speed up, not wanting to hear any treason, and certainly not wanting to hear any more about the Lost Heir. That's all anyone ever talks about these days. I roll my eyes in disgust. The Lost Heir! A secret child of the Greenbriars, hidden away for years! How foolish can people be? If any of the princes had actually managed to father a child, we all would have heard about it by now. There's no way such a child could stay hidden.
Someone's shouting now about a healer. I ignore them. My armor suddenly seems to weigh much more than it did before, my helmet dragging down my hand, as my mind wanders from the Lost Heir to my lost sister. Where could Taryn have gone? I wonder for the millionth time. What happened to her?
"Lady Healer?" the voice repeats, sounding very surprised.
And suddenly I realize that they're talking to me.
I turn, blinking, and meet the wide eyes of an Unseelie knight. Dulcamara, from the Court of Termites, I realize after a heartbeat. I didn't face her in the bouts, but I heard she trounced all comers. From the look of her, her opponents gave as good as they got: she's sitting under an awning, bruised and bloodied, wings mangled and obviously waiting for the healer to come see her. And she's gaping at me, looking astonished.
"Lady Healer?" she repeats. "Unicorn-Blessed?"
I draw myself up. "You're mistaken," I say. "I'm not any Lady Healer."
She flinches back at the sound of my voice. "Well, that's very strange…" She keeps staring at me, gaping.
"What's so strange about it?" I snap. Her scrutiny is starting to make me uncomfortable, and that's making me angry. "You must see that I'm not a healer, so why do you expect me to be one? And what do you mean by 'Unicorn-Blessed?'"
Dulcamara closes her mouth. Already her astonishment is fading, replaced by a long, hard look of calculation. "Do you have any sisters, Sir Knight?" she asks.
I hesitate, but can't see any danger in answering her. "I have two," I say. "One of them lives on the Ironside."
"And the other?"
I fight my way past the stab of pain. "My twin," I say at last. "My twin sister. I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her in seven years."
"A twin…" She looks more shaken than ever. Her stare sharpens.
"What's the matter?" I snap, patience at an end.
At last she speaks. "Two weeks' sky-journey west from here, there is a valley, ringed by mountains, with a large blue lake in the middle. A river cascades over a cliff to pool in this lake before draining away underground. There a tribe of tree goblins lives, in a treetop village. Others live in this valley too. And that's all I can tell you, I'm afraid. My mouth is bound by oath."
Everything seems to go very slow around me. I can almost track each individual dust particle in the air. I try to catch my breath. An insane hope has crystallized inside me, shining and fragile.
"Do you mean…? Have you seen…?" I can't speak.
"I've told you all I can." Dulcamara waves me away. "Be off with you."
In a daze, I turn. My crazed thought—my wild hope—is still spinning around my mind.
Could it be? Could it possibly be?
There's only one person I want to discuss this with. Gathering myself, I stride off to find Cardan.
It's not easy. Party animal that he is, Cardan could be almost anywhere in a festive crowd like this. I've established that he isn't in the staging area, still in the stands, or cadging snacks from the royal kitchen servants when I hear my name being called and an arm suddenly snatches me around the shoulders.
"Jude!" Cardan hugs me tight and gives me a smacking kiss on the cheek. Off to the side, I see a group of courtiers, scowling resentfully after us. "How glad I am to see you, my darling! You know, you almost did well in the tournament."
I roll my eyes, tossing off his arm. "Charming as ever, faerie-boy. Where have you been? I was looking for you."
"I'm sure you were. Good afternoon, lords and ladies!" Draping his arm around me again, he waves the frustrated-looking courtiers goodbye and steers us swiftly away, losing ourselves in the crowd.
"Cardan, what was that about?" I hiss.
"Another Court faction, trying to interest me in a treasonous plot," he murmurs back. "Great Trees, but some people just do not take no for an answer. They've been really persistent lately."
My ears prick. "Because Eldred…?"
"Yes," he says shortly. "My dear old dad was certainly conspicuous by his absence at the tournament, wasn't he? A lot of people suddenly seem to think they can interest me in becoming their own pet puppet King. Everyone who isn't buzzing around Dain or Balekin, of course." He nods over at another group of courtiers, surrounding a smiling Prince Dain.
"He's certainly gathering his supporters." I can't completely smother the note of censure in my voice. I understand that Cardan's not very ambitious, but can't he muster just a bit of enthusiasm for planning his own future, at least? He's intelligent enough, for Faerie's sake! Can't he see that his own survival might depend on what he does next?
"If that's what it takes, then I'd just as soon wait for the Lost Heir to show up," he grimaces.
I roll my eyes again. "You don't really think there's a Lost Heir, do you?"
"You never know." His eyes twinkle at me. "So what did you want to say to me?"
I look around nervously and draw him into a nearby stand of trees, currently shedding their golden flowers. "Oh, dear, this is starting to seem ominous," Cardan says, brushing petals off his shoulders.
"Shut up and listen," I say tersely, and tell him the whole story of my encounter with Dulcamara.
He listens in silence, all humor fading from his face. When I finish, he says quietly, "So you really think this Dulcamara may have found Taryn?"
"I don't know. There's no way to be sure. But she sure recognized my face from somewhere. She thought I was this 'Lady Healer'. This 'Unicorn-Blessed'. Cardan, do you think…?"
"I don't know." He frowns skeptically. "What would Taryn be doing in an alpine forest with a tribe of tree goblins?"
"Well, we never did figure out how she got off the islands, did we?" When he hesitates further, I sigh in exasperation. "Come on, Cardan, can you think of another explanation?"
He considers this. "No, not really. So, when do we leave?"
"What?" I blink.
"Well, I assumed you wanted to at least check," he says reasonably. He lowers his voice. "And, quite frankly, I'd like to get away from Court. There are altogether too many conspirators for my personal comfort these days."
"Coward." But I deliver the insult absently, my mind racing with his suggestion. Follow Dulcamara's directions. Go check it out for ourselves. My heart speeds up. Could we really do it? And if we did, would we find Taryn?
"We can't tell Madoc," I say at last. "He'd try to stop us, or insist on accompanying us. And then Balekin would get involved."
"That does seem like a bad idea," Cardan agrees. "But if you leave without permission, aren't you holding your superior officer in contempt?"
"Indeed." I give him an innocent smile. "Unless, of course, a Greenbriar prince gives me a direct order."
He sighs, even as his mouth twitches up in a smile. "You only obey me when it suits you, Jude."
"Just so," I say sweetly. "But you just said this suited you, too. So are you going to give the order or not?"
"Oh, very well." He gives an elaborate sigh and straightens. "Jude Duarte, I command you to accompany me on our quest to find your twin sister. All responsibility is mine. Happy now?"
"Very," I purr. I start to move off. "We'd better go get ready."
"Wait." He stops me with one hand on my arm, looking at me with unusual seriousness. "We can't go alone, Jude."
"Well, we can hardly invite anyone else, can we?"
"Yes, we can," he says unexpectedly. "You have two sisters, you know."
It takes a second for me to process his suggestion. When I do, I recoil. "No!"
"Why not? We'll never make it out there on our own, Jude. The mainland's dangerous, especially that far out. You're a mortal and I'm a spoiled fop of a prince. And neither of us has much experience with this sort of thing."
"I've been on training trips to the mainland," I say defiantly.
"Yes, surrounded by faerie knights with centuries of experience," he says impatiently. "We need help, Jude. And Vivienne is the only person we can trust to give it to us."
"It's not like she's so experienced," I mutter mutinously, but, against my will, I'm starting to see Cardan's argument. He's right: I'm a mortal and Cardan's useless. We wouldn't last three days alone on the mainland. We need an extra pair of eyes, an extra pair of hands, at the very least. And better still, someone who can use magic.
Still I hesitate. "I don't want to tell Vivi," I mutter, sounding sullen and childish to my own ears. "She ran out on me. On Taryn. She doesn't care. So why should she come with us to find Taryn?"
Cardan gives me a long look. "When was your last communication with Vivienne, Jude?"
"Last week," I say reluctantly.
"And what did she say?"
"She asked how I was," I mumble. "I told her I was fine."
"And how many times has she communicated with you since she left home?"
"I haven't kept track." I can't meet his gaze. "But she's written to me every week."
"Every week without fail, in fact. That does not strike me as the action of a sister who does not care," Cardan says dryly. "On the contrary, it sounds like she cares very much. And what if we do find Taryn? What if she truly is at the end of this quest, and you didn't tell Vivienne? Would Vivi ever forgive you?"
Silence, broken only by the murmur of the crowd beyond the trees.
"Oh, all right," I growl out at last. He's right: I know he is. But that still doesn't mean I like it. "We'll invite her. But that doesn't mean I forgive her."
"I'd expect no less of you, my Jude." He flashes me a lightning-like grin. "Shall I send her a message tonight?"
"I suppose you'd better," I say grudgingly, and so it's finally settled.
Despite my resentment, I can't suppress the flutter of excitement under my breast, the irrepressible rise of hope, dawning like a sun within my heart.
Taryn, I'm coming.
A few weeks later, on a moonless night, Cardan and I wait in the glow of a conjured fey-light at the western cliffs of Eldred's island, the ocean sighing and shushing at the base. I shift, so keyed up that I can barely stand still. My palms sweat, despite the chill breeze off the water. This is it. We're finally actually doing this.
"Jude, stop dancing around like that," Cardan says. He's in his customary black, but his outfit is far more functional than usual, tough and practical. "You're making me nervous, and it won't make them arrive any faster."
"Yes, Cardan. I know." I give an exasperated sigh. "I can't believe that Heather's coming too. Why didn't Vivi stop her?"
"Well, it's a bit difficult to stop your mortal girlfriend when they've figured out that you're a faerie and have taken all kinds of precautions to stop you from enchanting them," says Cardan, maddeningly reasonable. "At least Vivienne did us the grace of warning us that she was coming."
"She could have snuck off or something," I grouse.
"I doubt Vivienne wishes to risk her girlfriend's displeasure in such a manner, Jude." He straightens suddenly, looking off into the sky. "Ah, here they come."
I squint after him, cursing my poor mortal eyesight. But soon I see them coming: two ragwort steeds, galloping silently through the air, with two riders, coming steadily nearer and nearer, until they swirl above our heads and land softly on the grass.
The pink-haired mortal dismounts with casual assurance, as though she's done this hundreds of times, and waves at us. "Hi! You must be Jude and Cardan."
"Indeed we are," says Cardan, bowing. "And you must be Heather."
"Too right I am." She looks around, bright-eyed with curiosity. "So this is Faerie Land? Nice. Very nice."
"Don't let its good looks fool you." Vivienne dismounts with less grace, and a deep scowl. "It's a hellhole and always has been. Prince Cardan." She gives Cardan a perfunctory curtsy, which he returns with an ironic nod.
Then Vivienne stands before me, scowl fading, suddenly uncertain. "Jude."
"Vivienne." I examine my sister, as she examines me. I haven't seen her in seven years. Seven long years of my anger and her pleading. Seven years of notes back and forth, but not a glimpse of her face, except in photographs she sends with her letters.
She's changed. She still glows with faerie health and beauty, of course, but her face is sadder and graver than it was before, drawn with a new reserve, a new maturity. She's cut her hair, and she wears human clothing. Of course: Vivi has always downplayed her faerie heritage, always wanted to be human, never appreciated what she had, or the opportunities she got that Taryn and I didn't…Rage rises again, and my lip curls.
"Jude." Cardan appears at my side, one hand on my arm. "Jude, don't. Remember why we're all here."
I take a deep breath, letting the anger dissipate. He's right: stewing in rage won't help us find Taryn. On the contrary, it will only make it harder. "I'm glad you came, Vivienne," I say at last.
"I'm glad you asked me," she says quietly. "And I'm sorry, Jude. I'm so sorry that I hurt you."
We stand in silence a moment, all four of us, while the ocean roars beneath us. I take one breath, then another. Vivienne may have abandoned me and Taryn before, but she's here now. She truly is sorry. And I need her. Taryn needs her.
"Apology accepted," I say at last. "We've got all our supplies ready. Shall we head out?"
"You didn't tell Madoc or Oriana I was coming, did you?" Vivienne says quietly as Cardan turns to raise two more ragwort steeds.
"Of course not." I heft up a loaded saddlebag. "They have no idea that you're here, or that we're going in search of Taryn. I did leave a note, though, telling them not to worry."
She checks. "You what?"
I sigh in exasperation. "Look, Vivi, Madoc's spent the last seven years tearing both Faerie and Earth apart looking for Taryn, and Oriana's been really unhappy too. I know you think they don't care about us, or about her, but you're wrong. And I'm not going to make them suffer any more than I have to. All right?"
"All right," she says after a long moment.
"Ragworts are ready!" Cardan sings out. "Are all prepared, or do you two need a few more minutes to work out your sisterly emotions?"
"Right, Cardan." I roll my eyes as I load the saddlebags onto the steeds, then mount up. The other three do as well, Cardan seating himself elegantly in his saddle. Despite his grace, however, there's an odd frown on his face, and he keeps glancing back over his shoulder.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Nothing, perhaps." He frowns over his shoulder again. "Just…Does this strike you as proceeding rather too smoothly?"
"Too smoothly?" Heather asks now.
"We got all our supplies without anyone asking any questions," Cardan explains. "Then we snuck out without the slightest difficulty—without encountering a single person, in fact. And now we're just riding off. This does not seem typical of our paranoid old guardian."
"Nonsense," I say, but my stomach tightens. He's right: we've been as discreet as we can, but surely Madoc or Oriana or Foxfire must have noticed that we were up to something? But they didn't say a single word. And we did have a remarkably easy time sneaking out of the house, loaded down with saddlebags. True, we timed it at the changing of the sentries, but perhaps the sentries took a little more time than usual to change…? And then we didn't encounter a single person, human or faerie, on our walk to the western cliffs. And now we're just riding off.
I push my reservations aside. Even if it is some kind of trap, we still have to go through with this. We have to find Taryn. My heart pulses with pain and yearning. Taryn. I will not abandon you again, my sister.
"Come on," I say. "Even if something is going on, this is our quest. Let's go find Taryn."
"Yes," says Vivienne, smiling for the first time since her arrival. "Let's find her."
And, kicking my ragwort steed, I lead the way into the sky.
