Chapter 5

A/N: Hello hello hello AHHH! So, finally handed in my assignment, which is why I'm writing without feeling overly guilty right now. Also got the results of another assignment from a while back today, and I got another first in it! Two uni assignments down, two firsts, damn, WTF is this, feels like that bit in S4 when Brittany realises she's actually a genius and oh my LORD, I'm just so happy?! Anyway, as mentioned in last chapter, this one is more focusing a bit more on Brittany's perception of what's going on. Kinda did a bit of a diary entry sorta style, because I just thought that was very characteristic of her… regardless, hope you enjoy!

If Brittany had learned one thing about Rory in his time staying at hers, it was that he talked a lot and she couldn't understand most of what he was saying. He probably meant well and all, but it was kind of hard to have a conversation with him.

On this particular day, they were walking home from school together. Brittany's parents worked until five on a Friday and her sister, Stacey, usually had some after school activity on, so she'd had the house to herself. On most Fridays, she'd spent that time with the free house with Santana, and that was kinda what was happening tonight, but not in the same way.

"Is your friend doing okay, Brittany?" the blonde blinked, narrowing her eyes as she tried to focus on words the Irish boy was producing. "I saw what happened at rehearsal yesterday and your mother was saying something about her having to stay here for the weekend last night at dinner, but I don't know anything else. She wasn't at school today, was she?"

Able to understand a fragment of what he'd said, Brittany shook her head sadly and stared at the ground disappearing under her feet.

"No. She's not okay."

She was sure that more would come out, but soon she realised she wasn't. Like she was lost for words or something.

"She will be okay, though, won't she?"

The words chill her to the core. She sighs, looking to the boy with sad, sincere eyes.

"Hopefully. But she isn't right now."

The rest of the walk was in silence, until they eventually made it to the porch of the Pierce family home. Brittany reached into the hanging basket above her, feeling around for the keys she knew were kept in there (because she always forgot hers, and the doormat was too obvious apparently), unlocking the door and walking in. She closed it after Rory, before kicking her sneakers off and dumping her bag by the stairs to be carried up later.

"Santana?" she called up the stairs, unsure where abouts the brunette would be. She was responded to with a call in response from the lounge, which she wandered into, finding Santana walking towards her with a small smile on her face, arms outstretched to hug her. Brittany frowned at how she was still in the same clothes from last night, her hair down and probably unbrushed. She reached in to hug her, relieved as she inhaled the brunette's scent and realised that she was no longer shaking like she had been earlier, which was a good thing.

"Hey."

"Hey," Brittany whispered back. "What have you been doing all day?"

Santana pulled away, her eyes flashing with something for a second - panic, guilt, sadness… she wasn't quite sure what, really - before they moved away back to the floor and she cleared her throat.

"Not much. I watched some TV," she breathed. "How about you?"

Brittany shrugged.

"The usual. It was uneventful."

There was a moment of silence before Brittany pulled her girlfriend close again.

"I missed you today."

"I missed you too."

"Do you want to do anything this afternoon? We usually eat quite late on a Friday, when my dad gets back. We can go out, or watch a movie, or… I don't mind."

Santana shrugged. Her eyes flashed with sadness for a second, but she snapped out of it for a bit. Brittany gave her a quizzical look for a few seconds, but then gave in, disregarding it.

She'd been through hell and back and then back through hell again these past few days. It was probably that.

"Movie. Mamma Mia."

Dear Journal,

I missed Santana at school today. It was strange without her there. Yeah, I had other people to hang with, I had Glee club, but it was hard not having her in Spanish so she could just tell me the answers. I had to sit next to Kurt instead and, well, I'm glad he wants to go into theatre and not become a languages teacher or something because I think he'd even be worse than Mr Schue. I hope he doesn't try and audition for anywhere where he needs to sing in Spanish because I don't think he'd even get a callback.

I'm so scared. Santana is really hurting and I don't know what do to. Whenever she smiles or laughs, her eyes still look sad, like a lost and confused puppy. I don't know whether she's slept too much or not enough, because she has bags under her eyes, and at first I thought it was just her makeup but then she took her makeup off this morning and she still looks bad. She's asleep right now. She fell asleep when we were watching the movie, just before the wedding bit, and it's now half ten. She didn't really want anything to eat, she said, and that's not too much unlike Sanny but the way she said it this time was different. And usually she'll eat something when she's round here, even if it's not much. I don't remember the last time she ate. She didn't last night, and I doubt she would've when I was at school.

Maybe I'll order takeout from Breadstix tomorrow. Maybe that will get her to eat. And Quinn said that she wanted to come over as well, but I haven't told Santana that yet so I'll have to check with her first.

Our first date was at Breadstix. Well… she thought it was her first proper date, but I thought it was, like, our eighth date. But Santana's a straight A student (actually, maybe she's more like a lesbian A student, because she's not straight) and I'm not really, so I'll take her word on that. But still. I want to go on another Breadstix date with her. When she's happy and all this drama isn't going on. Because this drama is more dramatic than Rachel when she doesn't get a solo.

The ad is airing tomorrow. Coach Sue told me that she was going to try and take it down, or do something about it, but she looked unsure. And she told me to be ready. So that's another reason why I want a Breadstix date at home tomorrow, maybe with Quinn and maybe Mercedes and maybe Sugar too, so that we don't have to think about it. Actually, no, maybe Sugar won't be a good idea because she has no filters on another level. I know that I have to tell Santana about the ad tomorrow morning, though, and I don't want to fall asleep right now because the sooner I fall asleep, the sooner tomorrow will come and I don't want tomorrow to come.

I just want for her to be okay, Journal.

I'm tired now. And I'm kind of bored. I miss our sweet lady kisses and I can't really watch a movie incase I wake her up. So… so long, Journal.

A/N: Here's to keeping the Glee fandom alive.