Hey, guys! I'm back! Hope you enjoy this for I sure did!

...

If I stopped looking for him, it was over.

I couldn't see anything. My whole body went numb and I couldn't feel anything below my neck. There was a light unnatural breeze. I was dizzy. But one simple thought was clear in my head – I had to keep going.

With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I stumbled forward. Time made no sense and my vision kept going blurry. I had the feeling something was missing. Pain. Horrible pain that should be there. Horrible pain I had grown used to. Horrible pain that consumed me, that took everything from me and left me to die in the woods of a strange place where nothing matter.

What about Elijah? That little voice in my head asked softly. Elijah mattered, if nothing else did.

"Nessie," I heard him saying - and though in the state I was I knew little - that was a voice I would know anywhere, even distorted, as it was now, with worry. But his recognition had been too late.

I felt a cold hand in my forehead, but everything felt unreal like a dream. What was happening to me?

I was so sure I was dead. I died. I remembered dying. It felt strangely like love. But I wasn't going to be fooled by it. It was death. And it took me.

I remembered the hurt. I remembered tasting the panic in the back of my throat.

The sound of his voice unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of me – a pain that knocked me breathless, astonished me with its force. His name sent a wave of torture through me. I shook my head, frantic, desperate to escape the pain.

And then I woke up.

"Nessie," my mother said carefully. She was sitting in a chair watching me sleep. She had watched me sleep every night since that day. Her eyes were heavy with worry, something I was getting quite used to.

I remembered how the Cullens had appeared in Volterra as soon as Alice saw... Well, it was not healthy for me to go into that, Carlisle had said. He advised me to stay the hell away from the subject if possible. I was doing my best. During the entire day, I was able to keep myself busy, distracted. But at night, in my sleep, the nightmares took control.

I had no seen him in months. He had tried to apologized though both of us knew there weren't enough words in the English language for him to achieve that. Besides, my family had once more intervened and for the first time I was actually glad for it.

The Cullens insisted that Elijah stayed away from me, something that I, in the state that I found myself, hadn't had the strength or the will to frown upon. I didn't want to see him, truth be told, I couldn't look at him without that day coming back to me, without my legs shaking.

Don't get me wrong, even after everything that had happened I didn't think Elijah was evil. Nor did I blame him for anything he had done. That was his nature and I understood that. But I also understood something else.

Love was not stronger than nature - and that hurt to my core.

I was disappointed by our attachment and after several nights of crying in my mother's arm she said something that got through me - you deserve better.

My brain would argue there was no one better than Elijah. And though my whole existence knew that to be true, I understood that was not what my mother had meant. She didn't mean Elijah wasn't good or that he wasn't good enough for me. She only meant I deserved to be with someone I was utterly safe with, someone who wouldn't wake up one morning feeling hungry and accidentally murder me.

And I thought that was a very valid point.

So after days and days of nothing but misery and pain I decided to maybe give myself the chance to get over him - though everything in the universe seemed against that simple idea. The world was a sad collection of miscellaneous and memories of him. I was one hundred percent stuck.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget.

And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain - the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head - but it was manageable. I could live through it. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.

I was proud. I was ready to try. I was ready for new beginnings. So I decided to go out for the first time in months. I knew there wasn't the slightest chance of running into him because Rebekah had come to say goodbye and told me she would be leaving New Orleans and taking her brother with her. That was one less thing to worry about.

Looking back in my life, I often feel like everything that happens to me wasn't my choice. Like it was all premeditated, like fate always steps in to screw with me. So it didn't surprise me when the stranger in the bar leaned over and said, "You look terribly alone," his breath teasingly into my ear, sending tingles through my body. I considered him just another thing that had to happen to me. Something I needed even.

He was younger than I expected but still undeniably handsome. But what really caught my attention was the cheerful smile he gave me, as if he was the happiest man alive, as if nothing could ruin the glee he felt just for being alive. That got to me. I was sadly used to sullen, sulky vampires.

"Not anymore," I answered with a smile of my own. His pale eyes searched my face with interest and somehow I felt comfortable with that.

We sat together and he ordered us drinks. I asked about what he did and he said he wasn't doing anything at the moment. I could see he was amused by my question, though that playful smirk of his seemed to be a permanent thing.

I asked about his family and he said they were all crazy as loons. I felt like I could relate to that. He said his mother was a self-opinionated control freak that didn't allow her children to live their lives. I knew it wasn't fair to my family, but I sort of related to that as well.

After several hours of interesting, funny, long conversations my opinion was formed. The new man in my life was charming, cocky, easy-going and more importantly: human. That was a good change. How I longed for some normality.

As we were about to leave the bar, I realized I hadn't asked him name. Before I was even done speaking, his hand begun caressing half my face, his long fingers tracing down my features before tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

I was so stunned I didn't even pay attention to the images that went through me. I looked into those dark alluring eyes and I instantly knew what I wanted, what I needed to do. The next step seemed very clear to me.

"Call me Kaleb," he said softly right before he kissed me.