4/1/20 Edit: smoothing the flow. Like big time, this chapter needed a lot more work.

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2. The Morning After

Like many other living beings, Sakura disliked having her sleep interrupted. She responded especially poorly when the interruption led to an extended period of drunk babysitting.

Having recently moved to a new building, she was still figuring out which neighbors to hate. Under the fair assumption that the moron who'd woken her up belonged in the building, she'd tossed on a robe and headed down to dispense justice. There she'd found Inuzuka Kiba drooling in the entryway. This was not to be the first surprise of her night.

Sakura had dragged him up the stairs (with an interlude of impressive gastric pyrotechnics) and deadlifted him onto her couch, propping pillows around the fucker to keep him safely on his side. Then she'd returned to the crime scene to clean up, less out of a sense of responsibility than the desire to not smell barf in the stairwell for the next few weeks. After some intensive carpet cleaning, she'd stomped back through her door to hear the dog ninja murmuring drunk nothings to himself. She'd been coaxing water into him and sullenly trying to convince him to go back to sleep when the phone rang. It was Moegi, chipper and only slurring a teeny bit, informing her that Naruto needed her, then hanging up with zero awareness that she'd just sent the medic's heart rate through the roof.

Sakura had honed in on Naruto's chakra with her heart in her throat. Naruto never needed her unless it was bad. Of course, he'd been in much the same state as Kiba had, which was objectively pretty bad. But Sasuke was already there crouching over him, alternating between forcing gulps of water and slapping him awake. Next to them, Shikamaru was propped up stroking his cheeks with a pensive air, Genma wrapped around him like bacon on a date (or some other delicious canapé, ugh, she'd just scrubbed puke, why was she hungry), both fine albeit excessively sloshed.

Sakura had given each of their livers a boost so she didn't feel like she'd totally wasted her time. She'd only had incredibly rude things to say at that point, and say them she did, regaling Sasuke with the tale of how her night had gone so far (spoilers: it was shit). Sasuke had grunted at appropriate times and, in an effort to stay on her good side, committed to taking charge of the remaining intoxicated. Sakura had blessed him with a smacking kiss on top of his head and rushed home to grab what beauty sleep she could.

Now she was watching Kiba toss his cookies for the second time in 24 hours. Oh what a beautiful morning. Sakura bared her teeth at him for form's sake, but was too bushed to exact any further punishment than he'd already caused himself. She set out pain meds, checked her schedule, and stalked back to her room to make herself look professional. On the way, she poked her head into the bathroom to inform her impromptu guest that he had half an hour to get his shit together. One quick Boss-Bitch-no-justu later, Sakura entered the kitchen to find Kiba half in the sink. He looked up at her, dripping from sticking his whole head under the faucet. The color was returning to his face. He flashed her a fanged grin halfway to regular wattage.

Sakura eyed him dubiously. "You'd better not shake off in here. Bad dog."

Kiba smiled a little wider and yapped at her like a Pomeranian, then winced at the strain the joke put on his headache. Sakura snorted at him. It was hard not to be fond of the dummies she knew, much as they delighted in pissing her off.

"Where's Akamaru, by the way?" she asked; an offhand question, considering the four-legged beast was scads more sensible than the two-legged one.

Kiba seemed to agree, wiping water off his face with his hand. "Ditched me before the bar. Probably had a much better time with his bitches."

"I dunno," Sakura said, leaning against the counter all casual-like. "I imagine Big Dick Kiba gets plenty of bitches vying for his… attention."

She expected innuendo back, but Kiba slicked his sopping hair back from his face and fixed her with a miffed look. "How the hell do you know about that? Did Genma put goddamn signs up?"

Sakura kept a tight rein on her smile. "Just a few billboards." Kiba narrowed his eyes at her like he wasn't sure she was kidding, but managed a rueful smile when she laughed. "You told me yourself, dumbass. I was trying to rehydrate you, but you were far more interested in running your mouth."

"I plead extreme duress." Kiba's eyebrows slanted the tiniest bit worried. "What all did I say?"

Sakura pursed her lips. "You were very sorry you weren't sorry about the size of your penis."

Kiba nodded knowingly, brows relaxing. "Classic me. Anything else?"

Sakura completely failed to keep a straight face. "That's about the long and short of it."

Kiba curled a lip in disgust as she cracked up. "A dick pun? I expect better from you, Haruno."

"Come back when it's not ass-early, love muffin, I'm wittier then." She jerked her head at the door and grabbed her bag. Kiba nabbed his jacket and followed, pausing while she locked up before preceding her down. His damp undershirt clung to his broad shoulders. Sakura skimmed an appreciative glance across them, then down his well-muscled back. Purely out of medical interest, you understand. Can't expect someone to control their eyes on so little sleep.

Kiba stopped on the second floor landing. "Dude, great job. Even I can hardly tell I yakked here."

Sakura marched past him with a peevish sigh. Yup, purely medical...

Kiba followed Sakura out the front door of her building and stepped into a positively glorious day. The glory was tempered by mutual grouchiness, as neither the pain meds (Kiba's) nor hastily-chugged coffee (Sakura's) had really kicked in yet. Kiba snuck a sneaky peek at the woman next to him, who was glaring into her bag and muttering something that sounded like fucking sun, what are you so goddamn happy about while she fished around. She found sunglasses and shoved them on her face with a grumbling huff before turning her head his way. "I'd tell you to stay out of trouble, but I know that's a waste of breath."

Kiba looked at her very seriously. "Can't do it. Trouble's my middle name."

Sakura quirked a brow at him. "And here I thought it was 'Shitheel'."

Kiba grinned. "Yeah, that too." She rewarded him with a chuckle as she turned to go. Kiba watched her until she turned down a side street, then gathered his bearings. He was relatively certain Shikamaru had his wallet, so he wandered towards the center of town, trailing the tactician's particular scent blend of deep woods and smoke. He found the man plastered to a bench in the shade outside a little café. Uchiha Sasuke sat on the bench adjacent staring off into space.

Kiba slowed his approach. He didn't dislike Sasuke per se, but something about the guy perpetually rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was all those mission attempts they'd suffered in the past trying to drag Sasuke back to his goddamn senses, or maybe it was the fact that he was an asshole. Flip a coin, you'd be right regardless of what side it landed on.

Okay, maybe he did dislike Sasuke.

The council was partially to blame. Thanks to their intense horniness to keep the Sharingan in Konoha, when Sasuke didn't immediately murder everyone after he came back, they simply elected to impose some rules on him and call it a day. This effectively brushed the whole moonlighting-as-a-missing-nin issue under the rug like it was just a weird puberty thing, and added major insult to all injuries incurred by Konoha's less notorious ninjas over their years of dealing with Uchiha-related bullshit.

For all intents and purposes, Sasuke seemed better adjusted compared to before he left. He put on a good show of being content to live within his boundaries, which spoke to a certain level of maturity, whatever the fuck that was worth. And that was all hunky dory, but Kiba didn't jive with the guy's energy. They were generally on opposite ends of any social gathering, since Kiba loved to shoot the shit and Sasuke's aim was out of whack. But now Sasuke was watching him walk up, question circumscribed in the slant of his brows, and Kiba sensed an incoming attempt at socializing.

Blessedly, Naruto exited the café a second later, a natural-born charm against awkwardness. He was somewhat green around the gills, but brightened when he saw Kiba. He tossed a takeout box at Sasuke and threw his arms wide, shouting "BIG DICK!" to the sky and a few scandalized passersby. Kiba gave him a Look, which was resolutely ignored.

Naruto's grin was bright as the damn sun even when hungover. "What happened to you last night? I know I lost track kinda early, but the rest of us woke up at Bastard's place." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder at Sasuke, as if Kiba needed clarification on which bastard he was referring to.

Kiba shrugged one shoulder, hedging. "Eh, buncha dumb shit, you know how it goes..." He gestured at their little group. "Did Genma die?"

Naruto waved a hand in front of his face. "Nah, but we're too hungover for his shit, so we voted him off the island."

"Yeah, he can't sit with us today," Shikamaru piped in petulantly.

Sasuke had the takeout box open and was already halfway through a giant rice ball when he cleared his throat, directing his gaze at Kiba. "From what I hear, you ended up at Sakura's."

Naruto's jaw fell open as he turned to glare at Sasuke. "What?! You never mentioned THAT." He turned back to Kiba, eyes blazing with accusation. "That's not a bunch of dumb shit at all. What the hell, man!"

Kiba ignored Naruto in favor of returning Sasuke's stare with some consternation (because what the hell, man indeed).

"Sakura got drunk-dialed," the Uchiha informed him, tone edged with contempt. This annoyingly concise statement contextualized the depth of Sakura's earlier rage somewhat.

"Yeah, 'cause Moegi knows she's our healing angel, emphasis on our," Naruto said, waving a hand between him and Sasuke. He pointed at Kiba. "Who let you into this club?"

Kiba tilted his head back, curling his lip a little. "Some healing angel, you still look like shit."

"Sometimes angels are cruel," Sasuke deadpanned. Naruto sighed and wilted pathetically.

"True that," Kiba said, still glad he woke up at the angel's house all things considered. "Anyway, did any of y—"

"Anyway, you were explaining about Sakura-chan." Naruto's brows were low over his eyes. He was worse than a dog with a bone sometimes (Kiba had a lot of experience with this).

"Total coincidence."

"Total bullshit! We know your goddamn tricks! You are an actual horndog." Naruto advanced on him slowly, still aiming a finger at Kiba's chest.

Kiba made a concerted effort to keep his hackles down. He wasn't used to being confronted about where he'd spent the night, and it felt especially stupid in this instance considering he'd spent the night fully-clothed on a couch, no dick out or nothin'. He glared back at Naruto. "I was on the run, dude, all ports in a storm. And you know how fuckin' weird it is you still flip your shit over Sakura-chan? She can handle herself, stop bein' a twat."

Naruto's mouth fell open, but he was cut off by Sasuke saying casually, "Sakura corroborated his story." He stared at Kiba again. "Did I not mention that part either?"

Kiba ground his teeth quietly, wondering if being a dickhole was an inborn Uchiha trait. Naruto watched him with narrowed eyes, clearly still considering doubling down on his twattery. Sasuke chowed down on a second rice ball, watching the pair of them with flat eyes. Shikamaru lay there as if dead.

"Alright, I'll buy it," Naruto said. He let a foxy grin brighten his features back up. "Guess you are a truly humongous dick."

Kiba sneered, but further exchange was interrupted by a wallet thwacking Naruto in the side of the head. A crabby voice sounded from Shikamaru's corpse. "I will pay you all Kiba's money to quiet the fuck down."

"That's not a good look, Forehead."

Sakura roused from where she was slumped against the wall. Ino had snuck into the booth and was watching her, eyes sparkling.

Sakura yawned at her and sat forward. "Lies. I know you like to watch me sleep, you creep."

"It's true. The delicate gloss of drool is my favorite part." Ino held up Sakura's mostly empty coffee cup and waved two fingers at their waitress. Then she put it back down and propped her chin in her hands with an expression Sakura knew all too well. "Sooooo what's this I hear about Kiba spending the night?" Ino's joy was disgusting.

"You can't have heard much," Sakura said, gazing wistfully at the steaming pot heading for their table.

"My source was spotty, I'll admit. So fill me in. Did you get… filled in?" Ino bobbed her eyebrows and grinned. Sakura snorked. Their waitress looked like she also wanted to know, but deposited a mug for Ino, replenished them, and moved off to pretend she wasn't eavesdropping.

"Sorry, ladies," Sakura addressed the assembly, "No filling, just a night of being collateral to the debauchery of others."

Ino pouted. "Well that's a major drag. I thought you finally got laid."

Sakura hummed agreement and sipped, letting her fifth caffeine dose of the day infuse.

Ino stirred cream into her coffee. "This dry spell of yours is untenable. Like, I'm not even going through it, but god, girl…" She took a grave swallow, "This is torture."

Sakura leaned back. "Why, are you starting to feel guilty about telling me how much awesome sex you're having?"

"God no, but it reminds me of when I wasn't having as much awesome sex, which is a real bummer." Ino rested her chin on her hand again. "Besides, we're in a shinobi village chock-full of juicy man meat. Some might even say our cups runneth over with quality dong. There's got to be somebody who can warm your loins."

Sakura gave a hefty sigh. "I've been picking up doubles since Shizune took that delegation to Suna to streamline their medical system. Between that and this new teaching rotation, I'm swamped. Tsunade-sama has a whole new practicum set up." She briefly let go of her lifesaving beverage to massage her scalp with able fingers. "My loins are too busy to lure any man meat. And unlike you, I can't flip my hair and have men slobbering at my feet for a chance to take me out."

Ino eyed her sternly. "That is absolute horseshit and you know it. Dudes would be all over you if you didn't let your thorns grow out too much for them to get close." She swallowed more java, then acknowledged, "That and you have a near impenetrable wall of men already surrounding you. The thorns are overkill, really."

Sakura pursed her lips, as this was a fair point. She was a harsh critic all on her own, but the cloud of male nonsense around her had grown thick over the years. In a way, it was astonishing that any men pursued her at all. Naruto had been protective from Day 1, and Sasuke was very accomplished at looming like dread personified. Sai took special pride in discomfiting new men in her vicinity, Yamato never liked anyone as a matter of principle, and while Kakashi pretended to trust her judgment, she knew he'd made a number of after-hours housecalls "to talk" to new suitors. Naturally, the permanent men in her life had already figured out she loved them too much to actually kill them for their bad behavior, and all the guys they'd driven away had been mediocre at best anyway. Sakura had secretly adopted their gauntlet as her own metric for quality. There was no proof of correlation, but Sakura suspected a worthwhile man would come through with minimal scarring. But that was neither here nor there at the moment, she was busy.

Ino was still mulling. "It'd be so perfect if you could just date one of them, they're already used to roughing each other up." She gazed at nothing, tapping her nails on the tabletop. "You know… Kiba's not exactly one of your boys, but he, like, lives in their neighborhood, so to speak. Why not him?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "You say that like I specifically invited him to sleep on my couch with the purpose of denying myself sex."

Ino winked. "Not to call a spade a spade, but…"

"His booze breath was hard to resist, but what can I say, I'm married to my impossible standards."

"What do your standards say about Dog Boy when he's not smashed?"

Sakura stared into her coffee, pretending she had never thought about this before.

Kiba was similar to Naruto in a number of ways, as both were impetuous and prone to bragging. Inuzuka had a touch more charisma, however, and definitely topped Uzumaki in smooth-talking. Also, having seen both men with their shirts off in recent years, Sakura knew that Kiba's muscular torso stirred up very different feelings in her. Her mind unhelpfully conjured the image of his strong shoulders from that morning, and she shifted in her seat, frowning at the drink in her hands.

There was also the matter of a peculiar thing that had happened when they were 17 involving sake and rain and silly mouths laughing up against each other that Sakura had never told anyone about, especially not Ino. Kiba had acted so normal about it after, it hardly seemed worth mentioning. They'd been young. What better excuse was there for reckless affection?

Ino noted the range of facial expressions Sakura displayed and grinned behind her mug. "No immediate veto? And we know he can take a beating, so that's an overall plus. Sounds like a solid candidate." She tossed her head to readjust a few stray bangs. "Or you can have Daisuke. I'm cutting him loose."

Sakura scoffed, only mildly surprised at this revelation. "And why should I want him if you're dumping him?"

"Well, I'm not dumping him on account of his bedroom skills. Waste not." Ino wiggled her eyebrows again.

"I distinctly remember you saying you were having fun with this one." Sakura punctuated this with a look over the rim of her mug.

"Exactly, fun." Ino shrugged. "Then he got all dopey and serious about me, so out he goes."

Sakura drained her coffee and signaled for more. "They all get dopey and serious about you."

"Yup, and then they all get turfed. It's not like I don't warn them." Ino smiled at their waitress as she arrived with fresh bean juice.

Sakura chuckled, presenting her mug for refill. "Well, it's rare to encounter a land-based siren. Poor guys really have no idea what they're getting into."

Ino leaned on the table. "Fortunately for me, I refuse to be responsible for male foolishness."

"Hear, hear." Sakura said, clunking her mug against Ino's. "So have you been considering your next prospect?"

"Like I need to bother," Ino said, which was accurate considering there were always moths jostling to be burnt by her flame. Then she got thoughtful, pouting her lips a little. "Though you know, the other day Shino came into the flower shop, and he was looking at some pots on the floor, like really inspecting them, so of course I go over to help, and we're talking about what he's looking for, and then he points at something insect-relevant in one of the pots, so I lean over…" She gave Sakura a look. "That man is hiding a godlike jaw behind that stupid collar." Ino sipped her coffee, arching a brow. "Makes me wonder what else he's got in that bulky jacket."

"The mind boggles," Sakura said. "But Shino's a sweetheart, don't go inflicting your feminine wiles on him."

"Aw come on, we could double date! You can seduce Dog Boy and I'll let Shino give me butterflies." Ino fluttered her eyelashes ridiculously.

Sakura chuckled into her coffee. "Kiba is such a Lothario, I'm not sure he'd know how to respond if the tables were turned on him."

Ino nodded sagely. "Doubt he'd take it lying down, but you can probably convince him if you're both naked."

Gray clouds gathered overhead, rumbling with spring rain and matching Kiba's darkening mood. He picked his way through the woods that guarded the back of the Inuzuka compound. He was desperate for a too-hot shower, but also desperate to avoid talking to any of his family members. His window was always unlocked for this exact reason.

He crept into his room and listened carefully at the door. All was quiet, so he stripped off and took his time washing away the night's horrors. Then he slipped on some loose shorts, pulled the curtains, and starfished on the bed. He was asleep in minutes.

Some time later, Kiba's eyes cracked open. Rain was drumming on the roof. Scuffling at the door announced his furry partner, who was long-practiced in opening doors by his own damn self. Akamaru looked far too cheerful for Kiba's taste, so he turned away on his side, closing his eyes again. He heard the door nudge shut, followed by snuffles as his dirty clothes were nosed through.

A rascally grunt. 'Seems you had a busy night.'

"That's a word for it."

The gravelly staccato of Akamaru's laughter grated on his ears. His headache was coming back. He sat up to dig pain killers out of his bedside table.

'Extra glad I skipped it then. Thanks for bringing some smells back for me, you know I like 'em rank.'

"I do it all for you," Kiba muttered, stalking into the bathroom to drink directly from the tap.

'Grouse all you want, you're the one zooming the girls doused in cheap body spray.'

"This one zoomed me, FYI. Not my pick." Kiba flopped back on the bed.

More thoughtful snuffling. 'The other one smells much better. Why'd you give the stinky one an opening?'

"Didn't give any—" Kiba's brain needed more rest. "What other one?"

'The pleasant scent of… oh, that's right, Haruno Sakura. The Fifth's apprentice, top medic, kunoichi extraordinaire…' The dog hummed in mock evaluation. 'I see. Way too good for you.'

Kiba picked his head up to glare at his compadre, whose squinty eyes betrayed amusement. "I'm not in the mood, man."

'Alright, I'll give you shit later then.' Akamaru stretched luxuriously and climbed up to loll against Kiba's side. The warmth was comforting, and his dog's steady breathing sighed counterpoint to the rain as Kiba floated back into dreams.

For the first time in a while, all eleven of them were in the same place at the same time. The brutal summer heat lingered even as the last rays of sunlight faded over the horizon, and they mingled awkwardly under the festival lights until proximity and warm memories broke down the hurriedly constructed trappings of adulthood they clung to.

War was hell, but here they were together, alive and still tender underneath it all.

He tried not to look at her too often. He had other friends to catch up with, but she was sweet and seventeen and still too bright for his heart to ignore.

She was also still waiting for tall, dark, and handsome (asshole). He wanted to hate her for it, but his heart was stubborn and admired her loyalty instead.

The night deepened with the help of simmering thunderheads. A covert sake jug made the rounds. Some brave soul had requisitioned the Fifth's stash. The warmth in their throats pulled laughter from their bellies and they relished in the playfulness, bumping shoulders, cracking jokes.

A too-hard shove started a chase. Everybody scattered, giggling and shouting like children. He ran down an alley, tickled and breathless, and charged straight into her.

The fates smiled, and the heavens opened.

The rain was cool on the back of his neck. He hissed at new bruises, as did she. A nearby yell signaled incoming antics and she jumped to her feet, her smile a beacon in the darkness as she grabbed up the sake she'd brought along. He was weak to the light in her eyes and followed without hesitation.

They dashed into the shadows of a shop entrance in time to avoid being seen and caught in the game with no rules. The rain helped hide them, covered their rapid breathing, and he tried to slow his heart rate in vain as her quiet laughter caressed his ear. She sat, then he, and they passed the jug between them, stifling giggles about absolutely nothing.

She leaned against his arm and he melted into her, telling himself it was the sake, and it was the sake, but also her body heat and her smell, so close, so close!

He was giddy, and he told her so. She looked at him (so close, so close!) and it was summer, but her eyes were spring, and his heart couldn't stand it anymore. They were so close, a storm-kept secret, and in the space of a breath his mouth was on hers.

Her lips burned him straight through, more than the sake had, and he thought he'd never be so lucky again. Then she smiled against him and kissed him back, and his heart stopped from sheer exhilaration.

A new unvoiced game began, loser gets kissed, winner gets kissed more.

Neither liked to lose.

And the rain tumbled down.

Kiba awoke to the pounding of a downpour. He blinked at the ceiling, clenching one hand in dog fur as he tried to reorient himself in reality. Light streamed across his bed from the open doorway. Hana stood there watching him.

"Merr?" Kiba said astutely.

Hana crossed her arms over her unwieldy belly. "Just checking on you. I always worry when you're too quiet."

Kiba released a jaw-cracking yawn. "Alright, Mom."

"Damn straight," Hana said. She padded into the room and sniffed at his laundry pile. "Have fun with the boys?"

'Not as much fun as he had with the girls,' Akamaru grumbled, stretching out a little more on his side.

Sometimes Kiba hated having no secrets. He sat up, rubbing his hands over his face irritably. "You can smell the bar on my clothes just like you'd be able to smell sex on 'em. Do you? No, so lay off."

Akamaru huffed out a laugh. There was just enough light in the room to show the questioning tilt of Hana's mouth as she stared at him.

Kiba dropped his hands and bared his teeth at his sister. "What, is it a fuckin' surprise I wasn't all horned up after being slut-shamed by my own goddamn family?"

Hana shrugged at him. "I just asked how your night was."

"It sucked. Think I'll become a monk." Kiba flopped down again and put his back to the furry heater encroaching on his space.

His sister clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Alas, is the end of days come so soon?"

"Yup. Handing in my penis tomorrow, it's nothing but trouble," Kiba growled, shoving an arm under his pillow. He grimaced at the wall, willing her to leave.

"Think I'll stay home then," Hana said, "Avoid the riots."

Kiba threw a pillow at her.

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