4/1/20 Edit: smoothing the flow.

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3. Just Friends

It was a week later and Kiba was once again waking up to shooting pain, this time in his left foot. The rogue takedown mission had been a great success, if one overlooked the team having to chase a few jerks who slipped the leash after the initial strike. This added a couple days to their projected timeline, as those fuckers had clearly been training for a marathon when they weren't busy causing mayhem and property damage. And Kiba hauled ass with the best of them, but really, slipping on loose gravel could happen to anybody.

He rotated the foot experimentally, which turned out to be a bad idea, and cursed to himself as he disentangled it from the sheets. He rested his mangled limb on the bulk of Akamaru next to him, who farted quietly in sympathy.

Someone knocked on the door. Kiba inhaled damp earth and a hint of cinnamon: Shino.

"Kiba. It's Shino. May I come in."

Kiba stared dull annoyance at the ceiling. "Who?"

"Shino. Your teammate."

Kiba ground his palms into his eyeballs. "Oh, that Shino… of course you can come in, dumbass."

Shino did so, shutting the door behind him. Kiba didn't bother getting up.

"I take it you had a good mission."

" 's alright."

Shino nodded gravely. Kiba waited for further pronouncement. None came forth. He lifted his head the tiniest amount to look at his friend. "You here for a reason, or just hangin' out?"

Shino stepped around to Kiba's side of the bed and perched at the end, back irritatingly straight. "I am just hanging out."

Kiba closed his eyes again. "Mm. Carry on then."

The silence grew long and prosperous.

At length, Shino interrupted Kiba's drowsing. "Hana let me in the house. Your clan is celebrating something today. I know because they are gathering at the gate and very excited. I asked Hana about it. She said your great aunt is arriving for a visit."

"Hmm." Kiba was unaware of this, but he'd gotten back from his mission in the wee hours. It's not like anybody told him anything around here anyway.

Shino carried on thinking about bug facts, or whatever it was he did when he sat in silence. Kiba drifted, sluggish and mildly vexed. He wanted to go back to sleep for real. He'd been having a sexy dream before his damn foot woke him up.

This super fun hang time was interrupted by his mother's fist battering the door. "Get your clothes on and your ass outside!" Kiba aimed a tired middle finger at the door. Shino tutted his disapproval. Kiba ignored him in favor of limping to the dresser to pull out some pants.

Shino reached back to give Akamaru a few steady pats. "I suppose your aunt is here."

"Whoop-di-friggin'-do."

"You don't like your aunt."

Kiba's foot was not cooperating in his efforts to clothe. He limped back to his bed to sit and put on his pants like an invalid. "Don't know 'er. Grab me a shirt."

Shino obliged, rummaging in the dresser as Kiba stood on his good leg and zipped up. Shino held a shirt out to him like a butler, nodding at his foot. "You should get that looked at."

Kiba gave his friend a face that said duh, then jiggled the bed as he yanked the shirt over his head. "Can you give me a ride, bud?"

Akamaru yawned acquiescence and thudded onto the hardwood, padding over to let Kiba saddle up. The three of them headed out to the yard, and Kiba felt himself once more the subject of curious glances as many dark eyes flashed between him and the road. A carriage was approaching the compound, glossy black trimmed with burgundy, pulled by a large ox.

"The king deigns to join us at last," Tsume said, eyes still on the carriage as Akamaru trotted Kiba over. Kiba's temper seethed once he realized that comment was directed at him, but Shino was keeping pace and jabbed him with a patient elbow. It hardly mattered, since his mother could smell sass. She turned her sharp gaze on him. "Behave." Kiba forcefully exhaled his urge to lash back. It wasn't worth the fallout.

The carriage pulled into the yard and off-loaded a spick-and-span old woman. Her gray hair was twisted in an elegant up-do, and the understated kimono she wore oozed I paid a lot of money to look this plain. The woman raised a graceful hand at a few people in greeting, then strode up to Tsume with arms extended, crying out, "My dear, it has been far too long!" She grabbed Tsume's face and scanned it with discerning eyes. "The years have been kind, child. But your branch always did have excellent genes. Now then, I believe this good-looking boy astride the hound is yours?" Keen eyes turned on Kiba, and the old woman gave him a gallant smile. "He could be a mirror image of you, Tsume dear. If you were a strapping young man, of course!" She cackled at her own lame humor.

His mother's glare was scalding. "He'd be more strapping if he stood up to greet people properly."

"Got a bum foot, Ma. Ran down some motherfu- er, miscreants on my mission." Kiba pulled a word Shino loved to use. No cussing in front of company.

"Blunt. Refreshing! An admirable quality in young handsome men." The old woman's eyes sparkled. She put a calming hand on Tsume's arm. "I take no offense, dear. Let us retire inside and get reacquainted, then we can settle down to the task at hand."

Hana had tea and fancy cakes waiting for them in the living room, which was a good deal cleaner than the last time Kiba had seen it. Hana gave the old woman as polite a bow as she could over her belly and served everyone, Shino included, though Kiba was unsure why he was still there. The old woman took an appreciative mouthful of tea, then turned her whole body towards Kiba, who had been steered onto the couch next to her by his mother's unyielding hand. She briefly scrutinized Shino holding up the wall behind them, collar down to drink his own tea, and nodded her regard.

"And he even has winsome friends… That bodes well for securing a winsome match." Her shrewd eyes settled back on Kiba, who started to sweat like a whore in church. The old woman's smile took on an odd gleam, and she sat back with a business-like air. "You may call me Auntie Hachiko, my dear. Now, I hear you are somewhat of a wild young buck, yes?"

Kiba didn't know what kind of answer she was looking for and shoved a bite of cake in his mouth. He heard his mother's growl, but pretended he didn't. Auntie Hachiko chortled.

"Oh, your mother was the same way at your age, mounting any hot-blooded stud that took her fancy and riding him off to kingdom come!" She said with a simper. Kiba shared a discreet gross-out look with his sister. Tsume quaffed tea, unembarrassed. Auntie Hachiko continued, fluttering a hand as if to dispel any concerns like flies. "It is not a problem. I encourage you to continue, in fact. I find virility is best sustained by frequent rehearsal."

Kiba now downright hated the direction this was going. He'd pondered what old-school protocol might mean in the absence of anyone giving him a real answer. This situation was taking a dismal shape. Perspiration trickled between his shoulder blades and he fidgeted. The old woman talked on in spite of his discomfort. "I have a special skill with this type of match. We Inuzuka are not traditionalists, but you would be surprised how many fine women are amenable to a marriage that includes sexual freedom."

MARRIAGE flared in Kiba's head in brilliant neon. He'd required binge drinking and violence to process the baby concept. None of those things were in immediate reach, and he choked on air. Shino stepped forward and whacked him on the back while he sputtered.

"I am the finest matchmaker for a reason, you know." Auntie Hachiko finished her spiel with aplomb, sniffing primly and sipping her tea like Kiba wasn't having a coronary right next to her.

As she drained her cup, the old lady gestured for him to stand. Shock made him docile and Kiba did so, leaning heavily on the arm of the couch, a faint rushing in his ears. She also stood, beckoning him to lean down with a kind old lady smile. Kiba's heart thumped with nerves, but she simply ran wrinkled fingers through his hair, murmuring about its thickness. Then she turned his head from side to side, eyes bright and humming approval, as Kiba had no bad angles.

Then she shoved her hands in his mouth. Kiba reared back, but the woman had a solid hold on his molars.

"Excellent teeth! Very comely fangs, just like your mother. A good and strong jaw as well. Good size of tongue. Ladies like a good tongue to be sure, my dear!" The old woman removed her hands and wiped his saliva on a napkin from his helpful mother, then proceeded to run her palms over his limbs, grasping muscles ("Exceptional tone, dear, you do take care with your physique"), pulling at his shirt to check the skin on his torso, crouching to examine his legs ("Strong, strong, you are quite a specimen!"). Kiba should have seen her next angle coming, but was frankly still stunned from the hands-in-mouth thing and not paying attention. So when spindly fingers firmly squeezed his junk, he jumped a mile, landing on his bad foot amidst a litany of swearing already in progress.

Auntie Hachiko straightened back up, smiling like a cat that got the canary and then sniped all the birds in the yard. "That certainly seems more than satisfactory. I cannot imagine you have had any complaints, my dear. Ah, more tea, I think?" She sat daintily back on the couch as if she hadn't just groped a man more than forty years her junior in front of his family. Hana coughed in a way that sounded an awful lot like laughing and rose to refill the old woman's cup. Kiba clenched his teeth as fury lanced up his spine because what the fucking fuck.

"I must be thorough, you understand. The ladies also must know what they are getting!" Auntie Hachiko gazed at him with an arch smile. "Would you like to discuss your preferences for matches?"

"I need… to go to the hospital." Kiba managed to grind the words out of his throat. Akamaru appeared at his side.

"Ah yes, you must heal your foot, of course!" The old woman waved him towards the door. "I would like to have a look at your gait when you are better."

His goddamned clan was so concerned with his long-term stud potential that they'd brought this woman in to quite literally measure him like a show dog and put him through his paces. Kiba saw red.

He didn't come out of his rage-induced black-out until they were safely away from the compound. Akamaru was bearing him along, a reliable steed, and the hospital was coming into view ahead.

Shino's low voice came from his right. "That was interesting."

Kiba made a strangled sound and clenched his fingers in Akamaru's scruff. Akamaru grumbled and picked up the pace.

Shino did all the talking when they got to the front desk. Kiba was oblivious to the receptionist's coquettish tone as she tried to get his attention with some bullshit paperwork. Shino took charge of the clipboard in his complaisant way, since Kiba couldn't be trusted not to bite heads off yet.

Something pleasant wafted through the lobby, summer fields and honeysuckle, lightly tinted with antiseptic. The smell cut through Kiba's temper like a hot knife through butter and his head jerked around. And of course it was Sakura strolling down the hall, rattling something off to the nurse keeping step beside her while scarfing large bites of a protein bar. Kiba swallowed, feeling a little warm all of a sudden. Green eyes swept over his face, kicking his pulse up a few notches, and he swallowed again. The warmth was making him thirsty.

Sakura trailed off in her account as she took in their motley crew. The nurse beside her flicked her eyes up momentarily, pen still moving. "Who are they, doctor?"

"Walk-ins, by the look of it," Sakura said. "Can we pick this up again later?" The nurse bowed, and Sakura approached the desk, stuffing the last of her protein bar in her mouth. "I'll take them, Noriko."

"Oh look. It's Sakura," Shino observed. And Kiba looked, because he liked looking at Sakura and needed little urging to do so in this moment. Akamaru wagged his tail like a madman.

The receptionist seemed surprised. "Isn't your shift over, Doctor Haruno?"

Sakura gave her a sunny smile. "It's okay, I know these guys. They get special privileges." Then she turned her smile on Kiba and said, "So what brings you in?"

Kiba abruptly forgot what words were. Sakura watched him for a moment in mute question, then addressed Shino. "Brain damage?"

Shino was solemn. "He hurt his foot."

Sakura grabbed Kiba's chart from the receptionist and headed down the hall to an examination room. "Highly lethal."

Kiba managed to croak out, "It's a mission injury, you fucks."

Shino's amusement was tangible. "He's having a rough day."

Sakura nodded absently, skimming the chart. "He's also due for his biannual physical for ANBU. Good timing, I love efficiency."

Sakura entered the room first and held the door open for them. Shino lowered himself into the friends-and-family chair. Kiba hoisted himself off Akamaru and onto the exam table. His canine partner plodded over to lean against Shino's knees, grinning as he panted.

"I'll deal with the foot first, unless there are any objections," Sakura said, pulling out the extension at the end of the table.

Kiba reclined onto his back, stretching his legs out. Sakura pushed up his pant leg and removed the shoe from his injured foot with gentle hands. He grit his teeth the tiniest bit when his shoe tugged coming off, but made no sound. Her eyes flickered to his face and along his tense jaw, then back. She moved his foot around carefully, muttering about swelling, then pressed chakra in to assess from the inside. Kiba lay his head back. It had been a while since he'd felt the swirl of her energy, years. It made him think of streams gushing with winter snowmelt, mingled as always with the vibrant green undercurrent that was uniquely hers.

"Textbook rolled ankle," Sakura pronounced after a minute. "I can heal the ligaments, which technically fixes it, but you'll need to stay off it as much as possible for 24 hours. I'll wrap it up to keep it stable and flush out the remaining swelling."

"Three cheers for chakra healing," Kiba intoned as she closed her eyes and commenced her chakra micro-surgery. It was more uncomfortable than painful, but he still took the opportunity to breathe deeply and distract himself with her scent. At this intimate range, new notes infused the warm grass and flower sweetness, a luscious bloom of spice that made Kiba's heart race. A vision of Sakura hovering over him wearing only a lab coat appeared unbidden, and he bit his lip severely, wondering if maybe he needed to focus on something else.

Shino spoke up. "Your aunt will have to wait to watch you walk."

This comment was highly effective at forcing blood to his face instead. Sakura wouldn't have understood it, but she was close enough to feel Kiba's anger ratchet back up. She slid her supporting hand further up his calf and massaged calming chakra into the muscle. He relaxed, breathing out through his nose. She continued healing micro tears and launched into small talk. "So your aunt has come to visit?"

Kiba tensed up again, not wanting to even try and explain to her. She pumped more soothing energy into his system in response and said, "I'm with you, family visiting always stresses me out. It's like, I'm busy enough, but now I have to make a casserole for this cousin who never shuts up about how he used to hold me down and fart on me when we were kids? Hard pass."

Shino spoke again. "Your cousin sounds very rude."

"Indeed." Sakura opened her eyes as she withdrew her chakra and winked at Kiba, whose heart stuttered. She noticed that his lip was bleeding and reached up to graze over it with a delicate spark of chakra that he felt all the way to his toes. Then she pulled an elastic bandage out of a drawer, well-practiced hands swaddling his newly-fixed ankle with remarkable speed. She kept her eyes on task, pressing her lips together as she worked. Kiba kept his eyes on her lovely face, and wished she'd press her lips on his instead. His hot blood was rushing around again.

"There, all done!" Sakura gave his ankle dressing a final squeeze of benediction and moved off to scribble notes in his chart. He sat up slowly, raking her figure with his gaze.

"Weren't you gonna give me a physical?"

Surely she was imagining the insinuation in his tone. Or maybe it was wishful thinking. I NEED TO GET LAID. This is ridiculous. Her pen creaked and she relaxed her grip with effort.

"Two in one day. Bad luck, but I think you will enjoy this one more." Shino's voice was wicked.

Sakura heard the table creak as Kiba made to hop off, but she was close enough to spin and catch his shoulder. She was surprised to see him baring his teeth, eyes boring into his friend with menace, and he had the nerve to snarl at her as she shoved him back down. Sakura hit him with her patented try it, dipshit sneer, then directed her attention to Shino. "You can kill each other later. Wait outside please."

Akamaru followed Shino out with a raspy groan directed at his human, who glared at him. Sakura pushed the door shut behind them with her foot before releasing her iron grip. She crossed her arms and fixed Kiba with a stern look. "I don't know what's going on, but if you fuck your foot up this quickly after healing, so help me, I'll send you home with ice to convalesce like a normal person."

It was her strongest threat for workaholic shinobi, and Kiba's shoulders lowered as intended. Sakura pulled a hospital gown out of a cabinet and tossed it at him, pulling the privacy curtain across. "You know the drill."

She stared at the ceiling idly until the rustling behind the curtain stopped, then waited for a prompt to approach. Kiba saved her the trouble and pulled the curtain back himself, revealing an expanse of tanned skin interrupted only by the ANBU tattoo on his shoulder and a fetching pair of boxer briefs. He gave her a cocky grin and settled back on the exam table, making a point of being cautious with his bandaged foot.

Sakura blinked as her brain stalled, and she laughed weakly. "You're supposed to put the gown on, dummy."

"Just gets in the way. No point." Kiba was watching her, eyes alight. "And I actually wore underwear today, so."

"That you did…" Sakura's eyes meandered down the deliciously defined chest and abs, brushing over the deep indent of a scar, tracing the cut Adonis belt down to where it disappeared into the aforementioned underwear. She was a fan of boxer briefs on an athletic man, and these did not disappoint. They garnished his powerful thighs, attractively snug. She caught herself before her gaze could flit over his crotch, but looked back up like an idiot.

Kiba's eyes caught hers, smile stretching wide on his stupid handsome face, and she wanted to pull her head inside her body. For shame, she was a professional. Professionals were reserved and objective. Professionals did not eye-fuck their patients.

Gods sakes, woman.

"Alrighty!" Her hands clenched on the chart like it was a life preserver. Sakura could feel his gaze like a touch and knew her face was rapidly matching her hair. She rolled her shoulders back, adjusting her posture. "Let's get on with it. Have you had any new health developments?"

"Nah."

Sakura nodded and moved to the next queries. "Let's see, job: jounin and special operative. Relationships: daily."

"Hoo, you tryin' to zing me, Doc?" Kiba's fangs turned his smile impish.

"It's important to be honest on medical documents, sir." Sakura put on her most somber doctor face and eyed him. Kiba's jaw dropped slightly, expression shifting to faux-scandalized. They stared at each other until Sakura snort-laughed. Kiba chuckled along, and Sakura let the mirth take her tension. She was being stupid.

Because this was Kiba. It was Kiba, and they were just friends. He was in his underwear, and he was attractive, and they could still make dumb jokes together because they were just friends.

Satisfied she'd circumvented her jerk brain, Sakura traded the chart for a blood pressure cuff and stepped closer to her good friend to wrap the cuff around his tastefully sculpted bicep goddamn it GODDAMN IT. Kiba flicked his eyes up and smacked her with another devastating smile. He could probably smell the sweat that was starting to creep out of her skin. She almost wished he was barfing again so she'd have something gross to focus on.

His blood pressure was fine. Great. Hers was somewhere in the stratosphere, but she wasn't the patient. Good. She noted it, then went ahead and ticked off all the visual checks since she'd given him a thorough once-over already (conclusion: also fine, so fine). Sakura whipped her scope out quick in the hope that a nice ear canal would be unsexy enough to douse her libido. What a time for her vibrator to break.

She filled the warm silence with small talk. "We haven't caught up in a while. How are things?"

Kiba grimaced as she inspected his ears. "Tryin' to impress the higher-ups enough t—", he jolted in discomfort as her scope assaulted his nostrils, "—to make squad captain." He narrowed his eyes at her as she ejected the disposable specula. "Hell, Doc, buy a guy dinner first."

Sakura was unable to stop the crooked smile this comment induced. She aimed the scope light at his black eyes. His elongated pupils were sharp, feral, evaluating. Her heart thumped and she swallowed, saying quietly, "Tongue out."

Kiba did as she commanded, still looking at her (she was right in front of his face, how could he not). Sakura swallowed again and dropped the scope back in her pocket, readying her stethoscope. She wrapped her hand around the chest piece and pressed it into him like a priest trying to exorcise demons, only the demons were in her own head, and they were trying to tempt her into sexy things instead of killing people.

He sucked in a breath—she'd forgotten to warm the chest piece. "Oop, sorry," she muttered, staring at the wall behind him to concentrate on his heartbeat. It was strong, as all his muscles seemed to be (I said down girl). She shifted the chest piece to listen to his lungs. "So, captain… That'll be quite the achievement."

"Eventually." His tone went husky. "What've you been up to? You keep skippin' happy hour." Sakura felt his gaze again as she replaced the stethoscope around her neck, and met it briefly.

"Oh, this and that…" She moved to check his lymph nodes, fingers massaging under his jaw. A purr rumbled through her hands.

"That feels good." Kiba's voice was enticingly liquid. She kept her eyes on his throat, ignoring the shiver trying to claw up her spine, and made a mad dash for her small talk safe zone.

"I'm trying to get back into mission rotation, actually. I've been doing a lot of teaching over the past year, which is great, but I need a change. Hopefully Tsunade-sama agrees." Sakura cleared her throat. "On your back please."

Kiba arched a brow at her and she almost swallowed her tongue. She turned away and coughed violently. As she regained her composure, she heard him say, "Knew it. You wanted to have your way with me all along." His superior tone pricked her temper, but the wound was forgotten when she looked up. He'd stretched out on his left side and propped himself up with that elbow, other arm resting on top of his bent right knee as he angled himself towards her, looking for all the world like an underwear model ready for his close-up.

Sakura felt her jaw loosen. Her wide eyes slid up to Kiba's face. He wiggled his eyebrows at her and dangled his tongue obscenely. She cracked and had to lean on the exam table to hold herself up as she belly-laughed. It wasn't that funny, but she was kind of losing her marbles here. She met his laughing gaze again and shook her head at him, then pushed him flat, mashing a hand into his abdomen a little more roughly than was standard. His grin floated in her peripheral vision.

"Be good to get another medic out there." His tone went gruff, from the discomfort of her prodding his organs, she imagined. "Pulverizin' guts."

"Our specialty," Sakura stated seriously, then patted his tummy to signal that she was done. "Feels like you'll hold together for another six months." She noticed Kiba's skin felt very hot under her hands and quickly stepped away to cool off with the supremely un-arousing activity of charting. Technically she was supposed to ask if he'd noticed anything off about his testicles, but refused to risk this turning into an actual porno situation. There was a solid chance he would just flash her for the joke and Sakura was wavering dangerously.

"Alright, we're done here. Go by the lab on your way out for the urine test and blood work, then you're free to go," she said, scribbling and silently screaming at herself.

Kiba was rustling back into his clothes. "So, guess I'll be seein' you around more if you're gettin' back on the roster."

She fell for it—he'd cued her to look back at him just as he was easing his pants up over his hips. She flicked her eyes to his face, helpless. That damn smile spread across his face, and the slow drag of his zipper was loud in the small space between them. Then he turned to the exam table and treated her to a lovely show of his back flexing as he pulled his mesh undershirt on. Her gaze followed the hem as it came to rest over an appetizing backside before she yanked her eyes back into her head and got back to denting the chart with her furious writing.

She sensed him move to the door and open it. Out the corner of her eye, she saw his figure turn back towards her. "Thanks for the check-up, Doc." His tone was insultingly sensuous. Then he was gone. She immediately dropped the chart and smacked her head into her hands, resolving to track Ino down as soon as she was off shift. That girl always had good info on where to find a spare penis for the needy.

She gathered herself and exited the exam room, resolutely ignoring the foolish pounding of her heart. It was the result of too much caffeine, that's all.

She'd let him get away with it. He'd seen Naruto get pasted for so much less.

Kiba hadn't meant to take it beyond his Chippendale impression, a little jab at her for manhandling him onto the table, just wanting to throw her off her game. His underwear had done a serviceable job of that. Then she'd reacted in a way he hadn't expected.

Kiba had known that Sakura was over Sasuke for a while. She'd dated off and on over the years of his absence, but always men that were very evident placeholders. Everyone took for granted that Sasuke's return would preface Sakura's ever after, happy or otherwise.

When Sasuke had finally waltzed back into the village, he was ostensibly penitent for being such an adolescent prick. He was also still shitty. Of course, both Naruto and Sakura had welcomed him back with open arms, but first lavished him with beatings, which took him down a few pegs. Sasuke had opted to cover his embarrassment with rudeness. This gave rise to a generally perplexing phenomenon. Every nasty comment Sasuke made within earshot of Sakura resulted in her smacking him upside the head. This was a privilege previously only bestowed on Naruto, and sometimes Sai. Needless to say, it became clear that the energy between them had changed.

While this was an interesting development, Kiba had been up to his knees in one-night stands at that point. He'd been disinclined to change, mostly because he'd also been disinclined to be a passing fancy, as he'd presumed all Sakura's other dudes had been. Also, ultimately Sakura was a very dear friend, whatever else Kiba might have been feeling. Deep down, he'd been terrified she would scorn him, so he'd put away heated thoughts about pink hair and pink lips and other pink things he wasn't allowed to touch. Better friends than nothing, right?

...Only then he'd ended up at her apartment by pure chance. And then he'd dreamed about her. And then he'd dreamed about her some more. And then he'd taken a fresh hit of her scent, so his dreams were about to get really fucking interesting, emphasis on the fucking.

And she'd gotten his blood up, so he'd teased her. Then she'd frisked him with those vivid green eyes, flushed like a summer peach, and teased him back. His flirt mode had engaged in earnest at that point, which split the focus from his concurrent goal of not getting a boner (a challenge that would definitely end with him as a stain on the ground awaiting the janitor's mop if he failed). But he'd kept her off-kilter, made her laugh. The reverse striptease had been a risky decision but paid off spectacularly. However, this chain of events only served to force the question: now what?

The kisses at seventeen had been an isolated incident. Kiba had taken their snow-globe moment for what it was, a snapshot of rapture. He'd prayed time, maybe more distance would starve his heart of the rosy warmth it clung to. This hadn't worked. The memory of her lips haunted him. He was so haunted he almost walked right by his posse.

"That did not take as long as I thought it would." Shino undid his casual lean against the wall. Akamaru stood and shook himself in preparation for more transport duty. Kiba nodded, earlier anger supplanted by moderate turmoil.

Shino observed him for a moment. "I see that your mood has been much improved by a liberal application of Sakura. I had a prediction this would be so, but I was not aware quite how effective it would be."

Kiba's irritation came filtering back as he narrowed his eyes at his friend. He couldn't see much of Shino's expression as per usual, but the man smelled like mischief.

"I can see that you still seem to be going through some inner conflict." Shino lifted his head just enough to reveal the upturned corners of his mouth behind his collar. "You should tell me more details, because we are friends and that is what friends do."

Kiba considered refusing this reasonable request until his brain reminded him that his friend was the lesser of the evils in his life at the moment.

"I gotta go piss in a cup and get stabbed in the lab." He fixed Shino with a reluctant look. "I'll exchange info in return for asylum. No way in hell I'm sleepin' at my house tonight with that old bitch in residence." Kiba froze, dismayed. "Aw shitballs. What if she stays forever? I'll have to move."

.

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Who else didn't know that those disposable otoscope caps were called specula, show of hands. Just me?

Wanted to call Sasuke Prick Prickly in the last bit, a la Stick Stickly from Nickelodeon, but figured the reference wouldn't pan out.

The next chapter will feature Tsunade as: still the Hokage and Neji as: still alive.

Also thanks for reading, y'all.