5/1/20 Edit: smoothed the top section a little

Accidentally wrote two chapters for the price of one. Realized after posting that it'd be better split, so apologies to anyone who gets double-pinged. Sorry about the title, I'm going for gold in the Stupid Pun Olympics ('cause Sakura's a flower, get it, get i— alright, I'll leave). Happy Quarantine everybody.

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6. Petal to the Metal

She could just kill him. She would kill him.

Sakura was seething, flat on her back in the middle of the war zone she'd created just moments before. She'd apologize to Yamato later, as the training ground keepers would no doubt have to call him in to replace the large swath of trees she'd plowed up. But he would probably be proud of her for channeling her fury into the undergrowth instead of actually committing murder.

Sakura rolled and threw herself into the deepest pit she'd punched into existence, landing meters below in the damp dark. She slammed her fists into the closest wall of dirt, no chakra needed. Her unadulterated rage left deep gouges in the earth. Eventually she collapsed forward, shoulders singing with effort. She pressed her forehead and fingers into the dark soil, letting Mother Earth soothe her and ground her energy.

The nerve, the absolute NERVE of that asshole Casanova… Where the hell did Kiba get off acting like that? It wasn't going to be with her, that's for goddamn sure. This was multiple levels above the exam room tease. This was unconscionable. There was nothing wrong with a dog whose tail wagged for nearly everyone, but just because the dog could be really sweet sometimes didn't mean you needed to allow it to tongue-kiss you at random. And dragging her into some weird family shit was another matter entirely. Sakura was largely unaware of Inuzuka clan happenings, knowing only that Kiba was the heir. She was relatively certain, however, that this status didn't give him the right to commandeer unsuspecting women into fake relationships.

She was furious with Kiba, but more furious with herself. After all, she knew exactly what kind of behavior to expect from him and her dumb ass got swept up in it just the same. She knew as well as anybody that tigers can't change their stripes, and Kiba's stripes clearly spelled out 'womanizer'. Yet she'd willfully covered her eyes and opened her mouth for another taste of that sweet, sweet shame. Was she really so weak under the burden of attraction? At least when she was seventeen, she could blame her stupid choices on being a teenager.

Sakura dropped down onto her butt in the mud and chewed her lip as her mind churned. The last time she'd felt anything close to this, it had been about Sasuke when they were twelve. Suffice to say, her overall thoughts about the situation had been significantly more innocent than they were currently. She and Kiba hadn't done more than kiss on a café patio, but the sensations generated by that kiss were more R-rated than public affection had any right to be. Sakura's brain emphasized this point by recalling Kiba's face up close to hers in high definition.

The memory bloomed four-dimensional as she felt his lips again, his tongue curling against hers, his hands branding her body through her clothes. Sakura groaned loudly and drove her fist into the ground beside her. Mud squelched around her knuckles, but did nothing to affect the heat that shivered through her body. She hated it, hated him for making her tingle from mere remembrance.

How dare he smile at her like that? How dare he kiss her like that! Sure, she'd given him a dose of his own medicine, but played herself just as hard because she'd wanted to kiss him again. Sakura found herself recalling a distant Tsunade lecture about how medicine dosed incorrectly was just another form of poisoning and scowled.

Ain't that the goddamn truth.

On replay, she also realized that Kiba had used basically the same line as Sougen about liking things rough, but boy-howdy did it hit different coming out of Kiba's mouth. Sougen's covetousness had been a warm ocean breeze ghosting sensual promises over her skin. Kiba was a tropical storm, drenching her with desire and liquid heat between her legs… Goddamn, she was so sexually frustrated right now.

Sakura stretched out on her back, staring at the crack of sky far above. Why her?

Shortly after escaping Auntie Hachiko's presence, Kiba had likewise hurled himself into training, and for two full days he'd pushed his body as hard as it could stand. Not the smartest idea with a recent injury, but sometimes distraction was a cruel mistress. In the evenings, he'd taken advantage of best friend squatter's rights and helped himself to the absent Shino's apartment. He'd been trying not to think about Sakura too much, but now that he'd had a taste his penis was making it impossibly hard not to. Thus it happened that when Shino returned from his own mission, he walked in to find Kiba plastered to the couch whackin' it (which he'd also spent the last two days doing).

"Oops," Shino said, immediately backing into the hall and shutting the door again. But a beat later, he came back in. "Wait, this is my house."

Kiba had taken that second of privacy to shove his dick back in his sweatpants, only mildly shamed. "You weren't here."

Shino gazed at him over his sunglasses. "You are very considerate. Our friendship is very special to me too." He dropped his gear and moved to a chair adjacent to the couch Kiba had profaned to gather his thoughts. Then he said, "So you have been busy since I was last home."

Kiba rolled his eyes with a grimace. "Beatin' my cock like it owes me money? Yeah."

Shino raised his brows a minute amount to ask a silent why. Kiba glared at Shino's coffee table. Shino was well-versed in Kiba's surly moods and waited for him to elaborate with infinite patience. Kiba dug his fingers into his skull like he was trying to bore holes through it, and decided it was probably best to just out with it.

"Kissed Sakura. Shit got complicated," he grumbled. Shino continued to sit in silence, since he was after more than a concise summary of events. Kiba exhaled loudly and tilted sideways onto the couch, rolling to his back and putting an arm over his eyes. He'd just been caught masturbating but it was talking about romantic mishaps that flustered him. Gods, he was a douchebag. Kiba clenched his teeth and fought through the discomfort of confronting his own stupidity. "Auntie Bitchface showed up and things got outta hand."

Shino rustled a tad, but said nothing. Kiba continued to address Shino's ceiling. "Told her Sakura was my girl." He gripped a fistful of couch cushion, not unlike how Sakura had gripped his thigh when he'd said that same thing to Hachiko. "Also told her we were serious. Bitchface spouted off about breeding partners."

Shino hummed quietly and took a minute to process this information. "The issue is becoming clear. Your aunt solicited Sakura's womb. I suppose it is likely that Sakura did not appreciate this and that the conversation was embarrassing for both of you."

"Embarrassing? Naw, Sakura's fuckin' pissed." Sometimes Kiba wished Shino would just read between the damn lines. "Her lettin' me stick my tongue down her throat doesn't change the fact that I fuckin' used her."

Shino hummed again, relaxing back in his chair as he said, "And yet I can see that your face is still intact. I think this bodes well with regard to Sakura's deeper feelings about you."

Kiba bared his teeth at nothing, and also at everything. "Deeper feelings? Shit, I'm only alive 'cause she didn't want a witness to see her put a fork through my goddamn throat, do the fuckin' math."

Shino's voice remained irritatingly calm. "I think if Sakura had truly wanted to bludgeon you for your transgression, your aunt's presence would not have stopped her." He shifted in his seat. "There must be something you are still not explaining. I know because your distress is unprecedented for something as commonplace as pissing Sakura off."

Kiba growled his frustration as he sat up, snarling his fingers through his hair. "I'm distressed 'cause she fuckin' kissed me, man."

Shino stared at him over his sunglasses again. "You told me that already."

This confession thing was starting to be a real pain in the ass. Kiba dropped his head onto the back of the couch, scowling at the ceiling. "Naw man, after all my dumb bullshit. She kissed me back."

Shino stared at him a minute longer, then sighed, taking his glasses off to rub his face. "So let me see if I am understanding. You kiss Sakura with dubious consent. Your aunt finds you. You misrepresent your relationship with Sakura. Then Sakura kisses you?" Shino preferred to state things like he was all-knowing, so Kiba took a bit of pride in the fact that this was enough of a conundrum to drive him to change the inflection of his words. Shino massaged his face a few moments longer, then propped an elbow on the arm of his chair, leaning his chin into his palm. "And you have been masturbating ever since."

Kiba gave a terse shrug. "Pretty much."

Shino sighed again, sounding like he'd aged fifty years in the last three seconds. "You are my friend and I care about you a great deal, but I feel I must say that you make quite literally zero fucking sense."

Kiba picked up his head and looked at him.

Shino continued. "All you have told me only proves my original point about Sakura's feelings for you. People do not kiss people they hate. People kiss people they like. Sakura kissed you, therefore Sakura likes you. If I remember correctly, this was exactly what you were wanting to happen in the first place." Shino's tone made evident the unspoken you stupid prick. "The only problem I can detect is that rather than pursuing this woman you share mutual interest with, you have chosen to sequester in my apartment and copulate with your hand."

Kiba's scowl darkened. "The fuckin' problem is I got no idea how to smooth shit over with her."

Shino stared back at him evenly. "So the problem is that you do not know how to apologize."

Kiba threw a hand up and dropped his head back again. "What kind of fucking apology would you give? They don't exactly make 'Sorry I lied and now my aunt wants me to knock you up, wanna date?' cards."

A few quiet minutes floated by before Shino spoke again. "I suppose an apology is too simple. Flowers also seem somewhat inappropriate."

Kiba snorted irritably. "Feels that way."

Shino rubbed his chin in grave consideration. "This is a quandary."

"Of the highest fucking order, dude," Kiba grunted, collapsing back on his side.

Shino hummed agreement. "It is possible that Sakura's lady friends might have some helpful solutions to offer. You should consider discussing the matter with them. I am willing to offer my assistance with this."

Kiba thought about this for a moment, then shot his friend a look and a dirty grin. "You still sniffin' after Ino?"

"Sniffing people is solidly your department," Shino said. He swiveled his gaze away with a dignified air. "And if you in fact mean to imply that I am stalking her, then you would also be wrong."

Kiba scoffed, rolling his eyes back up to the ceiling. "My bad. You still gathering information, fuckhead?"

"Yes, because it is best to have adequate information before proceeding," Shino intoned seriously. "Also, it takes one to know one, and my head is a great deal less fucked than yours seems to be."

Kiba glowered at the ceiling. With ass-hat friends like this, it's no wonder he was such a fucking idiot.

Sakura was puttering around her office at the hospital when Ino descended.

"Oh my god, what are you doing, the party started FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO," she screeched, snatching the color-coordinated folders out of Sakura's hands and tossing them onto her desk with reckless abandon.

"Organization is important," Sakura groused, slapping her hand down on a folder that threatened to slide onto the floor.

Ino eyed her with disdain. "You have interns for that kind of shit. And Spring Fling waits for no man."

Sakura returned her stare, brows surly. "May I point out that you're the one who declared we needed to be fashionably late to begin with?"

Ino put her hands on her hips. "Uh, may I point out that there's a limited window of time in which fashionable lateness is still fashionable? You were supposed to be ready for hair and makeup when I got here."

Sakura sank into her desk chair and scrubbed her fingers over her scalp. "I don't know if I have the energy for it this year."

This was a lie. She had indeed been working as much as possible, but anger tends to get in the way of productivity, so Sakura had been spending at least half her time glaring into space. She still hadn't figured out a reasonable approach to dealing with the Kiba predicament, which was the real reason she wanted to skip out on the Yamanaka's annual rager. Confrontation was almost inevitable.

Ino's brows lowered dangerously as she pointed an authoritative finger. "That's too bad, because you're going to this party whether you like it or not. And you will have fun, whether you like it or not."

Sakura jutted her chin out, freshening her glare. "What are you, the fun police?"

Ino squared up with her, crossing her arms. "You're goddamn right, and you are in serious violation, missy. Them's some hefty fines if you don't pull the stick out of your ass."

Sakura sagged back against her chair, shifting her glare to her desk. "There's nothing up my ass, I'm just… tired," she finished lamely.

"You can be tired when you're dead or whatever," Ino said, grabbing her hand and pulling her up.

"Uh…" was all Sakura managed as she was dragged out of her office and down the hall to the cut-rate beauty salon Ino had set up in the staff locker room.

"Bienvenue, mademoiselle. Now get your ass in the shower so we can get you gussied up." Ino smacked Sakura's backside and sat on a bench to rifle through her makeup bag. Sakura grumbled, but reluctantly followed orders. After washing up, she lingered under the hot water for a few extra minutes in an attempt to soothe the tension out of her shoulders. It didn't work. Sakura sighed and wrapped herself in a towel and approached her friend to accept her beauteous fate.

Ino glanced up and tutted at her. "Stand up straight, girl! Show off that gorgeous long neck. Hunching like that does nothing for it or your breasts." She handed Sakura the outfit she'd picked out, a stretchy mini dress that hugged Sakura's dainty curves on top and fluttered down to mid-thigh.

"Who says I want to show either of those off…" Sakura muttered as she dropped her towel, mostly to herself. Ino heard it anyway.

"Because it's Spring Fling and you'll be a vision in yellow. Suck it up, buttercup," Ino said, studying Sakura as she slipped on underwear and pulled the dress over her head. "What's up with you? Intern crush giving you the cold shoulder?"

"It's not a fucking intern," Sakura snapped without thinking. Ino's brows shot up into her hairline.

"Oh? And who is it, hmmm?" Sakura elected to look at the mirror instead of at the terrible and glorious light glimmering in her friend's eyes. Ino's voice was rich with triumph. "Ooooh, I knew you were holding out on me."

Sakura smoothed the straps of her dress, glowering at her reflecton. "It is nobody."

"Ho-ho, nobody… Nobody must be someone incredibly shameful." Ino stepped over to dust a bit of blush over Sakura's cheeks, then handed over her designated mascara.

Sakura applied the mascara listlessly. She could feel the pressure of a shit-storm brewing. Nothing major, just enough of a shitty downpour to bring all the worms out. Ino traded her a sheer lipstick for the mascara. "Come on, if you won't tell me who it is, at least tell me what the hell he's doing that's got you so wound up."

Ino was giving her an out, and Sakura had been yearning to offload some stress, so she relented with a deep sigh. "Well, he's a playboy-type. And that's neither here nor there, but recently he reacted oddly when another guy hit on me in front of him, which was unexpected. Then the last time we saw each other, he kissed me."

Ino's scream caused a few passing nurses to dash into the locker room in a panic. She waved them off, grabbing Sakura by the arms. "Why don't you tell me these things sooner?!" Ino threw her hands up in the air and shimmied a little. "Ow OW, this dry spell's about to get wet."

"Unlikely. His motives were questionable," Sakura said, turning back to her reflection and smearing lipstick on her sullen mouth. She caught Ino's inquiring head tilt in the mirror and elaborated. "He used me as an… alibi of sorts."

Ino was perceptive as ever. "What, did he pull you into the old fake girlfriend ruse to get some other chick to leave him alone?"

Sakura grimaced. "Yeah, something like that."

"Hmm..." Ino stepped up and spritzed a little product on her hair, running a brush through it gently.

Sakura eyed her in the mirror. "No comment?"

Ino was quiet as she tousled Sakura's short locks with practiced hands. Then she returned her gaze, eyes thoughtful. "Do you like him?"

Sakura was powerless to stop the heat flooding her cheeks. "I thought you'd call him a scumbag, but you want to know if I like him?"

"He's obviously a scumbag and you have to make him pay for that, but if you like the scumbag, there are better ways to get revenge than just punching his lights out." Ino tossed her golden ponytail and inspected Sakura's face. "Annnnd that blush looks like a big fat yes."

"I…" Sakura's attempted denial stuck in her throat. She swallowed angrily. Her stupid feelings needed to take a hike.

Ino gasped suddenly and clutched Sakura's shoulders, eyes wide in the mirror. "Oh my god, is he going to be at the party?"

Sakura's miserable expression answered for her. A fiendishly savage smile contorted Ino's beautiful face. "This calls for Fuck Me pumps."

Spring Fling was a tradition started way back in the day by the Yamanaka patriarch, ostensibly to celebrate the change in seasons; the reality was that Inoichi had wanted to party and a bumper crop at his family's flower shop had given him the tenuous excuse to do so. Over the years, the guest list had grown from just his and his teammates' families to pretty much anyone who wanted to show up. It was a popular event, as ninja folk needed very little urging to cut loose.

Things were already in full swing by the time Kiba and Shino arrived. The hall was filled with obscenely large flower arrangements. The rafters were strung with lush garlands, intertwined with twinkling lights. Kiba couldn't see or smell Sakura, but his sense of smell was going to be pretty useless considering the size of the crowd, not to mention the flowers fucking everywhere. He kept his eyes open as he trailed Shino around the perimeter of the writhing dance floor.

Shino led him to the other side of the large hall, and they strolled out the back to the explosively floral patio space. Neji and Shikamaru were out there sharing a deck chair, and Neji was already smashed. Shikamaru looked like he wasn't far off, but then, he always kind of looked like that. He watched their approach with hazy eyes and swept an arm out like a king. "Welcome, my dudes. What's good?"

Neji started giggling beside him, because this was the funniest thing anyone had ever said. Kiba almost felt compelled to go slam some shots and get on their level, but he had more pressing matters to take care of for once. No way he was getting tanked before attempting to make nice with Sakura. Apropos of nothing, Shino said, "I will be right back", and weaved his way into the crowd. Kiba watched him go with some confusion until he was yanked down to sprawl across an unwieldy cushion of legs. Neji pulled him into a sloppy embrace, mumbling "Kibaaaa" as he squished their cheeks together. Shikamaru adjusted Kiba's limbs over his lap, nodding slowly at this scintillating proclamation.

Up close, the Nara smelled much less boozy than Neji did, so Kiba directed his what the fuck eyebrows at him as he suffered a bout of nuzzling. Evidently the Hyuuga was very affectionate when wasted. Shikamaru cracked a wry smile. "My dad drafted us into a drinking game."

"Which one?" Kiba asked through a mouthful of Neji's hair.

"The one where you get really drunk."

"A classic." Kiba scanned the pulsating crowd again.

"We wonnnnnn," Neji said, nestling his head against Kiba's neck.

"Had a feelin'," Kiba murmured, tracking any flash of pink the crowd revealed. It was a flower-themed spring bash, so there were many. He patted Neji's head absently, frowning. A quick exhalation of laughter drew his eyes back to Shikamaru, who was observing him with narrowed eyes. The tactician's brain was sharp even when he was liquored up, not that it took a genius to figure out what Kiba was likely to be looking for on a night like tonight. Kiba frowned, wondering if this was a shitty assumption for Shikamaru to make or if he was really just that predictable.

"Where'sh the lucky lady?" Neji slurred as he dug his chin into Kiba's shoulder, picking up what Shikamaru left unsaid. Kiba scowled at the crowd. But before he could descend fully into being self-righteously pissed off, Sakura appeared before him like magic.

She didn't notice him, which gave him plenty of time to drink her in. In that short dress and criminally sexy stilettos, she looked like she'd stepped directly out of one of his dreams, dreams that had been exclusively sex-oriented since they'd kissed. Kiba's throat went desert dry. His pants were feeling tight again, and he needed meditation skills, like, yesterday. Kiba licked his lips, clamping his hand on Neji's shin as he muttered hoarsely, "Teach me how to breathe, dude."

Neji picked his head up and stared at him. Shikamaru's brain shifted up through the gears faster and he followed Kiba's gaze, brows raising a sliver as he too observed Sakura. Then he turned those penetrating eyes back on Kiba again, mouth spreading in a slow tiger smile. Neji's brain continued to lag. He blinked owlishly as he mumbled, "You are already breathing" in Kiba's ear like it was a secret, then followed this announcement with a hissed "you dumbasssssssss" as he dropped his head back onto Kiba's shoulder.

A few minutes prior to this, Sakura had entered the party likewise searching the mass of faces. Everything was beautiful, but Sakura was too preoccupied to be dazzled. Her eyes darted around, but she didn't see any red tattoos or damnably attractive fangs. Whether this was a good thing or not remained unclear. Part of her wanted to see Kiba, hash that kiss business out with him ASAP. Part of her didn't. A third part just wanted to deck him and be done with it. Sakura didn't have much time to contemplate her options, however, as Naruto spotted her and came barreling off the dance floor. He swept her up into a sweaty hug, then put her back down so fast her head rocked.

"Wowza! You look gorgeous, gorgeous," he said with an exuberant wink. Sasuke appeared over his shoulder and scanned her outfit critically, mild disapproval filtering over his expression. Sakura rolled her eyes at the both of them. Sometimes they acted out two sides of a dad. Naruto was the doting father, while Sasuke embodied the father who was about to strongly suggest she go upstairs and change because she wasn't leaving the house looking like that, and no backtalk, young lady.

"Yes, she most certainly does," Ino said, stepping up next to them and narrowing her eyes at Sasuke, who ignored her, now inspecting Sakura's extremely high heels. A gleeful cry turned everyone's heads toward Inoichi Yamanaka. He was stumbling their way with arms spread wide, full of party spirit and alcohol spirits alike. Ino's head fell back in the pose of long-suffering, and she dragged Sakura behind her onto the dance floor. They threaded the needle between two competing conga lines in attempted escape and cleared the crowd on the other side of the hall.

Ino peered behind them with a grimace, and Sakura grinned at her haunted expression. She was beginning to feel like maybe the night wouldn't be so bad after all. Naruto bounded through the crowd after them, laughing loudly as he grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her to him for a brief waltz. Then he twirled her and dropped her back into a ridiculous dip. Sakura felt a laugh bubble up her own throat. It burst as soon as she opened her eyes, as being upside down did nothing to lessen the shock of seeing Kiba staring back at her. Her back stiffened immediately, and her jaw clicked shut. She could feel a flush of heat working up her neck, but whether it was anger or something else, she couldn't say.

"Hey hey!" Naruto laughed louder. "It's Big Dick!"

Sakura's flush burned hotter. She'd forgotten about that joke. Given recent events, it hit her a little differently than when she'd first heard it.

Naruto pulled her back upright and stepped around her to go spread his infectious joy. Sakura let her body turn and observed Kiba right-side up. It was unfair how good he looked in that plain t-shirt, and his intense gaze overturned her world again. Her stomach flipped as his eyes swept her figure from head to toe, and she felt her hands ball into fists, a normal reaction to the feeling of impending threat that seemed to escalate every time she saw Kiba lately. Then she heard Inoichi's voice booming over the music. He'd managed to follow them and was trying to harangue Ino into playing beer pong with her dear old dad. Sakura pivoted, throwing her hand in the air, plastering on a smile. "I'll play, Uncle!"

Inoichi cheered. This unexpected enthusiasm made Ino eye her suspiciously, but Sakura strode by without returning the look. Suddenly she felt a real urge to get fucking bombed.

Kiba watched her go, paralyzed on his throne of limbs. The hour was upon him, but Sakura's eyes had pierced him and his resolve was leaking all over the place. Major party foul.

Naruto shouted something as he walked up, but Kiba didn't hear it, focused on the afterimage of his pink and yellow fantasy melting away. A tray of shots floated over courtesy of some helpful asshole, and Kiba faked a couple of rounds of liquid fun with the boys, eyes still straining uselessly into the crowd. The only person who noticed him pretending to take the shots was Shikamaru, whose smirk was now knife-sharp. Then Naruto blocked Kiba's view with his face.

"The hell's your problem, dude?" Naruto's brows were furrowed with mild tipsy concern. "You look constipated."

"Kiba can't breathe," Neji murmured dreamily, nuzzling Kiba's shoulder and almost spilling an abandoned shot he'd nabbed. Shikamaru leaned forward and nipped it out of his hands, shaking his head.

Naruto's eyes got wide. "That's too constipated! Go to the hospital, man!"

"Or maybe just go see a medic," Shikamaru said. Kiba looked at him, and Shikamaru grinned like a tiger again, bobbing his eyebrows briefly before downing the shot he was holding. Kiba took the hint. He peeled a protesting Neji off him, adjusted the cataclysmic bulge situation in his pants, and stumbled past Naruto into the crowd.

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Things get sexy next chapter, hold onto your butts.