"Buck, wake up, it's just a nightmare." Maddie says as she squeezes Buck's hand.
He was having a nightmare, the memories of his torment were playing on his mind, then watching Eddie bleeding out right in front of him after he had been shot. Maddie was now sitting on the bed she leaned down and rubbed his forehead.
"I'm here Evan, wake up." She whispered into his ear.
As she sat back down and held on to his hand as his nightmare continued, she could see the sweat forming across his forehead.
"EDDIE!" Buck screamed as he woke and sat straight up right.
"Its okay, I'm here, Eddie is safe. Remember you saw him yesterday; it was just a bad dream." Maddie says as she pulls him in to a hug.
"It felt so real, I thought I was dreaming the hospital and I was still back there, at that place." Buck said as he broke down crying "Am I to broken to be fixed?" He asks as he holds his sister tight.
"No, we will get you all better I promise." She says as she lays him back down and takes a seat in the chair again.
"I don't want go back sleep." Buck says looking at her.
"Well you don't have to; we can talk if you prefer." She says smiling at him.
"Yeah, please keep me distracted, how's things with Chim?" Buck asks.
"It's fine. We are good, I'm just not ready for the full commitment thing." She says
"Well, remember what you said to me - tomorrow is never promised, so practice what you preach sis." Buck says with a grin.
"Oi, just because you're in a hospital bed doesn't mean I won't beat you up, I do like him I just don't know yet but I'm enjoying the slow pace we have." She explains.
"I understand, but it's obvious that you're head over heels for him and he feels the same way. You only got to look at you two." Buck says.
"Yeah, well… the same could be said for you and Eddie, you were so close." Maddie starts but is stopped as Buck interrupted.
"Then I went and got the stupid lawsuit started and then met the wrong man which made it worse and ruined it all." Buck says
"Well, you can sort it out now. You know how he feels, and I know you feel the same, just take it slow and don't rush anything, you have to heal." Maddie advised, giving him the concerned sister look.
"I know, I explained that I loved him and had to bury it deep down, how do you dig up something you had to keep so buried for so long?" Buck asks rhetorically, twiddling his fingers.
"I can't pretend to have the right answers Buck but talking to each other properly will be a start on the right path." Maddie replies taking hold of his hand.
"Thank you for being here." He says seriously.
"Where else would I be?" She says.
As they sit Maddie turns the TV on so they can watch some shows to keep Buck's mind busy. After a few hours the nurse comes in to do some checks to make sure everything is okay and then leaves. Then there is a knock at the door and Athena walks in.
"Hey Buckaroo, how are you feeling?" She asks worriedly.
"Like I've been through the ringer." He jokes.
"Well that you have, I'm here to let you know Chase has been charged and you won't be seeing him for a long time, so you can focus on moving forward." she says as she takes a seat on the bed holding his other hand.
"That's good to hear. See Buck, everything will be okay, and you can move on." Maddie says.
"Yeah, I just have sort out the mess that is me now." Buck says looking down.
"You're not a mess, you were mistreated by them and the people closest to you didn't notice, they all feel bad for what happened, and we are all here for you." Athena says
"Have you spoken to Eddie?" She questions.
"Yeah, we had a chat. It went better than I thought it would." Buck responds
"Well, are you going keep me hanging in suspense, what was said?" Athena asks
"We both agreed it's a long way to go till I'm ready for anything like another relationship, but he said he would wait. But Athena, how can I unbury my love for him when I pushed it so far down?" Buck asks.
"That's a question only you can answer. Once you are out of here, you can start working on that. But for now, let us focus on healing." She says
"I don't even know where I'm going when I get out of here. I can't really go to Eddie's and I can't face my place yet." Buck says
"You're staying with me and Eddie's sister is coming up to help look after him and Chris, it's all sorted out." Maddie explains.
"Before you start to worry, we have worked a rota so you're not alone when Maddie's at work." Athena says smiling.
"Thank you so much, when can I go see Chris and take him see Eddie?" Buck asks
"Well, I have to head to the station, so ill leave you to go see them. Take care and I'll see you later." Athena says as she gives him a hug and leaves.
"Come on, your chariot awaits." Maddie chuckles as she points to the wheelchair.
She helps him into the chair and makes sure he has everything he needs before they head down towards the level where Chris was as they headed their Buck started to think to him self
'He wants you, you could have a family, but what if I do something to ruin it like I always ruin everything?'
His train of thought is broken when he hears the clunk of the door being opened.
"Buck, your back!" Chris says happily.
"I'm here buddy, how are you feeling today?" Buck asks.
"I'm great, my head hurts a bit, but the doctor says all is okay and I don't have to have any surgery." Chris says with a smile.
"That's good, that means you will soon be out of here then, how about we go see your Dad?" Buck asks with a smile.
"Can we? How are you feeling?" Chris asks.
"I'm good buddy, the doctors have worked their magic on me. is it okay with you, Abuela to take him?" Buck turns to ask her.
"Of course, it is, he's been moved to another ward anyway. The nurse explained to me earlier." Abuela replies, seeing his worry.
"Oh right, that's good then. Soon we all will be out of here." Buck says.
Buck watches as Abuela and Maddie help Chris into his wheelchair once in they make there way up to the level where Eddie had been moved to and it was the same level as Buck's. They find a nurse and ask which room it was and head to it, it was a few rooms down from Buck's own room. They arrive at the door and they stop as Buck signals for them to wait a second.
"Look buddy, when we go in your dad isn't going be able move much, so just be careful okay?" Buck explains.
"I know Abuela explained that he saved you and got hurt when he did." Chris says with a smile
"That he did, he's a hero." Buck says smiling.
They head into the room as they do Buck sees that Eddie is slightly sat up and awake
"Christopher!" Eddie says with a smile.
"Daddy!" Chris says as Abuela wheels him next to the bed, Buck signals for Maddie to help put him on the bed.
Buck watches as Chris hugs his Dad and see's the smile on both of their faces and smiles to he knows it's a long road but seeing that makes him hopeful, he then feels his chair been moved closer to the bed to.
"Hey, thanks for bringing him." Eddie says looking at the them.
"He needed see you and we did say we would bring him." Maddie explains.
"You look rough, Buck." Eddie says with a chuckle.
"That's rich coming from you, at least I can move." Buck responds with a teasing smile.
"Maddie, shall we go get a coffee and something for the boys?" Abuela asks pointedly.
"Yeah, we can do that." She smiles, getting the hint.
Maddie helps Buck up and sits him on the bed and gives him a hug and they leave just leaving them on their own.
"Come on, group hug!" Chris shouts reaching out an arm
"Yeah Buck, group hug." Eddie smiles his other arm reaching out as well.
Buck laughs and leans down an arm round Chris and the other round Eddie his head nestled in to Eddies neck and he feels both arms enveloping him.
"I'm glad we're all okay." Chris says.
"I know me too." Buck replies.
"Me three." Eddie says
"Dork." Buck replies rubbing his head on Eddies neck.
"Thank you, Dad." Chris says.
"What for?" Eddie questioned.
"I heard you when you said you will come back and have Evan with you, and you did. You brought Bucky back." Chris said as he squeezed them
"You heard that? And I did." Eddie asks, then finished with a tone of agreement.
"Yeah, I'm happy we have our family back." Chris says
"Me too." Eddie replies.
"Me three." Buck laughs.
"Now who's the dork?" Eddie says he watches as Buck rubs Chris back and smiles.
He is taken by surprise when he feels lips on his cheeks and then the missing of them, he turns to look at Buck, he mouths what was that for?
"For saving me." Buck whispers in Eddie's ear.
"What did you say Buck?" Chris asks as he heard the whisper.
"Nothing, just thinking out loud how perfect it all is right now." Buck replies they all break the hug and sit up.
"So, when can we all go home?" Chris asks
"It will be a few days before you both can head home and same for me but I'll be staying at Maddie's and you have your aunt coming up to look after you." Buck explains
"Why can't we just look after each other?" Chris asks confusedly.
"Because we all have different injuries, which means we are unable to look after each other, but Buck will still visit don't you worry." Eddie explains.
"We can talk over the phone too" Buck adds.
"That sucks." Chris says, starting to pout.
"It does doesn't it? I have loads of things to I want to do as well." Buck says
"Like what?" Eddie questions.
"Well, I saw a big Lego set a while ago. I was tempted to buy and have Chris help build it, I also need you know - time to sort things out." Buck says as he rubs Eddie's hand while Chris isn't looking.
"What Lego set? And I understand Abuela and Bobby explained you might be sad sometimes, but I'm here to give you hugs Bucky." Chris says
"Well, I was thinking the Hogwarts Castle set. That one should take a while don't you think? And thank you Superman, you know I love your hugs. They're better than everyone else's." Buck says
"Oi, my hugs are good too, you know." Eddie says
"There not as good as Chris's though. Sorry, but you're a good second don't you agree Chris?" Buck says.
"Yup. Sorry, Dad. Buck's right." Chris says, and they all laugh.
Maddie and Abuela come back with drinks for all of them and they turn to talking about other things that have happened trying to keep the talk away from what exactly happened, they notice that Chris is starting to nod off to sleep.
"Right mijo, time for you head back to your room and sleep. I'll see you later." Eddie says
"I want stay here with you two." Chris replies stubbornly and sleepy.
"I know you do, but we all have our own rooms for good reasons, so the nurses know what to do to make us all feel better, we will see you later and maybe arrange to have our dinner here in this room." Buck says
"Okay then as long as we get something nice, I don't like hospital food." Chris says.
"Well I tell you what, how about if I ask Bobby when he comes in later if he can cook you some of his famous meatloaf?" Maddie asks.
"Yes please." Chris says with a smile.
"Okay, then let's get you back to your room." Abuela says
"I'll help and I can call Bobby on the way back, you two won't cause any trouble while I'm gone will you?" Maddie asks, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Like we could, if we wanted to." Buck replies, looking around pointedly.
"Another group hug before I go." Chris says as he grabs Buck and Eddie.
As they hug, they see a flash and Buck looks at Maddie who is standing there holding her phone and smiling, she turns to show him and he smiles back, Maddie and Abuela gently lift Chris off the bed and in to his wheelchair and head out of the room.
"Bye Dad, Bye Buck see you later" Chris shouts as he leaves.
Once the door is closed the room falls silent and the sound of the hospital life outside the door can be heard.
"So, I get a kiss on the cheek now?" Eddie says breaking the silence.
"Yeah, well… I wanted give you a return kiss for last night but it felt awkward with Chris been there so I made do with that." Buck replies.
"How did you sleep?" Eddie says changing the subject.
"Not good" Buck replies turning his head.
"Don't turn away, I don't care if you cry, I'm guessing it was a bad dream, tell me about it?" Eddie asks, reaching out a hand.
"I don't know if I can." Buck responds
"That's okay then, I had a bad dream last night too." Eddie says, and Buck looks back at him surprised by the admission.
"What about?" Buck quizzed
"Losing you, that I didn't manage get you out the water, Lena wasn't there to help and I had to watch you drown." Eddie explains as tears form.
"But I didn't, and you got me out with Lena's help." Buck says.
He raises his hand and wipes away the tears from Eddie's cheek, Buck took hold of Eddie's hand.
"Mine was about everything I went through." Buck started and took a minute to breath before he started again "Then I watched you die after you took that bullet for me, no matter how much I tried you died." Buck says
"Well I'm here aren't I, feel." Eddie says He takes Buck's hand and moves it over his chest so Buck can feel the beats of his heart, Buck smiled at him.
"I know you want sort yourself out and I fully understand that. I just need to say it to you again I love you Evan Buckley." Eddie says
"I know Eddie." Buck starts
"But if I had said it to you sooner, none of this would have happened." Eddie interrupts
"No, I mean yes but not just you, it was me too, I could have said something to you first." Buck states
"If only we had talked instead of bottling it up, then you wouldn't have met him, and I wouldn't have gotten into street fighting but no point dwelling on the what ifs is there?" Eddie finishes.
"Very true." Maddie says as she comes in and Buck moves his hand so Abuela does not see.
"Who is with Chris?" Eddie asks
"Your sister Sophia, she is watching him then heading back too yours to tidy up ready for when you leave in the next few days." Abuela explains.
"Oh, right she got here quick." Eddie says
"Not really it is Monday after all, time is weird in this place." Buck says laughing
"It is. Speaking of which, I need get you back to your room, the doctor wants check you over as I maybe able take you out of here tomorrow." Maddie says
"Cool" Buck says looking at her and then looks at Eddie and gives him a sad look.
"Its fine, you need get out of here." Eddie says smiling
"I know just going be weird. Last time I left here was with you. Now we are both in here and I get to go, and you don't, you stayed with me till I could leave." Buck says
"But he wasn't hurt last time. This time you are both hurt, you both need to heal. So, get some sleep Eddie, we will be back later. Bobby is bringing a feast apparently for us all later." Maddie explains
"Okay, will do. See you later" Eddie says with a smile.
"See ya, Eddie. Make sure he sleeps, Abuela." Buck says as he climbs into the wheelchair with Maddie's help.
"Oh, I will, just make sure you nap too." Abuela says, wagging a finger at him.
"I'll make sure he does too." Maddie chuckles.
They leave and head down to his room it really was not far. as they enter and Buck settles down on to the bed, the doctor comes in.
"Mr Buckley, for someone who is meant be resting its hard find you in your room." The doctor says
"I know, I'm sorry but I've been incredibly careful don't have much choice. She would beat me if I did anything." Buck says pointing to Maddie
"Yes, and I should expect so. So how are you feeling, Mr. Buckley?" The doctor asks.
"I'm okay it's just dull aches and the cast is itchy." Buck admits.
"Well the pain could become worse because at the moment you are on strong painkillers and from now we will be lowering them to a standard level which you can take when you leave, the itchy cast I cant do anything about that, sorry. Now I want check the burn are you aware it will scar?" The doctor says
"So, it will show the letters for ever?" Buck says.
"I'm sorry to say but yes, I mean once healed you can see a plastic surgeon to get it covered maybe?" The doctor asks.
"Or you can get it covered by a tattoo." Maddie buts in noticing it was hitting Buck
"I'll know its there though" Buck says with tears forming.
"I know this is hard and we have people trained to talk to you about this." The doctor says.
"He knows and I'll make sure he talks" Maddie says pointedly.
"Can I leave tomorrow?" Buck asks curiously.
"Well, as long as you rest and as we lower the pain medicine, and nothing goes wrong overnight then yes, you can go." The doctor says
"What if I want stay?" Buck asks worriedly.
"Well we can't have you staying. if you do not need to, other people do need the beds." The doctor says.
"I know I'm sorry I'm just been selfish aren't I" Buck says
"No, you're not, look you went through something traumatic. You need to process and heal it isn't an overnight fix, but you have support of family and friends to help you." the doctor says.
"She's right Buck, I can take you to mine and go from there and if you don't feel okay there, we will find somewhere else for you. I promise." Maddie says.
"Thank you. I just want to sleep now." Buck says as he rolls over and closes his eyes.
"I'm sorry about that." Maddie says to the doctor
The doctor signals to Maddie to go outside.
"I'll be back in a minute Buck" Maddie says but no answer.
They walk outside and Maddie closes the door.
"I'm concerned about Evan; he doesn't seem to be processing what's happened he seems to be holding it down and saying all the right things. I'm concerned where that could lead to." The doctor explains.
"Yeah, I have had the same thoughts, he has explained to me he needs process everything but seems to be only focusing on certain things he needs to understand he needs to process it all, how can I help him if he doesn't want help himself." Maddie asks
"It's a waiting game. Just be there for him and make sure he is not alone because when it happens, he will need the support." The doctor says
"Thank you, I have already set up a rota, so he is not alone, and we have contacted the therapist." Maddie explains.
"I have other patients to see, I'll check on him later" The doctor explains.
Maddie heads back into the room and see's Buck is laying on his back now staring up at the ceiling, she takes a seat in the chair next to him and looks at him hoping he will talk but he doesn't.
"Buck, we need talk." Maddie says breaking the silence
"I don't want to talk, just leave me alone. Please Maddie, I just want to be alone." Buck says not even looking at her.
"Not until you tell me what's on your mind." Maddie says
"There's nothing on my mind I just want be alone, I want to sleep and then see Eddie later." Buck said.
"Well, maybe it be best if you do sleep as your in no fit state to see anyone, I'm going go to the canteen I'll be back later." Maddie says.
Buck does not say anything just rolled over. Maddie grabs her bag and heads out down the hall to relax and take some time away.
After a few hours she heads back and looks through the window and see he is asleep.
"How is he?" Bobby asks as he walks behind her making her jump
"Bobby, its you. You just startled me. He was doing ok this morning but then the doctor spoke to him and he turned around and now doesn't want to speak." She says.
"What did the doctor say?" he replies.
"Just that she thinks he is not processing what has happened and just saying all the right things to us and keeping everything else in, he will eventually crack. I don't know how that will go; we both know what he can be like. When he is with Eddie and Chris, he is different like the old Buck but when I take him away from them, he reverts." Maddie explains
"He could be using Eddie and Chris as an anchor where he knows he is safe and he doesn't have think about everything that has happened as there both hurt so he wants get them better but then when he is away from them its like he's out at sea and lost in a storm, he has the time to think about everything and we know he overthinks things." Bobby says, hitting on the right idea.
"Yeah, you could be right. Okay, we better head in. You got the food?" She asks.
"All here." Bobby said, showing the Tupperware food boxes,
"Great. You head to Eddie's room and I'll meet you there. I'll message Abuela to so she can bring up Chris." Maddie explains.
"Okay, see you in a minute." Bobby says.
Bobby heads down the hall towards Eddie room and Maddie walks into the room to Buck, she looks at him and he is asleep she gently taps his shoulder.
"What?" He responds sleepily.
"Bobby is here, time go to Eddie's room to eat." Maddie says
"Okay, has he brought the meatloaf?" Buck says smiling as he sits up.
Maddie could not believe how quick he changed.
"Yes, he brought it. Let us get you out the bed and into the wheelchair." Maddie says.
She helps him out the bed and into the chair and they head out down the hall to Eddies room and he is all smiles as they enter the room.
"Hey Buck, how are you feeling?" Bobby says
"I'm feeling good, can't wait for some decent food though." Buck says with a grin
As they watch Bobby get the food out the bag and place it on the table Buck takes a seat next to Eddie on the chair and they wait for Chris to arrive after a few minutes Chris arrives with his Abuela.
"Dad, Buck! I missed you both." Chris says as he enters
"Missed you to Buddy." Buck says.
"Hey mijo, how are you feeling?" Eddie asks
"Good, Aunty Sophia has been reading to me." Chris says
"Good to hear, now let's eat." Eddie says
"Well here it is all. I'll leave you to eat and I'll see you later." Bobby says
"Can't you stay?" Buck says.
"I can't, I have things to sort out at the station, but I'll come see you soon though." Bobby says
Bobby leaves and they all settle down to eat the food that has been brought in for them and they enjoy talking mainly asking Sophia to tell stories of Eddie as a child as it rare to get the info after they ate.
"Right time you went and go to sleep Chris it is getting late" Eddie says as he noticed the time.
"Do I have to?" Chris says sulking.
"Come on, you know you need the rest." Sophia says
"Okay, let me give you a hug, though Dad." Chris says
Sophia lifts him up so he can give Eddie a hug and then signals that he wants Buck to join so Buck stands and they all hug and they break the hug and Sophia and Abuela take Chris away, Maddie starts to clean up.
"What's wrong, Buck?" Eddie asks
"Nothing, I'm okay." Buck replies untruthfully.
Maddie keeps cleaning up, hoping Eddie can get him to open up.
"Buck, don't you know I know you better than that." Eddie says staring at Buck, giving him that expression.
"It's ok Eddie, I'm going sort it out. I just need time." Buck says
"Okay, but don't hold anything in." Eddie says.
"I won't, it's getting late I better head to bed as I'm leaving tomorrow by the look of it." Buck says
"Are you? That's good at least you can get time to process everything." Eddie says smiling.
"Yeah, I'll see you later." Buck says.
He stands up and leans down to give Eddie a hug.
"Can I sneak in later and sleep in the chair? I don't want be alone." Buck whispers to Eddie.
Eddie looks over to Maddie who is still cleaning.
"Ok" Eddie whispers back, smiling.
They hug a bit more and then break, Maddie stands by his wheelchair as he climbs in and they head off.
"See ya, Eddie." Buck says.
"Bye." Eddie says
"Sleep well Eddie." Maddie says.
"I will just get him back to his room." Eddie says with a smile
She smiles at him and heads out and to his room, as they get in the room and Buck lays down he looks at Maddie who was getting comfy on the chair.
"Why don't you head home, I'll be fine, and I'll see you tomorrow." Buck says.
"I'm not leaving you on your own." She says
"Maddie, I have nurses coming in all night. I'll be fine I promise ill be here waiting for you to take me home." He says
"Are you sure?" She asks nervously.
"Maddie, just do it please. Go home and get some sleep in your own bed." Buck says.
"Okay, I'll be here for you in the morning." Maddie says.
"Okay, see you later." Buck says as he rolls over to sleep
Maddie waits a bit and sees he is going sleep she grabs her bags and heads out, she says to the nurse to check in on him and goes, Buck waits a good ten minutes before he sits up and looks round, no sign of Maddie he smiles the lights are dimmed, he slowly climbs out the bed and in to his wheelchair, he slowly rolls him self to the door and out and down the hall as he reaches the door to Eddie's room he is stopped he turns and sees a nurse.
"Where do you think you are going Mr Buckley?" She asks
"Just checking on Eddie I promise I'll leave soon can I just have some time with him, its hard talk to him when people are around." Buck says giving her sad eyes
"Fine but not to long" She says as she holds the door open and he rolls in.
As he enters the room, he waits till the door closes and heads closer, once he gets to the bed, he pulls himself up and smiles at Eddie.
"Took you long enough" Eddie says with a smile.
"Well I got caught by the nurse she said she gives us some time talk." Buck says as he turns to take a seat.
"You can't sleep in the seat, here." Eddie says as he shifts in the bed making room and lifting the blanket up.
"You're crazy" Buck says.
"No, I'm just making sure you get a goodnight's sleep." Eddie says smiling
Buck climbs up and gets in the bed laying his head on Eddies chest and smiling, Eddie pulls the blanket over them.
"So, want to really tell me what wrong." Eddie says.
"Can we not talk, I just want enjoy the moment, after tonight I won't see you for a while." Buck say
"Why is that?" Eddie asks
"I need sort myself out and I know it will be hard, I mean I will talk over the phone but I need a few days to sort myself out, and you will be in here for a bit longer so it gives me the time sort myself out." Buck explains
"As long as you make sure you do and you're not just saying it thinking that's what I want hear." Eddie says stroking Buck's hair.
"It's not. I really want sort myself out; I want to be happy." Buck explains
"Okay then I believe you. Now let us sleep." Eddie says
Buck nods and puts his hand over Eddies chest so he can feel the heartbeat, Eddie has his hand on Buck's back and the other covers Buck hand on his chest. They both lay there smiling and Buck drifts off and after about twenty minutes, Eddie was still awake but could see Buck was out and the door opens up and the nurse looks over and smiles and leaves, after she leaves Eddie looks down he feels complete but knows it could be a while before he has time like this with Buck again, he drifts off to sleep smiling.