Buck has a nightmare that he is in the boot of the car again, his panic and terror wakes him up as he gets his bearings, he can tell he is in the living room. The glow off the Christmas lights dimly lit the room he could feel a weight on his chest he starts to panic again wondering what it could be, he felt movement and he instantly froze.
"It's ok Bucky, it is only a nightmare" Chris says in a soothing tone as he rubs his hand over Buck's chest.
"Chris? What are you doing here? I thought you would have gone home?" Buck asked totally confused he thought Abuela would have taken him home.
"I'll explain later, go back to sleep." Chris says.
"Okay." Buck says agreeably.
He is totally confused with what is going on, but he will not ruin it. He will just enjoy what he has right now, he looks round the room again the room is more vivid now. His eyes have adjusted the decorations of the room shine and he looks down at Chris who is snuggled into his side now, but his arm was on Buck's chest. Buck feels a tear form and roll down his cheek he is so happy, he closes his eyes and nods off again.
"Good morning." a soft voice says as Buck wakes he does not recognise it.
"Stay away" Buck says as he moves his aching body in front of Chris to protect him.
"Bucky, its fine." Chris says as he rubs his hand on Buck's back.
Buck just stares at the woman in front of him, he knows he has seen her before but not sure where
"You won't take him away and hurt him, I won't let you." Buck says moving his hands
"It's my Aunty Sophia remember?" Chris says taking hold of one of Buck's hand.
'I must look like a right fool, I bet I scared Chris I'm such a fool'
"I'm sorry, you just took me by surprise." Buck says looking down.
"It is fine I understand. I am sorry, I should have got Maddie to wake you both. Breakfast is ready though; I will go in the kitchen. Bring Chris with you when you are ready, okay?" She finishes as she walks off.
"I'm sorry buddy, I didn't scare you, did I?" Buck asks as he turns to Chris.
"No, daddy explained there maybe be some days you wake and are scared and to rub your back until you're calm again so that what I did, and it worked." Chris smiles at Buck.
"That it did, thank you. Come on, let us go and see what silly healthy breakfast Maddie has made for us." Buck says with a grin
They slowly get up, Buck passes Chris his crutches and then grabs his own as they make their way over to the kitchen. As they approach, they can see the table is filled with pancakes and fruit juice, Buck looks at Maddie and she smiles at him.
"Pancakes! Buck it's not a silly healthy breakfast." Chris says and quickly puts his hand over his mouth.
"Oh, you don't want pancakes then" Maddie jokes
"Oh no we do; I hope they're just as good as Bucky's though." Chris says as Sophia picks him up and places him on the seat at the table.
"Want know a secret Chris?" Maddie says in a not-so-secret tone and Chris nods "Who do you think taught him to make pancakes?" She asks with a smile.
"You did!" He says with a smile.
Maddie nods at him and moves round to help Buck sit.
"For the record, you may have taught me how to make them, but I improved them." Buck jokes
He looks over the table there is a plate full of pancakes and juice he pulls some over and starts to eat as Maddie and Sophia join in and they eat quietly, Buck looking up enjoying the scene in front of him, he still couldn't believe it was happening.
'I'm going wake up and its going be me alone I just know it, I'm always alone.'
"Hey, what's on your mind?" Maddie asks
"Nothing. I am just enjoying the breakfast, but why is Chris still here? I thought Abuela would have taken him back." Buck asks
"Well, when she saw both of you out cold on the sofa, Bobby convinced her to let him stay, she called me and I came round and Maddie said it would be okay, you hadn't woken up in hours neither had Chris and Maddie explained you hadn't slept much. So, I said I'd leave him here and come back in the morning." Sophia said with a smile
"Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me." Buck says gratefully.
"Well, seeing how you went to instinctually defend him, I can see why my brother trusts you with him." she says.
"He told you that?" Buck could not believe what he was hearing
"Oh, he told me, he argued with our parents over the matter when they did their 'we know better' routine but seeing it for myself, I know he made a good choice. Didn't he Chris?" Sophia explains.
"He did, my Bucky keeps me safe." Chris says before he takes another mouthful of pancakes.
Buck nods and continues to eat the food on his plate, Maddie passes him some pain pills and he has them with his juice, he smiles at her.
"So, I see someone has been busy." Sophia asks pointing to the pile of boxes in the corner
"Yeah, he has. I told him he didn't need to, but he loves Christmas." Maddie jokes
"It keeps me busy, though I must admit will be fun wrapping them." Buck says with a laugh.
"I can help." Chris says, and Maddie looks at Buck.
"It's okay, buddy. I have the Grinch here to help. Anyway, you need help your aunty to get your house decorated before your dad gets out remember?" Buck says deflecting the question
"You are right, I wish you could come and help though." Chris says
"I wish I could, but I wouldn't be any help, I had Chim and Maddie do the ones here as I couldn't really do much." Buck says and see's Chris face drop "Tell you what, okay I'm down for coming and I'll sort some way of getting the house decorated and we will make it super Christmassy okay?" Buck says and notes the look off Maddie.
"You promise?" Chris asks.
"Pinkie promise." Buck says holding his pinkie up and Chris links it.
"Well, eat up and we will head off and then Buck can get ready if he is sure into coming with us." Sophia says looking at Maddie.
"Yeah, don't worry we will sort something out." Maddie says in an annoyed tone.
They all finish up and Sophia and Chris leave and once the door closes and Buck starts heading to the kitchen, he grabs a black bin bag out the cupboard.
"Buck what are you playing at?" she questions.
"Going put the bag round my leg so I can shower like I have been doing these last few days can't go round Eddie's house smelling like crap." Buck says.
"I know that but promising Chris you will help, don't you think you should focus on other things." Maddie says.
Buck knows exactly what she is on about
"Maddie I just want enjoy one day just one day where I can focus on something else and enjoy the time. Yes, I need sort myself out, but this is something I can enjoy, why would you want take it away?" Buck says and starts to cry.
"Buck I'm sorry. I didn't think, I just want to help you, I didn't mean upset you." Maddie says as she walks over and hugs him.
"I know I'm broken; I just want one day to forget all the bad things and what I'm going have to do in the future to get myself sorted, yesterday at the therapy session I couldn't cope and I walked out but I just need time I promise." he says holding her tight.
"You are not broken, Buck. We will get through this; do you really want to go?" She questions.
"I made a pinkie swear, you know that I take these ones seriously." Buck says.
"Okay, go get showered then we will dress the wounds again. While you shower, I will round up the troops asking if they have any spare decorations and bring them to Eddies, I'm going prove to Chris I'm not the Grinch." Maddie says putting her tongue out at him.
"Thank you." Buck says gratefully as he hugs her.
As Buck hobbles to the shower and showers he enjoys the water running down his back and can hear the water hitting the bag on his leg. Once he's done he towels himself dry and pulls a pair of boxers on and looks in the mirror, it had been round a week since he was saved but the bruises were still there not fully faded but they were still there. He looked at some of the cuts on his chest they were not deep but still they were there. He ran a finger over one and flinched at the pain but then continued to push on it tears forming from the pain.
'I can actually feel something or than fear and its good.'
"Buck, you decent enough for me come in?" Maddie asks.
Buck jumps and quickly wipes his finger from the blood that had started to come out
"Yeah" Buck says and watches as Maddie opens the door.
"Oh, your bleeding how that happen?" She asks worriedly.
"I caught it while I was drying." He lies to her.
'I can't say I deserve it she will talk me out of it I know I do.'
"Okay, well… I'll sort that one then the rest of them." She says with a smile and continues "Oh, we have pretty much a full team, Bobby and Athena are coming with Harry and May, Michael, Carla, Chim. Karen and Hen can't unfortunately, but that's enough I think, I told Chim get hot chocolates and cookies." She says
"Okay, cool. Christmas is coming." Buck says painting a false smile to her
He stands there as Maddie applies cream and fresh dressings to his wounds once done, she hands him some pain pills and a glass of water once he is done she leaves him to get dressed, once he is done he hobbles down the hall and picks up his fixed phone, he lets a small smile as the lock screen appears and it's a picture of him, Eddie and Chris he looks up and see's Maddie there smiling at him.
"I guess you like the new lock screen?" She asks
"Yeah, thank you." He replies.
"Don't worry I went through it and anything to do with you know who is gone, now the car is loaded so let's go." She says
Buck nods and hobbles on his crutches as they head to the car, once in they start their drive and Maddie starts searching on the radio.
"What are you doing?" Buck asks
"Looking for this." She says as she finds the radio station that just plays Christmas songs. "I told you I'm going prove you wrong, that I'm not the Grinch." She says smiling.
They listen to Christmas music all the way to Eddies, Buck keeps to himself just watching the streets go by, he felt his stomach turning as they get closer the memory of what happened last time start to reappear his hand starts gripping the chair tightly, as they pull up to the front of the house it's pretty much bang on where exactly the car that took him away was parked his nerves are on edge even more now.
"We're here." Maddie says as she opens her door.
Buck jumps and looks round to see her leave, when he turns back round, he sees her at his door, and she tries to open it and he holds it close.
"Hey, want open the door for me?" She says
All Buck can do is look at the front of Eddie's house the memory of Chris laying on the floor hits him and tears start to fall.
"It's okay, it's just a memory." Maddie says as she enters the car in the driver's side to comfort him.
Buck cannot shake it; all he sees is Chris. He is stuck in a loop that keeps playing in his mind. He closes his eyes and puts his hands over his face and lets out a cry, he jumps as he feels a hand on his back.
"I'm here Buck." Maddie says softly.
They stay like that for a few minutes
"Hey, why don't you look up now, it will be all better." Maddie says, as he hears the smile in her voice.
"I'm scared to." Buck says.
"It will be okay, I promise." She replies.
Buck moves one finger slightly over so he can look and is greeted by a cheesy grin waving at him on the path.
"Chris." Buck says as he opens the door and hobbles over and grabs hold of him.
"It's okay Bucky, I understand. I was scared the first time when I came back too." Chris says holding tight to Buck "Everyone is here to look after us and they brought so many decorations." He says with a giggle
"I should hope so, and I'm sorry that I freaked." Buck says as he breaks the hug.
"It's okay, I got you Bucky." Chris says as he holds a handout.
Buck takes hold of it and Maddie passes him one of his crutches. Chris and he slowly head into the house as he enters, he see's people all over smiling at him and so many boxes of decorations waiting to put up.
"You know he is going be so moody when he sees all this." Chimney jokes as he approaches Buck slowly.
"I know, but this Christmas has got be extra good to cancel out the bad. Isn't that right, Superman?" Buck says looking at Chris.
"It does. I can't wait see Dad's face; we will have record it for everyone!" Chris chuckles.
"That we will, especially as we most likely won't get see the live reaction due to work, but to have it on video to tease him will be brilliant." Chimney adds as he walks out and heads to Maddie.
Buck looks round and watches as Chimney gets loaded with boxes from Maddie's car, as he turns, he sees Carla walking up.
"Hey Buckaroo, let's go get a drink and we can talk plan of action with the rest of the team." She says
They wander through the house and Buck says hello to people as he walks past them, and he finally sits down and puts his leg on another chair to rest it a bit. Carla walks over and places a hot chocolate and a cookie in front of him and smiles, he sees Athena and Booby approach.
"Well, look who gets the easy job." She teases him
"Sorry, I would help but under orders to just do a Bobby and boss people about today." Buck says and Chris laughs loudly.
"Oh, like that is it?" Bobby says smiling
"Yeah, so let's get started, I know he will go all moody about it, but it's fun isn't it Chris?" Buck jokes
"It is." Chris says
"Well, you don't have live with him" Sophia says as she walks over
"True but still it be funny, even if it stays up for a day but it will stay up longer especially when we say most of it is other people's so they want it back he won't want rip it down as he knows what will happen wont he, Athena?" Buck says with a smirk.
"That he does, so shall we start?" Athena says, "Troops rally up." She shouts and gives Buck a wink
"Hey everyone, first thanks for coming I know it most likely the last thing you were expecting today." Buck starts and stops to breathe he feels Maddie's hand behind him and smiles "It's been hard as most of you know, but today isn't about me or how broken I am, today is officially classed as Operation Christmas Overkill. My deputy has a simple request and we will do our best to complete the task." Buck says holding back the tears he knows our in his eyes he nudges Chris.
"I want every inch of the house covered in Christmas." He says, and everyone laughs, and they all set off splitting up and going into separate rooms so they can start.
"Sophia, I just want say sorry about you know this morning." Buck says looking sheepishly
"I told you its ok, after everything you've been through to defend Chris like that, I understand why Eddie had you as a best friend." She says smiling "Do you both want to see something funny?" She says with a grin.
"Yes." Chris says with a giggle.
"Okay what is it?" Buck asks
Sophia then pulls out a box and opens it and it is filled with pictures.
"No way, is that-?" Buck starts before Sophia finishes with a gleeful grin
"Eddie, yes when he was ten." Sophia says, "They are all the Christmas ones from when we were kids I brought them to show Chris but thought it may cheer you up too." She says.
"Oh, they have, I've got to wind him up." Buck says gleefully as he takes his phone and takes a photo of it and sends it Eddie with the text 'Haha, don't you look like a moody kid :P'
"He will be so moody when he knows we've seen these." Chris jokes.
"Seen what?" Maddie asks and then bursts out laughing as she sees it "Is that Eddie?" she asks
"Yup." Sophia replies
"I'll need to find out where's Buck's I think it's only fair, what do you say Chris?" Maddie says grinning
"No, you won't." Buck interjects.
"Yes!" Chris shouts
Just then Buck's phone starts ringing and it's Eddie he looks at Maddie, who holds her hand up and helps Buck up and heads to the back door and signals Chris and Sophia to follow, he answers the phone as they walk out.
"Where on earth did you get that?" Eddie says down the phone
"One second, let me put you on video." Buck says.
"There, now you can see us." Buck says
"Chris, hey buddy what are you, er- hang on, that's my backyard." Eddie says and looks confused
"Isn't your Dad clever? He can tell we are at his." Buck jokes.
"Well, yeah but I thought it might be hard to be there you know after." Eddie says seriously.
"It was, but this one here helped me through it, didn't you?" Buck says hugging Chris.
"I did dad, Bucky looked sad when he got here and I knew it was because of what happened, so I went out and hugged him like you said to and he would be okay." Chris says with a smile
"That's good but why are you there, you're both meant be resting." Eddie says in an annoyed tone.
"My fault brother, I brought these pictures up to show Chris, and he wanted Buck to see so I asked Maddie if he could come over." Sophia says
"Oh great, how many have you seen?" Eddie groans.
"Just a few but trust me I can't wait see the rest of them, neither can Chris." Buck jokes
"Don't worry Eddie, I'll get some of Buck for you." Maddie jokes.
"Thank you." Eddie replies.
"So, what you got planned now you're at mine?" Eddie asks
They all look each other and smile.
"What?" Eddie asked.
"Were going make cakes for when you get out, you will be out soon won't you?" Buck says
"Yeah, and you don't need make cakes." Eddie says.
"We do that, or cookies." Chris says thoughtfully.
"Also, we need to discuss the lack of Christmas in this house, Edmundo." Buck jokes.
"Well I'm in no fit state, I'll get them up when I'm out and able to move, you know I like it basic and simple, I can't stand the glitter and tinsel falling everywhere." Eddie complains and Maddie tries not laugh to loud.
"I know, well when you're out we will come round and help decorate." Buck responds with a grin
"Anyway, we better go, I need get him home soon." Maddie says.
"Okay, look after each other." Eddie says.
"Look after yourself." Buck responds seriously.
"Bye Dad." Chris says
"Bye" Maddie and Sophia say, and they hang up and the second they do all four of them start laughing.
"What are you four laughing at?" Athena asks curiously.
"Eddie just called, I asked how he is going to decorate when he comes back, and he said, and I quote him verbatim: basic and simple." Buck says as he and Chris start laughing again.
"Well, he is going be in for a big shock, then isn't he? Right, I think we need up the Christmas come on; you need make sure were doing okay." Athena says.
They all head back in and sit at the table and watch as people move round decorating everywhere after a few hours it looks like the people have finished so Chris and Buck look round at exactly how much had been put up there was decorations everywhere, Buck looks at Chris who has the biggest grin on his face that's when Buck knows they have done good. They continue to walk round and see that the living room is covered top to bottom, the Christmas tree is up, lights everywhere. The kitchen is the same, they investigate Chris's room and its filled as well. They checked the guest room and like Chris's room, it is filled with Christmas decorations. They then investigated the bathroom, which had decorations everywhere. The shower was the only place there was not any. They then in peeked into Eddies room, they had covered everything in tinsel it was wrapped round the lamps, the bed posts, door handles. Basically, everything was all Christmassy. Chris started laughing, so did Buck and then they followed Athena to the front and the front was also covered up. Once they were happy, they thanked people and they started to leave, Buck said goodbye to Chris and Sophia and made their own way home as it was getting late.
"It was a good day." Maddie says, smiling.
"Yeah it was." Buck agrees with a smile.
"Fancy a film and pizza when we get in." Maddie asks
"Maybe, I'm feeling a bit tired so might have a nap." Buck replies
"Ok, maybe after the nap." Maddie says agreeably.
They arrive back at Maddie's and Buck hobbles into his room and sits down on the bed.
'so useless, couldn't even help today.'
The thoughts in his head started to bug him, so he moves his hand on his chest and starts to press down hard on to the wound like he did earlier. he continued to press against it until the voice stopped, once it did, he stops adding pressure. He lets out a sigh and lays down pulls the cover over him and falls asleep.
"Hey sleepy, it's time for some pills" Maddie calls out as she comes in with the medication and water in tow.
Buck slowly moves and sits up and he can feel a twinge on his chest.
"Oh, it looks like it bled again. I'll go get the kit from the bathroom and clean it for you." Maddie says.
Buck then remembers something Aaron had said to him.
'Remember, you're a first responder. Aren't you trained to do this stuff?'
"It's okay, ill sort it out myself." Buck says abruptly as he stands.
"Buck let me; it will be easier." Maddie starts.
"Maddie, no I can do it myself." Buck says
He starts to hobble off into the bathroom, he closes the door and locks it. He pulls his shirt off and the dressing and looks at the wound. His mind starts to wander, and thoughts appear.
'She thinks I'm useless, I got to prove her wrong, but I am useless.'
Buck instantly starts pressing down on the wound trying to make the thoughts go away and when they would not, he really pushed down and trying not let a moan of pain leave his lips. eventually the voice went and he released the pressure, he grabs the kit and cleans the wound up and redresses the it up and hobbles out the room and in to his to get a fresh shirt and sees Maddie sat on his bed.
"See, I can do it." Buck says as he picks a shirt
"I never said you couldn't, I was just trying help" She replies
"Well if I need it, I'll ask. Won't I?" Buck snaps and Maddie storms out.
Buck looks up to the ceiling and sighs, he quickly pulls the shirt on and hobbles down after her.
"Maddie wait, I'm sorry" Buck shouts.
As he gets to the kitchen, she is standing at the island and looks at him.
"I know, I'm sorry for pushing you. I should give you some space sometimes. I'm just worried about you." She says
"Maddie, I'm, here aren't I?" Buck says looking at her.
"I know, it just…it could have easily gone the other way." She says with a tear rolling down her face.
"Come here." Buck says holding his arms open.
They hug for a bit, the both crying, Maddie being worse off, as Buck was taller, so his tears fell on her head.
"Pizza." Buck says.
"Okay." Maddie replies, wiping her eyes.
They order pizza and watch a film and sure enough, it made them tired and knowing that it is time for bed, they prepared separately for bed. As Buck lays down into the bed, ready for a night of sleep, he can sense the awful thoughts in his mind and before they would form, he starts pressing down again on the wound which makes them disappear and he smiles as he nods off to sleep.