Surprise! Bet you weren't expecting another chapter!
Well, enjoy it, and don't expect another chapter for a while after this. I gotta get back to RWBY:EoR now. Later breeders.
Yes, that was a reference.
Chapter 5: The Birds and The Trees
"HAAAAAA!"
With that shrill and resounding roar of exertion, a massive 30 foot golem immediately found itself being blasted apart from a resounding shockwave as Cell's palm slammed into its torso and proceeded to obliterate its main body with a powerful Kiai.
The battle was…
…unsurprisingly short.
Cell had been hoping for some sort of challenge, but it turns out the golems relied only on their bulk to fight. Nothing else was unique about them, they were completely braindead automatons that just seemed keen on destroying shit.
Which is why he found himself easily dispatching the first one, reducing it to a pile of rubble with a single strike. Disappointing.
"Well shit, was hoping for something way cooler than this… might as well see if I can get some lunch out of this." He grunts, before powering up as he shoots through the air, dodging a clumsy and slow swing from the final golem, and then landing on its shoulder and jabbing his tail straight into its nape.
Feeling the familiar hum of magical energy running through it, he starts to siphon it out with glee. Guiche's own Valkyrie golems were enough to boost him to his Imperfect form, so hopefully he'd get himself a sizeable boost from draining the magic out of this considerably larger golem!
The dirt construct futilely flailed its arms as it tried to pry him off its back, but its movements became more and more sluggish as the seconds ticked by, and the magic fueling its body began to vanish, causing the golem to slowly collapse into a pile of dirt.
"Well… that was also disappointing. Jeez, is today just gonna be nothing but disappointing?" Cell grumbles as his tail shakes off any residual dirt, quickly letting out a small whistle of air as it blew out any dirt it may have accidentally sucked up.
While the amount of magic in this golem was way more than even the combined amount Guiche put into all his golems, it still didn't… feel like it changed anything. Just a drop in a lake.
"How many of these am I gonna have to drain before I evolve again…? Is it possible I can actually achieve my Perfect form just by draining magic?" He mumbles, rubbing his chin as he stands on the pile of soil and moss that was once a golem.
What if he tried it differently?
What if he drained the magic straight from people?
Hmmm… food for thought.
"M-mister Cell!"
Speaking of food!
Cell turns to find Siesta running towards him, holding up her dress a little so she doesn't trip, and panting with exertion.
"Siesta? The heck are you doing here?" He blinks in confusion as he hops off from the golem's remains and lands on the ground with a thud.
"M-miss Valliere told me to fetch you!"
"And why couldn't she do that herself?"
"She's… currently detained?"
Cell's pink eyes blink slowly once more.
"She's what?"
"I swear to the Founder I didn't know he was going to do that headmaster! I made him swear up and down that he wouldn't use pyrotechnics and-"
"Calm yourself Miss Valliere, it's alright. Contrary to what you might believe, you are not in any trouble." Old Osmond chuckles as he folds his hands on his desk, shaking his head.
His office was unusually full today, with most of the teachers and the Princess herself currently filling the room.
Louise's cheeks reddened with shame as she bowed. "B-but still, h-he caused the destruction of one of the school's oldest structures and obliterated its enchantments and I am so sorry! I-I'll be w-willing to contact my family to replace anything that was destroyed!"
"Tempting as that may be considering Karin's wealth, it seems that only the outer wall was actually destroyed, and most of the valuable items in the vault have been secured… however, there IS something to discuss, but it must wait until your Familiar arrives." Osmond hums, stroking his beard.
With the lull in silence, the Princess herself approached Louise and smiled softly. "Louise Francoise, it is so good to see you again~"
"A-ah, y-your highness! Please forgive me for not greeting you earlier, I didn't intend to ignore you! I-I was-" Louise began to splutter and bow again, only for Henrietta to hold a hand up with a patient grin.
"I know Louise, I was there. You haven't changed a bit, though it seems you gained much more humility to contrast with your spitfire nature."
"Oh, your highness, you are familiar with Miss Valliere?" Professor Colbert raises a brow in surprise, an expression shared by many of the other teachers.
"Of course, we are childhood friends! Her mother often brought Louise to the palace to accompany me as a playmate of sorts for a few years until she had to attend school!" Henrietta declared, putting a hand on Louise's shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze. "I still remember the days we fought over some of my toys. Such fond memories!"
"P-princess…" Louise whined a little with embarrassment, remembering her utterly uncouth demeanor when she was a toddler.
"I was so happy to see you looking so confident at the festival prior, and I must say, despite how… a-ahem, forgive for saying this, repulsive your Familiar looks, he is undoubtedly one of the most impressive creatures I have ever seen! A myriad of unique abilities that replicate magic, it's unheard of!" The Princess continues to gush in front of Louise, smiling widely.
Now Louise actually felt some pride return to her as she puffed her chest out and smirked. "M-mhm! He is my perfect Familiar!"
"Well thank you mother, but I'm not perfect yet. Hopefully sometime soon though."
Louise almost jumped when she heard that raspy voice behind her, before she turned around and promptly gave Cell a kick to his shin. "Why must you keep doing that!? How on earth do you keep sneaking up on me!? You're huge!"
"Practice." Cell grins, before his eyes glance over to a suddenly nervous Henrietta. "And you must be the Princess. Nice to finally meet'cha."
"A-a pleasure to meet you as well, erm… Little Green?" The Princess smiled a bit nervously, not expecting to be face to face with the massive bug man so soon.
"It's Cell actually-"
"It's Little Green, deal with it." Louise interrupts, smirking a little before turning to look at Old Osmond. "Erm, headmaster, you said that there was something important that Cell needed to be here for?"
"Why yes Miss Valliere. This is about the Vault. You see, while nothing too valuable was destroyed… it seems that the person who sent the golems to attack the festival had stolen something quite important from the vault. And I believe I know exactly who it is." Osmond hums, resting his chin on the back of his interlaced fingers. "Have you heard of Fouquet of the Crumbling Dirt?"
"The notorious thief?" Louise blinks. "You think he's the culprit?"
"Fouquet the-who now?" Cell tilts his head. "Sounds like a dumb nickname."
"It's a nickname mainly attributed to the fact that by the time anyone discovers something has been stolen, all that's left as evidence is some crumbling dirt, left in the wake of the thief. Fouquet is quite notorious for stealing from nobles, roaming around from Tristain to Albion. Recently his heists have been slower and seemingly becoming less frequent…" Osmond sighs, shaking his head. "But clearly it seems that the reason for that is because he has been preparing to rob the vault, and has stolen the most dangerous treasure inside it. The Golem of Destruction."
Cell could taste the sudden tension in the air as all the teachers and the Princess seemed to all look grim. "…the what now?"
Osmond chuckles a little as he strokes his majestic beard. "Well you see, many, many years ago, when I was a slightly younger man, I came into possession of an unusual golem that looked exactly like a man, and seemed to be made of material far more durable than any mere metal or stone. It saved my life from a furious red dragon that almost killed me, by falling straight from the sky and crushing the dragon's skull under its foot, before it seemed to deactivate and fall inert after looking towards the sky and suffering unusual body spasms. Even with all my knowledge of Earth Magic, I have never been able to reactivate the golem, so I stowed it in the vault, hoping to one day activate it once more… and well, rumors spread, and it seems Fouquet stole it to try and activate it."
Osmond shakes his head with a huff. "Good luck to him I say. If I couldn't activate it, I honestly doubt a Triangle Class thief could."
"What does this do?" Fouquet tilts her head as she looks an oddly displaced 'panel' of sorts on the chest armor of the golem. Managing to pry it open with some lock-picking gear, she finds a number of buttons and wires.
She presses the big red one, and leaps back when the golem starts to vibrate a little and let out a deep, rumbling hum as it starts to slowly open its eyes.
"In any case, while I will not be punishing Miss Valliere for the destruction you caused, I am going to be assigning you a job of sorts. I want the both of you to chase Fouquet and retrieve the Golem of Destruction." Osmond declares, staring at the youngest Valliere and her monstrous Familiar.
"W-what? Headmaster, Louise Francoise is a child!" Henrietta exclaims, a number of teachers nodding their heads in agreement, but for other reasons.
Sending the Zero after a well-known thief? They didn't fancy her chances.
However…
"I find myself in agreement with the Headmaster with this decision." Colbert hums, rubbing his chin. "While Miss Valliere is young and inexperienced, her Familiar is remarkably powerful. I have no doubts that he could most likely take on a Triangle Class mage without any real difficulty."
"Awww, you flatter me cueball!" Cell croons, waving his hand in an 'Oh you' gesture.
"C-cueball!?" Colbert splutters, his brow twitching.
"Well, it's either that or send one of you out there after the thief." Osmond chuckles, staring down each and every one of the teachers in the room. "So, any volunteers?"
Not a single teacher raised their hand.
"….well, I'm confident in Cell, and honestly, it does sound exciting. I am willing to do my part for the school and the country, and apprehend the thief!" Louise sighs, before standing up straighter with a look of resolution, eliciting a smile from the Princess.
"I thought so!" The bearded headmaster snorts. "With that, I formally give this mission out to Louse Francoise le Blanc de la Valliere and her Familiar to head out and hunt Fouquet down."
"I will ensure my soldiers who are on duty patrolling will give you any assistance they can manage, Louise Francoise. It is the least I can do." Henrietta sighs, before smiling at her friend.
"We're going too!"
The door suddenly slams open with that declaration, revealing Kirche and Tabitha.
"Z-Zerbst!? What are you doing here!?" Louise exclaims with a glare. "You are most certainly NOT coming with us! Its my mission! You aren't hogging the glory!"
"You two kind of would be dead weight anyway." Cell sniggers a little, his tail curling.
"Harsh!" Kirche gasps, holding a hand up to her generous bosom, which only seemed to make Louise angrier.
"Coming with." Tabitha shakes her head while Kirche nods with a firm and confident smirk.
"While it warms my old heart to see two talented students stepping up to the task, I do believe that this mission is one that Miss Valliere and Cell can handle themselves. With that we've seen, I think Cell alone is enough to handle Fouquet." Osmond chuckles, stroking his beard.
"Oh we know Headmaster. We're not going to provide support for Valliere's familiar." Kirche chuckles, shaking her head.
"Guard her." Tabitha nods.
"M-me?" The pinkette blinks in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Valliere, despite your Familiar's strength, let's face it, you're worthless at magic." Kirche chuckles, walking over and patting the pink haired girl on the head, prompting Louise to growl and slap her hand away. "We're going to protect you, because frankly, if Fouquet manages to somehow kill you, then that cuts off Cell's anchor, and then he'll either vanish…"
"…or rampage." Tabitha finishes, her expression grim.
"H-he wouldn't do that, r-right Cell?" Louise chuckles nervously, before looking at her Familiar.
…her suddenly very quiet Familiar.
"….Cell?"
"I meaaaaaaaan…" Cell trails off, shrugging. "You ARE the only reason I'm sticking around at all. If you did die, I'd probably go out and just go on a blender, drinking everyone left and right."
"…drinking everyone?" Colbert nervously utters. "As in..?"
"What did you think this was for?" Cell snorts, his tail raising up. "It's not just meant for magic. I can drink people with this. If mother died, I'd probably go and start draining the body matter of every last person in the countryside from the inside and systematically wipe out the population by consuming them one by one."
The room was suddenly very quiet, and very tense as every living being in the room stared right at the green monstrosity.
Louise was staring bug eyed at her Familiar. Kirche looked a little pale, and Tabitha looked just about ready to start throwing magic.
The teachers were all frozen solid, the Princess had a hand covering her mouth in horror, and even Old Osmond looked incredibly disturbed.
"…..w-well it's a good thing I'm not going to die then, isn't it?" Louise chuckles nervously after a few moments, tugging on her collar a little. "L-looks like I can't afford to get killed anytime soon so, e-erm, I-I accept the assistance from Zerbst and Tabitha?"
"Y-yes, good to know!" Kirche laughs with an anxious grin, while Tabitha nods quickly beside her.
"Jeez, lighten up, I was just fucking with you all." Cell snorts, before he receives a fist in the crotch from his master. "OW MY DICK FACE!"
"NEVER make a joke like that again you complete moron!" Louise growls, any fear she felt replaced with irritation as she stomps on one of Cell's toes. "Alright, let's get this bloody mission over with! Zerbst, Tabitha, march! We're going to catch a thief!"
With that, Louise stomps out of the room with Cell lumbering after her and grumbling. The two extra tagalongs look at each other for a moment and shrug, before they too follow after Louise.
The tension now shattered, the staff and one Princess sigh in relief.
"W-well, that was terrifying. I shall go and ensure my guards cooperate with her." Henrietta chuckles as she bows a little to Osmond and follows after the odd entourage.
As the teachers start to converse with one another about the situation, Osmond silently rubs his chin as his eyes narrow.
He could recognize when someone was joking.
Cell meant every word he said.
'Karin's youngest must never die at all costs… lest we end up with a catastrophe on our hands…' He muses mentally, briefly letting his hand move down to his pocket to pet his terrified mouse Familiar. '….perhaps I should allow Colbert to talk with her about the possibility of her being a Void mage. If she becomes aware of her potential, it makes the chances of her perishing at the hands of those who would seek to harm her far slimmer.'
Deep in the woods located a fair distance away from the academy, there was a shack. The building itself was made of simple wood, with only one window and door. Little more than a temporary place to rest from the elements.
Inside it, Fouquet was currently standing in awe, her eyes wide as she beholds the masterpiece in front of her.
The Golem of Destruction looked anything but like an artificial construct… yet it looked too perfect to be human.
How could any human have such a perfectly chiseled jawline? Or such profound and prominent eyebrows? Or such a unique flare of orange hair spiking up along the center of his scalp like the crest of a rooster? Or even such lovely taste in accessories such as those little hoop earrings?
That was only his face too. His body was tall, and covered in rippling muscles that his unusual green armor and black bodysuit could barely manage to conceal. He looked strong enough to suplex a manticore for Brimir's sake!
All Fouquet had done was press a button located in this tiny little latch, before it shut completely and the Golem's body stiffened, before steam rushed out of its ears and nostrils. Metallic grinding became audible as well as strange beeping as it almost vibrated in place before going still.
And then its eyes opened.
Perfect, icy blue eyes that betrayed no emotion. Just silence. Tranquility.
"…..God in heaven…" Fouquet murmured as she finds herself raising a hand nervously, her limb moving up towards the Golem's face.
Its eyes focus on her hand, causing her to stiffen, before they trail towards her face again, as if appraising her. Taking this as a 'go ahead', she lays her hand on the side of the Golem's cheek, feeling his smooth, perfectly sculpted cheekbone.
"…you're perfect…" Fouquet whispers. This Golem… was perfection. How could anyone manage to create such a perfect being? Even now with her magic, she could tell this wasn't any ordinary Golem. It wasn't made of stone, but metal. Despite how realistic its skin felt, this Golem's entire body was made of pure metal, of a kind she couldn't place nor even hope to try and manipulate. It was such high quality, so foreign, that she couldn't even imagine how difficult it must be to think of creating a Golem out of such materials.
It wasn't just metal either. There were other things, odd plebian machines like the ones Colbert would show off and fawn over in his personal study, but on a far more advanced and complicated scale. She could 'feel' them with her magic, working together to power this Golem on the inside.
"Your heart rate is skyrocketing into unhealthy levels."
Fouquet almost jumped when she heard the flat, but masculine voice leave the Golem.
It spoke.
The Golem could speak. It could SPEAK!
"Y-you.. can talk…" She murmurs, a wide smile blooming on her face.
"Affirmative. I am capable of speech and have been programmed to be fluent in over twenty different languages." The Golem inclines its head briefly in a facsimile of a nod. "You reactivated me. Why?"
"Because… well, it was an accident really." She lowers her hand, rubbing her chin a little. "I attempted to activate you using magic but you didn't seem to respond to it, so I fiddled with your… latch? And pressed something."
"You activated my emergency restart. A button exists in chest armor's primary maintenance latch to jump start my systems in the event of a power failure." The ginger Golem stares at her without blinking.
Fouquet stared at the Golem as it… talked about its.. 'systems'? Did the Golem have a far more complicated method of awakening than she thought?
"How are you powered? Do you run on a magical artifact?" She tilts her head, curiosity egging at her mind.
"Negative. My body is powered by a perpetual energy core. I do not possess the blueprints for it, so I am incapable of explaining how to create it." The Golem shakes its head, its eyes briefly darting towards the window when the sound of some chirping birds becomes audible.
"A… perpetual energy core? I suppose it must be some sort of unique golem energy core, like the heart cores found in some slimes… what happens if it runs out of power? How long can you remain activated?" She frowns a little.
It was a question she dreaded asking, but such a perfect model of a Golem had to have some sort of expensive core to keep it running with drawbacks-
"I can remain activated indefinitely."
"WHAT!?" The green haired mage's jaw drops at hearing that. "I-indefinitely!? How!?"
"The energy core powering me perpetually regenerates the amount of energy it creates endlessly. I have an infinite amount of energy to draw on, but a limited output. Now that I have been reactivated, I can remain active indefinitely, without ever shutting down." The Golem declares, still looking out the window, before it started to slowly step towards the door.
"T-that's impossible… a Golem with infinite power to run on…?" Fouquet murmurs to herself, her mind racing with possibilities, before she snaps out of it as she notices the ginger giant moving towards the door. "W-wait, where are you going?"
"Outside. I wish to scan my surroundings." It states, before walking through the door, knocking it off its hinges as his shoulders end up smashing through the door frame, creating a Golem shaped hole where the doorframe used to be.
Fouquet stares at the Golem's back (and it's perfectly sculpted behind) before she slowly starts to follow it.
"D-do you have a name?"
"I am designated as Android 16."
"I…. think I will just refer to you as Sixteen. My name is Fouquet."
"As you wish, Fouquet."
Cell felt a disturbance in the force.
He wasn't sure how… or why…
…but someone was being described as having some sort of perfect physical feature…
…and it wasn't him.
"Hmmmm…." Cell hums to himself, eyes narrowed dangerously as he cups his chin.
"You aren't that upset that you aren't flying are you?"
The bio-android blinks before looking at his summoner, who in front of him, her back resting against his chest.
Oh right, they were riding a dragon.
After a quick rundown from a couple of guards (who looked scared shitless in his presence, pussies) that they think Fouquet may have escaped into the forest a good hour or so away from the school grounds, they decided to take Sylphid there, and Louise had barred him from flying off on his own.
In her own words; "I refuse to let you fly there on your own, and I don't want to hang on for dear life as you zoom across the sky, so we're both riding Tabitha's dragon."
He could have flown there in like, five minutes, scoured the woods for a ki signature that wasn't an animal's, and then boom, grab the thief, bring 'em back, problem solved. But nooooooo…..
"I'm still a little peeved, but honestly, riding a dragon for the first time is pretty neat." Cell shrugs, lightly patting the big blue dragon's flank. Sylphid cooed pleasantly at that, making Cell almost gush.
How could something so massive be so damn cute?
"I know, right? Tabitha has it so lucky!" Kirche exclaims, sitting between Louise and the aforementioned blue haired ice mage, her cleavage resting on Tabitha's head.
The bespectacled girl looked stoic as ever, but there was a slight twitch to her eyelid.
"Can you sense anything yet Cell?" Louise asks as she keeps her hands on his thighs, refusing to have to wrap her arms around Kirche for support.
The day she does that is the day she might as well drop her wand and try to fight with a sword instead. Preposterous.
"Kinda, I feel someone out there in those woods. Definitely not an animal. You sure I can't just fly there? It'd be way faster." Cell tilts his head, staring down at his pouting master.
"This is our first mission, one delegated by the headmaster and approved by the Princess! I refuse to let you just… speedrun it!"
"Aw c'mon, I could totally get it done under five minutes! Maybe less. I dunno, I'm not exactly the fastest in the universe-" Yet. "- but I'm close."
"I shudder to wonder who is the fastest in the universe if it isn't you and your ridiculous set of powers." Louise huffs.
Meanwhile, in another reality.
"Alright suckers, its your boy Burter here, I'm joined by my best friend Jeice-"
"G'day mates!"
"-and today we're gonna show you how to do a speedrun of Bloodborne, WITH a friend controlling one half of the controller while you control the other half! This is gonna be quick, this gonna be difficult, but if things turn out well, it'll go down in history. First off, lets speedrun through this character creation. Jeice? What do we name him?"
"Something quick and simple mate… like Lirran."
"Groovy."
Fouquet watches as the Golem, now dubbed Sixteen, looks around the forest they were located in.
The very fact that his name was a number was both worrying, and exciting. It meant that he was the sixteenth in his line, meaning that there could potentially be a Seventeen and Eighteen, or even more than that.
Maybe she should ask… later.
"So, Sixteen…. Who created you?" She stepped up beside him as he looked around the forest. She could hear some faint beeping and whirring coming from his head. Odd.
"I was created by Doctor Gero."
"Is he an earth mage from anywhere near here?"
"Negative, Doctor Gero is not capable of magic."
"W-what?" Her eyes widen as she hears this. "B-but then.. how did he make you?"
"Technology."
Technology…? But that meant… This perfect Golem was made by… a COMMONER!?
A large part of Fouquet felt a massive blow to her pride as she realized this. Such a perfect artificial construct... made by a commoner.
Another part of her felt… glee.
If a mere commoner could create such a thing…
…that means it couldn't be a process too difficult now, could it? If a mere commoner could do it, then she most certainly could do the same!
"So… how did he make you? In detail if possible." She leans into his peripherals so he can focus on her, only to be disappointed as he merely glances at her for half a second before continuing to look around.
"I cannot answer that. All details on how he created me have been encrypted. I could not tell you even if I wanted to." He states bluntly as he scans around, either not noticing or ignoring Fouquet's pout.
No, she was frowning. A grown woman does not pout.
Still, this Gero person keeps his secrets under a heavy lock it seems…
"And where is this Doctor Gero now?"
"I do not know. It is my understanding that he perished at the time of my activation." He declares, his brow furrowing a little. "As it is now, with the data I have collected from scanning our surroundings, I am unable to geographically place where on the planet we are. I will need to find a landmark."
'Not that a landmark will help. If my brief glimpse of the two moons meant anything before I deactivated from that power failure, I am not on Earth anymore. I am not equipped for space travel, and from preliminary scans of this woman and the lack of electronic interference or radio signals detected, it seems this planet is still in a medieval stage.' Sixteen ruminated in his electronic brain, his mind drawing up plans that all end with a big X for failure. 'My mission has failed. I will be unable to kill Son Goku.'
"I… see. I can help you with that I suppose, but.. what are you going to do?" Fouquet asked, a little nervous.
Sixteen was… God help her, he seemed sentient, if a bit unusual in how he speaks. What if he wasn't just perfectly simulating life… but actually had thoughts and a soul of his own? Less of a Golem, and more like… a homunculus?
"I had but one reason for existence, but I am unable to achieve it. I have no purpose to live." Sixteen states, feeling an odd sense of…
…disappointment.
Was this was disappointment felt like?
"I see.. well… what do you want to do?" She puts a hand on his arm, causing him to look down at her. "Do you have any wishes? Desires? Erm, hobbies?"
'I wish to kill Son Goku.' He briefly thinks, before shaking his head. Son Goku was not here. He wished for nothing else but that, so he had no answer to that question.
"Well… maybe we should find you things to do that you might enjoy. Like a hobby, let's get you a hobby!" Fouquet smiles, feeling an unnatural desire to… to make Sixteen find a purpose.
"….why do you wish to help me?" The Android couldn't help but ask, trying to draw up logical reasons but failing to find any.
"I… well, to be honest, when I first laid eyes on you, I thought you were perfect. But now that you've talked… I can see that some things about you are flawed, from a more… personal standpoint. You look human, and can speak, but you seem to lack something that makes someone human." The thief answers, her cheeks reddening just a little. "I… for some reason, I wish to help you find that something. Make you... whole."
Sixteen stares at her for a few moments, before he nods. "Understood. And you believe that a hobby will help me find a reason to exist?"
"Well, it's a good start as any, no? Let's find you a hobby!" She nods back at him, unable to stop herself from pulling down her hood to show her face more, feeling completely at ease.
"Affirmative. Acquiring hobby." He nods, before he looks up at the trees, his brain formulating ideas and plans on how to find a 'hobby', or think of something he would enjoy doing besides trying to kill Son Goku…
…before his eyes land on a birds nest.
His icy eyes stare and focus on a nest of bluebird hatchlings, currently chirping as they squabbled over a worm that their mother dangled over their heads.
And beside him, Fouquet felt cupid's arrow pierce right through her heart as she saw a small, soft smile form on Sixteen's lips.
'Oh Brimir save me, I think I'm in love with a Golem…' The thief laments, sighing with resignation.
"Are we close?" Louise asked to her monstrous Familiar as Sylphid glided over the canopy of the forest.
"Very. In fact, we're about to go right over him."
"W-what!? Give me a warning next time if we're THAT close! Tabitha, set us down!" The pinkette exclaims, receiving a nod from her blue haired classmate.
"Alright, lets go!" Cell exclaims as he wraps an arm around Louise's waist, prompting a startled squeak from her.
"W-wait, Cell, don't you dare-"
"GERONIMO!" The bug monster yells as he leaps off the side of the blue dragon's body and falls down through the air, Louise screaming in his arms.
The dragon's remaining two passengers stare down after the Cell's falling body, before Kirche lets out a small chuckle.
"Things are never going to get boring with those two around, are they?"
"No."
"-AAAAAAHHH!" Louise's shriek pierces through the forest as she's jostled in Cell's arms the moment the bio-android lands on the forest floor with a heavy thud, her fists smacking into his chest with fury. "YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT! I OUGHT TO STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR OWN TAIL!"
"Didn't take you for the kinky sort mother." Cell snickers as he sets her down, only to receive a punch in the crotch again. "OW, MY DICK FACE AGAIN!"
"NEVER use 'kinky' and 'mother' in the same sentence again you vulgar, ridiculous, giant green-"Louise begins to launch into a tirade, only to notice something out of the corner of her eye.
It was…. Miss Longueville, Old Osmond's secretary… standing next to the TALLEST man she's ever seen, wearing strange green armor, a black skintight suit underneath it, and with a crest of orange hair on his head.
They were both staring at her and Cell.
"…Miss Longueville? What are you doing here?" Louise asks as she steps closer, only to be pulled back by Cell as he walks in front of her towards the two.
"Ain't it obvious mother? It looks like the thief was her all along… explains why she went missing at least." He hums, tilting his head. "So THAT big guy must be the Golem of Destruction… except.."
Cell couldn't help but smile widely, his pupils dilating as he glances at the red logo on the 'Golem's chest.
"I know a Red Ribbon logo when I see one. You're a Cyborg, aren't you? Made by dear old Doctor Gero… just like me."
The orange haired man narrowed his glacial eyes, before turning fully to face Cell. "Affirmative. I am Android 16. What are you? I am detecting multiple different genetic structures making up your body… including…"
Sixteen's eyes widen imperceptibly. "Son Goku."
"….erm… Cell? Is he…like you?" Louise nervously looks at her Familiar, who nods with a chuckle, which turns into a full blown bellowing laugh.
"OHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA! I can't believe it! And to think I was gonna be spending my days here without a challenge! Or a meal…. You said you're number… Sixteen? Shame, I was looking for Seventeen and Eighteen…" Cell trails off with a rasping hiss, before his tail slams into the ground beside him. "But you'll do for now… Mother, step back. I'm about to have some lunch."
"W-what!? But we have to bring him back to the vault! You can't just... DRINK him!" Louise exclaims only for Cell's tail to gently push her back a few steps.
"Even if I wanted to do that, I don't think the big guy would come quietly, ain't that right?" Cell hisses with glee, tilting his head in a birdlike manner.
"Affirmative. I have been told to find a hobby in order to find a reason to exist. I was in the process of enjoying said hobby before you arrived. Now however…" Sixteen trails off dangerously before holding a hand out to the green haired thief beside him. "Fouquet. Stand back. I must destroy him."
"Are you sure? I've seen that Familiar in action, it isn't a joke how powerful it is." Fouquet's eyes narrow as she takes a few steps back, ready to pull out her wand and support him with magic if she had to.
"My scans indicate that his power level isn't at a level to be concerned about yet." Sixteen states, squaring his shoulders. "This is fortunate however. Had I known you existed, I would have hunted you down myself… Cell, was it?"
"That's right… and why's that, redheaded stepchild? Want to get some family bonding done yourself?" Cell slowly lowers himself into a fighting stance, one reminiscent of Piccolo's own, with his hands forming claws, his black nails sharpening into points, tail swaying dangerously behind him.
"I was designed for the sole purpose of destroying Son Goku. Upon arriving in this world through a strange wormhole that jump-started my activation and temporarily shortcircuited my power systems, I was denied the chance to fulfill that purpose." Sixteen slowly starts to walk towards Cell.
Suddenly, the bio-android felt… a tension in the air.
He couldn't sense a damn thing from Sixteen… but from how mechanically and confidently his 'brother' was strutting towards him…
...he kind of felt a little nervous.
"However, from my scans, it seems your DNA is comprised of approximately 10.78% of Son Goku's DNA." The Android states as he continues to slowly walk towards Cell. "These parameters…"
Suddenly, with a burst of movement, he rushed through the air and appeared right in front of a wide eyed and slack jawed Cell, Sixteen's right fist cocked back for a punch.
"…are acceptable."
"Aw beans-" Cell barely got out, before his face erupted into a world of pain as Sixteen's fist crashes right into his face and caves it in with a single blow, crushing his brain in mulch and sending his body flying back through the air.
Cell's body shot past a wide eyed and trembling Louise, who barely managed to follow his trajectory with her head, and crashed through several different trees, before smashing into the ground and kicking up dirt and dust.
Louise stared after her utterly trounced Familiar, unable to even muster up the courage to turn and look at his opponent as Sixteen slowly walks right past her and towards the crater created by Cell's body.
And all Fouquet could do while watching this, was smile wider than she's done in years.
"-owwwwww fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…" Cell groans as his face regenerates the damage done to it slowly.
That punch completely shattered his skull and obliterated his brain.
What the FUCK Gero!? Why the hell wasn't THIS guy one of the Cyborgs he had to absorb to reach perfection!?
"It seems you are capable of regenerating damage done to your body."
Cell growls as he hears Sixteen state the obvious while strutting towards him like freaking Arnold Schwarzenegger, before he pulls himself out of the crater, his tail lashing around behind him angrily.
"That was a cheap shot, prick."
"You would have done the same." Sixteen fires back.
"True, but still, dick move. You've got a lot of strength though… kinda surprised, considering I've never heard of you." Cell wipes some purple blood off the corner of his mouth, chuckling dryly. "Guess the good Doctor had a few more secrets up his sleeve."
"I was deemed a failure and thus remained in storage, for reasons I am unable to ascertain. That is the most likely reason." The ginger giant states bluntly.
"Of course the soulless and ginger, though the two aren't mutually exclusive, machine is the failure… wow, that's a stereotype and a half." Cell chuckles, eyes briefly darting up to Sixteen's orange hair, before focusing back on his face. "Still… you've got a LOT of power… it'd be a shame if somebody…. TOOK IT!"
With that roar, Cell lunges towards his 'brother', who continues to slowly walk at him without an ounce of hesitation.
As soon as Cell got within arm's reach, Sixteen's right hand shoots up and grabs him by the wrist, before he yanks Cell closer and delivers a solid left hook into his stomach, prompting Cell to let out a pained wheeze.
"O-Oof! Fuck, that was a good one… but you're wide open!"
Sixteen's eyes widened for a moment when Cell's tail comes up from behind him, stretching its length around before the tapered tip jabs right into his neck, sinking all the way till the base.
"GOTCHA!" Cell exclaims with glee. "Shame I had to end this so soon, but there's no way I'm letting power like this remain out of MY grasp! But don't worry 'brother'… cuz now, you'll be a part of me-EEEEEAGH!"
The bio-android flinched, and flinched HARD when he tried to drain Sixteen's biomatter… only for it to suck in nothing, and receive a sharp pain in response as his tail's opening tightened up in reflex.
It was the kind of pain you get when you have Proctalgia, a sharp stabbing sensation in his tail's opening.
Except a hundred times worse.
"O-ow ow ow fuck that stings…" Cell groans, quivering in pain a little.
"Are you done?" Sixteen asks, unblinking.
"Fuck, one moment, lemme try that again, fuck, shouldn't have gone in dry… ahem, soon, you'll be a part, of me-FUCKING FUCK!" Cell yelps again as his tail tries to drain Sixteen once more, only to receive a far sharper pain in his tail.
At this point, Sixteen simply let go of Cell, who collapsed onto the forest floor as his tail pulled itself out of the ginger giant's neck and curled up on the ground.
Cell massages the tip to try and relieve the pain for a moment, his eyes glaring up at Sixteen in complete befuddlement. "Jeez guy, what the fuck are you made of, pure metal!?"
"Affirmative. I am ANDROID 16." Sixteen replies, unable to stop himself from smirking just a little.
"…oh." Cell blinks owlishly. "…..errors have been made."
The two remain there for a few moments, the distant sounds of crickets and birds chirping being the only noises in the woods.
"…don't suppose it's too late to ask for a quick time out?"
"Talk to the hand." Sixteen bluntly declares as he cranes his fist back once more.
"That's fair-OOOGH!" Cell grunts as he's punched in the face once more, his head almost flying right off his torso as he's slammed down onto his back, head bouncing off the forest floor roughly. "Fuck, okay, no more mister nice guy-wait what are you doing?"
Sixteen suddenly grabbed him by one of his cranial protrusions and his thigh, before the android lifts him up into the air.
"H-hey hey hey, bad touch! I don't consent to this!"
"Your compliance isn't a factor." Sixteen declares, before he slams Cell back down into the dirt with far greater force than Cell thought necessary, causing another crater to form in that forest.
"AGH! You sonuva-OOF! OW! FUCK!"
And then proceeded to start stomping him into the ground, each impact pushing Cell deeper and deeper into the ground, the crater turning into more of a well with every stomp of Sixteen's foot.
"Valliere, what did we miss-who on earth is THAT!?" Kirche exclaims as she and Tabitha finally land, finding enough space for Sylphid to land on the ground, her eyes staring at Sixteen.
"T-that's.. the G-Golem of Destruction… h-he's under Fouquet's control and he's KILLING CELL!" Louise screams out, her face pale as she cups her hands around her mouth. "CELL! GET UP AND FIGHT HIM DAMN IT!"
"FUCKING TRYING! OW! AGH!" Was the distant, pained and muffled reply.
"….Longueville was Fouquet?" Tabitha asks as she turns to regard the green haired mage, who didn't even bother to draw her wand on them, simply watching the one-sided beatdown.
"Indeed. I put up with that old fool's shenanigans for so long, just so I could steal the Golem… and he's even more wonderful than I imagined~!" Fouquet sighs, cupping her cheeks. "Look at how powerful he is… completely destroying Valliere's monstrous Familiar! Go get him Sixteen! You can do it!"
"Your support is unnecessary, but welcome!" The android replied back without turning his head, before lifting his foot one final time, and then slamming it down onto Cell's stomach, driving the bio-android deeper into the earth, sending him crashing through the ground at least several dozen feet.
"F-fight back Cell! Beat that oversized golem!" Louise growls, shooting a brief glare at an oblivious Fouquet, before she pulls her wand out.
If that Golem was going to beat her Familiar down so ruthlessly… then she'll have to fight Fouquet and hopefully cut off its power source by beating her!
"A-aaaaaaagh! This is bullshit! Where the fuck am I!?" Cell growls out as he lifts his head up inside the depths of the earthen tunnel he had inadvertently created from getting curb-stomped.
His eyes blink when he notices a bright yellow glow emanating from above, illuminating him a little. "Hang on… I can see a light..."
"Walk towards it!"
"Wait wha-OH YOU MOTHERFU-"
That was as far as Cell got before an enormous ki blast filled up the tunnel and introduced him to a whole new brand of pain, one that absolutely burned.
Louise was about to fire off a spell at the distracted Fouquet, only for a massive explosion of sound and heat to knock her, and the other three women off their balance. Her hair flailed around in the backdraft as she turned to see the Golem, Sixteen, currently firing hot yellow beams of energy from his currently DETACHED ELBOWS!?
"CELL!" Louise screams out in fear, seeing the energy blast fill up the makeshift grave and caused an eruption of earth and heat.
After a few seconds, the energy beam subsides as Sixteen reattaches his arms and flexes his fingers. His eyes narrow as he stares down into the smoldering pit he'd created.
"Come out. I know that wasn't enough to kill you."
"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT!"
With an eruption of stone and soil, Cell rockets out of the tunnel at high speed, his body smoking as he manages to catch Sixteen off-guard and slam a fist right into his jaw, sending the android flying back a few feet before he rights himself in the air and lands on the ground with a loud thud.
"Alright asshole, you wanna play hardball!?" Cell growls out, his forehead bulging with furious veins as his eyes twitch, tail lashing around like a viper, before he squares his shoulders and crouches, an aura of white Ki erupting around him as he powers up, dirt and stones rising into the air from his exerted energy. "LET'S FUCKING GO!"
Round two had begun.
So, I felt that since it'd been literally years since I updated, I'd give you all something special and upload two chapters within a short period of time. Just to treat you all.
I had a bit of a blast writing Sixteen. Who I will refer to using 'Sixteen' instead of '16'. Simply because... well, it just felt off for me to use '16'. The boy's special, he deserves letters and capitalization.
Anyway, for those wondering, yes, this fight is a little one-sided. At this moment, Sixteen is leagues above Cell in terms of power. Cell draining a few golems of magic unfortunately doesn't equate to the most likely thousands of people he absorbed from multiple different towns before he fights Sixteen in the original anime or in the abridged series.
Piccolo: How..? HOW MANY PEOPLE!?
Cell: ...enough.
I thought I'd just show I'm aware that this fight is gonna be an uphill battle, because I know that with every DBZ fanfic, even if this one is slightly crack-ish, there's always gonna be someone who's super into power scaling and stuff. Which I respect.
So yeah, hope you all enjoyed Sixteen's debut, and the references to not just DBZA, but also that little Terminator reference I slipped in there.
Toodles, see you guys next update.