This is like 2k words long and by far the longest thing I have written in years. It's also plotless fluff. Sorry. I've also edited it like a million times. I remember why I never write long things.
My beloved Sanjana, this is for you.
You know I don't own Jimmy. Right?
Heaven
She can hear her parents raised voices through the door. It's ironic that on Christmas, a day for family, hers was falling apart. Holidays brought out the worst in her parents, and this one had been particularly nasty. Perhaps it was because her father brought up another out of town conference. Maybe it was that her mother had been sneaking rum when she'd thought she wasn't looking. Either way, when her mother said, "I want a divorce!" Cindy's stomach sunk. She couldn't breathe. So, she grabbed her shoes and went outside—slamming the door behind her.
"Some Christmas gift," she comments to herself.
The development hadn't surprised her. She'd expected it for a while. But hearing the words made it real. Her parents would be getting divorced. The months to come would be torture. There would be countless arguments over who got what, and they would expect her to take sides. She closes her eyes, imagining herself in a desolate location where her parents couldn't find her. A place where the constant pressure to succeed wouldn't hang around her neck like a noose. Somewhere her parents weren't currently calling each other every vile word in the dictionary. There would be snow, a roaring fire—a hot cup of coffee with cinnamon in her hands, and a warm blanket on her lap.
"Bitch!" That brings her back to the real world faster than a cold hard slap. She wasn't in that place. She was in hell.
"Cindy?" A familiar voice asks. NO. This couldn't be happening. Not when her heart would crack open with the slightest pressure.
Hesitantly, she opens her eyes to see the young man standing on the sidewalk in front of her. He hadn't changed much in the three months he'd been gone. She remembers watching him through her window, aching to run over and tell him how much she loved him. Instead, she closed the curtains and let him go without even saying goodbye. She hates herself for thinking about that now. When she spots a brown bag in his hands, she's thankful for the distraction. "Doing some last-minute grocery shopping, I see."
"Dad forgot to pick up the cherries for the pie yesterday. He insisted I get some. It's a miracle I found any. For both of us."
"I bet! Pie is an orgasmic experience for your dad," she teases.
Neutron doesn't flinch at her crassness. Instead, he raises his eyebrows curiously. "Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" She can't help herself. A beast was awake inside of her, and there was no getting rid of it now.
"No. That's why I asked," he retorts.
"It's not any of your business, Neutron."
There's more yelling from inside. Comprehension dawns on Neutron's face. An awkward silence falls between them until he clears his throat. "Have you eaten?"
"Why?"
"We have a lot of food. You could uh," he stutters, "join us if you want."
The ice around her heart melts a little. "Really?"
He nods. "Mom would love to have you."
She picks at a fingernail and is disgusted to discover the polish has started to chip. It's this imperfection that drives her to follow him across the street. The inside of the Neutron house smells delicious like cookies, cinnamon, and something else she can't quite put her finger on.
"I'm home!" Jimmy announces as they take off their shoes.
"Thank goodness. I was getting worried! We're in the kitchen, dear!" Mrs. Neutron calls back.
"You can wait here if you'd be more comfortable," Jimmy says before heading into the kitchen.
The place hadn't changed much since she was last here. There are a few new photos on the walls and a tree decorated with ornaments in the corner. She spots a ceramic handprint with JIMMY AGE 5 untidily scrawled at the bottom when she gets closer. It's hideous. She laughs as she takes it in her hands.
"Cindy, this is a surprise!" Mrs. Neutron announces, and Cindy almost drops the ornament. Jimmy's mother stands in the doorway; her hair and apron dusted with flour. "You'll have to forgive my appearance; I wasn't expecting guests."
"I'm sorry! Neu-I mean Jimmy, said it would be okay."
Mrs. Neutron smiles warmly. "There is no need to apologize. We are happy to have you. It's been a while since we've seen you around."
There's an unspoken question in her statement, but Cindy is not ready to answer it. So, she shrugs. "Been busy, I guess."
"Would you like to join us in the kitchen? Don't feel like you need to. You are our guest, after all."
"Sure."
"You can help Jimmy peel the potatoes."
Her heart gives a pitter-patter like an uneven drummer in her chest. She follows Mrs. Neutron into the kitchen. She sees Mr. Neutron working on arranging some cookies, Jimmy is at the sink, and Goddard is sleeping in the corner. Something about the scene makes her ache. She fights off the urge to run in the opposite direction and makes her way over to Jimmy.
"I see she enlisted you too," he chuckles.
"She did. Do you have an extra peeler?"
He points to a drawer not far from where she's standing. She pulls out the small tool and joins him again. They work side by side, their arms brushing occasionally. Each time is more thrilling than the last. After they finish, the potatoes go in a pot filled with water, and the peels go in the trash.
"Is there anything else we can do to help, mom?" Jimmy asks.
We. We. The simple word bounces around in her head.
"Could you do vegetables? Make sure to wash them well."
Jimmy goes to the refrigerator. He pulls out baby carrots, a container of cherry tomatoes, a can of black olives, a head of broccoli, and a jar of green olives. Cindy washes them, and Jimmy takes them from her. When she passes him the broccoli, their fingertips brush, and his gaze meets hers. The room grows warm as tingles shiver up her spine. A moment passes, and then she snaps her hand away as if she has been burned.
She steps back, relieved to put some space between them. She sees Mrs. Neutron smiling at her in a way that makes her confident the older woman could see through her.
"Sugar booger, we need more duck cookies next year," Mr. Neutron declares. It breaks the strange moment.
"Of course, Hugh."
"Bark bark!"
"Looks like Goddard needs to go out."
"I'll take him," Cindy bursts out before anyone can protest.
Once she's outside, she takes a deep breath, trying to clear her head. Not even ten minutes with Neutron, and her heart is all aflutter. It's almost as if he'd never left.
Goddard brushes against her ankles, and she bends down to pat his head. "Why is this so complicated, Goddard?"
"Bark bark!" Goddard reveals his screen to type the words- Tell him how you feel?
"I don't think that's a good idea, boy." He whines in response, and Cindy sighs. "Trust me."
She lingers for a few minutes longer and then goes back inside. She's taking off her shoes when Jimmy finds her. "There you are. The food is ready, so you can dish up your plate and join us."
"Okay."
She gets food and goes into the dining room. The table is so small she's almost sitting in Neutron's lap.
"I hope you are hungry because sugar booger makes a mean Christmas dinner. I never eat early in the day so that I can stuff myself to the point of bursting!" Mr. Neutron says.
"Hugh, behave yourself!"
"Never! I will sing your praises to the highest mountain!" He takes a deep breath and begins to sing off pitch to the tune of Silent Night. "SU-GAR BOO-GER YOU-ARE THE BEST COOK E-VER. I-WANT-TO KI-SS YOU."
Jimmy flushes. "Dad."
Cindy can't help herself; she laughs out loud. It feels good.
"Let's eat."
The only sound while they eat is the tinkle of forks and knives against their plates. Everything is delicious, and the cherry pie is to die for. She could understand why Mr. Neutron went on about it all the time. But what astounds her the most is the overwhelming sense of the Neutron's love for each other. It's in the gentle way Mrs. Neutron brushes her fingers against her husband's elbow how Jimmy protests when his father steals a kiss. Like an echo, her love for Jimmy surges up in her own heart unbidden.
When all of their plates are empty, Mr. Neutron pats his belly with a happy sigh. "That was delicious."
"It was the best meal I've had in a long time," Cindy agrees.
"Who's up for a lively game of Name That Scientist?" Jimmy asks.
"You know very well it's your turn to do the dishes, young man."
"Mom!"
Judy's eyes flick to Cindy as a sly smile crosses her lips."Maybe Cindy will help you if you ask nicely."
Once his parents have gone into the other room, Jimmy turns to her. The old spark of contention flickers inside of her. "You are kidding me, right?"
"Please?" He sincerely asks.
"You'll owe me big time after this."
"Whatever you desire shall be yours, Miss Vortex."
Even if it's you? She brushes that thought away quickly. "Fine, but you will be doing the washing."
To her surprise, he does so without complaint. They've been working a while before he finally asks the question she's been dreading all night.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?"
"You've been gone a while. A lot has happened."
"Cindy," his tone tells her he's not going to accept that answer.
"My parents were fighting again. One thing led to another, and mom-" she takes a deep breath. "She said she wants a divorce. It's my senior year of high school, and my parents are getting a divorce. As if my life isn't stressful enough."
"I'm sorry."
"I'll survive."
"There's no question about that. You are one of the strongest people I know," he declares.
The unexpected compliment makes her look over at him. She can't help but notice how his shoulder is precisely level with hers. Their bodies are like two puzzle pieces waiting to be put together. She quickly changes gears. "At least I have a fighting chance at valedictorian with you gone. How was your first semester, by the way?"
"It was fulfilling, challenging, and thrilling. But, if I'm honest, I occasionally find myself homesick."
"I can see why. You have people here who love you."
"I do?" He inquires as he turns towards her.
Her heart stutters in her chest. She can feel her confession heavy on her tongue. But Jimmy Neutron deserved someone who could be there for him. With the demands of school and her ambitions, she wasn't that person. That's why she had let him go the first time around. The added development of divorce made it even harder.
"You-you…" she stutters under the weight of his awaiting gaze.
"Yes?"
"You have Carl and Sheen, your parents, and Goddard."
There's a flash of disappointment in his eyes, and then he frowns. "Can I ask you something else?"
"Is there any stopping you?"
"Why didn't you say goodbye?" He asks.
"I-I-" she stutters. Her eyes flick to his mouth. She'd just have to move a fraction of an inch, and they'd be kissing. "I couldn't."
"I see," he snaps, turning back to the sink. He scrubs on a pot so hard she thinks he might burn through it with friction.
She curses herself for her cowardice. Her stupid rationalizations. Why couldn't she be vulnerable for five seconds? He deserved to know why she hadn't shown up that day. He deserved to know that she loved him. She should've just kissed him! What is wrong with you, Cindy?
"Cindy?"
"Hmm?" She sees the outstretched pot in his hands, waiting to be dried. She takes it and turns away from him.
It's at this moment that Mrs. Neutron comes back into the kitchen. "How's it coming in here?"
"We're done," Jimmy answers.
"Oh, good! We are about to start a movie. Will you be staying, Cindy?"
"I should get home. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Neutron."
"It's my pleasure. You are welcome here anytime." She looks between them with a twinkle in her eye. "Jimmy, you should walk Cindy home. Your father and I can start the movie without you."
"Oh, that's not necessary-" Cindy starts to argue.
"I want to," Jimmy declares, putting her argument to rest.
So, she slips on her shoes and says goodnight to Mr. and Mrs. Neutron.
While she walks side by side with Neutron back across the street, there is so much she wants to say, but the words slip through her fingers. When they reach her door, her mouth finally connects to her brain. "Thank you for tonight. It was nice."
"It was."
"I'm so full I won't eat for a year."
"I wouldn't advise that," he laughs for a moment, and then his eyes lock onto hers. The moment thickens and slows. "I've missed you, Cindy."
"I've missed you too."
"May I see you again while I'm home?"
"I'll think about it."
"Merry Christmas, Cindy."
"Merry Christmas."
He leans forward and kisses her cheek. It's short, but it's enough to make her skin tingle. She watches in shock as he walks back to his house, giving her a smile and wave before disappearing inside. Her hand rises to cup her cheek as her mouth forms a silent o.
Even though she has to go back and face hell, at least for one blissful moment, she'd beheld heaven.