Chapter 25

Annie jolted awake as an anguished sound penetrated the walls. She stumbled out of bed not yet having full control of her limbs but not wanting to waste time. Her unsteady legs somehow carrying her into the living room. As she caught sight of an extremely distressed yet still sleeping Bucky, a scream ripped from his mouth as his hand desperately clutched the fold out couch.

Her tremor of fear was shallowed down as she quickly travelled to Bucky, cautious of the metal arm that lashed out. She leant over him, holding his face in her hands firmly so he could feel it.

"Bucky, it's a dream, Bucky" She called, her worry rising up again.

His eyes snapped open and darted around a space which was not the one they were currently in. Bucky was stuck in another time and place. One that was of horror. His stiff form bolted up into a seated position as he twisted and wrung but Annie maintained her strong hold, attempting to direct his gaze at her calling "Bucky?"

His hand griped her wrist tightly causing Annie to cringe but she kept her contact with him as she reassured calmly, "Bucky, its Annie. You are having a nightmare, you need to wake up. Please Bucky." Her face tightened painfully as she begged, "Come back."

His struggling ceased, his gaze flooding with recognition as he looked at her not through her. His jagged breathing deepened and slowed as his hand released her arm.

Her thumb smoothed over his cheek as she calmed, "Bucky you are in a motel with me, Annie. We're safe."

"Annie?" Bucky expelled breathily still recovering.

She nodded with a small smile of relief. "What-" Bucky started but couldn't finish as his chaotic mind wondered.

He turned away ashamed of what Annie had just witnessed, he didn't want her to have to deal with his side of him. She determinedly guided his face back to her attempting to pull him from his dark thoughts. "Bucky you had a nightmare, or an episode. It's okay now. Steve went through the same thing after the war and still does. I had them too for a while, not as bad though. You are fine Bucky," Annie continued to sooth. She saw a flash of light as the memory of the man disintegrating in front of her in the HYDRA battle replayed.

Bucky felt his rapid heart calm at her soft voice and warm hands holding his head. "Did you help Steve?" Bucky asked to which Annie nodded. "How did you do it?"

Her eyes darted to the side as he had noticed she did when she had to recall something. He seemed to notice a lot when it came to Annie; he would have to wonder about that later.

Annie thought hard and answered carefully, "When that kind of thing happens you're in a different place. A time of trauma for you. I think you have to find a way to get back to reality or at least a better time, to calm down. When Steve wakes up disorientated and screaming I would stroke his head." Bucky gave her an inquisitive look to which she continued with a warm smile as she evoked the memory, "When Steve was little and Mum was… still with us, she would get him to sleep by stroking his head. So in that way the action at least bring him back to a happy time to peacefully wake up from."

Bucky wanted that. He didn't mean Annie stroking his head, thought that was a pleasant thought. No he wanted to have a warm memory to recall, one that was pure enough to make the world seem better than it was. He didn't care how many horrible ones he had to discover to get it. He knew he had one.

"I don't know what to do with you though, sorry," Annie admitted sheepishly, drawing Bucky's focus back to her. He did realise when but her hands had fallen from his face, something he just realised he missed greatly.

"Your singing," Bucky blurted without thinking. Why had he said that?

Annie watched him with a startled expression waiting for more. "I had a dream but it wasn't a dream, it was a memory and you were in this yellow kitchen singing some song. I don't know the name of it but somehow I can remember all the words," Bucky explained, trying to sort it out in his mind.

"That's wonderful that you remember Bucky," Annie congratulated as she beamed at him. He caught the hinting blush at resided in her cheeks. "It'll keep that in mind, " she noted.

Bucky appreciated that Annie had not asked him what had started his panic but focused on how she could help. He thinks she had always been this way. His attentions turned from pleasant thoughts to self- loathing as he spotted a darkening bruise forming on Annie's left wrist. He tugged her hand to him as gently as he could manage, examining the disrupted skin distastefully. The disgust he held for himself grew in knowing that he had hurt Annie again. Annie pulled her hand away from Bucky, him letting her go, afraid to hurt her again as she reassured, "I'm ok Bucky, it's not your fault."

Bucky grew distant after a silence settled then murmuring, "I'm fine now". Annie hadn't even realised they had been sitting like that or a while. She had been contemplating Bucky's reaction to her very mild injury as well as newest memory, wondering which song he was talking about. Her thoughts had then returned to her irritating desire to run her hands through his hair ever since she mentioned the action. An irrelevant thought after what Bucky had just suffered.

"You can go, you don't need to stay with me" Bucky's dismissal hurt her but she soon realised that he was staying those words for her. Wanting her to continue resting, afraid to hurt her again.

Annie crossed her arms as she remained perched on the edge of the make-shift bed that Bucky had insisted on taking. He was still a gentleman. "No, I can't sleep until I know you're asleep," Annie retorted determinedly.

Bucky frowned at the woman's stubbornness, he felt bad enough for waking her up in the middle of the night and harming her and now she wants to continue looking after him?

"Annie," he warned to which she turned her unwavering eyes on him in resistance. "Please go to bed," he was growing desperate, his guilt increasing.

"I'm sorry Bucky but you are still not sleeping like a baby so I can't either," She stood her ground. As annoying as her stubbornness was to him, he still frustratingly found it endearing.

"So you are just going to sit there until I'm asleep?"

She wavered for a second, noting the uncomfortable fault in her plan but quickly regained herself answering, "Yes."

"No you're not," Bucky retaliated with a stubbornness of his own.

Sunlight streamed in the cracks of the tattered blinds shinning right on Annie's eyes. They crinkled as she attempted to hide the sunlight out wanting night and her sleep to continue. She snuggled in closer to the warmth beside her. The sun continued determinedly forcing her to crank her eyelid up and adjust to the varied light in the room. Annie stiffened as she noticed that her pillow steadily moved up and down. She was sure pillows did not do that and that they were softer.

Annie slowly twisted her head until she could see the sleeping face of Bucky. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps was the only thought Annie could manage before panic took over. She was sleeping with Bucky in his bed with her head on his chest and her body basically pressed up against him. When she tried to move his natural arm tightened around her, holding her even closer to him. At this Annie felt her temperature rise dramatically as her heart pumped blood through her at a chaotic pace.

They must have fallen asleep together last night but she was still unsure as to how she ended up in this position. Bucky must have pulled her to him or she could have unconsciously seeked him out.

She didn't want to wake Bucky up but she couldn't escape without doing so. She decided the only course was to calm down and wait it out. She looked up at him still sleeping, his hair annoyingly still straight and perfectly placed. There was stubble appearing on his face which not at all takes away from his attractiveness. Bucky had always been irritatingly handsome, even as a child his appearance hinted to future appeal. Annie later discovered that his natural good looks were annoying because she had a hopeless crush on him and they were only making it worse. Not to mention helping his charm attract other girls.

But now his face held a more stoic appeal, one of hidden, gentle kindness that was masked and protected with hostility. But as Bucky lays asleep, crinkles of worry or pain absent from his face Annie defeatedly realises that she has managed to start falling for him again. Not the man she knew that was gone but the loyal, protective and somehow still good man dispute his past that lay holding her tightly.

When she settled down she really did enjoy being so close to Bucky and comforted by his rhythmic breathing. Once she had gotten used to it she would be happy waking up to this. Her head rested on his warm chest as the deep sound of his steady heart beat echoed to her ears. When Annie thought about it she also liked the strong arm that wrapped around her and kept her close.

She grew quite content laying there, so content and comfortable that she drifted off to sleep again.

As sleep lifted and consciousness took its place as Bucky noted how warm he was. A contrast to the chamber of ice HYDRA had locked him in only to pull him out with a sense that time had passed without him. Without the single blanket in the damp room allocated to him. He guessed the fact that he wasn't too affected by the cold meant that he couldn't feel it, but he could.

But he was definitely warm now the reason he found when he cranked his head down to locate a beautiful mess of golden hair and a pale sleeping face. He struggled to move past the subtle smile that Annie wore in sleep as she curled up to him. It made him wonder if she was happy being next to him. She nestled into him for what he tried to convince himself was warmth. But the happy smile on her face said otherwise as she actively snuggled deeper into his side. He felt the sides of his mouth tug up in a way they had not for a long time, a way that had been begging to smile since he had meet Annie. The woman was hard to stay angry or sad around, especially when all her attention was on making you happy.

This had been a relief as Bucky had found himself with the increasing need to be closer or at least beside Annie. He didn't understand it but only knew that it could be satisfied when he held her and she smiled, which he got annoyingly few opportunities to do.

When they had danced he was sure that his chest was failing at containing what was inside, exploding out of him as he drew closer to her. She had reminded him of what they were then as she pulled away, friends. Bucky understood, he was scarred and broken. Not exactly what Annie deserved. He didn't want to pull her down with him. He would try to control his need to be with her because being friends with Annie was more than he warranted. So he tried to focus on being close to her while it lasted, to remember the foreign happiness that he was currently immersed in.

After a while Annie began to stir, the soft noises she made while waking up Bucky noticed with amusement. She stretched her back before opening her eyes and mumbling in a sleepy voice, "Bucky?"

"Yes?" he responded as Annie moved to view him comfortably. She was clearly still half asleep which seemed to make her less tense and cautious.

She clumsily smiled up at him greeting, "Good morning." He was glad she didn't ask 'How are you' afraid he might spill that this was the best morning of his remembered life.

"Good morning," he returned as another smile threatened to spill over. It grew harder to control as a hair fell down in front of her face. Annie growing cross eyes as she grumpily stared at it and attempted to blow it off her face. He lifted his vacant arm up and brushed away the strain. He frowned at the reflective, bionic arm, the deadly arm that could have crushed Annie while they were sleeping if she had been held by that arm instead of his human one. Fear flooded Bucky as he grumbled, "We should get moving," and released the woman he desperately wanting to hold longer.

"Wait, Bucky," Annie pleaded now sitting up as she gripped Bucky's robotic hand as he attempted to distance himself.

He turned to her with a questioning gaze. She knew what he was going to do; he was going pull away from her thinking that he is the man HYDRA wanted him to be. She guided Bucky back down which he followed reluctantly.

She held his cold, smooth hand in both of hers, watching the dim sunlight reflect of the panels. He was finally starting to warm up to her and she wasn't going to let him shut her out. She decided to just blurt out her feelings, to make Bucky realise how she saw him, "Bucky I know that you worry that you're going to hurt me-"

"I did hurt you," Bucky cut in sternly.

Annie looked up to his face surely, "Did you do it on purpose?"

"No bu-"

"Bucky" Annie emphasises cutting of his argument. "I don't see you as an assassin or a weapon or whatever you were to HYDRA. I know you're not that. Do you what to know why I'm not afraid of this arm?" Annie questioned as she ran her finger over the metal.

Bucky did not make a noise he just watched her intently. "Because I know the man who controls it and I trust him. I know that you wouldn't hurt me and if you did you would punish yourself for it long after I forgave you and I would forgive you. I know you're not the person I knew but you are still a good person Bucky," Annie expelled as she held his hand. She had forced herself to say this looking at him. To erase all doubt from his mind.

He watched her oddly with an expression she struggled to place before observing their hands that were entwined. "Thank you."

"We're starting to run low on food again," Annie confessed as she finished packing one of the bags with the food they still had. "I didn't realise how hard it would be to be on the run," She thought aloud.

She waited for Bucky to respond but he remained silent. He had been consumed in thought since this morning. Annie's desperately wanted to know what he was contemplating though. She decided to ask a question that she had been mauling over for at least a week, "Bucky I've thinking and it still doesn't make much sense."

"What?" He mumbled.

"Well you fell out of a train and fell God knows how many feet into an icy lake. I know HYDRA found you but you should have already been dead by then. I can't figure it out," Annie groaned with annoyance.

Bucky supposed the frustration was because Annie was not used to being clueless. He didn't like to recall the vague memory he had of falling, it left him with an icy chill of fear running down his spine. But Annie was right, how did he survive that?

"Wait!" Annie called triumphantly. Bucky turned to her knowing she had somehow figured it out. Annie all too excited to explain, "HYDRA, it has been them all along. You were captured by them earlier in the war along with the rest of the Howling Commanders. Do you remember that?" Bucky searched for images that courted the words but his thoughts simply raced in circles coming up empty.

Annie gave him a reassuring smile as his gaze flicked back to her. "Steve told me that when he found you, you weren't in the cells with the rest of your inventory. He found you in a lab unconscious." Annie's words had lost their energy as her mind wondered the dark corners of that lab and the injustices Bucky experienced there. She shook them from her thoughts and continued, "Bucky I think that maybe HYDRA was attempting to create their own sort of super-soldier serum or something close to it and may have succeeded with you. That would explain surviving that fall and how you kept up with Steve."

He nodded his head slowly as the information sunk in. It did make sense, it also explained how he could hear things that he was sure others missed. "So I survived because I am like your brother?" Bucky checked.

"Kind of," Annie guessed. "But did it somehow stop you ageing?" Annie wondered as she examined his face with narrowed eyes.

Bucky grew self-conscious at her close study as quickly answered simply, "No. I remember HYDRA putting me in a metal… pod and froze me."

Annie's thin eyebrows furrowed at his recollection, "They did that?" though Annie supposed that was one of the nicer things HYDRA did.

Bucky desperate to change the topic inquired, "How are you and Steve still…young?" they had been from the same time as him and he had been informed that it was a long time in the past. The thought that Annie was experimented on like her brother flashed in his mind for a moment.

"I supposed I never told you, did I? Steve and I were stuck on a HYDRA plane that was transporting bombs to ally cities and we didn't know how to control it so Steve crashed the plane into the ice. We were frozen in here until SHIELD found us and we were…thawed out?" Annie questioned her choice of words, unsure how to explain the situation. They had lead strange lives, being froze and revived.

Annie noticed that Bucky continually glanced at her bruising wrist, the sight causing his forehead to crinkle. "This time isn't so bad though, there's TV, better health, no world war and toasters that cook four slices of bread at once," Annie blabbered on attempting to distract Bucky.

Bucky listened amusedly to Annie talk. He liked that, just listening to her go off on a verbal tangent. He had to say that in the past few weeks Bucky had done hardly anything that he hadn't enjoyed. And one of those constants was Annie's conversations. They were not necessarily equally contributed as Annie did most of the talking with a randomly placed question which he hesitantly answered. But he liked just watching and listening to her, her voice maintained its warm and curious quality but her face transitioned between numerous expressions. Some he found entertaining, others distracting but all of them he wanted to remember. Bucky knew that it was a possibility that he would one day be found by HYDRA and that they would have the intention to wipe him again. But he wanted to at least remember Annie.

"What about you?" Annie inquired. Bucky panicked, he hadn't been listening. She seemed to not mind as she repeated, "What do you prefer about this time, I know you can't really remember the 40s but there might be something. Its fine if there isn't."

Bucky had to think about that one. He could recall a time when he was young, his age indeterminate, where he had to wear his 'Sunday best'. The circumstances her hazy and uncoordinated but he did recall the restrictive feeling of the neatly ironed shirt, his mother insisting he didn't move to prevent it from wrinkling. The matching pants were stiff and the fabric irritated his legs, the prickly material taunting his nerves. "Clothes are better, easier to move in," Bucky eventually responded.

Annie had waited patiently for his answer. "Maybe for you but most clothes I find are not appropriate for public."

Bucky tried to not let his mind wonder. "I guess though you prefer leather to all else," Annie added with a smirk hinting to his old battle suit. Bucky cringed at the mention, not too proud of the tight leather coat he was made to wear though it was suited for battle. Annie started to laugh as she watched his crinkled nose.

"What?" Bucky asked wanting to know what was so funny.

"No, nothing," Annie chuckled as his frustration only made his expression cuter.

Bucky didn't press it as he was busy enjoying the sound. "You seem to like jeans," Bucky commented, the closest he could get to a retort. Annie instantly ducked her head to examine her jeans as if she had forgotten about them.

She tipped her head back up with a grin, "Why yes I do. I have to agree with you, they are much easier to move in. Mobility I should use to get some more food because as I told you we are running low and you get grumpy when you are hungry."

Bucky's thick eyebrows furrowed at the light hearted accusation answering before he could process the words, "I think you're confusing me with you."

Annie's eyes lit up, "Bucky did you just taunt me?"

He grew panicked as his eye filtered through the room avoiding Annie's. His attention unwillingly was drawn back as he heard her laugh, "I guess you're right." Annie moved over to the bag that contained the little food they had left and started, "So I'll get some bread and-"

"You're not going," Bucky cut off Annie's listing of food items causing her to flick her confused gaze at him.

"What?" she questioned.

"You're not going out there to collect food, especially with HYDRA hunting us. I'll go and you say here," Bucky clarified more sternly. After the scare he had at their old apartment when I spotted Annie with a gun pressed to her back Bucky was not taking any more chances. He did not want to feel like he was going to lose the one thing he had again. No, he was going to keep her safe.

Annie frowned deeply at Bucky. He continued not letting her object, "I'll get everything we need and you say here. Have your gun ready just in case. And shot-"

"Anything that moves," Annie finished. Bucky collected his bag and wouldn't leave the building until he had heard Annie lock every bolt on the door.

The weight of the bags had increased considerably but Bucky could easily manage them, the restriction of how much food he could carry was not due to his lack of strength but a lack of room in the bag. The strain on the backpack's stitching was coming to an end as Bucky neared the Motor Inn and jogged up the stairs 2 steps at a time to their room. Bucky had discovered that he became uneasy and restless when he couldn't see that Annie was near and safe. This made the grocery trip none too enjoyable.

He knocked on the flimsy wood as he called to her through the door. As his knuckles hit the wood once more the door creaked open on its aged hinges. Bucky's brows creased as he examined the side of the door. The wood broken and splintered around where the lock clicked in to the wall.

His hand glided over the disrupted surface as he noticed that this was the aftereffects of a door being kicked in.

Bucky froze.

He felt as though all of his blood had been replaced with ice that refused to fluidly move about his veins.

The ice was then melted by panic as his every sense was frenzied with adrenaline. "Annie!?" Bucky yelled through the room as he stumbled through the room. The room was an image of chaos with broken lamps, bullet damaged walls, overturned furniture and blood.

His head started to spin at the connotations of the blood. Whose was it? "Annie!" Bucky urgently yelled again desperately hoping she was in the other room. He run to it as fast as he could manage with his swirling thoughts, not caring what to trod on.

He grasped the side of the doorway as his eyes franticly searched the room for Annie but finding not even a hint. The hole in his stomach sunk deeper until it resembled a void as he slumped against the wall falling to the cluttered floor. This was all his fault, he shouldn't have left. In his anger and frustration he hurled his fist into the mustard yellow wall crushing and going through the plaster like material.

He stared vaguely out into the anarchy of the room. White caught his eye. He numbly reached for the paper. The coarse surface had words roughly scribed, 'You know where to go. Don't take too long.' Bucky working long enough at HYDRA could see the threat in the vague words. His hands clenched around the paper, crinkling and ripping it.

Narrowed eyed and stony faced Bucky discarded the paper and stood up. Purposefully exiting the room where he lost what had come to matter the most.

Please Review/Fav/Follow