Again, you can blame Bridgerton, the musical, for this. This piece is angsty, not fluffy. Sorry. Also, to my loves who are reading this- thank you. Eternally, thank you. I don't deserve you, angels.

I don't own JN. Okay?

Moon and Sun

The pub is loud and crowded, and the seat across from her is still empty. She can't help but feel a flush of irritation. Friday nights were her only night off, and Libby had set her up with someone. She'd been hesitant, but she agreed as long as she got to pick the place they met up. After waiting for ten minutes, it was clear she'd been stood up. Well, at least she could enjoy the coffee and burger she'd ordered.

"Cindy Vortex, is that you?"

She snaps her head to the side and sees a familiar red shirt with an atom design on the chest. Something inside of her tightens as her eyes trail slowly upwards. Even though she hadn't seen him in three years, and his jaw is sporting a five o clock shadow, she'd know him anywhere.

"Neutron," she exhales.

"May I join you?" he gestures to the seat across from her, and she nods. Her tongue feels thick and heavy in her mouth. She tries to convince herself this isn't happening, that it's a dream. That would be easier to accept. But the horror of reality crashes onto her when he speaks again. "It's been a while since I saw you last. Libby's twenty-fifth birthday, right?"

She remembers the taste of champagne on her tongue. Pulling Neutron into a poorly lit bathroom, his blue eyes dark and his mouth hot on hers. The feeling of his fingers tracing constellations on her skin. Instantly, her surprise dissolves into something hot and sharp. "Yes."

"Can I get you a menu, Sir?" a voice asks. She hadn't even seen the waitress appear at their table.

"I'll have a BLT with Thousand Island dressing, please," one of his favorites. Cindy wishes she didn't remember that.

"What are you doing here?" she demands once the waitress is gone again.

He blinks at her, obviously caught off guard by her icy demeanor. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"I meant here in Boston."

"Does it matter?"

"That wasn't an answer," she hisses.

"It's of no consequence," he retorts. "I can be here if I want to be. Boston doesn't belong to you, you know."

"I never said it did. I asked a question like a normal human being. So, I'll ask you again, What are you doing here?" Her mouth shapes around the words, savoring the force of them. She sees the moment understanding sinks into his vast brain.

"You're mad at me."

After they'd slept together, he'd ghosted her. Not an email. Not a phone call. Nothing. With every passing year, the silence grew louder until it dug into her ribs and carved out her insides. Mad doesn't begin to describe what she is. "You haven't talked to me in three years. You can't waltz back into my life and act like everything is normal!"

His gaze falls to the table with what she thinks is a flash of regret. "Maybe I should go."

Did she want that? She doesn't know. Her mind is all tied up in knots. "Why did you do it? Damn it, Neutron. If it was a one night stand, you could've told me. I could've taken it. Instead, you cut me off. I bet you enjoyed pulling along Cindy Vortex. I bet you had fun knowing you were getting one up on me."

"That is not what it was," he snaps in anger, fire burning in his eyes. This was familiar territory, and she relishes it. "It was easier."

"I always knew that you were a scared chicken dick."

"That's a new one," he adds with a huff.

"You are a giant-"

"I was leaving the next day. It hurt too much to say goodbye."

She blinks once, then again. "That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but can you please stop trying to kill me with your eyes?"

For a long time, they stare at each other over the table. Neither one is willing to back down. Then Jimmy's BLT shows up at the table. He looks down at the plate then back up at her. "May I eat at least?"

"If you must," she turns her head to the wall. She will not look at him because the sight of him makes her ache.

Jimmy ventures a nervous cough. "I heard from Libby the other day." Even though she doesn't acknowledge him, he continues. "She said you are a partner at your firm. I bet you are vicious in the courtroom."

She can't help the small smile of pride that sneaks onto her lips as she answers, "I am."

"Libby also mentioned she can't drink right now, which I thought was significant. Of course, you probably already knew that."

"What? How did that come up?"

"I told her I was coming to Boston. I asked her to meet me for a drink, and she said she couldn't. Emphasis on the couldn't."

"Do you think-"

"She's pregnant? Yes."

"She hasn't said a word to me, yet she tells someone she hasn't talked to in three years!" At her words, he quickly looks down at the table again, and his fingers fidget nervously. Painful understanding fills her core. "I'm the only one you haven't been talking to."

He doesn't answer, but that's enough. Cindy's best friend was keeping secrets from her. Wait just a minute. Libby knew he was coming to Boston, and she'd set her up on a blind date. That couldn't be a coincidence.

"I am going to kill her," she declares.

"Because she told me first, or because she's been talking to me at all? Either way, that seems extreme, even for you."

"She set you up on a blind date with me!"

He stares at her, and then he bursts out laughing. "No, I assure you she did not. She knows better. Honestly, I think she was hoping that we wouldn't see each other."

"She didn't tell you to come here?"

"I swear on Newton's Laws of Motion that she didn't. Someone else recommended it to me."

Someone else? She recalls his earlier diversion from the question of why he was here. The way he hadn't even needed a menu. He'd already known what he wanted because someone had told him what to order. He had a lover in Boston. Bitter sorrow starts to seep into her anger. It's a strange cocktail that makes her world go slightly black around the edges. She quickly hides behind a sneer. "Ah, I see."

"Cindy-"

"This person likes this pub, so they have some intelligence. What on earth are they doing with you?" He opens his mouth to reply, but she scoffs. "Save it. I don't care."

Lie. Lie. Lie.

He shakes his head and softly sighs. "I am sorry. If that means anything."

"It doesn't," she answers faster than lightning. In a moment of weakness, she takes notice of his flushed cheeks and blue eyes glinting feverishly. The Jimmy shaped bruise in her chest twinges, and she instantly knows if she lets go of her anger for a second, the fissure in her heart will snap in two. She raises all of her defenses and infuses her spine with steel. "Well, Neutron, this was anything but pleasant."

"Cindy-"

She stands up, her heartbeat is racing, and her body is alive with tension. He's within arms reach but galaxies away. There are so many things unsaid, and they hang like a ghost from her lips. Their relationship is a sharp knife, and it has wounded her too many times. She would cut him with it this time. "Goodbye."

She doesn't look back.

But once she's outside, she's grateful for the night that hides the tears sliding down her face, marking her with a bitter truth. If Jimmy was the moon, she was the sun trapped in an endless dance across the eternal sky of life, forever doomed to rise when the other fell.

-x-