Sorry this is so late, guys! To make up for it, it's a bit longer than the last one.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

Kinana scribbled "Macbeth x Erza" into her notebook, ignoring the chorus of screams the lacrima next to her was emitting. Beside it, she added the reasoning of "long-standing crush," a scuffle breaking out amongst her distant friends in a desperate bid to keep their leader from dismembering Macbeth.

The purple-haired woman set down her pen, her verdant green eyes returning to the lacrima. Erik collapsed on the ground, the lacrima beside him, as he roared with laughter. Copious amounts of tears were leaking from his good eye. He was shaking so hard from his mirth that he didn't seem to even have the strength to hold the communication device let alone keep himself upright. Or even the ability to properly breathe.

Behind the maroon-haired man, Kinana could faintly make out the sight of a hysterically sobbing Meredy, and Jellal finally being subdued.

As Erik's laughter finally started to die off, so did the commotion from the others. Meredy notwithstanding. She was still sobbing uncontrollably over the plight of Jerza.

Kinana couldn't help but wonder if Macbeth had been telling the truth about Erza. It would not exactly be surprising for Erik to lie about it for his own amusement. People tended to trust that the secrets the mind-reader revealed were the truth. But Kinana had known Erik for quite a long time (even if she didn't actually recall the majority of it). Erik was just as likely to tell the truth as make something up for the purpose of entertainment.

Erik sat up, able to grip the lacrima once more and exert proper motor function. "GaLe is next," she informed the group, once they had sufficiently regained their wits.

"You're sunk, that one's legitimate," he informed her, with a final chortle.

Behind him, Meredy let out a whooping cheer in celebration, forgetting her tears for the moment. "My ship has gone canon!"

"I'm so fucking confused," Sawyer muttered. "I thought cannons were bad things for ships?"

"Only for crackships!"

"...Fuck, it's like you're speaking another language altogether..."

"Although," Erik added with an amused glimmer in his eye, "since you have to come up with something else... why not have fun with it?"

Freezing in her tracks, Meredy looked pensive. "Honestly you could ship Levy with just about any other brainiac," she reasoned. "I considered shipping her with both Hibiki and Freed at some time or another... Rufus, too." Then the Maguilty Mage giggled. "Even Laxus, Jet, Droy, and Lucy at one point!"

The others stared at her.

Noticing their heavy looks, she shrugged. "I ship Gajeel and Levy together pretty hard, but it's not one of my OTP's. I multi-ship Levy."

Sawyer was just descending further and further into the pit of confusion. "OTP? Multi-ship?"

Patting the man on the back, Meredy consoled him, "Don't worry. I'll explain it to you later."

Erik rolled his eye at the exchange. "Everyone will expect one of those ships, though. Why don't you do one that's completely off the wall?"

Sorano brightened. "Yeah! Since we can, let's just go crazy with this!"

"Kind of a short trip," Erik observed.

"I vote Levy and Sawyer!"

Again, the guild mates collectively stared at the brilliantly smiling pinkette.

Kinana vaguely wondered if they were all going to suggest themselves as the replacement ships for this entire challenge.

Sorano broke the silence with a simple, "Are you high, Meredy?"

The pinkette blinked in confusion at her friend. "Huh?"

"What other explanation exists for shipping adorable little Levy with… that?"

"Hey!" Sawyer protested.

"I mean," Sorano continued, as if Sawyer hadn't said anything at all, "have they even met?"

"I have so met her, you fucking seagull!" Sawyer proclaimed. "Once! We spoke! She congratulated me after I beat Jet in a race!"

"Seems tenuous," Erik observed.

Meredy shrugged, nonchalant. "I've shipped for less, honestly."

The white-haired woman seemed unconvinced by this logic. "Sawyer's too fucking weird. No one will believe it. Let's do a different ship."

"You're all assholes," the blond grumbled.

Richard gave him a consoling, heavy-handed pat on the back. "There, there," he comforted. "You'll find love someday, oh yeah!"

Clearing her throat, Kinana asked, "Well… any other suggestions, then?"

"I say figure out another ship for Gajeel. Like... Gajeel and Laxus! Now that would be hilarious." Snickers rolled through Sorano's petite frame. "Can you imagine the looks on their faces, if that's the one you go with?!"

The Poison Dragon Slayer high-fived the Celestial Mage. "That sounds perfect!"

Kinana shook her head, fearful sweat beading on her forehead. "Um... I can't do that, guys."

"Why not?"

"They'll kill me." She swallowed thickly, forest-green eyes wide with fright. "They'll totally kill me. Also... I don't have any justification for that."

"You could always say that Gajeel is a lightning rod!" Sorano piped up cheerfully. Then she smirked. "Though maybe Gajeel is the one who'd get a taste of a lightning rod!"

"I really can't say that! They'll murder me!"

After a minute of contemplation, the others agreed. "What about Erza and Gajeel?" Sawyer sniggered.

"What the hell!" Jellal yelled.

"…What?" came Meredy's quiet, breathy voice. "Not… no… not another friend after Erza…." If the glistening tears gathering in her eyes were any indication, she was not taking this idea well. "That makes… three!"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Erik grumbled. "Here we go again."

"The first time was your fucking fault!" Sawyer reminded the Dragon Slayer, who shrugged as if it wasn't his problem.

Sorano decided to take up the cause. "Right! Healthy polyamory! Down with love triangles!"

"Technically, it would be a quadrangle in this case," Kinana corrected, giving up on waiting for her friends to come to their senses. May as well join the insanity at this point, she reasoned. She had started the whole thing after all.

"Seriously, can you imagine a fight between Erza and Gajeel, though?" Erik pointed out. "Now that would be fucking amazing."

"And hot," Sawyer added. A smack resounded from the crystal. "Ouch! Dammit, what the hell, Sorano! He suggested it first!"

"Yeah, but Erik wasn't thinking like you were." Sniffing haughtily, the woman added, "He's asexual. You're a pervert."

"Does fight potential even count for a ship?" mused Kinana.

"Yup." Erik rolled a shoulder. "It's called a Battle Ship."

"Clever and disturbing. Also, how the hell do you know that?"

"Fucking pay attention more, Sawyer."

Kinana sighed. "But regardless, I still can't do that ship."

"Love for everyone!" Richard declared. "Oh yeah!"

Meredy's instantaneous happiness was offset by Sorano's sudden gloom. "Why?" she moaned. "Why don't you like my ship…?"

"It was mine, actually," Sawyer pointed out.

He was ignored.

"Why not that one, Cu?" Erik inquired.

"Because it's against the rules," she informed him. "No repeats."

"Ah, that makes sense."

"Then Kagura!" Sorano insisted. "She's like Erza but –"

"NOT Erza!" Jellal shouted over Sorano. "Go with that one!"

"You're biased," Erik laughed.

"Guys, again… I have no way of justifying it. Just… let's be serious, please," Kinana begged.

The others grumbled but acquiesced to the exhausted barmaid's request.

"So, what should the pairing be instead?" Sorano muttered. "Is there anyone he even gets along with, aside from his cat and the bookworm?"

Thinking back on the people he interacted with, Kinana was hard pressed to come up with a viable response. There were very few people the Iron Dragon Slayer was close to. She could say Mirajane, for their shared love of music and singing but... Kinana discarded the notion. That ship had almost as much sheer danger potential as Gajeel and Laxus as a pairing. Who in Earthland did Gajeel get along with? Even minutely? Orga was out of the question - the pair would use it as an excuse to perform a duet denouncing it. And no one needed that.

Answer coming to her in a rush of inspiration, Kinana opened her mouth – only to shut it with a hasty snap as she reconsidered. The consequences of this ship would be as dire as Gajeel and Laxus - but for a completely different reason.

Nothing could escape Erik's notice, however. "Kinana?" A knowing smirk graced his face. "Do you have an idea for a ship?"

"Do tell!" Sorano teased, leaning in closer to the lacrima.

"Yes!" Shoving her way between Sorano and Erik, Meredy smiled at Kinana. "What is it?"

"You're... going hate me for this," Kinana whimpered. "But... Gajeel and... and…

"Yeeees?! Tell me!" Meredy demanded.

With a wince, Kinana revealed, "Juvia."

There was a moment of silence, before both Sorano and Erik burst out into fits of laughter.

Meredy sat solidly on the ground, clutching the lacrima. Her eyes were wide and unseeing.

Once Erik's laughter subsided, he waved a mocha-toned hand in front of the pinkette's face. "Meredy? Pink Demon? Tiny Pink Demon?" He plucked the magical crystal out of the catatonic woman's grasp. "Congratulations, Cu. You've broken her, this time."

"I'm so sorry!" the purple-haired woman proclaimed. "It's just that... well Juvia's pretty much his only friend aside from Pantherlily! And they were even close before they joined Fairy Tail, or so I've been told. Juvia also worries about him pretty often, so I figured..."

"It's... it's fine," Meredy said faintly, eyes still not focusing on anything in particular. "I just... give me a few minutes to process this..."

Kinana dutifully wrote down the new ship. "Friends," she wrote beside it. She'd come up with better wording for it later. Though… she had to admit that it was a little uncomfortable to give that as her only reason. After all, everyone assumed she and Erik were dating because of how close their friendship was. And wasn't that the same reasoning she'd rejected in regards to Natsu and Lucy?

"Moving on!" Erik proclaimed, holding the lacrima so that he was the only one in the crystal's view again.

"You're the heartless demon," Sawyer muttered beside him.

"Regardless-"

"He didn't even bother to deny it."

Erik ignored his friend. "The Dim Lightbulb and the Saber-Bitch were next, right?"

"I'm recovered!" Meredy declared, shoving Erik's face aside once more. "I vote for Sting and Yukino! Since Mirajane is going Rogue and Yukino, you should do the opposite!"

"Gmph thh fk fff mhhh!" Erik attempted to shout around Meredy's hand over his mouth, to no avail.

"Erik, stop moving!" the pinkette demanded. "Oh, fine! Move over!" To Erik's great and obvious shock, Meredy climbed into the man's lap with her back against his chest. "There!" she declared. "Now hold the lacrima a little higher!"

Giving up, Erik did as she ordered. He rested his chin atop her hair and let out a long-suffering sigh.

Kinana couldn't help but giggle at the sight. It was always wonderful to see Erik interact like this with his new family.

Then Sorano joined in, leaning against Erik's side with her head on his shoulder. "I have to make my objections known!" the Celestial mage inputted. "Yukino is too pure for a pervert like Sting!"

The Take Over mage was finding it hard to take Sorano seriously when she looked so utterly comfortable imposing on Erik's personal space. And despite the annoyance present in Erik's expression, she knew that he was secretly basking in the attention and affection. He'd been starved of it too much in his life.

"Didn't you hear me?!" Sorano shouted, jolting Kinana out of her thoughts. "Yukino is too good for that buffoon!"

"God fucking dammit did you have to do that right in my ear?!" Erik hissed.

Shaking her head, Kinana frantically waved her hand in front of the lacrima to get the arguing mages' attention. "I'm not doing Sting and Yukino together, Sorano! I promise!"

Meredy's face fell into a pout at being denied yet another of her ships, while Sorano brightened considerably. "Good girl," she said. "So. I take it you have a ship in mind already?"

"Kind of...?" Kinana offered.

"Don't tap-dance around it Cu," Erik demanded. "Tell us already!"

She gulped. "Sting and... Rogue."

Giggles of hilarity erupted from the Celestial mage as she leaned heavily on Erik for support. "I like this one!"

Two thumbs up from Meredy was all the encouragement Kinana needed to scribble it onto her notepad.

"Any particular reason?" Erik offered.

"She can come up with it later, remember?!" Meredy huffed. "Besides, you can ship something just because it's adorable. It's in the guidebook."

"There's a handbook?!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Why didn't you fucking say so, then?! I could have used that a long time ago!"

Erik rolled his eye. "Figure of speech, Speedy."

"What the hell?! Don't get my hopes up, then!"

"What are you going to do about the next pairing, then?" Richard asked.

"It's Rogue and Yukino."

"Right." Richard nodded, resembling nothing so much as a sage brush. "So, due to the no repeating rule, you'll have no choice but to pair off Yukino, then."

An unholy screech burst from Sorano's lips.

"Ow! Fuck you! FUCK. YOU," Erik spat. "My ear! It's sensitive you insane feather duster!"

"You are not pairing Yukino up with anyone!"

"Literally no one but you gives a shit!" the Poison Dragon Slayer informed the distraught woman. "Now can you turn the fucking volume down?!"

"I don't care!" Sorano insisted. "Go back and change Sting's then! Stick him with whomever you want he and Rogue are not sticking anything near my baby sister! Pair Sting up with the old dragon lady, for all I care!"

"...Porlyusica?" Kinana asked, torn between amusement and mild concern. "What about Rogue, then?"

"Again, I don't fucking care! And does it really matter?! Ship him with chocolate cake! No one will question that!"

Given the rate at which the Shadow Dragon Slayer could inhale said confection, Sorano had a point. Rogue's love of chocolate could arguably rival Erza's devotion to strawberry cakes.

But Kinana was beginning to get the hang of this shipping thing. She knew exactly who to pair Yukino with for this contest. "Keep in mind that this isn't real, Sorano," she gently reminded the Celestial mage. "I'm just trying to defeat Mirajane and prove a point. Also, I'm trying to avoid the punishment game..."

"Punishment game?" Erik inquired, eye narrowing at his friend through the lacrima. "You never said anything about a punishment game." When Kinana didn't respond, the stare intensified. "What is the punishment game, Cu?"

Nervous sweat started to drip down Kinana's face. "It's unimportant. Um... next pairing!"

"Hey! No! Tell me! Tell me what they're going to make you do if you lose!" the Dragon Slayer demanded. "Depending upon your answer, I may need to kill someone."

"And you haven't finished with changing this pairing either!" Sorano reminded her with an equal level of insistence.

Kinana shook her head. "Never mind the punishment game, Erik! You're helping me so that I can avoid it entirely, remember? And Sorano... sorry, but I stand by Sting and Rogue for the last one. But don't worry; I think you'll actually be okay with who I'm coupling Yukino with."

"No coupling shall occur!" shouted Sorano.

Meredy squealed in happiness. "I think you're finally getting into this! I'm so excited!"

Erik grumbled unhappily but otherwise backed down. "Fine, whatever. We'll finish this discussion later. Pink Demon, calm down. Feather Duster, shut the fuck up. Continue, Cu."

Macbeth settled in on Erik's other side. "Jellal is taking a short walk to calm down," he explained with a mumble and a yawn. "So what do you have in mind?"

Wondering if the tattooed bluenette was actually doing his rounds like a responsible leader, Kinana said, "Well... I was thinking of pairing Yukino with Natsu."

The ensuing reactions were widely varied and instantaneous.

Macbeth's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and for once he seemed wide awake. "Well that's an interesting one," he commented.

"Natsu?!" came Sawyer's incredulous voice, proving that he was, indeed, still paying attention to the proceedings. "Why him?!"

"Love is in the air! Oh yeah!" proclaimed Richard. Kinana took that as approval.

Erik seemed amused for some reason, though for once he chose not to remark upon the pairing choice.

However... Meredy and Sorano's reactions were less than encouraging.

"What?!" the Celestial mage shrieked, making Erik wince in pain at the decibel. "Why would you pair her with the single most destructive moron from a guild full of and renowned for producing such?!"

"B-b-b-b-but... NaLu!" blubbered Meredy, disconsolate.

"I don't know what you were expecting, but you should have gathered that that particular pairing was going to get axed anyway," Macbeth informed the Sensory mage. "That was the last ship on the list - it was always going to get broken up."

"So you were paying attention after all," Erik muttered.

Meredy's sobbing intensified.

"And now she's going to get snot all over me. Good going, Macbeth. Real smart move, there."

"Revenge."

Ignoring all the others, Sorano demanded, "Tell me why Fire-Spouting Walking Disaster is fit in your mind to court my baby sister!"

Despite the harsh tone and words, Kinana knew that Sorano meant none of the vitriol. "Erm. Well, during the Grand Magic Games - you know, right before the Eclipse incident - Yukino was thrown out of her guild, Sabertooth."

"What?!" Sorano sat straight up and snatched the viewing crystal from Erik's hands, bringing it in way too close to her face. "Those ungrateful, unappreciative bastards did what?!"

'Uh, oh,' Kinana thought. 'What have I just unleashed?' Aloud, she explained, "Um... that was back when they had a different Guild Master, and a different guild philosophy, Sorano. Sting apologized for the way the guild treated her, for calling her weak, making her strip in front of everyone and forcing her to remove her guild mark herself..."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Kinana clapped a hand over it. This was going to be bad. She hadn't meant to say all that.

Sure enough, Sorano soon disappeared from sight and the lacrima's image was filled only with the deep blue afternoon sky as it was rendered airborne.

"I'm going to gut them!" screeched the Celestial mage. "Gut them all! I'll show them what weakness really looks like!"

"Calm down, Sorano!" Sawyer yelled, and a muffled whump reached the lacrima - which was still up in the air. "Don't be hasty!"

"Should you really be the one saying that to me?!"

The lacrima landed into an outstretched, dark-skinned palm. Erik brought the object in closer to him. "Sawyer tackled her for her own good. Hold on a second, Cu."

"I didn't mean to upset her so much!" Kinana wailed.

Erik shrugged. "She'll calm down in a minute. Why don't you finish your reasoning? That might help."

"Calm down, Sorano!" Sawyer told the mage out-of-sight. "I doubt Yukino would have gone back to the guild if they weren't genuinely sorry about what happened! She has her pride, after all. Just like you. I'm sure she had good reasons, so just simmer down and listen to Kinana."

"I can't believe she never told you before," Macbeth observed under his breath, loud enough for Kinana to catch, but not Sorano.

Kinana swallowed. "I'm so sorry, Sorano!" she apologized. "I kind of thought you knew already! It's true that all that happened, but their last Guild Master was a real piece of work. Everyone has tried their best to make it up to your sister, I promise! They still feel pretty guilty over the whole thing, too."

"...Let go of me, Sawyer." The tall blonde must have, for Sorano soon crawled back into the lacrima frame. "I'll interrogate them all later. So, where were you going with this? And how does it relate back to the pyro?"

"You see... after all that happened, Yukino came by the inn Fairy Tail was staying at. She tried to give her keys to Lucy, but Lucy refused. She said that since Yukino's spirits loved her, she had no right to take them away."

A small smile touched Sorano's lips. "Remind me to thank her later."

Grateful that her friend was now in a more sedate frame of mind, Kinana went on, "Natsu, after he heard what had happened... well he did the most Natsu thing possible. He ran off and burst into Sabertooth's inn and tried to take down their Guild Master for what he did."

Respect glimmered in Sorano's eyes. "I see."

"Yukino still holds a soft spot for Natsu for that," Kinana finished.

Erik nodded in agreement. "It's true... though I'm interested in how it is that you came by that particular tidbit. I know about her affection for him, of course... but as far I'm aware of she never actually told anyone."

Kinana bit her lip in embarrassment. "Um... once, she got drunk while visiting Fairy Tail and she told me all about it. For some reason, people do that. I don't think she remembered afterward though."

Which brought up the question - should she reveal this for the sake of a game? It brought with it the uncomfortable feeling that she might be betraying Yukino.

Was this all really such a good idea?

"Hmm..." Sorano contemplated all of the new information. "Natsu... might be fine, then. Just for the sake of getting you out of a punishment game, you understand," the Celestial mage lectured. "If he wants to date my sister for real, he'll have to get through my... questions... first."

"Understandable."

Kinana was beginning to get rather tired from all of this. She still needed to do her shopping for dinner, so this needed to get wrapped up. "Um… the next ship was Elfman and Evergreen."

"Again, that one's sailing," Erik told her.

"I figured that out already, but thanks, Erik."

He grunted. "So, what are you going to do for it?"

"Be crazy!" Sorano insisted.

Sighing heavily, Kinana shook her head. "I'm coming up blank for this one, I just…" she trailed off. Then she froze as a thought occurred to her. Sitting up straight again, she looked into the lacrima at her friends' expectant gazes. "Wait… I think I know what to do, here!"

Erik waved her on. "Lay it on us, then."

"It's… it's an aesthetic ship!" she squeaked. "Since I don't need to work on justification for this one anyway!"

"We're proud of you!" Meredy declared. "Now tell us!"

"It's… It's Elfman and…"

"Aaaand?"

"…Meredy."

Silence descended upon the others.

Then Meredy, stiff as a board, fell over backwards in a dead faint.

"Meredy!" Sorano cried. "Oh for the love of… She passed out! She seriously fucking passed out!"

"Hey, Cu?" Erik turned the lacrima to face him alone, the rest rushing to the fallen Sensory mage. "How about we leave off there for tonight?"

Kinana nodded weakly. "Sounds good. I hope she'll be alright…? I didn't mean for her to react like that!"

"Oh, she'll be fine, trust me." Erik rolled his indigo eye. "She's nigh indestructible. I'll call you back in a couple of days, alright? We've got an infiltration tomorrow. By which I mean we're storming the local dark guild."

"Good luck," Kinana told him. "Give Meredy my best, and tell her I'm sorry when she comes to?"

"Will do, Cu. Take care."

That was a lot of fun to write.