You guys! Thank you for all your kind reviews! They really made my day :)
This one takes place in season seven and I like it a lot more. Enjoy!
9. You can have half.
"So I told the guy, of course your wife is cheating on you!" Cuddy took a bite from her salad and immediately winced. "What?"
"Wrong dressing," she sighed.
He tried a lettuce leaf from her plate. "Ew."
"House, 'ew' is your opinion on salad no matter what."
"True. But this is particularly ewey, to quote Rachel." She smirked. "'You gonna eat that?" he asked as she took another bite. She shrugged. He thrust his burger into her face. "You can have half."
"I appreciate your generosity, but I like my arteries unclogged and healthy."
"Suit yourself." He resumed munching his burger and she wished she could eat as ravenously as he did.
"What choice do I have?" she said eventually. "I can't throw an entire plate of food in the trash!"
House quickly took a look around the cafeteria. "Go get another one. I'll take care of it." Cuddy eyed him. "Trust me. Go."
"Do not touch this salad, House," she warned as she nevertheless stood up and walked away. House grabbed her plate and headed to the table of a morbidly obese family, where he unceremoniously abandoned Cuddy's salad.
"Trust me, you'll need this," he told the kid. His mother stood up and walked up to him, stopping in her tracks when he showed her his cane. She flipped him off instead and sat back down.
"Do I want to know what happened to my salad?" Cuddy asked when she came back with another plate.
"It's in good hands," he assured her. "For your own safety, it's all I can tell you."
"Right." She sat down, took a bite. "Yes," she sighed happily.
"Ew."