Chapter 5

Her feet wobbled slightly as she got out of the taxi. She'd been offered a lift by the designated driver, another new deputy, but has refused. She wanted to say her final goodbyes at the bar to everyone at once, not drag it out to whoever drove her home. Plus once she'd finished what she was pretty sure was most of a bottle of scotch, she figured it was time to make her exit.

Fumbling for her keys she didn't see the shadow leaning against her front porch.

'Now yah are sauced and yah can't deny it this time'

He didn't exactly have a forgettable voice. Even to someone who hadn't inadvertently committed it's cadence to memory. As though extra credit was given for being able to play it over and over to the point of knowing it anywhere, the exact inflection it had at anytime he spoke or made a sound at all. Laugh. Sigh. Cry. Tease. Hurt.

'Jesus Christ Filip, you've gotta stop sneaking up on me late at night. One day I will shoot you'

'Thought you said it was too much paper work? And from the looks of that skirt, you're unarmed'

That bothered him more than he'd care to admit. She was a target for two reasons, and being drunk at night without a weapon close by made his skin crawl and the hair stand on the back of his neck. Yet at the same time, the tightness of the skirt left a heat layering through him, burning skin as its conquest moved through him.

'What do you want Filip? I don't have the energy to rehash today's hysterics. I think you should go home'

'You're leaving. Were you even going to tell me?'

'You've been a bit busy from the looks of things'

'Answer the fuckin question'

She could blame the amber liquid she'd consumed too much of, but it wouldn't be honest, even just to herself. It was the snapping back of an elastic thought she'd held off since he left the station earlier that day.

'Why does it matter for gods sake? You made your point clear when I didn't hear from you for weeks! You think I didn't notice the reappearance of your 'crow eaters' around your club? What they haven't worshipped your ego enough? You're back to get whatever it is that you get from me. Do I make you feel like more of a man than they do Filip? More able to lead your club when you have a woman, that isn't passed around your brothers, on your dick? Or was it just having one who'd never really belong there? Is that it?'

'You're being drunk, and disgusting and what sounds a lot like jealous'

'WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE? I think about what we were everyday. I play it over and over in my head. We meet, we hook up, we feel something there, we're so wrong for each other but we can't help it. I compromise everything I've worked for, for you and then it stops. You just stopped. I didn't know what had happened. It was just me. Waiting, for life I'll never have with someone and for a mans arms to hold me that hours before held a gun to someone head.'

The first breath she took after speaking almost turned into a gasping when she that broken look in his eyes again. She shouldn't have said it all really. It didn't change anything now.

'I didn't do this to you. I didn't pretend to be anything other than what I was. You knew who you were with the whole time Althea. I didn't do this to you.'

'I know. But I'm leaving anyway. Whatever this is or was, it's done. You win'

'This isn't me winning anything. You're leaving. And I didn't choose that'

'Then why does it feel like I lost?'

'Because you're running. And unless you're running towards something, you're running away instead. And yah should know by now that it doesn't work. Look I can't pretend I'm not exactly what I am, the same way you can't'

'You're right. I'm an immovable object and you're an unstoppable force'

The silence smothered them both for a moment. It was now or never. She was leaving. She knew that. But she also knew it wouldn't have taken much to make her want to stay. But the broken world he'd handed her then snatched away made it impossible for her to be the one to break through impasse they were at. Immovable object. Unstoppable force. He sniffed loudly, clearing his throat before sighing.

'Well then take care Sheriff'

With that he turned and walked towards his bike parked on the sidewalk.

Inside, locked and hidden from the outside, she slid down the door to the carpeted floor and the flood gates opened. But true to form, she stood after a moment and scanned around her boxed up apartment. She'd plunged the knife in and it was time to rip it out and try to heal the hole.