Hello!

I wasn't planning to update anything until the story alert issue was resolved (you guys aren't getting emails either, right?), but it's finals week(s) and I took this afternoon off, and this drabble had been waiting for weeks, and I've been working on so many fics at the same time I just wanted to publish something. So... here I am!

It's set in 7.04 "Massage Therapy" and I got the idea after watching a video on YouTube of all the Huddy scenes from this episode (many thanks to the sweet person who uploaded it!). It takes place during the scene when they sort of confront each other in House's office about this whole masseuse thing.

Thank you for your feedback. I hope you'll enjoy it!

44. Call me when you get home.

"I'm not the only one who's holding back."

Cuddy licked her lips.

Until a couple of days ago, Lucas had been dropping by unannounced to pick up his stuff from her home. As she spent most evenings with House, she'd bumped into him only once or twice – it had been tense and awkward. He resented her. And she knew he knew where she was when he came over and it was the nanny who let him in. It had been enough to make her want to be careful and avoid that the two former friends met again.

But now Lucas' last items were gone, and she had run out of excuses.

Except that she was afraid to let House into Rachel's life, if he wasn't going to take their relationship seriously. His admission that he hadn't wanted to meet Rachel until now hadn't done much to reassure her.

But she had to be honest with herself.

If House were to move in with them, then yes. It would be definitive. It would be scary. He would be with her and Rachel. Letting him walk out would be out of the question. It would harm Rachel if he ever left. But he's not talking about moving in. He's talking about… sleepovers.

Besides, Rachel hadn't seen Lucas since the breakup, and she hadn't been asking about him. She doubted the kid even thought of him anymore. If House were to leave, too – maybe Rachel wouldn't remember him. Was that a good thing?

"You're right," she admitted softly. "I have been holding back."

She sighed. He looked at her with a sad look on his face – he seemed genuinely hurt that she'd kept him at arm's length as well.

"I'm sorry I accused you," she added.

He nodded and motioned for her to fold herself into his arms, which she did, resting her cheek against his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

Their arrangement had worked just fine for her, until she had told him she wouldn't be seeing him and she'd spent the night alone, for the first time since Trenton. Next thing she knew, she'd longed for him to be home with her. She'd found herself thinking about him constantly, wondering what he was up to at that moment, if he'd already eaten, what he'd had for dinner. Although she hadn't spent the entire night at his place yet – save for their first night – she found herself craving his presence next to her in bed.

What was she so afraid of?

"I understand why you're hesitant to let into Rachel's life someone who may leave at any time," he told her after a moment. "But you've gotta understand something. I'm not going anywhere."

She didn't reply.

"I know when it gets hard my first instinct is to run for the hills," he continued. "But I need to know that you're gonna stick around, too. That you want me around." He rested his chin on the top of her head and whispered into her hair, "Let me in, Cuddy."

She pulled away to stare up at him. "I want you around," she promised him, caressing his elbow for emphasis. "I want you in. House… I wouldn't have broken off my engagement if I didn't." He nodded. She pursed her lips. "I know you're not gonna run for the hills. You can't run."

A tiny smirk appeared on his face – Cuddy was the only one who dared bring up his disability. He liked that about her.

But she knew she had to do more than that if she wanted him to believe her.

"You're staying late tonight?" he asked.

"Yes. Board meeting."

"Me, too." She playfully arched an eyebrow at his answer. "Just not a board meeting."

"Of course not."

"Call me when you get home."

There was a pause that lasted as long as a heartbeat. "Only if you pack an overnight bag."

He tried to hide his smile – and failed beautifully.