Chapter 3.
Here I Am

Things were still a bit sour between Jack and Vicky in the days that followed, but eventually he was able to overlook the topic of their ire when she'd failed to bring it up any further. If he could make things look like they were going better than they actually were, he could manage to fool both himself and Vicky – about the restaurant and their relationship.

But it was one night during dinner when Jack couldn't cover up how exhausted he was that it became difficult to ignore either situation any further.

"Did I tell you that Brenda and Victor are engaged?" Vicky remarked. "She's asked me to be her maid of honor."

Jack, too preoccupied with the stress of that day's work, took some time to respond. He idly used his fork to push around the leftover contents of his plate before processing that she'd spoken. "Huh?" he looked up, unaware of what she'd said. "Oh, that's nice, Vicky."

She glared at him inquisitively, having sensed his detachment all night. "Jack, did you even hear what I just said?"

"Hmm?" He finally managed to snap out of it. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just…it's been a long day."

Vicky hesitated. "Oh? Have things been picking up at the restaurant?"

"Picking up? Uh…yeah! Yeah, they're picking up," he lied, stumbling over his words as he tried to cover up his doubts.

"Jack, is everything alright? It seems like the pressure of things is really getting to you lately."

He sighed, giving up his act. "I don't know. I've been feeling guilty all day about having to fire one of the guys. Money is tight. I just can't afford to pay everyone right now."

Vicky frowned. "Didn't you just let someone go a couple of weeks ago?"

Jack thumped his head onto the table, defeated. "Mmhm."

She furrowed her brow, concerned. "I hate to see you so worried about all of this."

He picked his head back up. "I hate to be so worried about all of this. But I guess it's just the nature of business."

Vicky nodded sympathetically before adding, "Well, not all business."

"Huh?"

"Well some businesses are public necessities, so there's always a steady income."

He stared at her blankly, suspicious. "Alright…"

"For instance, waste management. It - "

"There it is," Jack thumped his hand on the table. "I have to give you credit, it was really clever the way you seamlessly slipped it into the conversation."

"Jack…"

"It must've been gnawing at you, not bringing it up for weeks while you watched and, let's be honest, probably secretly reveled in the fact that the restaurant isn't doing well."

"Jack, that's not fair. I just want what's best for you."

"What's best for me, or what's best for you?"

She stared at him and then looked away. "But daddy says –"

"I don't care what your father says. What about what I say? What about what I want?"

She still wouldn't look at him.

"When are you ever going to break away from the hold that your father has on you? Aren't I important, too?"

He didn't wait for her to answer and left the kitchen in a huff before he slumped onto the couch with his head in his hands. After a long sigh, running his hands through his hair in frustration, his eyes landed on the telephone.

…

"Come on, Janet. When are you going to stop with the silent treatment?"

"What silent treatment? I just yelled at you just this morning."

Phillip sighed. He knew he'd hit a nerve this time with the news about their impending move. Janet was stubborn, but he'd never seen her being so unreasonable.

"Call me crazy, but it doesn't seem like you're even trying to entertain the idea at all," he quipped.

Janet brought the knife she'd been using to chop up some lettuce down onto the cutting board. She'd been steadily managing to put some of the skills Jack had taught her to good use over the past years. "Ha!" she squeaked, before turning around to face him. "Entertain? Phillip, how can I entertain a decision you've already made?"

"I told you that I just assumed - "

"Well you assumed wrong." She turned back around to continue cutting.

"So what you're saying is that you've already made your decision."

"I'm saying," she turned around with knife in hand, mindlessly waving it via the movement of her hands as she spoke, "that I'd just like to make my own decisions."

Phillip winced at each movement before Janet realized her unintended violent maneuvers and sheepishly turned back to face the counter.

"I hate to ask…but does that mean you're open to negotiation?"

Janet slowly set everything down and steadily walked toward the entrance to the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't feel comfortable being around you while I have a knife in my hand."

"Janet," he whined, walking after her. "Come on, Janet. We have to settle this once and for all. I don't like it when you're so hostile."

She pinched her forehead in frustration, not turning to face him. "I just want to be respected, Phillip. I want to know that what I want matters."

"It does matter," he said, hugging her from behind and trying to butter her up. "I guess I just thought I'd be better at guessing what your feelings would be. Listen," he said, turning her around to face him. "Give it more time. Just think about it." He paused. "It's important to me."

He gave her a kiss on the forehead and left the room, leaving her alone in silence and not feeling any better. Who the hell did he think he was, putting this all on her? This was not a decision she ever wanted to have to make on her own. The position he'd put her in wasn't a fair one. Either choose to stay home and risk bitter resentment from her husband, or support him and leave the life she'd known for years behind forever. She hated Phillip for doing this to her. She hated feeling so alone.

The ring of the phone startled Janet out of her thoughts. Jenny, she thought. Or Terri. Probably Terri. Terri always called once a week to check in and to update Janet about how well things were going in Hawaii, and Janet always pretended not to be a little bit jealous. After all, it was Hawaii.

"Hello?" Her voice was melodious, relieved to have a friend to spill her guts to at last.

And it was so good to hear it. It was much too far and few between these days that he did.

"Hi." The smile on his face affected the tone of his voice. "Janet?"

She was taken aback. "Jack?"

"Hey!"

"Hey!" She nearly spit out the word as a laugh, the smile on her face was so big. "I can't believe you actually called."

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah," she conceded.

"Well. Here I am."

She breathed a chuckle. "So you are."

"How are you?" They both spoke over each other at the same time. "I'm fine," they lied.

There was a pause in the midst of their brief but already awkward conversation.

Finally, Jack conceded with a sigh. "Janet?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"I lied. I'm not fine."

She frowned. "Yeah. Me neither."

They each proceeded to exchange their current frustrations with their significant others. Janet's situation scared Jack possibly more than his own.

"You're not really going to move, are you?" he quietly asked.

She paused. "I don't know. I just…I'm not normally a prideful person, Jack, but I'm just so darn tired of – of not being treated with the respect I deserve."

"You're not being prideful, Janet. He's putting you in a terrible position."

"I think both of us are being cornered into unfair decisions," she added.

She couldn't see his downcast eyes, heavy with contemplation. "God, Janet, I don't know what I'd do without you around. We never see each other anymore and I know that's my fault - "

"Completely your fault," Janet made sure to add.

He cracked a grin - she could be relentless. But she was right. He knew he owed it to her to make up for his behavior somehow. More than anything he simply wanted to make up for lost time. He wanted to remedy what they'd lost.

Suddenly Jack shot up, energized with a new idea. "Janet!" he cried, startling her on the other end of the line. "I've got it! We could go on a trip to Big Bear! Like old times!"

"What?" Her voice was hesitant. "Us? On a trip? Now?"

"Yeah, sure! It'd be the perfect opportunity to spend some time together before you - " He cut himself off, opting not to address the possibility. "And hey, you know what? Vicky and Phillip can come, too. Why not?" he cracked.

Janet giggled. "Do you really think it's a good idea? With everything that's going on…?"

"Sure it's a good idea! Has anything ever gone wrong on a trip before?" he joked.

The smile still remained on her face as she tried to grow serious. "I just worry about what could go wrong when things are so tense on both ends." She stopped, her mind rapid fire as an idea hit her. "Unless…"

"Unless? What unless?" Jack asked, a bit nervous. He'd known Janet long enough to recognize the tone in her voice when she was about to conspire a scheme that would make Lucy Ricardo look tame.

She shook her head. "Nothing. It's overkill."

"Well now I've gotta know!"

Janet smirked mischievously. "I feel like Phillip is taking me for granted, right? And I know you feel the same way about Vicky. "

"Hmph. I'll say."

"Well…what if we gave them a reason to stop taking us for granted, Jack?"

Jack furrowed his brow. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, what if we gave them a reason to panic? A way for them to see what they're in danger of losing?" Slowly, she went on, "Jack, what if we used the trip to stage an affair? Between the two of us?"

He nearly dropped the phone in response to her suggestion. Steadying himself, he slowly took in the idea. It was thrilling and terrifying at the same time. Still, he felt like he was at the point where he'd try anything to remedy his life's problems. More than anything, there was an excitement in temporarily reverting back to the off-the-wall life he'd known while living in apartment 201. He had a growing feeling that Janet's reasoning was somewhat similar.

He bit the inside of his lip and briefly rolled the idea round in his mind.

"Tell me more."