Chapter 4

Let's Start A Fire

The cabin they'd all rented was not unsimilar to the one Jack and Janet had stayed in with Larry and Terri just a few short years before. It was slightly roomier- just to the right was a mini kitchen area - but it still had the loft, the high ceiling complete with skylights, and, directly in the back across from the door, a classic stone fireplace. The women entered first, followed by the men with the bags, Jack trailing slightly behind Phillip before kicking the door shut.

They'd all ridden up together in Phillip's brand new, roomy Mercedes-Benz, top down with a perfect early fall breeze. Janet supposed she wasn't too surprised at Phillip's enthusiasm when she suggested the trip. He knew full well how upset she still was with him, and probably took it as an olive branch. She'd made sure to remind him that it was merely a way to get their mind off of things for a bit, and was in no way a white flag.

Jack had played up the trip pretty much the same way with Vicky. A vacation always made things better, he'd convinced her, and maybe it would clear their minds of their disagreements. Feeling a bit guilty and taken by Jack's enthusiasm, Vicky had agreed.

When the other two were busy unpacking their things, Jack pulled Janet aside.

"How come you haven't said anything yet?"

"What?"

"We haven't really done anything yet to imply any, you know…hanky panky."

"Look, we haven't been presented with a proper opportunity just yet. I want to make a lasting impression on them, and I'm not wasting my performance on you if they're not even going to notice."

"When is hanky-panky ever a waste?" he joked as he pinched her behind, causing her to jump and laugh before she smacked him on the arm.

Almost simultaneously, Vicky walked out from the bedroom that she had chosen for her and Jack. "You two having fun already?" she smiled, having only heard their giggles.

"What? Nothing. We weren't doing - "

Janet nudged Jack in the stomach, and he took the hint.

"I mean…" he began, as he placed his arm around Janet and squeezed it. He took on a husky inflection and went on, "I mean we weren't doing…anything." He drew out the last word dramatically before biting his lower lip, and Janet, slightly amused, shook her head.

"Okay," Vicky shrugged, unfazed.

Phillip walked out next. "Well, the bedroom's all set up for you."

Janet's eyes widened and Jack dug his nails dug into her arm, "What?"

"For Janet. Didn't you say you wanted to get some rest so we could have an early start tomorrow?"

The misunderstanding faded from their minds. "Oh," Janet replied. "Right. I did say that. Well," she said, turning to the other couple, "I guess we'll see you two in the morning." She drew out her words as if she had a plan, while simultaneously not knowing what the hell she was doing.

Jack searched her eyes and made a motion as if to say "what gives?" She silently reassured him in return before entering her room with Phillip.

As quickly as she could, Janet slipped into her nightgown and robe, nearly falling over in the rush.

"Phillip, honey?" she asked, steadying herself with her hand against the wall.

"Yes, Janet?" he said, slipping into bed with some documents he needed to review for work.

"Wouldn't you like…" she cleared her throat to give herself more time to think. "Wouldn't you like, um, a nice hot cup of tea before you fall asleep?"

He winced. "You know tea gives me an upset stomach."

"Alright, I'll make you some hot cocoa then," she said quickly, heading to the door and knowing full well they didn't have any with them. She shut the door behind her and leaned against it to catch her breath, then glanced over at the door to Jack and Vicky's room.

Gliding toward it, she hit the door as discreetly as she could manage. Vicky answered a short moment later.

"Oh, hello…there," Janet said, not having expected Vicky to be the one to answer the door. "I'm sorry, I must've hit the door on accident when I tripped. I was going to make some hot cocoa for Phillip."

"Oh, that's okay. Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine." She forced a cough as she called Jack's name. "Excuse me," she apologized. "Well, goodnight!"

"Goodnight," Vicky responded, confused but unfazed.

Before the door was completely shut, Jack pushed his way out. "Did somebody say cocoa?"

Janet pulled him by the arm, causing him to stumble toward her. "Will you get out here?" she growled, shutting the door behind him.

"Are we going to start our affair now?" he joked.

Janet pinched her nose while shaking her head. "Look, we have to be strategic about this, alright? One wrong move and it's too obvious. Another, and it's not obvious enough. We don't want to make them mad, just a little jealous."

"I feel like you're making this far more complicated than it needs to be."

"Just trust me, okay?" she replied. "Let's start a fire."

"Now you're talking," he strode over to her.

She turned around, stopping him in his tracks, and handed him some matches. "Here, you do it."

"Me? You're giving matches to me?"

Janet smiled and nodded, not acknowledging the danger she may be putting them in by placing the ingredients for fire in Jack Tripper's hands. "I'll be right back."

She entered her room again to check on Phillip. "You still awake?"

"Of course. Hey, where's my cocoa?"

"You're what? Oh! Right. The cocoa. It is currently being made…and don't worry, Jack is not out there with me and nothing else is going on besides the cocoa. Being made. On the stove."

Phillip furrowed his brow, but ignored her strange behavior. Instead, he replied, "Do you smell fire?"

"What?" she panicked internally. "Fire? Oh! The stove. The gas stove. I'll be right back."

She slammed the door behind her once more, and made her way to the fireplace. Jack had a small fire going and she let out a sigh of relief.

"Not half bad, if I do say so myself," Jack gloated.

"I'll take those," she said, grabbing the matches out of his hand.

"Why did I make a fire again?"

"To draw attention. Phillip's already asking questions," she grinned.

Jack paused. "Now what?"

Janet clearly hadn't thought this through at all. Her smile faded as she racked her brain for their next move, Jack staring expectantly into her eyes as he waited for an answer. And then she realized that this was the first time in a long time that she actually had time to hang out with Jack, and here they were worrying about petty details. Wasn't being together in front of a roaring fire with so much to talk about enough?

She sat next to Jack, who had plopped himself in front of the fire. "Tell me about things," she smiled over at him.

He glanced over at her quizzically. "What things?"

A grin was still on her face as she scowled. "Tell me about how you've been doing. You know this is the first time in a long time that you and I have had the chance to, you know, talk."

He frowned. "Nothing besides what I've already told you."

"Oh, come on," she replied, placing her hand on his shoulder. "It can't all be bad. There has to be more going on in your life than just whatever's going on with Vicky and the restaurant."

"Well," he began, cracking a smile as he turned to face her, "There's you."

"What about me?"

"Having you around again. That's probably one of the better things going on."

She shook her head, not taking him too seriously. "Probably, huh?"

"Definitely," he fake punched her on the arm, and she returned the action.

The expression on her face sunk. "I still don't understand why you were avoiding me all that time."

He sighed, frustrated that she'd brought it up again and having hoped he'd be able to skirt the question all together. "Because, Janet, I couldn't – I mean, I didn't - " He caught himself off guard, not sure what he was ready to admit, or what answers he was even able to provide.

She stood up, suddenly a bit peeved. "So you were avoiding me," she huffed, pacing the area in front of the fire.

Jack got up, repeating her actions as he followed her in circles. "Janet, that came out wrong."

"No, it came out just right, didn't it?" She turned to face him, an accusing finger causing him to back toward the fireplace with each word she spoke. "There's a reason behind why you wouldn't speak to me for a year, but you won't admit it, will you?"

"Not the finger," he interrupted her.

"I'm not finished yet, Jack! That's another thing! You won't even let me - " She stopped dead in her tracks. "Do you smell something burning?"

He made a mocking facial expression at her, amused that she would ask such a stupid question. "I don't know, Janet, maybe it's the logs on fire behind me," he rolled his eyes and turned to point before letting out a classic Jack Tripper shriek.

"Jack, your robe is on fire!"

"I can see that!" he said, panic in his voice as he quickly removed it and threw it across the room.

"What are you doing?!" Janet yelled as quietly as she could before the still on fire robe landed underneath one of the windows and ignited the curtains.

"Oh no." Jack froze. "Janet, do something!"

"Me?!"

"You're the one who caught me on fire!"

"Janet? What's going on out there?" Phillip's voice. Janet's eyes grew large.

"Jack, is everything alright?" Vicky's.

In a panic, Janet ran toward Jack's room and Jack toward hers. Immediately realizing their mistake, they switched before the other opened the door. In their rush, they bumped into one another and fell to the floor.

Simultaneously, "What are you doing? I thought you were going to put out the fire! Me? What about you?"

"Take care of that! I'll be right back!" Janet yelled quietly. "Don't tell them anything!"

"Why not?!"

"It'll ruin the plan!"

He nodded and grabbed the emergency fire extinguisher he'd spotted near the fireplace and hurried over to the window. "Everything's…everything's fine, Vicky! I'll be right there!" he yelled over each spray.

Janet slammed the door shut once she'd entered her room. "Hi," she smiled as calmly and convincingly as she could, which wasn't very, as she brushed her hair out of her face.

"What's all that noise?" Phillip asked.

"Noise? What noise?"

They could clearly hear the sounds of the fire extinguisher going off on the other side of the door.

"Oh, that noise," Janet forced a laugh. "Well, it's a funny story, really."

Janet was interrupted by the sound of Jack's shrieks of struggle.

"Is Jack out there with you?"

Her first response was impulsive. "What? No!" Then, she caught herself. "I mean…he might be. How would…how would that make you feel?" she stumbled over her words, speaking as nonchalantly as possible.

"Fine I suppose, but - "

Jack calling for Janet interrupted him. "Hold that thought," Janet replied before slamming the door behind her. Should found Jack still struggling to put out the flames, which had grown since she'd left him because he seemed to be spraying everything except the fire itself.

"Take this! I'll be right back!"

Before she could protest he had entered his own room, leaving her to properly aim the extinguisher at the base of the flames.

"Jack, what is going on?" Vicky said as she jumped out of bed.

"It depends," he said catching his breath, but still trying to play the game. "What do you think is going on?"

"I don't know, but it doesn't sound very good. What are you two doing?"

They heard a few last blasts of the extinguisher from the other room.

"Just enjoying a nice – a nice fire," he stuttered.

"Oh?" Vicky finally appeared to be a bit suspicious. "Then I suppose you wouldn't mind if I joined - "

"Ding!" he shrieked out of nowhere. "What was that? The stove? The cocoa's done? Excuse me, Vicky."

"But - "

He slammed the door on her, and when he turned around he stood face-to-face with an ash covered, incredulous Janet.

"I'm going to kill you." Her voice was monotone.

"Me?! You're the one who nearly pushed me into the fire!"

"You're the one who made me upset!"

"Well you're the one who - "

"Janet! Jack!" Their respective significant others called again, causing them both to run to their doors and hold them shut.

"Do you really think this is worth it?" Jack gasped.

"That's what we're trying to find out," she replied in kind as she examined the state they'd made of the room. Before them lay a mess of ash, tattered curtains, and fire extinguisher residue which, thanks to Jack, covered the walls, floor, and even the ceiling. Her face dropped and she looked defeated. "What are we going to tell them?"

Jack saw the worry in her face and relented. It was all her idea, but he'd readily agreed to it and had left the entire execution of it up to her. "I have an idea."

Her face lit up as she turned to look at him.

"We tell them the truth."

"What? But we can't - "

"Think about it, Janet. You and I sitting in the dark in front of a roaring fire, getting into a tussle, if you know what I mean," he bit his lip, "and losing ourselves in a moment of passion so strong and heated that we don't realize how close we are to the flames…"

Janet couldn't help but chuckle at how both silly and brilliant he sounded. "Maybe we don't put it in those exact words. We don't want them walking out on us completely."

"No, we don't, do we?" he winked, to which she smiled and shook her head once more.