~Katniss~
I was nervous, no beyond nervous for today. We were in District One and Cato and I killed both of their Tributes. They would hate us. But they would hate me the most, because me, from District Twelve the lowest District killed Glimmer. And Cato killed Marvel because of me, so I could live, to save me. But right now I stood with Cinna in my room as he and my prep team helped me get ready and be presentable. I sat on a stool while Octavia had just finished applying make up to my eyes.
"There, perfect." she said with a clap of her hands an walked out by Cinna's orders.
"Are you ready for your dress?" he asked and I just shrugged.
"As I'll ever be." I said.
"Close your eyes." he said gently and I did so, biting my lip slightly as well. I felt the light and feathery fabric fall onto my body. I lifted my arms up through the sleeves as Cinna instructed. "I'm going to walk you to a mirror okay?" he asked and I nodded, still biting my lip. "Stop biting your lip Katniss." he said chuckling. "Octavia will have your head if she sees your lips and thinks it's ruined. Now open." he finished. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a dark navy blue dress, floor length but from mid-thigh and down the fabric became sheer and was covered in blue feathers the same shade as the rest of the dress, but with white feathers to lighten it. On the fabric above the feathers the cloth was glittery and the collar went straight across my collar bone. I turned to see the back and saw it exposed, an open back showing off my scars.
"Are you sure?" I asked him looking at my scars that went across my back in every which way.
"It shows that you've had it rough, that you are more than a pretty face."
"And the feathers?" I asked as I ran my hands over them.
"Just something to fit the District of Luxury. Don't worry when you get back on the train you can rip the thing off and never see it again." he said with a wave of his hand trying to make me laugh. And it worked. I hugged him and thanked him for the dress before he helped me into my shoes and walked me out to meet everybody else. Effie and Haymitch were there but not Brutus and Cato.
"Where's Cato and Brutus?" I asked them.
"Brutus is finishing up with Cato, they had to talk about something." Haymitch said taking a sip of his drink just as Cato and Brutus walked out. Cato wore black pants and jacket with a shirt the same color of my dress and a white tie to match the feathers in my dress. I turned just as he walked out and he caught a glimpse of my back. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me.
"Hey." he said to me lamely, obviously he was a little nervous, but about what I don't know. He walked over to me and gave me a hug, running his hands up and down my back. "Are you sure about your scars?" he asked pulling away from me. I was about to answer but Cinna did for me, telling Cato the same thing he told me.
"It shows that she's more than a pretty face. That even somebody with that much fire can be hurt too." he explained and I nodded in agreement.
"Well you look great either way." Cato said, putting his eyes back on me.
"Yes yes you both look great but we are on a schedule and have to go." Effie said as she ushered us off of the train. Cato grasped my small hand in his big one and brought it to his lips, kissing it lightly. When we got into the car to take us to the Town Square I rested my head on Cato's shoulder.
"You can do this." he encouraged and I did my best to nod. "And afterward we can go back to the train and relax." he reminded kissing the top of my head. My hair was in pristine curls and my make-up was done dramatically to match my dress.
"I can't wait to get out of this dress." I grumbled fingering the feathers with the hand that wasn't holding Cato's.
"Itchy?" he asked.
"No I just feel exposed is all. I've never shown off my scars like this before. I've always hid them." I said to him. He squeezed my hand a little tighter and sighed.
"Well maybe it's time to show Panem the real you. Not the Girl On Fire, just Katniss." he said trying to encourage me.
"And if they don't like just Katniss?" I asked him.
"What does it matter? The Capitol loves you, I love you, and your family and friends love you. That's what matters." he told me and I gave a weak smile. My friends, what will they think now that Peeta isn't here anymore?
"I have a feeling my friends are going to be a little less loving when I return."
"Because Peeta's gone?"
"Yeah. I don't know how they are going to treat me." I admitted.
"But you tried. You tried to get to him in time and you tried to help him. That should count for something." he reassured.
"I know but I just can't help but feel scared." I told him, as he brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it.
"I'll be there for you when we get to Twelve. I'll be by your side." he whispered to me. I was about to say something again but the car stopped and Effie was quick to open our doors and get us out onto the stage. Cato and I sat in chairs next to each other as the mayor of the District made his speech. Then it was our turn.
Cato held my hand through both of ours, and when I gave my scripted speech he squeezed my hand, letting me know that he was there for me. As I looked at the crowd every once in a while from my script, I saw half of the male population glaring at me, and even some of the girls. The boys must have known Glimmer well. And the girls, I don't know why they were glaring at me. I looked around trying to find Glimmer's and Marvel's family. Soon I found a man who looked like Marvel with a woman next to him, and a little girl clutching onto her. Must be his parents and sister. The little girl looked only a couple years old, maybe two. I felt a tug on my heart at that thought, a little girl lost her brother, her parents looked angry at me while the little girl just cried.
Next I found Glimmer's family. A woman with the same blonde hair and a boy standing next to her who looked just like Glimmer, they must have been twins. There was no sign of a father. Was he alive or did he leave the family? Or was he just back home, not wanting to be here? Whatever the reason I'm almost happy that I don't have to talk to their families, they would hate me and I would cry for their loss. Finally I was done with my speech and we were able to get back on the train, thank God. The first thing I did was storm to my room with Cato hot on my heels.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah I'm fine. I just wish I hadn't gone into the Games. Seeing who I think is Marvel's sister crying it made me think of Prim." I said to him as I kicked my shoes off and tried to get my dress off. Cato came up behind me and helped me out of it. Thank God Cinna had me put on a slip otherwise I would be nervous of Cato seeing me in my underwear. But this isn't much better. Once I had it off I quickly put on a robe and helped him with his tie.
"That wasn't his sister." he said hesitantly.
"Who was it?" I asked him, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.
"That was his daughter." he said in a soft voice. I took a step back from him in shock.
"What?" I asked on the brink of tears.
"He got a girl pregnant a few years ago. She gave birth to her and left her on his doorstep. He's been taking care of her ever since. He loved that little girl." Cato said, a tone of sadness in his voice.
"You mean that we killed-" but I couldn't finish, my body was taking over with sobs. We killed the father of that littler girl. Her mother didn't want her and her father had died in the Games.
"No, I was the one that killed him. I should be the one to feel guilty and I do. As soon as I did it I thought of that girl. It's my fault she has to grow up without her father.
"But he died because of me. He was killed because you wanted to save me." I said to him and he was silent. He just held me as I cried. My tears soaked his shirt as I sobbed into his chest. When I calmed down enough to talk again I asked a question that bothered me as I sobbed. "What is her name?" I asked him, my voice shaking.
"I think he said her name was Pamela."
"He wanted to win the Game for her, to get back to her didn't he? He volunteered for her didn't he?" I asked him and he nodded slowly.
"There has to be something we can do for her. There has to be." I pleaded to him ad he sighed.
"There is." he said as he took a locket out of his pocket. "He gave this to me to give to her. She turned four while we were in the Arena. He knew that he wouldn't get out of there but still tried." he said sadly. I pressed my palm to his cheek and made him look at me.
"How about we get changed and go take it to her. If we can't do anything else we have to do this." I told him and he kissed my forehead.
"Okay." he agreed and I went back to getting his tie off as he took off his jacket. He had gone back to his room to finish getting changed and I slipped on a long sleeve forest green shirt with a scoop neck and some dark brown pants with brown shoes. I left my hair that way it is but washed the make up off my face. I wanted to be somewhat normal looking again. When I was done I walked out and found Cato wearing black pants, shirt, and shoes waiting for me. He had the necklace in his hand looking down at it.
"Ready?" I asked him and he slowly nodded. He showed me the opened locket and I saw the picture of Marvel and Pamela and the inscription on the other side.
I love you Lala
~Daddy
The sight brought a tear to my eye as I saw them smiling in the picture. Cato wiped the tear from my eyes before pulling me into a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist as mine went around his shoulders. I had to calm down, or I would never be able to leave this train. I pulled away after a few moments and looked up at him.
"What if they don't accept it?" I asked him.
"They'll have to, it's from Marvel." he said, taking my hand and gently pulling me out of the train. We found a Peacekeeper who was able to take us to Marvel's old home where his parents and daughter still lived. It was a nice house, two stories, painted a light shade of yellow, and shudders on every window. Together we walked up the steps to the door and knocked on it. A moment later his mother opened the door, glaring at us.
"What do you want?" she asked with venom in her voice. "Come to kill off the rest of the family?" she asked bitterly.
"No, we have something from Marvel." Cato spoke out and her eyes softened.
"What is it?"
"It's for Pamela." I said softly, hoping she would trust us even in the slightest bit. She opened the door a little more and looked at us.
"The locket?" she questioned and we nodded. She opened the door all the way and let us in. There in the living room we saw Pamela holding a teddy bear with tears falling down her cheeks.
"Pamela?" Marvel's mom said catching the little girl's attention. When she saw us a glare formed on her little face.
"What are they doing here?" she asked angrily, I winced at her tone, no child that small should feel such anger.
"They have something from Daddy for you." her grandmother said and the Pamela perked up.
"What is it?" she asked standing up and walking over to us, curiousness evident in her eyes. I knelt down in front of her.
"It's a gift from him for your birthday. You're four now right?" I asked her, trying to get her to talk more.
"Yeah, I turned four during the Games." she said sadly but a little proudly. I felt Cato kneel down next to me and looked at her.
"Well your Daddy gave me something to give to you." he said holding out the locket for her. Gently, she took it from his hand and held it up.
"The necklace." she said with some shock in her eyes.
"You've seen this before?" I asked her, hoping she would open up.
"We was walking in the Town Square one day after school. I saw it in a window and showed it to him, I thought it was pretty and I liked it." she said examining the locket closely.
"Why don't you look inside." Cato suggested and she nodded. As she opened it her grandmother came behind her to see what was in it. When the little girl saw the inscription tears started to fall down her little cheeks. What she did next surprised me, I never thought she would do it.
"Will you put it on me?" she asked me, surprised, I nodded as she handed it back to me and turned around, lifting her soft curls up so I could clasp it around her neck. When it was on her she turned around and hugged both of us. I glanced at Cato and he was as surprised as I was. I wrapped an arm around her as she continued to hug us. She pulled away and went back to her bear. Marvel's mom looked at us with gratitude.
"Thank you for doing that for her." she said to us looking back at the lonely girl.
"It was no problem. I can't tell you how sorry we are for everything." Cato said to her.
"As much as I want him back here, I understand why you did it. You two love each other. I just wish her mother loved him as much as he loved her. Then maybe he wouldn't have gone in." She told us. It surprised me even more that she wasn't mad anymore.
"If there is anything you need, for Pamela or yourself, don't hesitate to let us know." I told her and she nodded.
"Thank you. Now you should go, get back to your sister." she said. As we walked out the door I took one last glance at the two of them and I saw the girl looking in awe at the piece of jewelry around her neck. Once we were out the door and on our way back to the train I finally spoke up again.
"We did good right?" I asked looking up at Cato. He looked at me and gave me a smile.
"Yeah we did good." he said before pulling me to him and kissing me on my lips. Together we walked back to the train with his arm around my shoulder, keeping me close. The walk back to the train was silent, but it was comfortable. His hand would rub up and down my arm every now and then as we walked, and when he did I would lean my head against his shoulder. When we got back to the train it was nearly dark and Effie was furious.
"Now just where the hell were you two?" she shrilled in her Capitol accent. "Don't you know how dangerous it is to be out this late at night?" she questioned.
"Effie not now." I warned hoping she would back off. Where was Haymitch and Brutus when I need them? Probably getting drunk in the bar car.
"Not now? I will keep pestering you until you tell me where you were without telling anybody." she shouted. I glared at her and felt Cato clasp his hand around mine, telling me to calm down a little. And I did, but I was still mad.
"We just gave a gift to the daughter of a dead Tribute. Is that what you wanted to hear? We just made a child slightly more happy even though she has to grow up without a father. And the worst part of it is that I can relate. I grew up without a father, her mother isn't around and mine hardly ever was for a while until she checked back into reality!" I shouted at her. Her glare softened and Cato wrapped an arm around my waist, trying to lead me to our room. "So next time you want to know where we were, be a little nicer about it." I hissed before letting Cato tug me away. When we got to our room I sighed, knowing I just blew that out of proportion.
"Are you okay?" he asked me once I had settled down.
"I need to apologize to her. I was harsh." I admitted, running a hand through my hair.
"Later." he said, taking my hand from my hair and holding it in his lap. "But for now let's get some rest, it's been a long day." he said as he leaned down, bringing me with him so I was half on his chest.
"What happened to the arrogant and cocky Cato I met at the Academy?" I asked him. I had to admit I was curious, what had made him care for me so much.
"He fell in love with a fiery spirit and knew there was no going back." he said into my hair, kissing it lightly. "I fought it for so long, but I always sort of knew that I had these feelings. I just didn't want to admit it."
"So what changed? What made you want to finally come to grips with it?" I asked him softly.
"When I saw you at the parade. I didn't watch your Reaping, I didn't think I needed to. I thought that because you came to the Academy that you were from a higher District and just didn't volunteer. Clove called you Katniss and not Spitfire so I didn't know it was you. Not until the parade when I saw you up on the screens and on fire. I knew that I couldn't deny those feelings anymore, because after the Games, I wouldn't have the chance to tell you."
"But then there was the rule change." I continued.
"Our blessing in disguise." he commented. "I don't know what I would've done without you. If you had died before the Games ended, I think I would've killed myself."
"I'm glad you didn't." I said resting my hand on his chest as it rose and fell with his every breath.
"I'm glad you didn't die." he said finally. He placed his hands on my hips and turned me so I was face to face with him. "I love you." he whispered, looking deep into my eyes before placing a delicate kiss on my lips. I returned the kiss and he pulled away after a few seconds.
"I love you too." I whispered in return. A grin graced his lips and kissed my forehead.
"We should get some sleep." he said and I nodded. He shifted so he could get the blankets out from under him so he could cover us with them. I shifted to I lay next to him and he pulled me tight to his chest. I could hear the sound of his heartbeat and his breathing and I could swear he could hear mine. But it didn't matter, we just fell asleep even though it was in our clothes.