Coach Johnson had been the last straw. Despite the morning having gone better than I could have hoped, 'better' in this case wasn't that far removed from the norm. The fact that this would be my second day skipping school barely registered in my mind, nor did the thought of the inevitable backlash of my continued absence.
Frankly I didn't care, didn't want to care, I was leaving Winslow and felt content at leaving any thoughts of it behind as well. I had been too tired to sprint out the doors as I had done only days prior. Instead, I had to slowly slink through the halls of the school carefully to avoid any teachers whose classes I missed, and who felt a sudden urge to do their jobs.
As far as mornings went, without the worry of possibly getting arrested, it would've been among the worst ones so far. It had been to the point that I decided to leave from the front doors rather than the much closer back exit. I hadn't even registered my choice at first, only realizing what I had done after I reached the front doors.
Despite my earlier feelings towards it, having to see yet another reminder of what the trio had done to me wouldn't bode well towards my current mood.
I had expended more energy in the class than I should've. I was hungry for sure but that feeling was only the tip of the iceberg, there was more to it. As if I somehow were empty or incomplete in some way. I could feel the sense of 'wrong' creep from within and throughout my body. I struggled to keep it from affecting my walk, from complicating the simple act of maintaining balance or steady breathing.
But the fact of the matter was that I was exhausted and so was my power. For the first time since I'd gotten my abilities, the wraith was gone. Even if I had only a drop of it left it would still be enough for it to leave me to gather more. Without it I was stuck without access to my powers. Part of me was somewhat concerned that I'd lost them permanently, even though I logically knew that probably wasn't the case the thought still bothered me.
I had let most of my morning be consumed with fear of both potential and real threats. Having escaped them for now, the only good thing to come out of the mornings debacle had been Sophia's confirmation that the P.R.T didn't know who I was yet.
In neither of her personas had Sophia ever been compassionate, the only reason she hadn't already revealed me to the authorities was to hold it over me as blackmail.
The memory of her pressing her foot down into my stomach was still fresh in my mind. The stain of dirt stood out in stark contrast to the white of my shirt. It was in the shape of a shoe making it easy for anyone who got close enough to guess what had happened.
I was glad to have had my jacket over the dirtied uniform as a man jogged beside his rather large dog. The weather had warmed somewhat since this morning; the city was never cold for long. Still however, the man had dressed a bit on the light side with only a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. The shirt was thin enough to show off the muscle beneath the clothing.
As he got closer, I could see- shit he was looking straight at me, he whistled towards the dog and had to do so a second time before it slowed its pace to run behind him. The exposed parts of his body glistened with a slight sheen of sweat which had inadvertently caused his shirt to cling to his muscular frame.
He drew even closer, the bulges of his veins stood out against his arms as he breathed heavily. I knew what that meant, his blood raced through his veins as they struggled to deliver oxygen to his straining muscles. It was obvious that he had been running for a while now, it wouldn't be long before he was exhausted.
My gaze rose up and away from his arms and towards the part of his body I'd get the most blood from. I knew enough about anatomy to know its neck was the best place to bite. If I did it correctly, the blood would spurt down my-.
I snapped out of my trance with the thoughts immediately losing their momentum though they still lingered like spots from a sudden flash.
I brought my walk to a halt as the realization of what I had just been contemplating sunk in. Soon after the man had stopped his own run and now stood directly in front of me.
"Are you ok?" he asked. Despite his words his tone didn't convey concern so much as they did apprehension as if he were sizing up a potential problem to deal with.
I had to look up to meet his gaze; I could feel an embarrassed blush spread through my cheeks, apparently he could see it to as his face scrunched slightly with confusion. A few moments of awkward silence stretched between us as I struggled for something to say. It was likely that he'd gotten accustomed to stares and glances that stemmed from attraction the only reason for him to stop would be if he felt threatened in some way.
I'd already eyed him up and down, it was clear that he had at least a foot and several pounds of muscle over me. Looking this time at the shirt and not the muscles beneath I could make out the image of one of the wards, Clockblocker as he stood in a dynamic pose.
With nothing else coming to mind I latched onto the first option, "oh me I'm fine really sorry to stare, that's a nice shirt a really really nice shirt where'd you get it?"He started to respond but I just kept going."No, it's okay I'll look it up myself take care."
I spoke the last part as I maneuvered around the stranger and his dog with special care around the latter who wasn't secured with a leash. The dog seemed familiar somehow but not so much that I could easily place the memory.
I heard the man whistle before commanding the dog by name,"Bastard, lets go boy."
It was an odd name for a dog, but I didn't waver long on the thought as I adopted a brisk pace away from the uncomfortable encounter.
A part of me wondered if those notions immediately prior to the conversation were real, maybe I had just been attracted to the handsome man.'Man' sure he was a bit mature but I knew what a teenager looked like. It's only natural that I'd pay extra attention to an attractive person close to my age.
Regardless of how I decided to reason away what had happened I knew it was real. That had been the first time I'd fallen into any form of blood trance. I knew undoubtedly it was connected to my powers to some unknown degree. I had neither the knowledge, resources, or energy to research what was wrong with me which made this a problem that had to wait for the time being. If anything this was probably an over-reaction on my part, I haven't eaten much in the last couple days now that I thought about it.
Perhaps there was a kernel of truth in the shows I watched growing up where the characters would see delusions of food in the absence of it. Only in this scenario blood was the replacement of regular food. Whatever the case, I didn't have time to deal with this.
I'd spent the last several days reacting from one incident to the next. If I was ever going to be an actual hero, I needed to center myself and choose a place to start. With that goal in mind, I made my way down towards the Brockton Bay Central Library. Thanks to Sophia there was very little I could've done with the heroes, the same couldn't be said for the Undersiders.
Although the group, or more honestly Lisa, had claimed themselves to be heroes I wasn't convinced that was the full truth. It didn't make sense for so called heroes to have to escape from their allies in the P.R.T. There had to be more to all of this that I hadn't been told. A few hours of research was probably just what I needed to separate fact from fiction.
An hour or two had probably passed since I had left Winslow, I estimated that my walk had carried me a decent distance away from both my school and my house. Sure I could've gone back home to use the computer there, but I had no idea when my dad would come back. It would've been a bad scenario if he caught me skipping school, doubly so if he caught me skipping school to research capes.
Even if he were gone for the whole day, I still couldn't consider my computer a viable option. I didn't understand all the details of dad's job, but I knew that it entailed being a computer expert. With recent events in mind, I didn't doubt that he had some kind of malware or backdoor handy, so he could keep an eye on what I was doing. Besides Winslow my only other choice would be to use the computers available to me at the library.
Unfortunately, the library was still several blocks away. I had enough money in my backpack to either wait for a bus or hail a cab, though neither options were very wait for either could've easily taken longer than just walking, additionally I hadn't felt like being around other people at the moment ever since the blood trance or whatever it was.
I needed to get somewhere where I could eat food without too many people around. I wasn't worried that I could be a danger to someone else, not really, I had no reason to take pointless risk.
With that I was determined to keep walking, until I reached my destination, only now I was back to mulling over the trance. I needed to focus on something else, anything else before I triggered it somehow. Once again I reached for the first thing I could recall, the image of Clockblocker on the t-shirt from earlier. I tried and mostly succeeded in ignoring the boy beneath the shirt, and thus avoiding the memories related to the actual trance.
Recalling whatever details I retained about the hero's costume. It was a simple design: a white bodysuit beneath panels of armor with a few select panels sporting digital images of ticking clocks.A feature that even extended to his face plate and helmet. I didn't know much about the cape himself, but the costume had a clear 'time' theme running through it. I was pretty sure that he had some type of power to do with time. The use and extent of that power escaped me in the moment, but I could recall a time when Emma had made me laugh when she told me his name. 'Clockblocker' I wondered who in the P.R.T signed off on that idea.
Besides the non-serious name I could appreciate the various aspects of his costume. Not only did it conceal his identity, but it also made him stand out as an actual hero not some amateur with a costume pulled together from a donation basket. Although it wasn't like I could complain about that any longer. Thanks to several barrages of gunfire, a fire breathing man-dragon, and a mutant dog the only thing left of my costume was the memory.
The only thing I had left to connect me to my cape identity was my name. 'Windigo' as a name had been Sophia's idea the only reason I'd agreed to it was because 'man-eater' seemed pretty distant from Tampon Taylor. Even now knowing that it had been Sophia the whole time, in spite of her betrayal I was going to keep the name. It was mine to keep something the bully could never take from me.
As far as a costume went I knew what I wanted in broad strokes. Ideally the costume would be primarily black with a few pieces of white armor. Despite the durability of my transformed self, recent events like the night in the warehouse made even light armor seem like a good idea. Besides the colors and armor, the costume needed to be flexible enough to fit me in every stage of my transformation. That's where I ran into problems in the past, there weren't a lot of cheap and commercially available options for a durable, lightweight, and flexible material.
The best I could find was spider silk. It had a durability similar to Kevlar but the amount I would need to cover even half of my transformed self was easily thousands of dollars. Even now I doubt I had enough to afford it. Ignoring the price that still left me with a few problems such as how i was going to receive and then tailor the expensive material without anyone noticing.
It was a mystery how groups outside the P.R.T had gotten their own costumes. As I made my way up the library steps, I made a mental note to add that question to the growing list of research topics.