Control

Kylo Ren clenched his fists at his side and pressed his lips together. He could still feel the warmth and softness of Brynn's skin on his fingertips. Why had he once again gone in there? He was nothing but a pathetic fool and he hated it. Truly pathetic. He had actually taken her shirt. That wasn't the worst part though. Instead of facing her, he had run like a coward.

What was wrong with him? How had he let things go so far? He didn't know. He wasn't even sure when it had all started. Finally he managed to take a deep breath and glance at the door. All he had to do was to march in there and say the words.

"I want you to join me in my bed tonight."

She would obey him, he knew that she would. Of course she would, she had no choice. What was he waiting for then? She belonged to him; he had every right to do whatever he wanted with her. He could imagine the look in her eyes so clearly. Fear, confusion, hurt... All the frail trust she felt for him would be gone. So what? Why would he care about her feelings? He didn't. Of course he didn't. She was nothing more than his property.

What he felt for her was nothing more than physical attraction. He simply needed to get her out of his system. Why couldn't he say those words then? He had done much worse. Yes, maybe, but he had never forced himself on a woman. A monster or not, but that was below him. At least so he had thought.

Slowly he lifted the small piece of clothing he was holding in his hand and pressed it against his face. With a sigh, he inhaled her scent. He had to make this stop, no matter what it would take. He had even considered offering her something in exchange for her willingness. Not that he would have to do that, but he didn't want to take her against her will. Unfortunately he wasn't sure if there was any way to make her give him her consent.

Sure he had looked at her surface thoughts quite often, there was something soothing about her mind, but he hadn't dug deeper. She would have noticed it and for some reason he didn't want that. Her thoughts were usually simple and practical, but he found them relaxing, especially after a long day. There was no viciousness or hidden agendas, only everyday things and modest hopes.

"He looks tired, did he sleep at all… This needs to be washed… Another wound… He should have had it cleaned already… He must be hungry… I'm tired…"

She thought that he was a good master. He wouldn't have believed it, if he wouldn't have seen the scars all over her body. Maybe he hadn't done that, but he hadn't been kind to her either. He couldn't be, he had a reputation to think about. The fact that she didn't fear him should have bothered him, but it didn't. He didn't want her to fear him.

He wanted to have her panting beneath him, moaning, crying out his name… No. This needed to stop. He couldn't have her without forcing her and he wasn't willing to sink that low. At least not yet. Still he hated this. The old he had been weak and insecure, especially with girls. He hadn't been able to even talk to them without stuttering. That wasn't him anymore.

He was the second most powerful man in the galaxy. He could have any woman he wanted. Any woman except the one sleeping behind that damn door. Silently he opened it and reached for her mind, making sure that she wouldn't wake up this time. He placed her shirt back on the chair before approaching her bed. Her dark brown hair was usually always braided in a single long plait, but not when she slept.

Now her hair was spread across the pillow. Her breathing was calm, she looked peaceful and delicate. Defenseless. How could anyone abuse her? When he had first seen her, she had been very thin. Malnourished. He had made sure that she got enough to eat here, but she hadn't yet put on much weight. Still she looked healthier. He was pleased by that.

She did have womanly figures, even if her hips weren't very wide and her breasts were quite small. He didn't care about any of that. He wanted to feel her soft hands touching every part of his body. Feeling her touch when she undressed him or gave him a massage wasn't enough. He could have more. All he had to do was wake her up and say the words. This whole nightmare could be over before the morning.

No, it wouldn't be. She would sleep peacefully and continue taunting him. The thought made him furious. What he needed right now was a distraction. Those junior officers who had mistreated her… It was time for them to learn that no one did that to his property.

He pressed his lips together and resisted his urge to touch her hair. In that moment he hated her for holding that kind of power over him. He was her master, not the other way around. That was what he kept telling himself as he turned his back on her and marched out.