Chapter 10: A Childhood Face

In the corner of the well-lit kitchen in the beach resort, Simmons watched the bubbles form with every scrub, and disappear with the force of the running water. The clear water that flowed freely without any worries, the water he could not see himself taking the shape of for his mind felt too sludgy. He rinsed the plate and dried it with the towel hanging on his shoulder. After drying, he placed the dishes in a neat, and organized manner onto the tray to the right of the sink. He looked back out to the serving floor as his eye lids slowly dropped halfway with the laziness that was accompanied by the thoughts knocking on his door. That was the first time I saw Carolina be so strict when she verbally reprimanded me for being late. He rested another dish in the drying tray and looked at the darkened water in one sink, where the dishes begged for their chance at being cleaned next. He slowly slithered his fingers up to his chest and let out a heavy breath like a tired athlete. His eyes squeezed shut to the noises around him for he was now only left alone with his darkness. Why do I feel so weak right now, why does everything seem to go wrong?!

A sudden chilly gust alerted Simmons as his eyes burst open. He took in a deep, momentary breath and looked in the direction of his back. The glaze of pink and red were now a familiar sight, and one he dared not be frightened of anymore. Beside them stood his two long lost connections too, Edwards and Elsie. Edwards looked over the counter and hummed a happy tune to himself. He watched the various workers go about their duties, when he suddenly stopped and to Simmons the world had gone silent. The silence only broke with the footsteps that turned Edwards towards Simmons. Edwards wore a saddened expression, but worse than that, one of pity as he asked, "Is this what you imagined your life to come to?"

Simmons shook his head as he quickly ignored the hallucination. However, as much as he wanted to ignore his ghosts, they certainly did not take too kindly to the gesture. Simmons heard a sudden thud behind him and looked to find a head on the ground, covered in crimson coated grey hair. Elsie's body fell to its knees, as she finally arched forward to reveal her exposed neck. Simmons' mind was blank for the moment, then filled with panic, and the panic turned to terror. Yet he masked every second of it, he let every second of it fall to the wayside for he maintained an iron face. Edwards bent down to his grandmother and lifted her head. He slowly held it close with his voice breaking. He asked, "Is this normal life giving you the peace you need?"

Donut felt his legs weaken, and with the uncompromising pull of gravity, the pinkie fell. Like a bomb, he exploded from his torso to cover the corner of the kitchen in dark red. No inch was spared and Simmons was made most familiar with the haunting war memories. Is it you next Sarge? He wondered as he eyed his mentor. Simmons reached for a dirty water glass to his side, with a tight squeeze, as if it was a stress ball. The young boy approached his best friend with the head in hand, his expression slowly turned grim as he held Simmons by his jeans. Edwards held up Elsie's head in one hand and dug his nails into Simmons' leg with the other, all the whilst asking, "Is this how you handle the guilt and fear?!"

Yet another familiar sound pierced his ears, a needler shot several bullets. Sarge grunted at the impact as he quietly fell to the floor. Blood trailed down his red armour, and turned the once colour of bravery, hope and leadership into a painful memory. No more, Simmons pondered as he struggled against Edwards. But his struggle spelled a useless effort for he knew that the ghosts would never leave him alone. He was too precious to them to just let go so easily. A beeping suddenly echoed from Edwards' neck collar. Please, no more...

The head exploded like a watermelon suddenly depressurized, red in all different directions with hard pieces of the collar and the skull. The grey matter, and the eyeballs mixed into the explosion left a trail of several liquids behind Simmons, forever a mark of his monumental failure. The lives he cost by being unable to act, being unable to decide and being unable to control the situation he was given. Let me be, leave me alone. He felt his grip loosen on the glass, and as the loud shatter scattered the pieces all across the floor, his mind came running back to reality. He looked with a jolt around to the gazes he had gathered at the sudden noise. There is no blood, he thought studying his clean uniform. There is no blood at all. Other employees quickly rushed to his side as they studied the situation with relief, no personnel injury was sustained. At least not any they could see. One attended to him as another began to clean the glass. He shook his head slowly, I will never be alright like this. He slowly trembled in his spot at the mere thought of their return. Do I have any options left, am I really that helpless?

The main door to the kitchen swung open with vigour, and in the door frame stood the two owners. Both Carolina and David hastened their approach towards the scene as they held him still till his trembling bid him adieu. The others could only stare in silence as Simmons left the scene with the help of the two owners. With the brisk pace, Carolina opened the porch doors, facing outwards towards the glimmering ocean. David gently led the way in front of Simmons and guided him out to the empty table. As the two settled in, David looked out to several kids playing on the beach with a small smile creeping up on him as he observed their antics. "Simmons, what happened in there, why did you suddenly drop the glass?"

"Why you ask...," Simmons murmured as he felt an uncomfortable itch in his legs. "I...I saw them again."

David looked at his friend in silence, so strong that only the noise of the wind remained in their ears. The nerves were unbecoming of the two as the silence dragged on beyond their comfort zones. David finally spoke up, "Have you been taking your medication?"

"Yeah."

"Are you eating properly?" asked David as he studied Simmons from head to toe. "You look a little weak."

Simmons felt his neck muscle move almost instinctively as he shook his head at the question. "I just don't have much of an appetite nowadays."

David leaned back into his chair with a worried sigh, but before he could continue his train of thought, the hard sounds of heels hitting against the wooden floor alerted them to Carolina's presence. She gently rested a tray of coffee cups, freshly brewed with her cinnamon magic touch to it. David took one and rested it in front of Simmons. He took her hand in his and wore a smile as wide as his lips would allow. "Thanks, hon."

"What's this I heard about you not eating properly?" asked Carolina as she sipped on the sweet brew. David waited for an answer, but the silence was less than convincing for the two of them. He cleared his throat after taking a sip and said, "Simmons, you are a smart guy. You should already know the importance of eating. Maybe think about visiting the clinic again for something that could help you with this."

Simmons felt his heart drop a few beats as his upper lip danced to a sudden twitch. His mind weighed it's options, yet felt bogged down by the irate suggestions. But this is all that they can do to help in their own way I suppose. He released the tightened breath in silence as the tension cleared and the breeze around him felt gentle once more. The coffee entered with an explosion of sweetness as it touched his tongue, yet the ever so familiar sourness followed fast, quickly pushing aside the cinnamon taste. Carolina looked at Simmons' rather relaxed expression to the golden horizon, like a lamp burning brightly, yet just on the cusp of going dark. "I have always liked this view."

"Yeah," David agreed as he gently rubbed her hand in his. "It's very peaceful."

A quick bursts of loud beeping originated from Carolina's wrist watch. She looked down to observe the time. Quickly she picked up her cup and finished her drink. "I have to get going."

"The kids?" asked David. She promptly nodded her head as she bent down to kiss him on the cheek. She stood back up with the squeeze of his hand and said, "Don't forget that it's date night tonight."

Simmons felt the heat in his cheeks rise at the scene. I still haven't outgrown this awkwardness ever since I was a kid. How stubborn can I actually be? He pondered having caught the whole exchange from the side of his eyes. They definitely look good together though, a power couple. I wonder what it would be like to have a significant other in my life, how it would affect me, their thinking, their way of living. Would someone as broken as me even be worth it?

"Drive safe," advised David as she waved one last time. Into the more nuanced shadows of the lodge inside. Barely coated by the flaring sun as it was nearly hidden behind the horizon. David took the last sip of his coffee before he was met by the empty surface much to his annoyance. "By the way, how is the work coming along on the latest bugs we found on the company website?"

"Heh, I thought you might ask about that," Simmons admitted as he played with the rim of the cup. "Honestly, I haven't made too much progress. Every time I sit down to try and code, I always become...distracted."

David looked out to the beach, but the wind could not cover up the noise of his slow sigh, filled with disappointment. He has been working on this for two months now, that's too long. David looked back to his friend and felt himself bite his lower lip. But I have to remember that not all is well in paradise with him. He stood up to stretch his back. The hair raising cracks from his muscles were carried with the wind to all nearby. David's eyes widened as he quickly arched forward against the table. "Uh oh, that didn't sound good. I'm really feeling my age now."

David stretched his shoulders back and forth, and his spin from one side to the other. He took in the deep, refreshing breath of the wind and slowly let it out. With his lungs rejuvenated, he walked towards the beach. PTSD, crazy stuff, he thought recalling his time as Recovery One. No amount of talks with the Counsellor, 'Aiden Price', had helped, no one could have understood the torment his mind put him through as his family had fallen apart, and all that the Freelancer project did for him was to treat him like just another number on the balance sheet. "Simmons, you know, this might sound pretentious of me to say since unlike Carolina and me right now, its you who is suffering. But believe me when I say this, we know that what you are experiencing is not easy, in fact it might actually be worse than what I went through."

He stopped a moment to consider his words, as his mind played around with different sentences. "PTSD is no fun. But I won't let you wallow in self-pity all the the time. This will sound cruel to say, but you need to remain functioning in your everyday life, otherwise more than just one aspect may suffer and feel the consequences for your failure to do so."

"Are you implying something?" Simmons asked as he felt himself pushed back by David's words against the chair, almost squeezing himself into a ball. David held up his hands and said, "No, I'm just giving you something to think about."

David took their cups inside as he looked back one last time prior to entering the kitchen. I wonder if I screwed up there in my choice of words. Was I too harsh with him? He pondered as he entered the kitchen and put down the cups for washing. He came back out to see his friend still in the chair, sitting like a rock statue with a gaze far off into the distance. "Simmons, take the rest of the day off."

"What?" Simmons suddenly jolted out of his gaze and raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, just take if off and relax," David offered with a smile. Simmons quickly gathered his belongings from the employees room and exited towards the parking lot. Maybe I will visit the clinic and see if there is some solution for my hunger deficiency, thought Simmons pulling out of the parking lot. He quickly reached the clinic as he resided just ten short minutes down the road from the lodge. He rested the helmet on the bike's seat and tied it around the frame. He looked towards the entrance with a rather annoyed expression, and a sigh. "This may as well be my second home now."

Inside the sparkling clean building, he stood by the reception desk. His hand rested atop the smooth wooden counter. He felt no imbalances upon the surface, it was clean down to the very last possible speck of dust. He looked at the nurse busy on the hospital phone. She beamed him a courteous smile as she raised a gesture of five fingers. Simmons gently nodded with a slow turn towards the waiting area. Hmm, should I come back another day? He pondered just as another patient sat down to eagerly await their turn. He heard the phone piece rest against the docking station and quickly shifted his attention back to the neatly dressed receptionist. She fixed her hat, gently around her hair buns and asked, "What can I do for you today, sir?"

Simmons retrieved his veteran card and slid it in her general direction. "I need to see a doctor to help prescribe some medication for hunger issues."

"Of course," she said whilst working on her computer. She rested a number card alongside his veteran card and instructed, "Please take a seat. When your number is called, you can go in."

"Thanks," he quickly found himself a rather scenic spot that allowed him great visibility into the waiting area, the reception and a part of the white marble tiled hallway leading to the check-up rooms. A very tactical choice, as Sarge would have said. Simmons tucked his card away and sat with his legs crossed over one another. Simmons' eyes scanned from his right to his left. Just to the seat on his left, sat an older man. He too fashioned a beard, yet much larger and greyer than anything Simmons could ever imagine on himself. His hair was shaggier and his cloths baggy even in this hot summer. Strange, he thought as he studied the man's hands and saw the trimmed nails. He takes care of himself, so what's with the clothes and the hair?

Some time passed and the silence of the waiting room continued to drown the noises of the reception desk. The man to his left cleared his throat with a loud gruff, and spoke in a hoarse voice, "What platoon were you in?"

The ex-simulation trooper looked at the stranger with a raised eyebrow. He stared at the man with both silence and confusion painted like an oil painting. "What?"

"I know you were in the military, son."

"And how would you know that?" asked Simmons. The older man pointed towards the reception area and said, "I noticed the way you walked in. That was not the walk of a normal person. You have a slight limp."

"So what if i do?"

"A lot of people from the military do," the old man clarified as he pointed down to his own knees. "It's pretty common, since we had to jump down onto the ground so often, as we braced for impact. You must have seen some crazy stuff in battle out there. So, what unit are you from?"

Simmons rested his fingers onto his chin as he stared at his knees. "You could tell just from that?"

"You have a familiar look on your face, same as mine," the old man elaborated as he motioned around his eyes. "Those eyes say that you go through a lot of the same things as I do."

"So then, you come here often?"

The older man nodded his head as he held out an empty bottle of prescribed medication. "As much as it sucks, my body has become reliant on this medication now and the doctors to help me to keep on functioning in this cruel world."

"Why do you think the world is cruel?" inquired Simmons, only to earn a scornful smirk from the older man. He motioned around as well as took out his veteran card. "We spend all that time out there, fighting the wars so people back here can feel safe. But when we come back, how much can you say with confidence is being done for us that we could consider to be reasonable?"

Silence was the answer that greeted the older man. He in turn continued to speak. "What have they done for the blood and limbs the soldiers have given?!"

The man weathered from war and this world pointed downward towards his legs to which Simmons noticed a slight shine from his right foot. A metal casing was connected between the right calf and the foot of the old man. Below the metal casing was one long thin metal rod, connected on a swivel to a rubber coated foot like object. Simmons looked at the engraving on the rod as his lips slowly quivered with the realization. War, he pondered as a distant bang exploded in his ears. Fucking war, he thought squeezing shut his eyes. He heard the explosions near as his hands tightly gripped his knees. His panic served as further proof of the man's claims. Were he given the treatment he needed, would he be suffering as such right now? Wondered the man, I think not. He gently rested a hand on his conversationalist's shoulder and said, "Take a deep breath."

Simmons slowly nodded his head as he caught himself in proper form again. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Don't be, I chose to go out there and fight," said the man as he leaned back into his chair, and snuggled back into the warmer regions of the chair leather. "I just wish that people would recognize veterans more and get them the aid they need upon their return."

"You kept on asking about my unit," said Simmons as he held out his dog tags. "I was never part of any proper UNSC outfit. I was with the Red army from the simulation troopers."

"A Sim trooper, where were you stationed?"

"Blood Gulch."

The older man felt his chest drop along with his heart. He looked around to see the world still move as it always had been, yet his mind felt a strange disturbance in the flow of time, a dilation effect. He felt his eyelids stretch as wide as they could, and his mouth fell open with great weight. "You guys...you guys are quite famous."

"Yeah, I know," Simmons admitted as he proceeded to avert his gaze. "I have gotten that quite a bit unfortunately."

"Unfortunately? Why unfortunately?"

"I just want to leave that chapter of my life behind," the ex-Red soldier admitted. "I just want to live my life as a normal person."

The older man nodded in a sense of understanding as he shifted his weight closer to Simmons' and said, "If you ever feel like it, there is a veteran's club you can come out to. We meet every second week of the month on Tuesdays, down at the bar "Katrina Drinks" on eighteenth avenue, downtown."

"We will now see patient number 195!"

Simmons looked in the direction of the feminine, yet strong voice calling out to him. He nodded in the direction of the old man and proceeded to follow the nurse towards the checkup room. He sat down atop the well kept bed, of which the sheets were no doubt recently changed from the last checkup. Simmons gazed up at the paintings in the room, to someone they would evoke a sense of wonder no doubt, but for him they left a sense of confusion for they made no sense to him. He looked towards the door with his brows furrowed and thought, I forgot to get that guy's name and number. He recalled the man's some well kept, and some worn out features, his eyes seemed the most tired, as if they have seen more than they would have like too. Kind of like me I suppose, like me. He felt his back slump back against the white wall the bed was by and released a deep, tension filled breath. I wonder if he is someone similar enough to me that I can talk with, and finally find a place that I can belong in on this planet, in this universe now that I have left Blood Gulch. His eyes shift to the door as a knock echoes through the wooden barrier. His back quickly straightened as the door slowly swung open and a female nurse entered.

A rather slim women of a pretty blond hair tied back into a pony tail studied the information pad in front of her. Her short heeled shoes stopped midway. Her dark brown eyes looked up with a curiosity that was reflected by the light shining off her eyes from the room lights above. "You're Dick Simmons, aren't you?"

Simmons looked from the admittedly pretty woman to the information pad and wondered, didn't she just get that from the information in there, why act so surprised then? He nodded his head and slowly tilted it in confusion as she hurried her pace over to him. He slowly scooted back into the bed as he felt his heart pressure rise at the sudden shift in her demeanour. How many people have I met today that have had something to do with me directly? It's crazy. She stood mere inches away from him and rested the pad down to the table beside the bed. "You grew up in the States here, in Philadelphia to be more precise. Right?"

Huh, okay that shouldn't be in that pad unless I made it explicitly known on the forms they had asked to fill out before on my first visit ever. This is getting weirder by the second, he pondered as he slowly nodded his head only to quickly regret that. Why did you do that? You could have just stayed quiet, you wouldn't be lying that way either. "Um, is this part of the medical questionnaire?"

"No, I used to live there myself. It was right in the house next to yours in fact," the nurse admitted as she picked the pad back up. However, her lips now arched upward into a more inviting smile. "Nice place as I remember it."

"Okay...," he mumbled, slowly having shifted to his left and away from the woman. The nurse quickly noticed with an amused grin and noted, "You don't believe me, do you?"

"Kind of hard too, miss."

Her thin eyebrows lifted upwards, and her eyes followed their direction to the ceiling as she felt a light go off in her head. "We both went to Philadelphia High. Heh, I can still remember you fumbling and stuttering when you had tried to ask me out to the school dance in our final year."

Philadelphia High, final year school dance, my date..., he rested his chin against his hand and not long before the realization dawned on him. That young girl from before, the one who used to be my best friend. The nurse reached out with a hand as she understood that he realized something. "Hi, my name is Allie Johnson."

Allie, yes, that's it, he studied her from head to toe and a slow smile tugged at his lips. You have grown to be quite successful it seems like. To think that I would be sitting here as the broken for you to mend, your own childhood friend. "Yes, I remember now. How have you been?"

"About as well as I can be," she pointed down to her notepad and said, "Considering my line of work and all."

"Yeah, and a lot of other changes continuing to happen right now with the world," he added. "Things are tough for everyone nowadays it seems."

"That it is," she hummed to herself as she went down the additional information on the pad. "What's the exact reason for your visit today?"

"I'm having issues with my appetite."

"Ah, for that the doctor can prescribe you something fast. I will let the next available doctor know and they can write you your prescription. Other than that, are you feeling okay?"

"I...suppose."

"Okay," her once sweet voice lowered with a cautious guard around it. She looked at him with her carefully analytical gaze, studying him from head to toe. Nothing seems out of the ordinary at first glance. But best to do a simple check up maybe. "Are you alright with me running a few basic tests here with you?"

Simmons followed her left arm as it reached for a blood pressure reader. "I don't think that's necessary."

"Alright," she quickly picked up the information pad again and sent the information to their information sharing portal. "The next available doctor that gets this information will be able to write up the prescription. You can pick it up from the front desk."

"Thanks," he replied as she reached for the door handle. Before the door swung open however, she turned back to ask him, "Do you want to go for a coffee or something to catch up some time?"

What's this out of the blue? Wondered Simmons as he looked at her curvy form, with her exposed neck and the ever so alluring pale skin. I still haven't completely forgotten about her, I need to keep myself in control before I become a stuttering moron again in front of her. But should I even go with her? I mean I have never been good with women to begin with...ah what the hell? It's not like I'm doing much with my time anyways, so why hesitate now? Just do it! He nodded her way, only for her to reach out with a card she quickly scribbled on. She motioned for him to flip it over and said, "There is my number, feel free to text me any time after five today. Let's make some plans. It was great to see you again, Simmons. I'm glad we could meet."

As the door closed, he quickly slumped back against the wall with his chest relaxing into a gentle breathing. He had felt his chest to be tightened this whole time. This day went from being a nightmare trip to something I don't even know what to call anymore. He rested the card atop his lap and safely kept under his palm. His other hand reached to his chest as his heart loudly spoke to him through his skin, and continued to pound him with multiple questions rather than answers. My feelings for you still linger from the time of the dance. I wonder, just how much did you really mean to me back then that I would actually do something like ask a girl out to a dance. He put the card into his pocket and left the room. As he waited to pick up his prescription, he noticed that the ex-military man was no longer in the waiting area. He looked towards his pocket and smirked to himself. "Yeah, it's not like I have anything better to do. It can't hurt."

A/N: This chapter took much longer to finish. Primarily because I was on vacation and being a lazy bum :P. But now I'm back. Upload schedule will still be erratic. But in other news, I got a beta-reader now to try and improve the end product's quality for the readers!

The chapters currently posted will begin to undergo a revision once the beta-reader is caught up to date on all my stories so that they have a better idea about my version of the characters and the RvB world.

What did you think about this chapter?

Respectful feedback is always welcomed!

Catch you all in the next chapter.

~ Monty