A/N: I am a necromancer and this story is a poor unsuspecting corpse.

chapter twelve;
whiskey blues

I was on the couch in the living room, idly flipping channels on the TV, with a mug of hazelnut coffee that I made myself after struggling to figure out how the Keurig worked (despite the little appliances being nearly idiot-proof). It was Saturday morning, and everyone else in the house appeared to still be sleeping. I tried to sleep in, but I couldn't. Too much on my mind. I settled on watching some cartoons.

About twenty minutes in, I heard someone padding down the stairs. "Good morning," I called out to them. The footsteps suddenly stopped. With furrowed brows, I turned towards the foyer. "Hello?" I called out again. Nothing. I figured I must've been hearing things, so I focused my attention back to the talking sea sponge. Finally, a loud sigh was exhaled and the footsteps resumed.

"It's me," Roxas responded. "I didn't realize you were awake."

"Yeah. Trust me, I wouldn't be if I could help it." I sipped my coffee and patted the spot next to me. "Hey, come sit and watch with me. You look like you've never watched a cartoon in your life. Let's pop that cherry."

"I've watched cartoons before," he deadpanned. "And I've got something to do. Maybe later. Sorry."

"It's 7a.m. on a Saturday, what do you have to do?" I turned back towards the foyer to see Roxas standing at the bottom of the stairs. He was well-dressed, not to say he wasn't usually, but he looked especially nice in his fitted slacks and sport coat. "Oh," I said with raised eyebrows, "You got a hot date or somethin'?"

"N-no… I just… It's college stuff…" He stumbled over his words, not even attempting to hide his obvious guilt.

I got off the couch, set my mug aside on the coffee table, and walked towards him. "Shit, Roxas, I wasn't serious. But I just learned you're a terrible liar."

"It's not like that, okay? I'm just going over to the Beaumont's coffee shop to see Xion."

"Oh."

"We've been talking. I owed her an apology. She's not a bad person, and I do care about her. We haven't actually talked face to face in a while, so I offered to swing by the café so we could chat and clear the air."

"And you have to dress like you're in a Men's Wearhouse catalog to make nice with your ex?"

"My parents really liked her. We looked nice together." He shrugged as if was no big deal. "I have to keep up appearances, Axel. I know you don't understand—"

"Roxas, you're gay. I know you don't want to be, but you are. You are very gay. And if I recall, I told Xion you were gay during that bullshit you pulled not too long ago."

Roxas looked down at his shiny loafers. "You didn't tell her I was gay, you told her I was a 'fucking faggot'. And I told her you were just angrily name-calling and that there was no validity to your claim."

I stared at Roxas hard. "So, what, she's your girlfriend again? After you both cheated on each other?" I lowered my voice real low. "After everything between us?"

"Axel…"

"This isn't a game, Roxas. You don't just get to use people. Not Xion, not me." I stomped back over to the living room and angrily resumed my position on the couch with my arms tightly crossed and my eyes glaring.

Roxas came after me and stood in front of the TV to block it. "I like you a lot, Axel. You know this. But a relationship between us isn't feasible. You know this, too. Xion is a girl, a beautiful girl from a nice family, who's intelligent and kind."

"And I'm none of those things. Got it."

"That's not where I was going with that thought, but if you're going to be petulant then I'll leave you to it."

"I feel like it's one step forward and two steps back with you."

"I'm graduating and going off to college soon, I need to think more about my future. I can't just give-in to childish whims and wants. I need to be—"

"You need to be perfect, I know, I know. Otherwise you'll disappoint your stupid dead mom or whatever." As soon as those words left my mouth, I regretted them. Roxas gave me a look of exasperation. "Wait, I'm sorry…"

But it was too late. Roxas quickly stormed off and out the front door, slamming it behind him with enough force to shake the light fixtures. I sighed and buried my face in my palms. I was so frustrated and everything was starting to compound, between Roxas, my mom, my rapist dad, my nonexistent future; I was reaching my boiling point.

"You're up," Anastasia noted as she entered the kitchen. I was standing at the sink looking idly out the window at the glittering turquoise water of the swimming pool, fixated. I didn't know how long I had been standing there. "You're usually asleep until noon on weekends. Are you okay?" She made her way over and stood next me, placing her soft hand over mine that was gripping at the edge of the counter.

"Yeah," I muttered, recoiling my hand. "Just… I don't know. It's nothing."

"Were you just about to open up to me, Axel?" She asked light-heartedly. "You can, you know."

We hadn't really talked since our conversation at the hospital, and I really didn't know how to act around her anymore. Were things different? Better? Worse? "I was just going to whine about the sun," I lied. "It comes up right into my window."

"Would you like some new curtains put in? That room was never used prior to you being here, so it wasn't set up with functionality in mind. I'd be happy to take you to a home-décor store and we can pick out some shades and curtains together. You can even pick out some new bed linens if you're sick of the pink."

"I don't want to get too settled in," I responded. "My community service is almost over."

"Oh," she said, sounding slightly dejected. "Are you going to leave?"

"I'm twenty-five, I need to get my life together. Not live with my mom. I don't want to go backwards."

"I understand the sentiment. But, you don't have to leave. You can live here while working towards your education or while getting a job and saving up money. You can get your license and James and I can help you get your own car. You'll be stable here, you'll be safe."

"Look, I get it, okay? You're trying to make up for my shitty childhood, I know. But you don't have to do this. I'm okay. I can go back to living with my friend Ansem, and I can get a minimum wage McJob somewhere. Consider your sins forgiven, alright? I can take care of myself. I'll stay out of trouble. You don't even have to give me any money."

"Axel…"

"Good morning, mom! Good morning, Axel!" Kairi flounced into the kitchen, her little ponytail bobbing up and down with her. She sensed the atmosphere and promptly halted. "Oh, am I interrupting? Sorry. I'm just going to grab some water."

"You're not interrupting," I told her, walking towards the fridge to fetch her a bottle of whatever bullshit Fiji import water the Henleys stocked.

"Did you sleep well, darling?" Anastasia asked her to break the tension.

She grabbed the bottle from me and took a seat at the breakfast table. "Thank you. I slept fine." She took a sip, still slightly apprehensive about intruding on our conversation. "Where's Roxas? I know he doesn't have practice anymore, and he never sleeps in."

"He left," I told her, trying to hide my annoyance. "A couple hours ago."

"He needs to start spending more time with us before he leaves for Pennsylvania," Kairi pouted.

"I agree," Ana said. "We only have a couple more months with him. Maybe we can do something as a family one of these days. The weather is warming, maybe we can go to the lake house one of these weekends."

"The lake house?" Of course they had a fucking lake house.

"Yes, we have a house by the lake a few hours north of here. We rent it out to vacationers, but they usually don't come up until the summer. So, it's empty until then. We usually go up for a weekend or two before the busy season."

"You'd love it, Axel!" Kairi insisted. "It's like our own personal beach."

"I've never been to a beach," I admitted. "I don't know how to swim."

"Truly?" Anastasia asked.

She wasn't trying to make me feel bad about it, but with my already sour mood, it sounded condescending. "Yeah, sorry, I didn't exactly grow up with a swimming pool in my backyard, and I've never taken a vacation anywhere."

"It's alright, Axel, I'll show you how to swim," Kairi innocently beamed. "Or you can just stay where it's shallow. Actually, the whole lake might be shallow to you, since you're a giant and all."

"If you don't want to go, we don't have to," Anastasia added. "It was just a suggestion."

The three hour car ride hadn't been too awkward, on account to the fact that Roxas had taken his own car which left me sitting in the passenger seat of Mr. Henley's Mercedes SUV with everyone else. Anastasia had offered to sit in the back with Kairi since her legs, while also long, were still several inches shorter than mine. We left the house at the ass crack of dawn, so they had immediately fallen back asleep. I tried to pass the time by playing on my phone, but I got carsick and instead opted to talk with Mr. Henley.

"So, diagnose anything fun lately? Schizophrenia? Sex addiction?"

"Most of my patients are bipolar, depressed, or dealing with drug addiction or eating disorders," he said, turning down the radio which had been quietly playing dad rock. "Sex addiction is usually a symptom, not a main issue to be treated. But I actually haven't seen any new patients lately, I'm booked up until the end of summer. Who knows what the future holds."

"Wow, you must be good."

Mr. Henley smiled, the skin around his eyes bunching up. "I have always subscribed to the theory that having a good repertoire with your patients is the best way to help them. So, I will see my patients for as long as they want."

"As long as they pay," I added, not meaning to come off as snarky as I did.

"Well, I didn't do nine years of college to run a charity," he snarked back.

"I haven't gotten a bill in the mail for our session a couple months ago, do you have my new address?"

Mr. Henley let out a hearty laugh. "I like you, Axel. You're a good kid."

"I try," I said, perplexed as to what I did to make him like me since our interactions have mostly been me belittling his career and be a sarcastic twat. "All joking aside, doc, I think psychiatry is cool in theory. It's just not for me."

"No judgments here."

We fell back into a silence as he focused on the mostly empty highway. I watched trees blur past. "Can I ask you something personal? Feel free to tell me to fuck off if I'm over-stepping."

"Go for it, Axel."

"Do you resent Roxas for the death of his mom?"

Mr. Henley kept his eyes forward and gently drummed on steering wheel with his fingertips. "Not at all. I love Roxas immensely and don't blame him for her death. I've never blamed him. At first I blamed myself, then the hospital for not doing enough to save her, but then I came to the conclusion that it's no one's fault. She wanted to be a mom. Even towards the end, when she knew she was dying, she told me she didn't regret it one bit. Roxas was everything she wanted. Having Roxas is what helped me through a lot of grief, because she didn't die for nothing. I had a constant reminder of her love in the shape of a baby boy. And Roxas is growing up to be a great person, the kind of person his mother would be so proud of."

"Have you ever told Roxas that?"

He scratched at his chin. "No, I suppose I haven't."

"You should," I said, "I mean, I'm no expert on the subject matter, but I know I'd feel good knowing my mom was proud of me."

"Your mother is proud of you, Axel."

I faked aloofness, but something bubbled in the pit of my chest. I turned towards the window and smiled.

"Well? What do you think?" Kairi asked, hardly containing her excitement as she bounced up and down on the heels of her feet. "Do you love it?"

As I was grabbing bags from the trunk, I looked up at the beautiful dark wood that made up the lake house's exterior. It wasn't as big as I was expecting, but it looked rustic and cozy. "It's nice," I said, hoisting my duffle bag over my shoulder so I could grab the case of water they insisted we bring so we didn't have to drink the tap.

"Wait until you see the inside, there's a fireplace!"

"There's a fireplace at home."

"Yeah, but we don't use that one," she said, the 'duh' implied. "We can use this one though and it's really nice for at night when it gets a little chilly. We can all sit around and play games and stuff in the warmth of the fire."

Anastasia stepped out from the other side of the car with her hands full of paper bags from the grocery store we stopped at in town. "Is Roxas not here yet? He should've beaten us here."

"He mentioned a stop he had to make before coming up here, so maybe that put him behind us," Mr. Henley piped up. "I'll give him a call."

Roxas was still mad at me and hadn't broken his pact of silence. I tried apologizing for what I said, but he just ignored me. In a way, I felt like it was sort of warranted. If someone had said something like that to me, I probably would've ripped their spine out through their mouth.

Mr. Henley unlocked the front door and beckoned us inside. As the outside suggested, the inside was all the same dark wood. It had vaulted ceilings and a lot of big windows. There was a brick fireplace, a wood-framed sofa, a large patterned wool rug, and two overstuffed chairs, one of which had a knitted afghan thrown over it. No TV. Everything was open. The kitchen, living, and dining area were basically in one large room. At the far end of the house were two uncovered large glass sliding doors that opened up to a patio that overlooked the lake.

"You can drop the case of water on the floor over here," Anastasia said, placing the groceries on the stone-topped counters. The kitchen was decked out in the newest appliances, which looked out of place with the bucolic feel of everything else. "I forgot there was a water purifier on the fridge. We had that put in last year, I think."

I nodded dumbly, setting the water down. Most people didn't even have one mediocre house, let alone two beautiful ones.

"You can go look around. There's only two bedrooms and one bathroom, they're down the hall. Oh, and there's a basement which has been converted into a rumpus room. There's a pool table, a home theatre, and a wet bar down there. The basement really deviates from the motif, but it's good to have that stuff, especially if renters bring kids, you know? It's Roxas and Kairi's favorite room."

"So, what're the sleeping arrangements if there's only two rooms?"

"I figured, me and James in one bedroom, Kairi in the other, and then you and Roxas in the basement. There's two couches, one of which is a pull-out. And it's pretty comfortable too. That's where Roxas usually sleeps when we visit. It has a memory foam mattress."

"Roxas is here," Mr. Henley announced from the doorway, "with guests."

Kairi, who was putting her stuff away in her designated bedroom, quickly scrambled out. "Who?"

"Hello, Henley family!" A familiar voice called out. "And Axel!"

From beside Mr. Henley emerged an iconic head of disheveled brown hair.

"Sora!" Kairi exclaimed. "How's it going?"

"Great now that I get to spend the weekend with you fine people!" He walked into the house, a small roller suitcase trailing behind him.

"Hello, Sora," Anastasia greeted, taking a break from unpacking and putting away groceries to give him a quick hug. "I didn't know you were coming up with Roxas."

"Oh, yeah, he said it was totally fine if me and Xion came up."

"Xion's here too?" Kairi's excitement doubled. "This weekend is going to be so fun!"

I was frozen in place, trying to process everything. I hadn't seen Xion since the coffee shop incident, and the last time Sora was involved, I nearly splattered my brains on the bathroom tile.

"Well, I guess we'll have to rethink sleeping arrangements," Anastasia concluded.

"I already have it figured out, mom," Roxas said as he entered the doorway with Xion close behind him, who gave a little wave. "You and dad in a room, Kairi and Xion in a room, and then me and Sora will share the pull-out in the basement."

"You're forgetting someone," I spat, not bothering to hide my annoyance.

"Oh, whoops, I guess you can put a blanket on a floor somewhere, Axel." The way he said it made my blood boil. Like it was a genuine mistake and not him still being pissy over what I said last week. I held my tongue, everyone was around.

"Axel can sleep in the basement with us," Sora said. "The more the merrier! He can sleep on the other couch." Roxas glared at him, but he was unfazed.

"I didn't know you were bringing more people or I would've gotten more food and drinks."

"It's fine, mom. I'll run back out to the grocery store," Roxas huffed.

"Hi Xion, by the way." Anastasia pushed her slight displeasure aside. "I haven't seen you since we had dinner with your parents."

"I've been busy," she lied, "with school and work."

I leaned against the deck railing, inhaling the fresh air and watching the sun bounce fractures of light off the lake's still surface. Awkwardness aside, it wasn't so bad here. Roxas, Xion, and Sora went into the basement and never re-emerged, and Ana and James bustled around getting everything settled and put away. Kairi was behind me in a lounge chair, enjoying the warmth and flipping through some lame teen magazine. I pulled a slightly disfigured Marlboro from the smashed carton I had forgotten I put in my back pocket and thus squashed with my bony ass at some point. I patted my jeans again, realizing I didn't have a lighter.

"Smoking is the leading cause of cancer," Kairi told me, not even looking up from her magazine.

"Yeah, I know. It says so on the box."

"Why do you smoke, then?"

I turned to her and bunched up my shoulders. "Started when I was young because I wanted to seem cool and grown up. I was probably around your age. And now it's just a gross habit and I don't care enough to try to quit. It's better than crack, I suppose."

"So quit now," she said simply, pushing her bug-eyed sunglasses up into her hair. "I don't want you to die yet. I want to enjoy having a brother who isn't an uptight dork."

I let out a small laugh, recognizing that an 'uptight dork' is something I've probably called Roxas in the past that she picked up on and incorporated into her own list of Roxas insults. "Fine, fine, you've convinced me." I flicked the unused cigarette over the railing.

"Hey, littering isn't much better. Go get it."

"Geez, you're bossy today, Kai. I'll go get it in a bit. Let me enjoy this brief moment of tranquility." I turned back towards the lake. A hawk flew overhead.

We fell back into a silence as Kairi presumably went back to her magazine. A breeze rolled through that elicited a gentle harmony of rustling trees. I stifled a yawn and let my whole weight slump against the railing, my eyelids beginning to droop. I probably could've fallen asleep like that if the sound of Sora yelling hadn't snapped me awake.

"Come on, slowpokes!"

I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles and watched over the railing as Sora ran out with his swim trunks on and a colorful towel draped around his neck. He turned and waved to me exuberantly.

"Hey Axel! Want to join us in the lake?"

"He can't swim," Kairi said before I could answer.

"Come on, Axel, we'll teach you. That is if Roxas and Xion take a break from sucking face and come swim with me like they said they would." Sora rolled his eyes. I felt my stomach knot up.

"Don't be a liar," Roxas called out to him. He walked out in a tank top, aviators, and his square-cut swim shorts I've seen him wear out by pool many times before. Xion followed, wearing a big sun hat and a cute high neck bikini that accentuated her modest figure. They paid me no mind as they made their way to the shoreline. Sora threw an arm around Roxas's neck and laughed.

Kairi sighed.

"Kairi, did you want to go in the lake?" I turned and asked her, because I knew she wasn't the type to ask for an invite if they didn't give her one in the first place.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to be the lame little sister who tags along."

"Is that what Roxas said?"

"Not recently, no, but he has made comments before. He always tells me to get my own friends."

"Fuck that, go get your swimsuit on."

"Really, Axel, I'm fi—"

"C'mon, I'll go in too."

Kairi gave a huge smile, her braces catching the sunlight. "Okay, let's go."

"So, I realized I have a problem," I declared, plopping down in the wooden dining chair across from where Anastasia was sitting and click-clacking away on a keyboard.

She looked up at me from her laptop with raised eyebrows. "Oh? What is it, Axel?"

"I don't have trunks."

"Well, we can go into town and pick a pair up for you tomorrow. You can ask James to borrow his for now. They might be a little big, but they should have a drawstring."

"And where can I find dear old Doc?"

"I sent him down to the basement to make drinks not too long ago. Why don't you go down there and bring your stuff?" She motioned to my duffle bag that I had left on the couch on account to the fact I didn't want to go down in the basement with Roxas, Sora, and Xion. "Don't worry about Sora and Xion, you don't have to be shy around them," she added, misinterpreting my annoyance and jealousy as bashfulness.

"Okay," I said, getting up from the chair, "thanks." I grabbed my bag from the couch and made my way to the basement stairs by the hallway.

The basement looked like the complete antithesis to the aesthetic of the rest of the house. The dark wood aspect was the same, but the rustic feel was completely lost on account to the large home theatre system, power recliners with cup holders, fancy modern light fixtures, black leather couches, a pool table, an LED illuminated wet bar, mounted speaker system, and a touch-panel thermostat and lighting control. Mr. Henley was right where Anastasia had said he'd be, stirring up a drink in a steel martini shaker with his back to me.

"Making something good?" I called out to get his attention, lazily tossing my bag to the side.

He turned around with a warm welcoming smile. "Hello, Axel. I'm just making your mom a little something. She doesn't drink hard liquor, so I'm making her a wine cocktail sort of thing. I doubt you'd be interested. Do you drink?"

"I do, but not wine."

"I only drink wine when I have to," he laughed, pouring the drink from the shaker into frosted glass he pulled from what looked like a cabinet but was actually a hidden mini-fridge built into the bar. "The good stuff in this cabinet here," he motioned to the cabinets above the wet bar. "Help yourself. Mixers are in this cabinet here, and refrigerated stuff is in the fridge, of course. Non-chilled glasses are under the sink. I can whip something up for you if you'd like."

"You trust Roxas and Sora with all this alcohol down here?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Most kids their age would go nuts on a completely unlocked and unsupervised stock of alcohol, but then I remembered that Roxas and Sora were of a completely different subset of human beings. I dropped it. "I'll be honest, I'm no cocktail connoisseur. I just drink what's cheap or offered to me. The only thing I know about alcohol is that it's really good at making problems go away temporarily."

"How do you feel about whiskey?"

"I blacked out after drinking a shit ton of Fireball after crashing homecoming freshmen year," I offered unhelpfully. "When I came to, I was laying in the student parking lot covered in vomit and only some of it was my own."

Mr. Henley scrunched up his nose in repugnance, whether it was the vomit or cheap cinnamon whiskey he found the most disgust in, I have no clue. "Here, let's try some of this." He opened the above cabinet and pulled down a fancy bottle with ornate gold lettering. "Japanese whiskey," he explained, "Yamazaki 18. It's very smooth, nice blend of fruit and spices, not too harsh on the palate, a nice dry finish."

"Sounds fancy," I said dumbly, because I didn't know jack shit about whiskey and he might as well had been speaking another language.

He got two rocks glasses down and poured us both a moderate amount. "Some people take their whiskey on the rocks, but Yamazaki is smooth enough that it isn't necessary. Personal preference, really." He handed me a glass. "Cheers," he said.

"Cheers," I echoed, gently tapping my glass against his before tilting my head back and upending the entire contents into my mouth, gulping it down like I was trying to forget the past couple months of my life.

Mr. Henley choked back a laugh, his drink untouched. "It's not a shot, Axel," he told me, clearly amused by my ignorance without being too condescending. "That was a lot of whiskey."

"Sorry," I said, not sure what else to say.

"No need to apologize." He took a sip from his glass. "Did you get a good taste, at least?"

I sucked on my tongue and smacked my lips a few times. It tasted like whiskey, nothing special. The harsh taste lingered in my mouth. "It's really good," I lied.

This time Mr. Henley didn't hold back his laughter. He clapped his free hand onto my shoulder. "It's okay, Axel. It took me years to develop a taste for whiskey. There's beer in the fridge if you'd like."

I set the whiskey glass in the sink. "Maybe later, I don't want to get sloppy drunk in front of you guys. Not yet."

Mr. Henley set his glass down and picked up the drink he had made for Anastasia. "I should go bring this to your mother. Thanks for humoring me, Axel. I'll have to help you refine your palate."

It was my second bonding moment of the day with Mr. Henley, and I was growing to like him quite a bit. He might've been a crackpot psychiatrist with a bipolar son and had a questionable doctor-patient relationship with my mom, but he wasn't a bad guy. In a weird way, I felt like he might sort-of kind-of understand me.

"Oh," I exclaimed, suddenly remembering Kairi was probably waiting on me and that I did in fact go down into the basement with a task at hand that didn't involve chugging expensive whiskey. "I came down here to ask if I could borrow your trunks to go swimming in the lake with Kairi. I don't own a pair."

"Sure, come on, I'll grab them for you."

"Wow, you're completely covered in tattoos," Kairi observed, eyeing all the different colored patches of ink adorning my exposed torso as I stepped out the sliding door. "I mean, I knew you had a lot, but whoa. I like them."

I looked down at myself, arms out, Mr. Henley's hibiscus-patterned swim trunks hanging loosely around my waist. I wish I could say each tattoo meant something deep and personal, but most of them were done by an old acquaintance of mine with a tattoo gun in his bedroom for drugs or other favors. I regretted a few tattoos, like the "Fuck Bitches, Get Money" I had tatted along my inner-bicep, or my ex-girlfriend-of-two-week's name on my left ass cheek, or the nonsensical markings under my eyes, but for the most part, I didn't mind being inked up. I figured it added character.

Kairi had been waiting for me on the patio in her purple one-piece, holding two plush towels under her arm. "I want a tattoo," she told me as we started to make our way down the patio stairs to the lake. "I was thinking something like a feather on my wrist, you know, to symbolize—"

"Basic bitch tattoo," I interrupted, shaking my head. "How about something cool, like…" I thought for a moment. "Like a portrait of your cool big brother, Axel."

She giggled and playfully bumped me with her shoulder.

As we approached, the trio of dorks turned towards us. Xion and Roxas were sitting on the shore side-by-side while Sora lingered in waist-high water. He waved exuberantly, beckoning us over. "Come on in, the water's great!"

"It's freezing," Roxas said, facing back forward. I appreciated the heads up.

Kairi draped our towels over a low hanging tree branch next to the others and kicked off her flip-flops before wading in, letting out a high-pitched squeal when she felt how cold it was. She scampered back to shore.

"Told you," Roxas smugly mumbled.

"It's fine once you get used to it," Sora argued, cocking his hip. "Roxas just doesn't like to leave his comfort zone. Isn't that right, Rox?"

"Shut up, Sora."

For some reason, I felt an inkling that Sora wasn't just talking about the water anymore. I glanced at Xion. She had her legs pressed to her chest, her thin arms loosely rested atop her knees. For a moment, I wished I had the power to read minds just so I could figure out what the fuck she could possibly be thinking. She'd hardly uttered a word since arriving. I wondered if she loved Roxas. I wondered how many other guys she'd fucked.

"So are you guys back together?" I found myself asking aloud before I could catch myself.

Sora fake gasped, and it was at that moment that everything made sense. He knew. He had to know. Since the beginning. He fucking knew.

"You guys broke up?" Kairi asked, knitting her brow.

"This is news to me!" Sora exclaimed, still feigning surprise. With all the money this kid probably had, he should've invested in better acting classes.

Xion suddenly stood, letting her toes touch the cold water. "We're just friends now," she said, no hint of emotion in her voice. "Mutual understanding."

"Wow, I had no idea," Kairi said, the astonishment unmistakable in her voice.

"So, what's the point of all this bullshit?" I was talking directly to Roxas and he knew it despite having his back to me. "C'mon, Rox, we talked about this."

Xion waded out towards Sora, trying to be blasé. Sora playfully tugged on her sunhat and she splashed at him, letting out the faintest giggle. Meanwhile, Kairi watched me and Roxas, confused.

"Do we really have to do this now, Axel?" Roxas sounded exasperated. "Why does everything have to be so theatrical with you? Take rejection like an adult."

"Oh, you're rejecting me now?"

"Kairi, come on in the water with us!" Sora called out. He might've been an obnoxious instigator, but he was trying his damnedest to distract the girls from our impending scene.

"Axel, I've been rejecting you since I first met you. I've tried to be nice, but you're impossible. You're creepy. Predatory, even."

My mouth hung agape at the accusation, the veins in my neck straining. A searing hot anger overcame me. No, not anger. Hurt. Betrayal. A feeling akin to having my organs being pulled out through my ribcage.

Kairi was about to join Sora and Xion but she stopped in her tracks and whipped around towards Roxas. "Don't you dare," she hissed, and it was a venomous tone I had no idea she was capable of, "Don't you dare make him leave again by being a jerk. For once in your life, be nice."

"Kairi, stay out of it."

"Come on, Kai, leave them," Sora tried again. "This is just what brothers do."

"Brothers," Xion repeated, a smirk implied. She knew too.

I tried to find my voice to say something, but I just couldn't. My brain and mouth were disconnected, my thoughts an incomprehensible heap.

Roxas remained seated, his eyes to the pine trees on the horizon. I couldn't see his face, but I imagined he wore that blank indifferent expression I've become well acquainted with the past couple months. Instead, I looked hard at the back of his head, at his cowlick and disarray of dark blond spikes. I looked at his tan shoulders and the freckles that dotted them like constellations. I looked at him while his words replayed in the forefront of my brain, and I thought of the man who fathered me. The world was spinning a bit too fast. My vision blurred.

Predatory, even.

Is that all this has been? Me preying on a troubled kid?

Are you proud of me, dad?

"Axel, don't let him get to you." I felt a soft touch on my arm and I aggressively smacked it away. Kairi gasped and instantly recoiled, cradling her hand against her chest. "A-Axel…"

"Hey, man, take a deep breath," Sora said, quickly making his way to shore. "Let's go get you something to—"

"Did you just hit my sister?" Roxas roared, his apathetic façade quickly disintegrating. He was on his feet and storming over to me and I didn't move. I couldn't.

"Roxas! Don't!" Kairi yelled.

And history likes to repeat itself, because before Roxas could hit me, I just punched him square in the face. And then again. And again. And again. And then we were no longer vertical. I could feel each individual granule of sand and dirt pressing into my skin. Roxas wasn't fighting back. There was so much commotion, hands were on me, pulling me. Hot tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. There was blood. Warm, sticky blood.

"Axel, please!" Kairi plead. "Axel, stop!"

But I couldn't stop.

Everything had finally compounded. I had finally burst.

Beneath me, Roxas groaned. I collapsed onto his chest and cried.