Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Fairy Tail
Quite quickly, Nab realized why the others had been so irritated with his lack of understanding over what he had done. Research into encyclopedias detailing different species of animals was so repetitive. Nab wanted to stop almost right away, but then again, Loke was there with him. Having someone helping at least made the work quicker, and gave him something entertaining to do when he needed a break. After all, most of the guild usually ignored him anyway. He wasn't used to being the center of attention like this, not just from the guild but from their supposed enemies as well.
The truce created a lot of tension, he had noted. Together, they had spread out to try and research what kind of magic Nab may have used. Some of the Spriggan Twelve had returned to Alvarez for that aspect, researching in their own archives to find more. Communication from them came on a daily basis, usually through a lacrima. From what he had heard, Sabertooth had decided to act as the mediator between their two groups. Somehow, Sting was able to tolerate their personalities better than Nab. In return, he was more focused than Fairy Tail and calmer, leading to fewer irritations on their end as well.
Still, having some of the Spriggan Twelve in the guild hall was unnerving. August refused to return to Alvarez, insisting that he wanted to be near whenever Nab was capable of replicating his spell. Supposedly, the man was convinced he could recreate it after just seeing it once. That meant that Nab was uncomfortably learning to cope with the elderly man breathing down his neck all of the time. Yet, he ignored it and faithfully continued studying, as was requested by the guild.
It was during his reading of the forest species of magical creatures that Loke seemed to groan, throwing his book aside with a scowl. "This is getting us no where." He rubbed his face, looking exhausted. Really, Loke had been working harder than anyone else. Nab understood why, despite the pang of jealousy that struck every time he spoke of his devotion to Lucy. That girl was the holder of his key. As such, Loke needed her back or else he would die in this world. Nab couldn't hold that against anyone, and as such, he was strongly driven to find a way as well. Either way, research wasn't helping him remember what kind of animal's spirit he had used in the first place.
"I am inclined to agree." August nodded at him, moving closer. "If I may make a suggestion…have you considered simply practicing your magic? Recollection is often easier when doing something of a similar nature."
Staring at his lap, Nab bit his lower lip. "Well…I suppose I could try. This isn't exactly the kind of thing I normally do, though. I'm probably no good at it at all. Yeah, no good at all…it would probably just waste our time. We're better off waiting for the perfect chance to use that spell again—"
"Stop with this waiting for the 'perfect job' crap!" Loke snapped at him, making Nab flinch at his words. "You know, when I heard what you'd done, I really did have hope that you could do this, Nab. We've worked together in the past, and despite the fact that you've dropped off the grid of the wizarding world now, I knew you had potential back then. What the hell happened? Why the hell can't you even try anymore?"
"Because I don't want to be a wizard!" Nab's voice raised in volume, rising to his feet as he finally found the courage to speak up. Loke blinked in surprise at him, taking a step back as Nab hung his head. "Because I…I never wanted to keep being one. That's why I stopped…why I never took any jobs. Too many of them went wrong…I was always useless—"
"And what about that job we did together? I'd say you handled that wyvern well, not to mention the scavengers that came after." A cave-in after defeating the wyvern on that job had trapped them in the creature's nest. Smaller animals had managed to work their way inside, not only attacking the carcass of the dead wyvern but also Loke and Nab. "You have skill, Nab. What you lack is confidence and practice. Take August's advice…as much as I hate to agree with a guy that was trying to destroy our guild, he has a valid point."
Closing his eyes, Nab took a deep breath. Loke had faith in him. Yet, Nab just couldn't do the same. "That job…I only succeeded on that job because of luck. The wolf spirit back then — he was trying to call for pack mates…the howl, the violent thrashing…really, it was a desperate instinct of an animal seeking out aid that won."
"And yet it still managed to get the job done, Nab."
"Even if you are unskilled in terms of magic, consider for a moment what you've accomplished recently." August joined in, crossing his arms over his chest. "In all of my years of service to his majesty, none have surprised him and managed to truly cause any damage to his person. Not even I, with all of my training and experience, have managed to land anything beyond a few brief counter attacks, and those spars still ended with my own defeat."
"If I had any control…our guild members wouldn't have gone with him." Still, Nab didn't know where to. He had seen the spell with his own eyes, yet he couldn't name it. He had felt it activate, yet he didn't know what it did. Why was he such a useless wizard? "If it were anyone other than myself, Natsu and the others would be here."
"And your guild would have fallen, and his majesty would have achieved his end goals." August spoke calmly, meeting his gaze. "While that is what I personally desire, I am aware that you do not wish for such an end to this war. You did manage to achieve your goal of preventing his majesty from retrieving Fairy Heart. Currently, there is no possible way for him to reach it, as it is clear that he is even beyond the reach of our current knowledge of this world."
It wasn't enough, though. Why couldn't they see that Nab was just a walking disaster waiting to happen? He hung his head, pouting slightly at the thought. "And maybe that would have been better…at least someone would have been happy. Now we're all miserable and have lost someone we care about…and I can't even figure out what happened to them in the first place."
Running a hand through his hair, Loke frowned and shook his head. "And that is why we're stuck." He glanced towards August, placing a hand on his hip. "I don't think even you can do a thing to help a wizard who refuses to try. Maybe I'd have been able to figure out something with him in the past…but it's clear that Nab isn't the kind of wizard he used to be."
It was true. Nab couldn't deny that he had stopped even trying to keep himself active after the Tenrou team vanished. Jobs were scarce, and even if he had an interest in taking them, he knew he wouldn't be seeing Loke anytime soon. He'd locked himself in his own home, living off of his inheritance from his family while ignoring the others. No one even seemed to notice his absence, or his sudden return when he heard the rumors of Fairy Tail's strongest members coming back. "It's not my fault that this job is too much for me…" He weakly tried to defend himself, already knowing that it was just deflecting the blame like always.
"I see your dilemma." August frowned, studying Nab closely. "Very well. You've ruined everything, and there is no hope to resolve the issue." Blinking, Nab's eyes widened and flashed towards the elderly man who was narrowing his eyes at the animal possession wizard. "Now…what will you do next? Embrace despair? Move forward? What path lies ahead for a wizard who has destroyed everything around him? I have encountered others who have done the same…who focus solely on the guilt and let that guilt blind their actions. I have also been near one who uses that loss to his advantage…finding strength to move forward, despite the odds against him. Impossible as the task may be, we all seek a way to continue on and move forward towards some goal, even if we never realize it in the end."
Loke seemed to pick up on that, nodding and moving towards Nab. "He has a good point. You say you don't want to be a wizard? Well, then why stay in Fairy Tail? Why, after all these years, are you still here?" Nab didn't answer, avoiding his gaze. "Maybe you don't even realize what it is yourself…but part of you doesn't want to lose this, Nab. Don't give up because something seems hard. Try, and keep trying until you find a way. Isn't that what you did with me when I wanted to give up? Back when you first met me, and I was just waiting for this world to steal away the last of my energy…did you just let me waste away?"
Nab still remembered that day. It had been at his lowest point, when he first began thinking about leaving Fairy Tail. Back then, Nab had been far more fit, and well practiced in his magic. Some job had asked a wizard to investigate a temple in the area, claiming that an odd magical aura had been sensed nearby. The job simply asked for the wizard to say if it was dangerous or benign, not to actually deal with the dilemma, so Nab thought it would be simple enough for him to manage. Animal spirits had good instincts, after all, and should be able to identify danger without too much effort.
As Nab approached the temple, he had still felt wary of the job. Already, someone had pickpocketed him in the train station, and he'd been forced to sleep on the sidewalks of the closest town. While Nab did not mind camping, it was irritating when he had intended on being indoors for this trip. He had also lost all of his snacks for the trip, plus his books that he planned on reading for entertainment in his free time. Maybe he wasn't as well read as their recent bookworm in the guild, but Nab sure enjoyed a decent book about wildlife in unusual regions.
When approaching the temple, Nab had drawn upon the energy of his spirits oh so slightly, not even taking on a full possession for any of them. His body took on a red glow, the aura of their spirits engulfing his body in a warm light. Most people thought it looked more ominous than it was, but until Nab lost himself to the true possession, it actually was quite harmless. All it did was enhance his senses, allowing him to smell things in the air that usually only animals could detect. The young dragon slayer in the guild had that skill to some extent, but not even the mimicry of that magic could exceed an animal possession user at full strength. Instincts that were foreign to his body tried to give him various directions, some demanding to go to the forest for camouflage and others telling him to hunt for food and water to satisfy his minimal hunger already. Ignoring them, Nab tried to focus on the area around him, sensing for danger of any kind.
As he opened his eyes, taking deep slow breaths, he studied the surrounding area. At the time, he had far more skill with his magic since he had at least been trying to do well as a wizard. Still, there was nothing standing out to him as being abnormal. All he could sense, and see, was the ruins of the church in the middle of some field, oddly without any buildings to surround it. Nab walked closer, cautiously wondering if he had missed something by standing so far away. As he opened the doors, he had blinked in surprise at the sight inside. There, while the church was in ruins and decayed beyond use, a man sat. He was hunched over, his head hung low to his chest and his legs pulled into his body, curling over in a ball. While he was dressed in an elegant suit, time seemed to have dirtied the outfit, making it seem ragged and filthy as opposed to high-class like it was meant to appear.
The boy didn't even move as Nab walked inside, despite the clang of the door slamming shut behind him. "Um…sir? I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm a wizard from Fairy Tail…and I'm trying to…" He trailed off, seeing no response still from the man. Swallowing, Nab approached slowly. Had he walked here only to find a dead body? That would be just his luck. However, none of the animal instincts driving him sensed death. The spirits of scavengers were exceedingly skilled at such things, so he knew it had to be something else. Dropping his magic for the time being, Nab tried to seem more approachable for the moment, not wanting to frighten the man.
Nab knelt down next to where he lingered by the alter, trying to get a good view of him. His orange hair was all that was visible, and he was doing a great job of hiding his face with his arms crossed over his legs. "Are you okay?" He wanted to smack himself for that question. Clearly, he was not okay. Yet, the words had slipped out anyway, useless just like he was.
"Please…just leave me be." The response was quiet, so quiet Nab wondered if he had imagined it. However, the boy still did not move in the slightest. Remaining where he was, Nab bit his lip, wondering what he could even do. Anyone else would have been better for this situation. Natsu could have cheered him up in an instant with a smile, and he was just a child. Erza could have dragged this man away from the church, and while not exactly kind, she would have forced him to ignore whatever happened that bothered him so much. Even Mira would be able to help him, simply by intimidating him into speaking about his problems. "I'll be joining Karen soon…so just leave me be."
The way he spoke, it was as if this man had given up. Blinking, Nab realized he was like himself. Hadn't he given up on being a wizard? Wasn't he done with the injuries and suffering every job caused him? Nab was useless, and this man seemed to feel the same. "Oh…you can't do anything either, can you?" The man didn't reply, and Nab took a seat by his side. "I said I came here to do a job…but I already failed. I'm a miserable excuse of a wizard…I can't even sense the magical aura in this place, much less explain if it is dangerous or not…"
The man snorted, shaking his head. "You just don't listen either, do you?" This time, he looked up and Nab saw his face for the first time. It looked so dejected and empty, as if he had lost everything important to him. "I'm not here to relate to your problems. Sometimes, people just want to be alone to deal with their own."
"I know…I'm sorry. It's just…you looked like you felt like me. Like you failed…failed in everything you wanted to do."
"And unlike your failures, mine have consequences." Loke snapped at him, making Nab bite his lip and drop his gaze. He was right, of course. Nab was just being selfish with his words, not even thinking of others. "Karen's dead…and I'll be joining her."
That was what made Nab stiffen, finally feeling inspired enough to attempt to talk about his issues rather than his own. "But…why? Wouldn't Karen want you to live on?" He had no idea who this Karen was, but it sounded like someone important to Loke. Maybe she was a lover of his, or some old family member, but either way, Nab couldn't imagine a loved one wanting the death of another.
Scowling, Loke glared over at him. "You don't know anything, so stop trying—"
"And if she does want you dead…well, why are you listening to her in the first place?" Loke blinked at him, while Nab stared at his lap. "I know I'm not good at things like this…I know I'm probably failing to even say something you'll care about. But…I just can't understand why you'd die, just because she wants you to. Maybe you cared for her and she didn't for you…but if she didn't care for you, why live your life the way she asks you to? Shouldn't you be living your life the way you want to live it? I…even if you want an end for yourself…can't you at least try to find a better path? I know plenty of people who would be happy to let you join our family. Plenty of good people, who care for each other, no matter what happens. They let me stay with them, despite how useless I am…but I'm not talking about me!" He rushed out the words, panicked that the man would think he was being selfish again. "It's a good place for you, that's all. I mean, if you don't have anywhere else to go too…"
The man watched him for a moment, shaking his head and sighing. "I'm not doing this for her. No matter what I want, no matter what anyone wants, I'm still going to—" Before Loke could finish, a loud crash had interrupted them. The ceiling of the church began collapsing, letting chunks of cement fly down onto the ground. Without a thought, Nab tackled the strange man to the ground, keeping his gaze alert for whatever had caused this. Drawing on his magic again, he prepared himself to select an animal spirit to fight through him, yet he paused when he heard the strangest cry ever. It was not that of an animal he was aware of, something like a cross between a keening noise and a roar. It was desperate, and confused. For whatever reason, the creature responsible did not sound like it was aggressive.
Used to injury, Nab was at least able to rise to his feet after the dust began to settle. Collapsed on the ground, he could see what had crashed into the church in the first place. It was an odd animal, with curved horns on its head that reminded Nab of a ram. Yet, the face was more fierce, with sharp teeth that marked it as a carnivore at the very least. Its lack of aggression was odd, and it mewled weakly as it tried to shift its weight from its injures. The body was large, yet no fur or scales covered it. Instead, it seemed to be skin, coated in slime that seemed oddly reptilian in nature. Thin legs told him the creature did not walk often, as did the wings that seemed to spread from its back. They were bent unnaturally, and it likely did not even have the strength to walk given the deterioration of the muscles in its legs.
Walking closer, Nab touched the creature's chest, smiling faintly at it. "I know…it hurts, doesn't it? This isn't your home, either." The other man watched him, blinking in shock as Nab approached without fear. Looking towards him, Nab smiled at him. "Don't worry, he is far more fearsome in appearance than in reality. Based on the calmness around us, I'd be willing to assume he was tamed or domesticated by someone nearby." Understanding the nature of an animal on sight was one of the more challenging aspects of being an animal possession user. In order to take on the spirit of an animal, the wizard had to know the animal almost as well as oneself. Not only that, but the animal had to agree to let go of its spirit, to become one with the wizard it trusted implicitly.
This creature, whatever it was, had been an animal Nab had never even heard of before. Yet, he oddly felt a bond of sorts with the animal. As Nab rubbed its side, the animal leaned into his palm, as if asking for him to heal his wounds. When the other man slowly approached, he stared down at the creature with wide eyes. "What is that thing?"
"I'm not certain…but as you can see, this is exactly what happens on all of my jobs." He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I bring trouble with me everywhere I go…sorry if I destroyed your home." Holding out his hand, Nab had smiled faintly. "I'm Nab, by the way. If you want someone to blame…or someone to send a repair bill to, that's who it goes to."
Taking his hand, the man had frowned for a moment. He shook it, looking at his feet. "I'm…L…" He hesitated, before sighing and looking up. "Call me Loke. I don't think I deserve my former name…not anymore."
Nodding, Nab smiled faintly. There was something about this man that just seemed so like him. Seeing him getting up from his depression made Nab wonder if he could continue being a wizard. "Give me a moment. I'm thinking he will be far more comfortable without this body anymore…these injuries do not seem like something that can be healed with what we have here, and he is suffering far too much." Loke had frowned at that, but Nab had simply closed his eyes. The spirits inside him backed away, sensing what he was doing. Light engulfed him and the animal, making the creature look up and meet his eyes. Offering a hand out to the creature, Nab had smiled softly. "Please, grant me your abilities, strength, and knowledge. Merge your spirit as one with mine, and take this body as your own to fight off our mutual enemies." It was an odd ritualistic chant, not truly necessary for the spell, but one Nab had been taught by his ancestors to use for this. His family on his father's side was an entire line of animal possession users, and each generation supposedly became stronger as they gained the knowledge of their predecessors. Nab wasn't so sure about himself, but he never argued against his parents when they'd been around.
The animal's spirit came to him with ease, giving Nab a rush of energy as the body before him now went limp and motionless. Without its spirit, the animal itself perished. Moving towards the creature, he closes its eyes, murmuring softly to it. "Be at peace, and suffer no more."
"You…what kind of magic was that?" Loke looked curious, and Nab turned around and smiled at him. He felt invigorated, and now, he wasn't going to let Loke just remain here and die.
"Animal possession magic. I took this creature's spirit into myself to end his suffering. Now…as for our previous discussion…would you be willing to return with me to the guild? I'm certain the master would like to meet you, Loke." With a little more pushing and prodding, Loke had finally agreed to come. Maybe Nab hadn't realized it at the time, but that man was going to be far more important to keeping him inspired to remain in the guild than anyone else. That man had been the reason he finally had a successful job. Apparently, the animal he had taken on was the source of the odd magical aura around that church. He had succeeded in his job, and gotten away with little more than bruises that time.
Now, as Nab stood in the library with August and Loke, the memory came back to him. Blinking at Loke, he inhaled sharply, recalling the sensation of that spirit from back then. "Nab?" He had been silent for too long, lost in thought. Loke was beginning to look concerned, his brow furrowing as he gazed at his fellow guild member.
Taking another deep breath, Nab smiled at him and reached out, grasping his shoulders in his excitement. "I've remembered it! I know the animal's spirit that I used!" Loke blinked at him, glancing towards August who shrugged. "The animal that was there with us that day, Loke. I'd never seen anything like him before…yet I took on his spirit anyway. That's why I didn't believe myself capable of this…because I was unaware of what that animal's true abilities were."
"What sort of creature was it?" August frowned, glancing at them. Loke was leaning away slightly, not expecting Nab's enthusiasm but allowing it anyway.
Releasing Loke, Nab turned towards August and bit his lip. "Oh…right. Well…see, I still don't know."
"And I can't say I've ever heard of it either…" Loke sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Still, it's a start. What kind of an animal would that even be classified as? It kinda looked like maybe some sort of bird, or reptile…"
"Whatever the classification, I'd search based on habitat. It was a rarity, an animal who survived solely in the air and not on the ground." That made August's eyes widen.
"I've never heard of such a thing. Surely, for hunting it had to land?"
Shaking his head, Nab smiled. "It couldn't walk. The muscles in its legs had atrophied and were no longer usable, likely due to excessive time in the sky. That should limit the search, right?"
Nodding, August smiled faintly. "I see. Then I suppose I will pass that along to Sabertooth for the others in Alvarez to focus their search." He patted Nab's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. "That was excellent work, Nab. I hope you now see what simply trying can accomplish for you…and be more willing to train with me upon my return."
With that, the man left. For once, Nab was beginning to feel like maybe August was right. Maybe he simply failed so much because he expected himself to fail. Glancing towards Loke, Nab smiled and nodded, going back to the books to try and narrow the search. The celestial spirit was smiling faintly himself, nodding as he joined Nab at the table. "He's right, you know. You work at your best when you finally get those bursts of confidence, Nab. Back then…and even now." He looked up, and Nab felt warmth in his chest. "That's why I knew you'd be able to do this. Inside of you, you really do have the potential to be a great wizard, even if you yourself can't believe in that."
Looking up at meeting his gaze, Nab smiled faintly. "Thank you." He wanted to say more, he truly did, However, remembering what Loke's real motivations were, Nab decided to back down once again. Really, whatever he felt for Loke was best kept to himself. Past or present, Loke's first focus would always be the celestial wizard he served. "And I promise…no matter how difficult it is or how long it takes. I will find a way to bring Lucy back. I'm sorry for putting you through this a second time, Loke…I know how you feel about losing your keyholder."
Chuckling, Loke shook his head. "That was a different time, and a different master. Lucy…she can take care of herself. I have faith in her, too." He sighed, glancing at Nab. "And you don't need to apologize, either. I'm not certain if I would have been able to hold back in your position either. Plus…you did manage to stop me from falling through whatever that portal was too. You tried to stop it, but you just didn't know how."
Smiling, Nab nodded in agreement, focusing back on his books. Loke wasn't mad at him, and he wasn't disappointed anymore. Maybe this research wouldn't be so bad as he first thought, after all. He smiled to himself, enjoying the lingering warmth Loke's words left within him. Despite keeping his love to himself, he knew that he valued Loke's presence in whatever form it came in. Vowing to not destroy it with foolish words, he decided to let Loke do what he thought best, and keep his feelings buried with the restless spirits of the animals that had not been touched in over a decade.
I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be, given the current situation going on. I know it has made things hectic for a lot of people, and I hope that things get better soon. Feel free to review and tell me what you think!