When the sun began to dip beneath the face of the hills, the group eventually settled to rest near a withered tree stump, sat atop a mound of earth over facing a field of tall grass. They had hunted within the tall grass, each at a time, returning with a small vole or mouse that would last until morning, and had begun to settle down before going to sleep.
Or at least, tried to settle.
Squirrelpaw lay isolated from the group, slowly chewing on her vole but not enjoying it in the slightest. Her stomach still felt empty and uneasy, despite being full enough. Her green eyes dimly looked at nothing in particular, too occupied in her thoughts.
She still couldn't shake off Brambleclaw's words, the evident bitterness he had shown clung to her like a cloud of fleas. He didn't even bother to look at her since, not even a word to say to her. She hazily took a quick glance at him, and sighed, wounded. He was still facing away from her, talking to Feathertail.
'Looks like he'd rather talk to a different clan over me.' Squirrelpaw thought, her brow furrowing. It was stupid, Feathertail had been the nicest cat out of the group after all, but Squirrelpaw couldn't help feeling a twitch of annoyance ruffle her fur.
Suddenly feeling watched, she looked around further and found Crowpaw watching her. His cool blue gaze was unreadable, clear with thought, but Squirrelpaw only felt a venomous irritation bubble at his sight. After how much of a pain he had been that morning she was in no mood for anything to do with him. It was his fault Brambleclaw thought she was nothing but a fight seeking cat after all. If he hadn't been such a self-absorbed flea-pelt she never would have even spoken to him!
She scowled hatefully at him, watching his eyes fill with surprise, but soon returning her glare. Squirrelpaw didn't break her stare though, glaring until he turned away, returning to his mouse with a huff.
Squirrelpaw felt a twinge of satisfaction at not breaking first, but it soon made way for her sadness at her clanmate to return. She turned away from the Windclan Tom with a growl, tearing off another piece of her vole. "Stupid runt." She hissed through her full jaws.
"Do I even need to guess who you're talking about?" A soft voice meowed.
The Thunderclan apprentice swallowed with a jolt, turning to find Feathertail laid down next to her with a friendly smile. Squirrelpaw flushed; how had she not been able to notice the Warrior approaching her? The ginger molly offered a small smile back, whiskers dropped sheepishly.
"You heard that?"
Feathertail giggled, "Kind of hard not to. What has he done now?"
"Just staring at me." Squirrelpaw exhaled with a frown. When Feathertail said nothing, Squirrelpaw looked to find the Riverclan cat staring down incredulously.
"That's it?" Squirrelpaw nodded and Feathertail let out a gentle laugh. "Wow, he doesn't need to do much to annoy you, does he?"
It was clearly well meaning, but Squirrelpaw still found herself frowning. It was like Feathertail was treating her like an inexperienced apprentice. "I just don't like him. He's so miserable and rude all the time."
"Oh, Squirrelpaw, you've only known him two days." Feathertail purred.
"And all he's ever done is start fights!" Squirrelpaw retorted, her tail fur spiking in agitation. "And yet, I'm the one being blamed!" The cat lay her chin over her two front paws, seething into the ground but her voiced was laced with upset.
"Squirrelpaw," Feathertail's tone smoothed tenderly, "No one is blaming you for anything."
"Tell that to Brambleclaw." Squirrelpaw mumbled under her breath. Feathertail still heard it though and pressed her silver pelt against the smaller cat. Squirrelpaw slowly faced the gentle Warrior, her stiff expression breaking slightly under the uncompromising kindness that glowed off the cat.
"I think Brambleclaw's just stressed, Squirrelpaw." Feathertail suggested, she let out a brief laugh. "We all are, really. Everyone's anxious about this journey. Maybe he's just not taking it as well as the others."
"He practically said he didn't care if I went out on my own!" Squirrelpaw objected, her eyes flashing with anger.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that." Feathertail meowed. "You're his clanmate, of course he cares. He was just in a bad mood."
Squirrelpaw's eyes returned to the ground, still plastered with a frown. "Maybe, but he doesn't need to take it out on me. I care about this journey as much as anyone else."
"I'm sure you do, but," Squirrelpaw could practically hear Feathertail think carefully about her next words. "It doesn't really help if you and Crowpaw are constantly fighting."
Squirrelpaw groaned, "It's not my fault if he's as pleasant as a thorn in the paw!" The ginger molly swiped her tail in his direction. "I'm not just going to let him act like he's better than me when we're both apprentices!"
"He's like that with everyone, Squirrelpaw, not just you."
"Exactly!" Squirrelpaw raked her claws along the dirt, imagining she was clawing the fur from Crowpaw's smug grin. "He doesn't have even a little respect for anyone but himself! He's an absolute pain!"
Feathertail listened to the girl, turning in Crowpaw's direction momentarily, contemplating the apprentice's words. "I think he's just lonely."
Squirrelpaw scoffed, "Lonely! It's his own fault if he is, it's what he gets for being so hostile to everyone!" He certainly never acted like he was sad in any way; all he did to her was scowl and insult the others. That was a funny way to make friends!
"Well, maybe he's just upset that doesn't have his friends here with him."
"You think he has friends at all?" Squirrelpaw smirked.
"Squirrelpaw, he's the only one here who doesn't have someone close with him." Feathertail purred, her eyes flickering with sympathy. "Think about it, I have my brother with me, Tawnypelt has her brother, and you have your clanmate. He doesn't have anyone."
The Thunderclan apprentice paused, she had never thought about that. She found herself imagining how she would feel if she was the only Thunderclan cat in a group of cats from a different clan. It certainly wouldn't be pleasant. Even if Brambleclaw was acting like a mouse-brain, he was still her clanmate, and there was a good level of trust in that alone. Crowpaw was alone in a way; not his clan or family were with him on this journey.
Squirrelpaw reluctantly felt a strange sympathy overcome her momentarily, but it faded as soon as it stuck. He still had no right to be such a fox-hearted mange pelt! If he had ever tried to be nice to Squirrelpaw, she would have gladly treated him with the same respect, but he didn't, so she had no reason to feel sorry for him!
The ginger apprentice sniffed roughly, "He's still a bee-brain."
Feathertail sighed, her tail running gingerly across Squirrelpaw's pelt. "All I'm trying to say is that I just think you could try being nicer to him." Squirrelpaw nearly choked on the final bite of her vole.
"How can I be nice to him if he insists on being so difficult all the time?" Squirrelpaw complained.
"Well you two can start by trying not to get in so many arguments." Feathertail chuckled.
Squrrelpaw was indignant. "Well he can maybe not start so many in the first place."
"If he's the one that starts them, don't bite back, keep your pride. It's not worth it, trust me." Feathertail meowed, pressing against the apprentice friendlily. Squirrelpaw looked up at her. So just basically ignore him? That sounded fine to her. Sure, she hated the thought of that smug tom feeling like he had the last word over anything, but if it meant that he would be the troublesome one in the group instead of her, she supposed it was worth it.
"I can do that, but I don't think he'll suddenly stop being a pain, Feathertail." Squirrelpaw admitted.
Feathertail nodded, an exhausted expression in her eyes. "I don't either, if I'm being honest," She conceded, but returned to looking down at the cat with a simper. "But at least I know I've tried my best to be kind to him."
Squirrelpaw shook her head, she didn't even think such a cold cat like Crowpaw could have any idea of kindness, from what the others told her, he was only here out of reluctance rather than care for his clan. How could she possibly get along with such a furball?
"I'll try, Feathertail, but I pretty much know it won't do much good." Squirrelpaw meowed, lying her head on her paws with a yawn. The silver warrior smiled, playfully flicking Squirrelpaw across the nose with her tail.
"Well, at least you'll have tried." It sounded like such a simple answer, one without any merit, but Feathertail had a way of making it sound like the plain truth. Squirrelpaw couldn't help a smile come across her muzzle. The uneasiness in her stomach settled a little, replaced by a wave of peace.
A sharp snap of grass cut through the air, both molly's looking in the same direction to find Brambleclaw approaching them, his eyes glazed over, but focused on Squirrelpaw. The uneasy twist returned to her gut, along with a nervous twitch along her spine. She attempted to draw her eyes from him, but his presence lingered over her like a thunderstorm. She really didn't want another lecture right now, especially when it was looking like she was making an actual positive impression.
Soon, the Thunderclan warrior loomed over the pair. "Hello, you two." He said curtly, almost polite, "I'm sorry if I'm cutting in on anything, but Feathertail, may I please speak with Squirrelpaw, alone?"
No! Squirrelpaw's mind yowled. Whatever it looked like Brambleclaw was going to say, it didn't look good. She gave a pleading look to Feathertail, but the warrior just gave her a small smile before rising up with a nod towards Brambleclaw.
"Of course." Brambleclaw nodded back politely. Feathertail began to pad away, giving one last comforting look towards Squirrelpaw. It will be okay. "I'll see you later, Squirrelpaw."
Squirrelpaw smiled back thinly, her gaze returning to the ground as she was left with her clanmate towering over her. She felt her throat go dry again, apprehensively sniffing as she awaited Brambleclaw's inevitable harshness.
The brief moment of silence seemed to pierce the apprentice like a wound. Brambleclaw cleared his throat. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice softer but by no means friendly. Squirrelpaw looked up cautiously, his amber eyes were narrowed but they didn't seem angry at least. She nodded gradually.
"Good." Brambleclaw's gaze drew around the clearing awkwardly, "Listen, I, um… I wanted to talk about earlier."
Squirrelpaw tensed. What else did they have to talk about? "…alright?"
"I… I may have been a little… hard on you." Squirrelpaw's eyes shot towards him, he looked uncomfortable, his muzzle in a thin line as he assessed his words over. "Look, don't get me wrong, you shouldn't have been fighting so much! But, I may… was probably a little over the top in the things I said."
Squirrelpaw's tension melted away, suddenly replaced by a tight grasp of anger that clenched her heart. "A little!" She hissed.
Brambleclaw frowned at her tone but resigned himself with a sigh. "Yes." He drawled. "I am glad you're here. It's just been a stressful day, and you weren't helping with the constant arguing…" Noticing Squirrelpaw's muzzle contract, Brambleclaw held his temper back and carried on smoothly. "But I was still too harsh on you, and… I apologise for that." He straightened himself up, looking slightly pleased with his generous apology.
Squirrelpaw was still reeling though. He's glad I'm here! Yeah, probably because he still thinks I would have betrayed him to Firestar! What about that? Wasn't he going to acknowledge that? Wasn't he going to say that he actually trusted her?
By the way he stood there awaiting her response, it looked like he thought he was finished. Squirrelpaw held herself back from shaking her head, there was still a lot she would have liked to hear from him. Even if he had acknowledged his harshness, he still didn't look like he wanted to explore just what he had said to her. Her claws sank into the dirt, her tongue already pulsing with venomous words she had to say to him.
Then she paused and thought about Feathertail's words.
It wasn't worth it. What good would it do to put him down a step? Nothing at all. She didn't have to stand around moping over what he should have said, and what he did say. Squirrelpaw could move on.
Squirrelpaw forced herself to look up at the tom. "Okay, thank you." She wouldn't add that she forgave him, because she didn't, but she'd do her best to hold that back.
Brambleclaw perked up with a satisfied smile, "Thank you." His pompous grin made Squirrelpaw's fur bristle with irritation, she flicked her tail bitterly. "But please, just try not to get in anymore fights, alright? I understand that Crowpaw is difficult, but we need to get as far as we can tomorrow. So, try not to get involved in anymore stupid fights."
The Thunderclan apprentice glowered again; he still spoke to her like she was a kit. Still acted like she was some foolish puffball. "I understand." Brambleclaw must have missed the grit in her jaws because his tail whipped her pelt proudly. Squirrelpaw hated it.
"Great!" Brambleclaw exclaimed, "Thank you for understanding!" Squirrelpaw flicked her ear dismissively, licking her front paw to remove any attention from the warrior.
"Of course." She said absently.
The silence that followed made it clear to Brambleclaw that the conversation was over, he frowned again, but he couldn't risk any more tension. "Okay well… would you like to sleep near me?" He offered.
Squirrelpaw sighed, she was still irked by the cat, but it would probably be best to make it as best she could. She did want things to be better between the pair, after all. Maybe this would make it easier for her to move on from what a mouse-brain he was. "If you'd like." She rose up to the smiling warrior, walking beside him to a patch of grass near the rest of the group.
The anger and betrayal still boiled in her gut, leaving her with a heavy irritation. Still, she knew she had to try and move past it. All she had to do was try to avoid anymore fights with Brambleclaw and they would get along fine, she just had to rise above the times when he was being unfair. Prove she wouldn't let his temper get to her. Oh. She frowned. She also had to try and be… nice to Crowpaw, even when he was in his familiar frosty mood. That would be harder. Because when he talked down to her, it was like he was talking down on her clan.
She took another glance towards Crowpaw, he was laid down, ready to sleep, but Feathertail was standing next to him, talking with him. His ears were flat against his head, scowling, argumentative, but keeping his voice hushed. Feathertail just smiled on at him, her lake blue eyes were cool on his form as she spoke calmly to him. Squirrelpaw shook her head, inwardly scowling at the tom, whatever good Feathertail saw in him, she would never understand.
She settled nearby, curling herself into a ball and yawning. Brambleclaw had been right about one thing, they did have a long journey ahead of them, and she needed whatever rest she could get.
Brambleclaw nestled close to her. He was close enough that his huge figure radiated a gentle warmth. It crawled over Squirrelpaw like sweat from a hot day. "Good night, Squirrelpaw." He yawned.
"Good night." Squirrelpaw said back. She couldn't bring herself to mean it.