A couple months have passed since my beautiful daughter's birth, they've been rather strenuous, and still kind of are, but I've at least found that I'm a better father than I gave myself credit for; though Pearl still had to help me from time to time. Ocasio certainly has taken more of a shining towards me, which Pearl is kinda let down by but I constantly assure her it's only temporary. My daughter has grown a bit as well, I believe she currently reaches what I remember Ruby's hip in height.

Speaking of my daughter, the wails of the damned soon assaults my ears. "Pearl," I call out to my significant other, no return, "Pearl, it's your turn." Once again no response. I get up from my stone slab and find she is unsurprisingly gone from the room, she is probably looking for that Peridot who had shown up months before I reformed. It is kind of odd to think of only a Peridot coming to Earth and causing so much worry, even Garnet was feeling a bit antsy about her. I mean, it wasn't like there was any soldiers like Amethysts or Jaspers; or, at least, I wasn't told of there being any.

But nevermind that, I have a gemling to calm, "Hey Topy, what's got you so riled up?" I rock her gently in my arms for a bit and after she calms down I decide since she probably won't go back to sleep I might as well take her outside for a stroll. Upon leaving the room I find that nobody is home, 'So they even brought Steven searching…'

I plop down on the couch, the cushions soothing my bottom and back; sleeping on a slab is not as comfortable as I make it look. I might as well wait for them to return and make the most of my wait. I play a game Steven taught me that is used by humans to entertain their offspring, I believe he called it peek-a-boo. After that I try teaching Ocasio to walk, she surprises me by getting it down in mere seconds. She surprises me further by saying her first words, "I'm tiwerd…"

I scoop her off the floor, containing my surprise but not my pride, "Well Topy, why don't we just take a nap?" I plop back down on the couch and begin singing the lullaby that my mother so often did whenever I had trouble sleeping, though I had to translate it from Crystallic because she was still but a Gemling.

The shadows, the shadows, they are a light in disguise. Hold them close, hold them dear.

The shadows, the shadows, they are a light in disguise. They are your loved ones, coming to tell love is near

The shadows, the shadows, they are a… light…

Both father and daughter drifted off into the warm embrace of slumber, both exhausted in their own ways.

Emerald awakes to a grove of trees, but not the ones he is familiar to. He searches around and finds he is in a land of living decay, or at least that was what he felt the marsh seemed like. He waits for the Lynx to come, but it never does, how odd. He waits longer, not wanting to miss what he feels to be his dream guide. But his legs begin moving of their own accord, he doesn't object until he begins seeing them… the memories… his failures…

He watches himself the day his sister was stolen, he watches the day he was exiled to Earth and notices for the first time she was forced to watch him be poofed. He watches his numerous failures during the war, he watches as his fellow Crystal Gems are shattered left and right and he lives. Emerald watches the day that kid, Feyfolk, paid the ultimate price for his negligence. He watches his final stand against the Homeworld forces, he watches as his final act is enacted, he then watches the faces of all his fellow Crystal Gems as they moan and wail for the loss of him, he didn't expect his death was that bad… or that he had affected so many people…

Emerald shuts his eyes tight, "Enough! Let me wake up!" but he doesn't, his legs still trudge on through the murky waters, he walks for so long he begins to wonder if he isn't sleeping, he begins to think he is marching to his death. No… if he were dead then none of those images would be what he saw alone…

He rips his eyes open and finds himself once more in an unfamiliar place, no… he knows this place, well he knows many others like it. He resides under the water, in the depths of the ocean, this wasn't his territory. He was just happy he had appeared latching onto a stone spire. He became less happy when that spire began to suck him inwards, he tried desperately to fight it, but the wild, white moss that grew on the teal colored stone dragged him further in with each bit of resistance. His eyes greedily absorbed the last bits of light it could before they became bound by the mysterious spire.

He was falling down, falling, and falling, and falling, nothing but air beneath him. Emerald knew he was falling because his hair was constantly whipping into his face. He tried to prepare himself for when he would hit ground, he may be an extremely resilient type of gem but he still detested pain; but it took forever before he had had hit solid ground, he was too prepared and ended up smacking completely flat and bouncing up for a second. He roared with pain, "Son of a frakking… Karking… For Meteor's sake that kark hurt like frak!"

Emerald had began standing when he heard a voice that had not been heard in millenia, "Emerald?"

He turns slowly out of fear that if he turns too fast he will scare her away, that he will be forced to see her slip away from him once again, "Lapis…"

She didn't smile, she didn't cry, she didn't even look happy to see him. No, she looked terrified, worried even, "What on earth are you doing here?"

Emerald, unlike his sister, begins to cry, he begins to laugh, he is pleased to see her. He is overjoyed, unconcerned even, "Lapis, is… is that really you?"

Her eyes darkened, "You have to leave Emerald, go, please!"

"Why?" Emerald's head shakes in utter confusion, did his sister not want to see him? Did he do something wrong, "Lapis, is this about me figuring out you and Quartz's prank?"

"What?" Lapis took a moment from whatever she was doing to stare at her brother. "What do you-"

Lapis nearly slams against the floor when the chains tug her. Emerald stares at his little sister with beaming pride, "Well it's about time you began your training. Oh if Mom could see you now."

"Emerald!" Lapis cannot believe her brother right now, he needed to leave, she had to keep her under control, she had to.

Emerald finally shows concern, his eyes lose their glossy sheen as he realizes this isn't the past, "Wait… Lapis what's wrong?"

"Just le-" Lapis is dragged underneath the water.

Emerald extends a futile hand, "Lapis!" He begins running to where she once stood but he stopped in his tracks when he had seen what replaced her.

The Jasper breathed heavily, "I'll give you credit, you're strong…"

"What did you do to her…"

Jasper tuned to the new person, recognition soon covered her face, "Emerald…"

"Do I know you?" he asked in surprise.

She shook her head, "No… but I know of you, Praetorian. While I wish it was Rose here again, I'll be just as happy with kil-"

Emerald watched as Jasper was dragged under the water in the same horrifying way his sister was, "Emerald… leave!"

I wake with a start, startling the recent addition to the couch club. Pearl regains her composure and rocks Ocasio back to sleep, "Dear stars Emerald, please don't do that!"

"Where is my sister?"

Pearl freezes, "Why do you ask?"

I ask my question again, "Where… is… she!" I don't want to yell but there are so many emotions flooding me at once, and my usual tactic of choosing one emotion has once again failed as I've chosen to focus on anger.

This emotion is only heightened by Pearl's reply, "We don't know…"

"We?" I scream, causing Ocasio too begin shifting in Pearl's arms. I know I should stop yelling, it's not Pearl's fault and I don't want Ocasio to have memories of me acting this way, but I can't. Moisture fills my face and tears trace their paths as my mouth twitches, "So everyone knew my sister was here on Earth, trapped in a fusion with a Jasper." my mind turns back to that night I told Steven my parents' story, when I had literally described my little sister, and I realize, he was going to tell me about Lapis.

"Emerald, please, both Ocasio and Steven are sleeping." Pearl says in a whisper.

I throw my arms up, "Oh, I'm sorry, is my anger not warranted? Should I just be like, 'gee thanks everyone for keeping my sister, of whom was stolen from me and, when I got her back, was stolen from my life.' You know what…" I take a breath in and let the air out, I swivel around, "I think I need to be alone right now…"

"Emerald, where are you going?" I hear her ask; I ignore her. I tear the door off it's hinges and cast it aside, I hear Steven wake up soon after.

I take a right and jump off of the porch, my destination is the ocean but I still need something to help me traverse it. Pearl finds me as I procure a slab of stone to cover some good distance, the others right behind her, "Emerald, please-"

"No!" I yell, I stop in my tracks and become still, "I'm done listening! I'm going to find my sister!" I resume my path, but Garnet halts me. "Let go," I say in a voice that isn't mine, it sounds like me in every way, but it isn't me. It is my anger, my fury, my self-loathing…

"You won't find her, not alone."

A dark, festering pit fills my insides, "Let go Garnet." she doesn't, she clenches harder in fact. I sighed, the breath sounding ragged and dripping with insanity even to me, "You have left me no choice."

I hear Garnet hit the wall after the vermillion light emanating from my gem subsides, I turn to the shade. "Don't kill them." I commanded and it nodded.

I turn around to leave but end up having to turn around again when a light washes over the beachfront, the coming storm making it shine brighter than it would have normally. I turn around and see that Pearl and Amethyst are gone, certainly taken into the fusion that now graces my vision. She pulls a bow and levels it at me, I turn back around. They couldn't stop me now, even if they tried my shade was ready to take any attack for me.

Sure enough, the arrow is loosed as I begin skipping across the surface of the water, I feel the slight memory of pain when my shade takes the brunt of the attack and returns to the confines of my gem.

The fusion calls out my name, not attempting to shoot me since I am certainly too far gone to do any damage, but it is quickly drowned out by the arrival of the storm. I easily power through, searching for any signs of my sister and her fusion. I know it will take a period of time… I only hope that everyone forgives me for the way I left… but I can't feel bad now, Lapis is out there, she needs me...