He'd been here before.

Well, actually, he'd been here all his life. It was on the moors of Windclan territory. On the hills that cascaded over in an endless shape. Crowpaw looked around in bewilderment, the relief of finding home leaving him as soon as he realised a more glaring fact.

He couldn't even remember how he got here.

Bristling, Crowpaw felt his stomach chill, a searing dread overcoming him. It was night-time, but where the Windclan sky should have been full of bright stars, only a vast, empty darkness hung over the hills. There wasn't even a moon. Crowpaw turned around again and again, but all that met him was the emptiness of the hills and the ebony sky.

It seemed like Windclan, but it lacked everything that meant anything.

This place was devoid of warmth and safety, only coldness and dread reigned here.

Crowpaw swallowed down his growing fear, his tail stiffening as he remembered the cats he had been with for moons. "S-Squirrelpaw?" He called out hopefully, his voice echoed around him carrying a dreary chant. It sounded wrong. "Feather-" He paused, swallowed again, and took a breath. "Tawnypelt? Stormfur? Brambleclaw?!" Again and again, only the hollow repetition of his growing fear replied to him. He could hear the terror broadening with each call.

Crowpaw's heart began to race. Something was deeply wrong here. His mind was hazy and he couldn't find the breath to even think about what was going on. He felt the freezing night all over, as if it were trying to swallow him whole. A deep convicted sense of judgement littered the hills. It was almost like a thousand eyes were glaring hatefully at him, concealed in the dark home; waiting to drag Crowpaw in.

He tried to command his trembling legs to run away, to find whatever help he could, it wasn't safe here, but his paws kept firm on the ground. The hills held him there, frozen with unknown horror.

Then he saw it.

A black shape in the corner of his eye. A tremble worked along Crowpaw's neck to his body and then down to the tip of his tail. He inhaled, craving desperately to feel anything other than the scratchy moans rasping on his voice.

He turned and two glowing eyes stared at him.

Even in the darkness, even if the cat's black pelt was nothing more than a shadow in the night, Crowpaw recognised that stare. A forgotten scent entered Crowpaw and made his jaw drop.

"Deadfoot?"

Deadfoot blinked but said nothing.

Involuntarily, Crowpaw felt the desire, the burning need to embrace his father, to cling to him like he was still a kit and not an apprentice terrified in the middle of nowhere. But he still kept still. Maybe because the cold had numbed his bones.

Maybe because Deadfoot's stare held him back.

"Where are we?" Crowpaw yowled desperately to his father. "What's going on?"

Deadfoot said that a mistake had been made.

The voice that came out of his father made Crowpaw's fur shoot up on all ends. The strands of comfort he had were scratched away and left Crowpaw alone.

"A mistake?" Crowpaw muttered.

Deadfoot repeated himself.

"What are you talking about? What mistake? I- Where's the rest of my group?"

Deadfoot said that they were fine now. That they were better off now that Crowpaw wasn't there.

"W-What?" Crowpaw stammered, now failing to muster whatever bravery he had feigned. He just now began to see that behind the hollow glow of his father's stare, there was nothing but an unimaginable hatred.

Deadfoot claimed that Crowpaw had failed. That he was the mistake that Deadfoot had made.

Crowpaw's breathing weakened. "I-I don't-"

Deadfoot screamed that Crowpaw should never interrupt him. Crowpaw cowered as the ferocity shattered the night sky and made a torrent of rain hiss down onto the pair. Crowpaw struggled to raise his gaze again; even when he was alive, Crowpaw had never heard his father yell at him like that. Deadfoot didn't react to the rain as he continued that he was a fool for ever trusting an apprentice to do a warrior's job. He bitterly remarked that Windclan was now the laughingstock of Starclan.

Crowpaw felt blame pierce through him like a stone. The kind of blame that could kill. That had killed.

"W-Well why did you choose me in the first place?" Crowpaw yelled, "If I was such a mess, why did you send me instead of a Warrior?" If he hadn't been chosen, maybe she wouldn't have-

Deadfoot interrupted the choked sob with a loathing explanation that Crowpaw had a name to live up to, and he was given a chance, and he had failed.

Crowpaw tried to rub the pain off his fur before it ate him away. "I-I did everything you told me to!" He screamed, the scream he somehow remembers from the times his father was alive. "We made it to the sun-drown place! We completed the journey!"

Deadfoot wondered aloud if the journey was complete without Riverclan's chosen cat.

Crowpaw screwed his eyes until he saw dots instead of the blood and the body. "D-Don't!" He pleaded.

Deadfoot spoke the truth. It was Crowpaw's fault. He wasn't quick enough. A Windclan cat wasn't quick enough, he spat with a bitter, horrible laugh. He mused whether Windclan would want a cat like that back if they were to ever realise that.

Crowpaw kept his eyes closed but the tears still came. Wet and hot and taunting him with his failures.

A failure. Deadfoot decided. Crowpaw was a failure to his clan, to himself, to Deadfoot, and to her.

The rain still hissed down, scratchy and scraping, but Crowpaw didn't feel it on his pelt anymore. It wasn't like he fully realised it. Apologies and begging was caught in the thorns that enclosed around his throat, digging into his tongue as he was bombarded with the images again. Deadfoot's disgusted, disowning expression. His own cowardly face, pressed against stone, frozen in fear. Then-

A new voice came, withered, forgotten, dying. But it was clear in its decision that Deadfoot was right about Crowpaw.

Crowpaw didn't know why he opened his eyes, but he did. And he wasn't in the moors anymore. The shadows of the cave flashed up and away with the roar of thunder. A tail-length ahead of him, a broken body lay in its pool of gore, silver fur matted with dirty crimson, its shattered head was turned up and staring at Crowpaw through pale, bloodshot eyes that once were a brilliant blue.

The Windclan cat felt bile in his throat as the voice he still recognised spoke up again claiming that it was Crowpaw's fault. As she spoke, she coughed out a wad of blood that flickered on the grey cat's paws.

Crowpaw didn't argue. He wanted to open his mouth and beg for whatever mercy he could still hope for.

But the growling behind him made him stop.

Wearily, acceptingly, the tom turned, staring right into the hungry ember eyes of Sharptooth. He knew that what was going to happen was what should have already occurred but, of course, he still closed his eyes and screamed as he felt the jaws lunge forward and claim the prey it always should have seized.

Regrettably, Crowpaw woke up. He shook his head from side to side, seeing no cave anywhere. Instead, his sleeping friends lay all around him. The moon sagged in the dim night; it wouldn't be long before they all had to continue home.

The tom winced at the images that still stung in his mind. His heart threatened to burst out of his mouth with how hard it was beating. He breathed slowly as he realised that he was safe.

Then the guilt made his throat close up again.

How could he feel any relief that he was safe or alive? He'd seen her in his nightmare.

The cat who would have gladly licked his head like a worried mother if she'd seen him like this. She was gone and was never coming back. And even though that vision of her had been nothing more than some terrible dream, it didn't change the truth.

It was his fault that she was dead.

He had been the one who couldn't hide from Sharptooth, he had been the one who she had risked her life for, he was the one that she had died to save. Whether it was 'prophecy' or not, she had died because of him. Now Riverclan was without their chosen cat, now they had lost a valiant Warrior, Stormfur and Greystripe had both lost their own family.

All because of some worthless, pathetic, apprentice from another clan.

Stormfur had trusted him. Make sure that she doesn't get hurt. Crowpaw had promised something that he couldn't keep. She had been hurt. She had been lost. He could only imagine what the Riverclan Warrior thought of him.

Crowpaw's head sank onto the cold grass, exhaling like it may cause his own life to fade into the hills. Deadfoot, whether it was him or not, had been right. He'd made a terrible mistake choosing his son.

Death and despair, that was what had come because of Deadfoot's choice. But then again, he'd probably only wanted to give his son a chance that Windclan never would have approved of. What that nightmare had said, who's to say it wasn't what the real cat thought.

If he closed his eyes, Crowpaw could feel the stars burning down on him with disgust.

Crowpaw felt the presence of the cats beside him, each glowing with the respectful title of Warrior. There was a reason they'd been chosen. There was a reason Crowpaw shouldn't have been. They'd all been right to be on edge when they found out an apprentice was Windclan's supposed savior. They never would have accepted him if it wasn't for her. And now, she'd had to pay the price for her kindness.

He'd not even once suspected that she might be the prophesised cat. Was he really that blind? If he'd bothered to just think for one moment, he might have been able to do something to keep her from that fate! He could have refused ever going back there!

But he hadn't done anything right, he hadn't been the friend she'd called him. Feathertail deserved better than him.

He didn't deserve a place here. He should have been the one they'd go home without.

But they were stuck with him. The memories of Feathertail, of Crowpaw's failure, were stuck with them all. They were better off if the ground would just swallow him there and then. If anything happened to any more of his friends, because of his actions…

Dolefully, Crowpaw turned to his sleeping best friend. She was curled up in a tight ball, her muzzle creased with a disturbed look. Clearly, her dreams were also plagued. Crowpaw's ears lay tight against his head, sympathy and guilt icing his heart.

I'm sorry, Squirrelpaw. I'm so sorry. She had lost a close friend too. They had become friends because of Feather. His claws retreated into him, soft horror making him ache. The bloody images of his nightmare clawed over him, reminding him what he caused, what he brought.

If he ever saw Squirrelpaw like that…

He'd sooner die.

So much of him wanted to go over to her and comfort her, to tell her that everything would be okay. But how could he dare do such a thing? He couldn't tell her such terrible lies. She wasn't stupid, she knew who was to blame, even if she was too kind to show it.

She had stayed beside him the whole way here. Her kindness was poisoning her. If she was put in a dire enough situation, Crowpaw knew how her bravery would make her act, she'd protect anyone she thought of as her friend.

She'd die for them.

Crowpaw would never let that happen.

He hated what he was thinking of doing, but it was for the best. He couldn't do anything to help Squirrelpaw. He'd seen how she had tried to storm over when Sharptooth was advancing on him, and how her death was only prevented because Brambleclaw had held her back.

Her clanmate had protected her. Her clan was the only thing that could protect her. She would only face pain if she continued on with him. Crowpaw dragged his eyes away from his friend, gritting his teeth as he forced himself to accept the truth. This needs to end. You always knew that deep down.

He was a kit for thinking any different.

If his thoughts were right, they would reach home hopefully by the end of tomorrow. They'd reach the fields first, and then they would find Windclan. Then it would all end. They would separate.

Just like they were meant to do.

Images of the journey, foolish and sickly, mocked Crowpaw. The promise to meet again. The friendship they wished to retain. The happiness of those thoughts now taunted him, laughing at how he could have believed such a fantasy.

But he had wanted it, so much.

Because he cared about them.

He cared about her.

That was why he wouldn't argue anymore. Crowpaw's blue eyes dimly gazed up at the overwhelming swarm of stars, the lights that had always been, and always would dominate the sky above them. His face sank down in defeat.

He'd done this to himself.

He knew what was right now. For their sake, for her sake, when they said goodbye, it would be for good.

…

Everything hurt.

No cat hurried along the hill slope, even as the air began to smell more like home. They were all entrapped in the memories of mountains and caves, their hearts and spirits lost with the cat who would remain there for all time, the cat who should have come home with them all.

Every face carried some dark mask, the sting of loss piercing them all. But for Squirrelpaw, that loss clumped to her like thick roots, painfully wrapping around her bleeding, cracked paws, making her yearn to fall into another flood of tears again.

She fought to keep her head up. She told herself that Feathertail would have wanted her to be strong.

But Squirrelpaw wanted Feathertail here with them.

Because now, no cat looked ready to face whatever lied ahead in their journey.

For a while, Squirrelpaw had tried her best to comfort those who needed it the most. Obviously, Stormfur was her first priority. The grey Warrior had been devastated, his usual cheer barren, replaced by the murky weariness that had claimed them all. But for him, it was so much worse. Too many times, the cat had been quietly speaking, clearly trying to make some remark about home to his sister, only to find his side empty aside from the memory that Feathertail would never come home.

The look of utter heartbreak was gut-wrenching to see every time.

Squirrelpaw had done her best, like they all did, sharing tongues and pressing gentle pelts against the cat, but every word of encouragement she offered just felt like empty, dry breath in her mouth.

How could you comfort something like this? It wasn't like it ever worked. It just reminded Squirrelpaw of those happy memories that were now bitter thorns on her pelt. Every gust of wind that should have told her they were growing closer to the clans just felt like a frosty imitation of Feathertail's voice, unreachable yet lingering forever.

She didn't need to look at her friends to know they felt it too.

Squirrelpaw sighed weakly from the back of the group. We should have all been here. That was how it was meant to be! It wasn't fair! Feathertail had given everything, had been good and kind every step of the journey, more deserving to be called a hero than anyone Squirrelpaw knew; so why did she have to be the one who died?

Why did any of them have to die at all? They had all grown so close over this journey, had overstepped boundaries that the clans were drawn by, to lose any of them was some cruel joke after everything they'd been through!

It wasn't fair to Feathertail's sacrifice!

It wasn't fair to the cats left struggling with her memory.

Especially the cat she loved, who hobbled at the front, tasting the air of his home, but with no spark of recognition at all.

It was so, so painful to see Crowpaw like this. It was clear the cat blamed himself for Feathertail's death, and he still stuck to that idea no matter how many times Squirrelpaw tried to prove to him it wasn't true. Her words only seemed to fall on him like rain, just making him more cold with every drop.

It was his eyes that made Squirrelpaw ache the most. A glazed, misty blue. Lifeless. It never left.

No cat could reach him.

But wasn't that understandable? It was clear that he had lost the cat he loved, to Squirrelpaw at least.

She really was terrible for letting herself be hurt by that as well.

Squirrelpaw watched him sorrowfully as he took in another deep breath, scenting the marsh of his homeland. "We're getting close." He muttered, loud enough to be heard, gentle enough to be weak. They had past Highstones a few minutes ago, but the realisation offered no cat any comfort. They were all numb from the loss.

"It's almost over." Tawnypelt said, it was unclear whether she was speaking to the group or herself.

Beside her, her brother, Brambleclaw, lifted his head wearily. "I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday we all set off."

Squirrelpaw saw Crowpaw's tail swing angrily, "We all should have returned." He growled, "If it wasn't for Feathertail, we would never have made it back."

His words sent a wave of grief throughout the cats, but none could disagree. "She saved us all." Stormfur agreed in a hushed whisper, his eyes drifting off like clouds.

Tawnypelt moved over to the grey cat, pressing her head gently against his. "It was her destiny."

Crowpaw's neck stiffened up, and dread coiled in Squirrelpaw. "Destiny?" Crowpaw cursed, "Her destiny was with us! It was with her clan! She shouldn't have died for another cat's prophecy!" His voice was dry with loathing.

Squirrelpaw knew where it was targeted.

She pounced up to where her friend was, the aching in her heart was now intolerable. Up close, she saw the bitterness in Crowpaw's eyes again. "She did what she thought was right." Squirrelpaw said softly, "That was just who Feathertail was."

Crowpaw seemed to be straining to look away from her. His scowl fixed ahead, creasing as her words reached him. At his other side, Stormfur crept over and pressed his muzzle to the tom's pelt. "Bravery and sacrifice are part of the Warrior Code. Would you have wanted her to make any other choice?"

The Warrior Code. The words fell onto Squirrelpaw like a hawk's talons. Her teeth quietly clashed together. Crowpaw seemed to have the same idea, his eyes widening for a split moment that made Squirrelpaw tremble. The dark tom burst ahead, tasting the air, not giving the other two any more notice.

Stormfur sighed and slunk back to where Tawnypelt was. Squirrelpaw was still watching Crowpaw wistfully, wishing she could know what to say to make him stop hurting. Over this journey, he had changed so much, they had changed so much, but now he seemed to be retreating back into the cold shell that refused any kind of kindness offered his way.

She couldn't hate him though. She wouldn't have fared much better if she had lost the cat she loved.

But now, the journey was finally ending. Soon he would be gone. Why did it have to end like this? Yes, she wanted to see her parents and sister again, the thought of their safety had never left her mind one since Midnight had told them about what the Twolegs were doing to the forest. But still?

She could never trivialise how much she would miss her friends. Especially Crowpaw.

For more than a moon, he had been by her side, through the best and worst of times. And now, it was just expected that they would leave that in the past and move on as rivals, like the clans demanded.

How could she ever do that? She couldn't just pretend that this tom didn't mean so much to her. Even when ignoring her feelings, they were close friends, she considered him her best friend, she was meant to just act like that was never even a thought?

Squirrelpaw cast her head low. It just wasn't fair.

A gentle press to her pelt made her look up. Two amber eyes looked at her with mellow sympathy. "He just needs some time." Brambleclaw purred, "We all do really."

Squirrelpaw's whiskers twitched in surprise, but her gaze softened. "You can say that again." The grass beneath her feet was soaked with dew that seeped into the cracks of her paws, making them sting. She hissed lightly, "I wish I knew what to say to him."

Brambleclaw made a murmur of acknowledgement, his great shoulders sinking on him as he exhaled. "I'd help if I could."

Squirrelpaw mewed wordlessly, strolling on.

Brambleclaw chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes flickering. "Are you going to be okay?"

He meant it well, but Squirrelpaw still laughed sadly. Oh, if her clanmate only knew. "Probably not."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." She looked over at Crowpaw again, her muzzle scrunching. "It wasn't anyone's fault. I just wish he knew that."

"He will, eventually." Brambleclaw meowed.

Squirrelpaw scoffed, "How do you know that?"

"Because I know you won't stop until he realises it."

Squirrelpaw twisted to face her clanmate. He looked down at her, a gentle smile on his face. A proud smile. He chuckled faintly, his throat humming like a summer beehive. "He's lucky to have a friend as loyal as you." His smile thinned, "She was lucky as well; to know you."

Squirrelpaw's ears twitched and her tail flattened, "So much good I did." She muttered. Feathertail was dead and Crowpaw wouldn't even look at anyone.

"Of course, it did good." Brambleclaw assured, "You were their when she needed you, that's the best any cat can ask for." He took a small breath, his ears falling flat. "It was better than anything I did."

"What?" The apprentice's ears perked up again.

"You were a better friend than I was a clanmate."

Squirrelpaw's face loosened, "Brambleclaw…"

"It's true." The brown tabby meowed out, an assured strength in his tone.

In a way, Squirrelpaw couldn't disagree. The way Brambleclaw had treated her at the start of the journey had truly been terrible. She certainly hadn't hidden the fact she resented him for his actions then. But that had been then. When they had reached the mountains, his attitude had greatly changed. He'd apologised for what he'd done and had promised to change.

And he hadn't lied. He had changed.

She thought she'd made it clear she'd forgiven him. "Brambleclaw, it's fine." She mewed, smiling gently at her clanmate. One eye cocked up a little, "You may still be a mouse-brain, but you've done enough to make up for what happened."

Despite her words, Brambleclaw still looked down, "You may be kind enough to say that Squirrelpaw. But I'd beg to differ."

Squirrelpaw let out a hurt mew, "Why?"

Brambleclaw let out a low moan, his amber eyes cooling with hopelessness. "I thought that by the end of this journey, I would have been able to prove your father for not trusting me when we left the clans." His back fur prickled. "But what did I do? I just proved him right."

Squirrelpaw's face filled with astonishment, "What are you talking about?" She remembered clearly how Firestar had treated Brambleclaw, and her for that matter, before they left. None of what happened then was fair at all.

"The way I treated you. Let's face it, I was the cat you trusted the least, me, your own clanmate!" He dipped his head feebly, "Not that I didn't deserve it. I just wanted to show I could be a good leader, and now one of us is…" His voice broke off into another shattered sigh.

Squirrelpaw remembered that clearly as well, it was true, she hadn't trusted Brambleclaw then. But that didn't stop his words from being any less stupid. The ginger molly rubbed her pelt against her clanmate's. "You're forgetting yourself, Brambleclaw. You just said it; what happened was not your fault." She looked up at him, her tail pressing against his pelt. "You apologised for how you acted. I forgave you. That's it."

"But I-"

"And believe me, you are better at leading than you think." Squirrelpaw couldn't deny that, she wasn't a liar… most of the time." Her breath cast off for a second. She reclaimed it, cold and heavy. "If it wasn't for you, Sharptooth would have got me as well."

"Are you joking?" Brambleclaw cried, his eyes wide. "You're the one who saved me!"

"And you saved me too." She may not have liked it then. But neither had Brambleclaw. He hadn't held her back to sacrifice Crowpaw, he was just doing his duty. He had to protect who he could. She would have done the same for him. "I think Firestar was more than wrong about you being a bad influence on me!"

Brambleclaw gazed down at the apprentice, his mouth open, and his eyes trembling with gratitude. Squirrelpaw purred, nudging him with her head. She gave him a playful look. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to put in a great word for you!"

The brown tabby laughed weakly, nudging her back teasingly. "He was wrong about you, as well, you know?"

"Really now?"

"Yes." His muzzle glowed with an honoured glint. "You deserve to become a Warrior. You're going to make a great one."

That was what Squirrelpaw had wanted to hear from him for moons.

"Thank you." She mewed quietly, somehow overcome. She quickly sniffed up though, cheekily whipping the larger cat with her tail. "What made you finally come to your senses?"

Brambleclaw rose a brow, smirking. "Tawnypelt told me you were keeping a tally on how many times you saved me."

Squirrelpaw laughed out loud, "Oh that. Well… I might have done. You want me to tell you the numbers."

Brambleclaw rolled his eyes, walking ahead, "I'm sure you'll tell me soon enough."

She'd missed this. This friendship they'd had before they left. The pain in her paws seemed to leave her as she realised, she had her friend back. A friend that would be by her side when they reached home.

Squirrelpaw stilled.

Home.

The molly's heart oozed with worry again, her breaths deepening. How could she have forgotten? Home; her family! This journey was far from over yet! They still had to find their clan and tell them about what they'd seen.

"What do you think my father will say when we tell him about Midnight?"

The humour drained from Brambleclaw's expression. "Who knows?"

Squirrelpaw cringed. It was her own dad and she wasn't entirely sure how he would react to the idea that they needed to run away from this forest as soon as possible. Leaving generations of history was not an easy ask. "Do you think he'll believe us?"

Brambleclaw's eyes cast down densely, "He'll have to. If what Midnight said ends up being true."

A spike of fear dug into Squirrelpaw. The destruction Midnight had promised would come… No. She had to shake those thoughts from her head. They had come so far now, they had lost too much, she couldn't afford to lose sight of the future.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Brambleclaw suddenly tensed and burst forward. "Come on!"

Without thinking, she ran after him. Crowpaw had burst off in a sprint, weaving through a rabbit track, Tawnypelt and Stormfur close behind. Squirrelpaw's heart leapt into her mouth. He must have smelt Windclan!

Squirrelpaw put all her strength into running after the group, soon catching up with them as the thought of home stimulated her nerves and muscles. She followed through the track, not pausing as the wet soil caked over her paws. They were so close to the forest. She couldn't slow down now!

Following the frantic shapes of her friends at the front, Squirrelpaw began to see a weak light shimmer near the end of the tunnel. Sunlight. She bounded towards it like it was the light of Starclan.

Ignoring the gorse spines embedding into her fur, she pounded towards the light, leaping out to see a wide grassy plain stretch out before her. Instantly, the smells of Windclan took over her senses.

They were here! Alleviation, a small victory, sparked in Squirrelpaw's gut. They had made it back!

She raced to catch up with the others, leaping through heather and tall grass, not stopping for a moment.

As she pounced through a brush of heather, she just about caught Brambleclaw's yowl. "I smell Windclan warriors!"

Squirrelpaw smelt them too. She had found one.

She digged her paws into the soil to stop herself from colliding with the cat. The tom was small, an apprentice by the look of it, and stood in the centre of a grassy clearing, his thin pelt bristled with rage as he spotted Squirrelpaw. "I knew I smelt intruders!" He hissed, as he slowly advanced on Squirrelpaw.

Squirrelpaw's eyes widened with shock, then darkened into rage, her claws unsheathing. Was she really going to need to fight this little runt as soon as she got back? After everything she'd gone through. Her pelt spiked with warning as the cat approached, growling.

Between them, a grey shape cut in. Standing a little over the apprentice, Crowpaw stared down.

"Owlkit!" Crowpaw yowled, "Don't you recognise me?" Squirrelpaw's face twisted. This pest was a kit?!

Owlkit stared at Crowpaw vaguely, before he snapped. "I'm Owlpaw now!" He hissed indignantly.

Squirrelpaw scoffed to the side. Was it true that all Windclan cats were as snappy as this?

Owlpaw did seem to recognise the tom however, but when Crowpaw tried to explain their travels and how he needed to see Tallstar immediately. Another pair of Windclan cat approached, their eyes also narrow with mistrust as they saw the other clan cats on their territory.

"Get them off our territory now!" A wiry grey tom ordered. Squirrelpaw stared worriedly at the ribs protruding from his thin waist. They looked like they hadn't eaten in days! Her worry was quickly forgotten though, as the tom, Webfoot, Crowpaw called him, demanded that they leave!

"They travelled with me." Crowpaw meowed sternly, "I'll explain it all when I see Tallstar."

"You'll explain everything later! We thought you were dead." The tone of Webfoot's voice didn't sound happy that the thought was proven false. "Now, get them out of here! They don't belong here!"

Squirrelpaw's fury raged inside of her, the fool wasn't even giving Crowpaw a chance to defend himself! She saw Crowpaw's tail lash in frustration and she couldn't stop herself from stepping forward! After everything she'd seen, she wasn't afraid of some malnourished grump.

But Brambleclaw quickly stepped forward, his head dipping respectfully to the glaring warrior. "Of course, we'll leave." A stern but pleading look crossed over to Squirrelpaw. Please keep your cool. It seemed to beg.

Squirrelpaw sighed and turned away, "We need to return to our own clans anyway." She muttered, trying to hold back her hiss.

"Then hurry up!" Webfoot growled, his unkind eyes latched onto Crowpaw. "Come on then, I'll take you to Tallstar. I'm sure he'll love hearing whatever you have to say." The cat said, his stare burning unkindly on the dark apprentice.

Squirrelpaw gaped. This was the welcome Crowpaw got, after everything he'd done for his clan?! Her heart surged to protect her friend, but she paused as she saw Crowpaw take one reserved step forward. A thought that made everything suddenly grow cold.

This was it.

After more than a moon of bonding, befriending and loving this tom, this was where they had to separate. This was where things went back to normal. She watched as Crowpaw continued to speak to Webfoot about the clans, wondering, maybe pleading, that the thought of this was as heartbreaking to him as it was for her.

He didn't look her way.

Squirrelpaw felt her own fur freeze as reality came over her in a cruel tide. This really was the end. No more walking and talking by Crowpaw's side. No more nights curled next to him, their warmth aiding each other. No more of their friendship being something they could hide.

Would their friendship even be allowed to carry on?

The molly stared hopelessly after the tom. She could still hear when she had first called him her friend. She could feel his care for her when he hugged her. Where had the time gone since then? Everything had been pulled away from her like an owl stealing a kit from their mother's paws.

She was just expected to forget all of this.

She didn't want to forget. She couldn't forget any of this.

She couldn't just treat Crowpaw like he was some enemy.

She…

He was her…

Crowpaw looked back, but it wasn't just at her. His eyes were shallow with thought, a hard line on his muzzle. "Can I say goodbye to my friends first?"

Goodbye…

Why did that word sound so harsh?

"Friends?" A brown Windclan tom meowed, aghast, "Does you loyalty lie with other clans now?" He spat poisonously.

Crowpaw gave the tom a level stare, but his paws clearly trembled in a fight to remain sheathed. "No. But we've travelled together for more than a moon."

Exactly. And so much had changed in that time.

The Windclan cats did not look pleased by his answer, but they kept quiet.

Time seemed to slow down for Squirrelpaw as she watched Crowpaw break the space between him and their friends. His eyes were still thin and hollow, but his touch was tender as her rubbed affectionately between Tawnypelt and Stormfur. Somewhere, Squirrelpaw wished he could move slower.

Each one of his movements was like a drop of rain being swallowed by a voracious lake. Soon the water would spill and Squirrelpaw would be carried away in the flood.

When he stood before Brambleclaw, Crowpaw didn't even seem to consider their history as he pressed his muzzle against the Warrior's pelt, his eyes closed. Brambleclaw looked sadly down at the apprentice, his tail wrapping over Crowpaw's back. It gently touched a line of scars that cascaded across the Windclan tom's side, scars that had long since dried up and were covered by tufts of new fur.

"We must meet again soon," Brambleclaw purred as Crowpaw pulled away; the younger tom nodded silently. Squirrelpaw's heart lightened with hope. "At the great rock, like Midnight told us. It might not be easy to convince the leaders that we need to leave the forest. But if we've seen the dying warrior…"

"Why don't we bring the leaders with us?" Squirrelpaw suggested. "They'll have to believe us if they see the warrior too!"

The others shared a grim look. "I can't imagine Leopardstar will agree to that." Stormfur mused.

"Blackstar neither." Tawnypelt added with a lash of her tail. "There's no full moon, so there won't be any truce between the clans."

"But it's important!" Squirrelpaw insisted. Surely the clans could put aside their nonsense when their own lives depended on it.

"It's worth a try." Brambleclaw decided. Squirrelpaw flashed him a gracious beam. "Squirrelpaw's right. That might be the best way to share the news."

"Okay." Crowpaw monotoned, "We'll meet at Fourtrees tomorrow night. With or without our leaders."

"You can't meet at Fourtrees!" Squirrelpaw groaned as she turned back to the impatient scowl of Webfoot, then his words caught her like prey. "There's nothing left of it!"

A terrifying silence took hold of the journeying cats. Squirrelpaw's entire bloodstream turned to dark ice.

"What do you mean?" Tawnypelt took a heavy step towards the Windclan cat.

Webfoot's glare darkened, trouble edging into his face. "The clans watched the Twolegs destroy it moonrises ago, when we arrived at the Gathering. The Twolegs and their monsters ripped the trees from their roots!"

Images ripped across Squirrelpaw, the trees she had sat by so many times torn apart like they were just blades of grass. Midnight was right, destruction was on the clan's path, and they needed to get away quickly!

"Go see it for yourselves, if you're mouse-brained enough!" Webfoot meowed nastily. His glare twisted back to his returned clanmate. "Are you done?"

"Almost." Crowpaw mewed, he too looked despaired by the news. They all were. Squirrelpaw's mind was in a frantic push and shove. Her loyalty screaming at her to find her family as soon as possible, but something deeper keeping her rooted where she stood. "I still think we should meet there, even if the trees are gone."

That sounded fine. Squirrelpaw certainly wouldn't argue. The other's also shared an agreed mrrow.

Crowpaw nodded once, then slowly his eyes were on Squirrelpaw.

The two friends looked at each other, silently. A wounded sensation came over the Thunderclan molly. She was so used to seeing those eyes on a morning, full of life and joy. Now they were distant and dryly grazing her. Had he also realised what this meant for their friendship?

Even if they met again tomorrow, it wouldn't be any cause for joy.

Those times were over, Squirrelpaw realised, sadness filling her. Reality truly was pulling them back into place.

This moment was the last chance they would have to act like real friends.

Squirrelpaw braced herself to remember it. She stepped forward, ready for whatever Crowpaw had planned. The beautiful blue eyes looked at her tensely, his neck fur prickling a little, but the dark tom approached her.

Squirrelpaw offered him a smile, ready to embrace him.

The side of his muzzle lingered against hers.

In half a second it was breaking away.

In the next half a second, Squirrelpaw didn't have any control of herself. A brief touch, a passive brush, that was going to be their farewell. She thought of all those moments he had been by her side, laughing, crying, being her closest partner every step of the journey. She thought of the devastated state she had seen him in for days, and how after this he would be left alone like that.

He would be left alone with that empty look still plastered on him.

That would be their goodbye.

This would be the moment she thought of whenever she saw him.

Empty. Alone.

No.

He wasn't alone. He wouldn't be now. Squirrelpaw still had that much power.

She hadn't realised what she'd done until her paws were wrapped tenderly around his neck. She breathed him in, trying to hold onto all of him, as her nose pressed into the crook of his neck. She could just imagine how the others were looking at her, but she didn't care. She didn't care about their unfair rules. Crowpaw was he friend, that would never change. "Take care of yourself." She mewed into his ear, beginning to nuzzle into his neck fur.

Then she noticed how stiff Crowpaw was in her grasp, how his paws had slid over her forelegs, gently pushing them off of him. The shock that paralysed Squirrelpaw made her let herself effortlessly uncurl from him. "Squirrelpaw," A dry voice said, "You need to go back to Thunderclan, okay?"

It wasn't a question. It was a goodbye.

Once her paws had weakly found the ground again, she stared up wordlessly at her friend, her eyes wide with dreaded disbelief. Her heart truly broke when she saw that empty stare again. The light in the blue was gone, overtaken by a cold, misanthropic aridity. He meowed a quiet, "Good luck," to them all, and then all Squirrelpaw saw was the dark shape of his back until he had finally disappeared over the hills.

He was gone now.

He hadn't even paused once to look back.

Squirrelpaw didn't even feel reality's claws on her neck anymore.

It had been replaced by true, heartbroken horror.

Squirrelpaw didn't stop staring until Brambleclaw nudged her. She softly looked at his sympathetic gaze, her mouth still frozen open. "Let's go." He mewed.

Quietly, Squirrelpaw obeyed. Her eyes trailed over to the hills again, but they were barren and cold in the air. The grass swayed gently in the growing breeze. A memory came back of tall grass; of her and Crowpaw entangled, pinning each other, laughing, so happily.

The breeze came over Squirrelpaw again, biting and cruel as freezing loss settled itself in her heart.

…

Merry Christmas everyone! Thank you all for filling this year with so much pride and joy for this story! I hope you all have a wonderful new year! Keep safe! (sorry for the angst)