"So," Mudclaw paced away, sniffing. "Let's go over this again."
Crowpaw waited with a dreaded illness in his gut. He knew Mudclaw well enough to know what the gruffness that rumbled in his voice meant. He could practically hear Webfoot shaking his head as an unamused scoff broke the silence.
"You're telling us, that while we've been here, starving, suffering, mourning an apprentice we thought had died!" His teeth snapped, making his apprentice wince. "You've been travelling with cats from another clan, and have come back to tell us that we need to abandon Windclan?" Mudclaw looked back, glaring. "Am I right?"
"No." Crowpaw tried to keep his bravery, if he even showed a hint of cowardice they would never believe him. He met his mentor's eyes, his words rolling gently in his mouth. "We're not abandoning Windclan. We need to build it again, somewhere safe. Somewhere where the Twolegs won't be able to harm us."
Mudclaw swiped his tail like an unsheathed claw, "Have you seen what's happened to Windclan while you've been chasing this 'prophecy'?" He demanded, his back fur quivering with rage. Crowpaw bit on his tongue. He had seen. He could see it all.
What Webfoot said was true. And it was much worse than Crowpaw had dared to think. The moors were ruined; twoleg monsters had left monstrous gashes of mud and dirt around the territory, the crisp air now stinking of dark smoke and bitter earth. Entire hills, hills that Crowpaw had trained with his friends and mentor, had been ripped open like they were nothing but birds' eggs, torn from their roots by growling yellow creatures that screamed with every movement of their thick claws.
Unsurprisingly, the vast amount of prey had fled the territory.
And that showed as well. Crowpaw felt the angry, jealous stares on his lean, but well-fed frame. He tried to stop himself from staring at the starved thin bodies that were bumped with the outline of ribs. But it was hard when each of his clanmates carried the same malnourished figure.
Could he really blame them for being so angry to see him? While he'd been sleeping in a state that he had dared to consider rough, his clanmates had been forced out of their homes and into the stinking, tight, abandoned dens of rabbits. They'd been living like scattered prey.
"Even when all of this was going on," Mudclaw started, "We were still looking for you! Cats almost had to face those monsters themselves because they were so worried about you!" He growled, but his eyes were soft with a betrayed grimace.
Crowpaw kept his head low, feeling the familiar pain of burden blaze over his pelt. "It was not my intention to run away. I was trying to help my clan."
"By sharing tongues with the enemy?" Webfoot scoffed.
"They weren't my enemies." Crowpaw dared to scowl at his clanmate. "We all shared the prophecy, we had to travel together. I never betrayed my clan."
"Then why was that Thunderclan molly crawling over you like a tick? Was that just part of the prophecy?" An accusing, mocking snarl creased Webfoot's tone.
Crowpaw's eyes went wide. Suddenly he could smell her on his fur, and that meant they could smell her as well. His jaw tightened as he resisted the pressing urge to rake his claws over Webfoot's muzzle. He couldn't afford to lose his cool over comments like that anymore.
She couldn't mean anything to him anymore.
Not if he wanted to keep her safe.
"I told you that on the journey we were friends." Crowpaw said calmly, "She was just saying goodbye. I told her to go back to Thunderclan, didn't I?"
"Why would you need to tell her that?" Owlpaw snapped, his eyes narrowing distrustfully.
"She's just… protective."
"Over another clan cat?" Owlpaw laughed humourlessly. "That's a crazy molly."
Something exploded in Crowpaw's chest. He could feel his fangs painfully pinch his cheek as he ground them together. A dark voice commanded him to spring on Owlpaw and connect a series of hard scratches over the mangey cat's smirk.
"Enough!" Mudclaw snapped, his voice scratching the air like a serpent's bite. Several Windclan cats managed to lift their tired heads out of their makeshift dens to glance at what the fuss was about. The bickering cats soon held their tongues, quelled by their deputy's authority. "I'm not interested in hearing about some Thunderclan cat! We have our own problems to deal with!"
Webfoot and Owlpaw's tails lashed crossly, but they didn't dare speak up.
"Owlpaw! Go and see to the elders, you're not needed here!" Mudclaw said.
The apprentice's back prickled, "But I-"
"Now!" Mudclaw's eyes flashed.
Owlpaw looked to Webfoot for help, but the older tom only shrugged and whipped his tail to his back. Owlpaw groaned, casting Crowpaw another glare before he pounded away, muttering angrily.
The appreciation Crowpaw felt for his mentor evaporated when Mudclaw stormed down the hillface, his paws clawing through dry grass and thistle patches, they really had had to make do with any land they could find. "How do you expect all of Windclan to travel like this? The best of us are starving, the worst of us can't even move. We've had to prioritise so much of our prey for our elders and the Queens whose kits are screaming more and more for milk every day! Do you realise how lucky we are that we've had so little deaths?"
Crowpaw hung his head. His clan was truly in the worst state they'd ever been. "I understand, Mudclaw. But we haven't got a choice." Crowpaw meowed. "The Twolegs are just going to destroy more land! We need to leave before it gets worse!"
"And you expect us to just go without a plan? Do you even know where we're meant to go?"
"That's why I need to see Tallstar! The cats chosen for the journey are all bringing their leaders to Fourtrees tonight so we can see the instructions of the dying Warrior! Then we can all find out what to do!"
Mudclaw's bristled with scandal, "Are you mouse-brained? We don't need the other clans help!" His muzzle scrunched back, as if chewing on poison. "Windclan will be fine without their interruptions!"
Crowpaw's jaw opened in shock. Was Mudclaw really that proud that he would refuse help when their clan was like this? Even Webfoot, though his gaze remained hostile, dropped it momentarily with a troubled shake of his tail. "Mudclaw, you can't be serious! Look around you!"
Mudclaw slammed a paw down, his lips rumbling as he hissed. "Watch your tone! I don't need to look around, Crowpaw! Unlike you, I've been here to see what my clan needs!"
Immediately, Crowpaw sank back on his haunches, his tail flattening to the ground. He knew better than to show resistance when Mudclaw was like this.
"You may have forgotten your duties while you were gallivanting off with the other clans, but every cat here has seen what Windclan needs right now! And that is protection! Not a trek off into some direction you don't even know!"
"We'll all know it when the dying warrior instructs the clans." Crowpaw said, gently raising his head.
Maybe satisfied by Crowpaw's submission, Mudclaw drew back with a sigh. "How do you know that such a thing will even happen?"
"The prophecy hasn't been wrong so far." With a heavy look, Crowpaw looked down again. No matter how much he wished, the prophecies he'd heard had all been true.
Whether he didn't see the change in his apprentice's expression, or if he just didn't care, Mudclaw shook his head. "Yes, well your prophecies hadn't put us all at risk before." His face was stony on the younger cat.
"Are we not at risk now?" Crowpaw couldn't help but spit, scowling at his own paws.
The threats he'd seen. That they'd all seen. He knew risks; he'd faced them for his clan.
He didn't want to be lectured on danger right now. Not after what he'd faced.
Mudclaw growled again, "At least here we're-"
"Crowpaw!"
The cats all looked up! Crowpaw with a daring excitement! He knew that voice! He peered over the tattered hills and felt warmth burst in his heart at the face of his mother. She broke away from the returning hunting group, dropping a small mouse from her jaws as she sprinted towards her son. Behind her, Tallstar and Onewhisker stared at her, briefly puzzled, before they noticed her target and their faces also burst with surprise.
Crowpaw stood up, not even needing to take a step forward before he caught his mother's scent. With her speed, Crowpaw had his head pressed against hers within moments of seeing her again. He hadn't realised just how much he'd missed his mother. Ever since he'd returned to the clans, this was the first reunion that felt like it was worth it.
Ashfoot ran a gentle tongue over her son's head. Crowpaw blushed, but he said nothing. He could bear a little embarrassment this time. "Thank Starclan! I was so worried!" Ashfoot purred, her throat stiff with emotion. She broke away, and her happiness iced. "Where were you?! You were missing for moons! I thought you'd…" She scoffed to the side, staring down expectantly.
Ashfoot's tone was hard to take, but her state was even worse. Her usually sleek coat was unkempt and musty with dirt, and her firm body had thinned terribly. It must have been days since she'd last eaten.
"Yes, tell her where you went Crowpaw." Mudclaw hissed, walking over to where Tallstar was approaching. "I'm sure you have a good reason."
Crowpaw narrowed his eyes at his mentor's back, then returned to his mother with an apologetic mew. "I'm sorry, Ashfoot." He dipped his head respectfully, "I didn't mean to worry you."
"You disappeared without a trace!" Ashfoot cried, "What do you mean, you didn't mean to worry me? I was looking for you for days!"
"We all were." A stony voice echoed. Crowpaw stiffened, slowly facing his leader. Tallstar slowly came to the apprentice, his tail dragging. "You gave us all quite a fright, Crowpaw." The tom scolded. He walked close to the side of Onewhisker and let out a muted grunt as he forced himself ahead of the tom. A chill ran across Crowpaw at the worry in Onewhiskers's face. "I hope you have a good explanation!" Tallstar uttered with a raise of his brow, "As you can see, things have changed a little!"
Crowpaw shrank away at the anger of his leader. No cat wanted to face that. "I-I'm sorry, Tallstar. But what's happening now actually has to do with why I left?"
"What?" Onewhisker meowed, his muzzle crinkling.
"Really?" Tallstar questioned, his glare not softening. "Then please explain?"
Before Crowpaw could even speak, Mudstar cut ahead with a grunt. "He had a dream, that's what happened. And now he's expecting Windclan to move away from this land."
The younger tom's eyes burst open; he shook his head desperately. "No, that isn't the whole story!"
"It's the end all of what you're saying." Mudclaw hissed.
"Leave Windclan?" Ashfoot meowed, her eyes glazed over her son, concerned more than anything. "Crowpaw, is this true?"
"I-I…" Crowpaw took a breath. He needed to explain this carefully. What Mudclaw had said had a layer of truth, even if it was deliberately condescending. "It wasn't a dream; it was a vision."
"A vision in a dream." Webfoot whispered to somecat. Crowpaw cast him a burning glare.
"You had a vision about us needing to leave Windclan?" Onewhisker queried, "How does that explain why you left all those moons ago? Could you not tell any Warrior about something like that?"
"He most likely thought that no sensible Warrior would believe him." Mudclaw spat. He shrugged, "He wasn't wrong. If he had told me that then, I would have had second thoughts about recommending his Warrior's ceremony."
That stung.
Whatever Crowpaw thought he would say next died in his throat. No cat believed him; it was clear as day. They wouldn't even let him say anything! His clan was being torn apart, he was the only one who knew why and what they had to do, he had almost died for them, and yet they still dismissed him like he was some useless kit.
The worst part was, he didn't think he could blame them.
If he had not received the vision, if he had not travelled as far as he had, would he have believed any cat who said something like he had just done.
He cringed at the answer.
"Mudclaw!" Ashfoot stepped forward with a snarl, "That is not called for!" Crowpaw's heart tightened with fright. Was Ashfoot really going to challenge her deputy for Crowpaw's sake?
His admiration was overshadowed by his worry for his mother.
What if she ended up punished? She was a good Warrior; every cat knew that. Her reputation shouldn't be damaged for his sake.
Mudclaw didn't flinch, if anything he scoffed. "You wait until you hear his whole story, then tell me if you're still thinking that?"
"Stop this at once!" Tallstar yowled. His growling darkened over them all. Ashfoot dropped her head bashfully while Mudstar stepped away, his cold gaze not dimming. "Do you all think we have the time for this pointless quarrelling?!" Before he could say something else, the tom's face filled with a cold pain, and his long legs seemed to sink. Swiftly, Onewhisker rushed forward, using his body to steady his leader.
Tallstar coughed, raggedly, and Crowpaw just now saw how much worse the leader was compared to the rest of them, if that was possible. He looked more bone than flesh. His legs that were once proud and strong twitched and shivered with every cough that rattled out of the tom.
Crowpaw could only watch in silent, terrified, apprehension as his leader spat onto the ground, gasped a few raspy breaths, then slowly rose back to his feet with the help of Onewhisker.
Mudclaw took one step forward to help his leader, only to be ordered back by a swift lash of Tallstar's tail. The deputy paused, his lips thinning as he watched Onewhisker support his leader.
"I asked for Crowpaw to explain." Tallstar indicated, raising himself as tall as he could. "And I expect all of you to give him the time to do that. I will be the judge on whether it's worth listening to or not." He said with a biting edge to his voice.
Crowpaw blinked unsteadily, watching his clanmates look between themselves. They soon followed Tallstar's patient look towards the apprentice. Crowpaw took a breath, not knowing whether to be grateful or tense.
"Now," Tallstar took a step away from Onewhisker, "What exactly was this vision Crowpaw?"
Crowpaw straightened himself, making sure to look his leader in the eyes. "It happened the night before I left. Dead-" Another dream pulsed in Crowpaw's mind, making him flinch. Quickly holding back his own guilt and stuttering breaths, he spoke clearly. "Deadfoot was there. He told me that the clans were in danger and that chosen cats from each clan would need to travel together to find Midnight."
Crowpaw was surprised when he saw the scepticism drain from his leader's face. "Deadfoot?" Tallstar gasped, "You're saying you received a vision from Starclan."
"I am."
The cats all looked between each other again, each looked equally shocked, except Mudclaw who's muzzle remained stiff, and Ashfoot who's gaze bore on Crowpaw with a hint of sadness. Crowpaw met it with a slow nod.
"I know it sounds crazy, I thought it was as well." Crowpaw explained, "But it was true, I met with the other chosen cats, each had received a similar vision, and we decided to go to where our ancestors told us to go to find Midnight. The Sun-Drown Place."
"You travelled with the other clans?" Onewhisker meowed, his eyes narrowing.
Crowpaw kept his head low so his anger wasn't obvious. "Yes. It was what we were all meant to do."
"Who were they?"
The faces of his friends flickered in Crowpaw's head and he cursed, remembering that this wasn't meant to hurt so much. "Tawnypelt of Shadowclan, Brambleclaw of Thunderclan, and…" That face would not leave, and it made him shiver, it made his throat hurt as he spoke. "Feathertail of Riverclan. She died on the journey."
Perhaps his clanmates noticed something in his voice, or maybe he did truly look terrible, as no cat spoke for a quiet moment. Crowpaw hated the quiet. It left him alone with the thought of Feathertail, left him reminded how she should have come home instead of him.
Of course, the silence didn't last. Because, as expected, his clanmates didn't care about the loss of other clan cats.
"They were all Warriors then?" Webfoot spoke up, his voice thin. Crowpaw quivered, furious at the disregard of the death he'd mentioned. But the tom soon shattered as he realised Webfoot's implication. "Why did Deadfoot choose an apprentice if this mission was so important?"
Crowpaw felt the words bury him. He didn't need to look to know that each of the cats were questioning the same thing. They would all soon blame it on underserving blood.
Crowpaw blamed it on a mistake.
"I don't know." He lied softly.
"Are you trying to say something, Webfoot?" Ashfoot demanded, her blue eyes flickered dangerously. Ashfoot whipped his tail defiantly, but he still took a step back. Even the strongest warriors knew better than to challenge Ashfoot when she was ready for a fight.
"Be quiet!" Tallstar shouted, halting any fight that could break out. "The next one of you who interrupts Crowpaw will be cleaning rabbit dirt out of the dens! Carry on, Crowpaw."
Crowpaw did go on. He explained the journey and its events as quickly and efficiently as he could. He left out some parts, mostly to do with the cats he'd been among. Windclan only needed to know about what would affect them. True to Tallstar's threat, no cat did end up speaking again. But they stared, they stared harder and harder with every word Crowpaw said. But the apprentice focused only on his leader, on Tallstar's concentrated, fascinated eyes. When he had finally finished, every cat was silent with shock. Crowpaw didn't dare speak further, he'd said what he needed to. Now he needed to pray that he could be of some use, and that they would believe him enough.
Every cat seemed to have something to say about what they'd been told, their mouths twitched as they hid their silent screams for validation. They all kept patient. They had to wait for their leader to speak; this was his call.
"The other clans know about this?" Tallstar asked quietly.
Crowpaw nodded, twitching as his paws began to grow hot. "The other cats should be telling their leaders when they get back to their clans. Hopefully they can convince them to go to Fourtrees tonight."
The apprentice realised his mistake when he heard some cat scoff bitterly. He couldn't tell who it was. There was no Fourtrees anymore.
There wouldn't be much of anything if they stayed here.
"Should we tell Windclan about this?" Onewhisker asked warily.
"Are you mouse-brained?" Mudclaw gawked. "We have enough to worry about as it is! We can't frighten them more over something foolish like this!"
"What do you mean foolish?" Onewhisker snapped, "Did you not hear Crowpaw? If he's right, that means the Twolegs are going to destroy the clans! We have to prepare ourselves!" Crowpaw lifted his head, relieved that somecat was taking him seriously.
"Prepare ourselves? By walking off when half our clan hasn't eaten in a moon? This will cause more trouble, not less!"
Trouble. Crowpaw shivered.
"We can take care of those who need it! But if we stay here, those cats will die! "
"Do you think you're a leader now, Onewhisker?" Mudclaw sneered, "Don't speak like you know Windclan's future! We're strong! We've made it through danger before, we can do it again." His muzzle drew back with a growl. "Without the help of the other clans."
"What?" Onewhisker cried, "Mudclaw, don't be a fool! If the entire forest is going to be destroyed, of course the clans will need to work together for now!"
"You want us to appear weak?"
"It isn't weakness, it's survival!"
Mudclaw spat out a toxic laugh, "Ha! You twist your words very well, Onewhisker! Of course, it makes sense why you'd have no trouble working with our rivals. We all know your history with Thunderclan."
Crowpaw blinked. What did that mean? He watched as Onewhisker stared in shock, then as that shock transformed into fury, the wiry tom making a hostile hiss. "Are you accusing me of being disloyal?"
Mudclaw tensed his paws, the faintest shimmer of his claws flashing. "I'm simply stating-"
"Mudclaw." Tallstar's voice burst up like the cold swish of a snake's tail. His eyes were down with thought, but his long ears were up with tense impatience. He was not in any kind of mood to be stirred. "Be quiet and let me think."
The Deputy's claws slowly retreated back, his face stiff with the hurt of a kit being scolded by an elder. Wordlessly, Mudclaw sat back down, his tail slumped over the grass, his face ridged with faint betrayed embarrassment. Onewhisker didn't take the moment as a victory, it seemed, as he looked away with a wary cough.
Crowpaw was astounded at how easily the ill-tempered tom submitted. But then again, this was a leader's command. He swallowed, knowing that if fate showed him the same kindness it always had, Tallstar would be even worse with him.
The leader looked up his amber eyes were sunken with exhaustion. He peered to the sky as if it would answer his own thoughts, and Crowpaw saw how grey the once proud white chest had become. Crowpaw's stomach began to sink, all it would take was one word from Tallstar and Windclan's leave could be denied. Eventually he looked down again, "You said this meeting was tonight?"
Crowpaw almost choked on his breath. "Y-Yes."
"And will every clan attend?"
Uneasily, Crowpaw spoke honestly. "I don't know."
Tallstar nodded, the movement looked as if he was balancing a stone on his muzzle. His eyes whipped from side to side. Over his clan, Crowpaw realised. Tallstar inhaled softly, and when he spoke it was even softer. "Well, we will."
Every cat looked at Tallstar at that. Crowpaw's jaw went heavy with disbelief. Relief seeped through his scepticism as he saw the finality of honesty in his leader's face. Tallstar actually believed him.
It was even more shocking to those who didn't.
"Tallstar!" Mudclaw stepped forward, his pelt bristling. He took in a deep, angry breath. "Are you sure that's necessary?"
Tallstar frowned at his deputy, but he didn't look offended by the question. "I am. If the clans are to move, I will need to discuss it with the other leaders."
"Move? B-But Tallstar, how can we just leave our territory? Shouldn't this be more of a last resort for Windclan? We don't even know if this new territory Crowpaw is talking about exists."
"He received a message from Starclan. I see no reason why they would lie to us." Tallstar's ears lowered, "Do you really believe your apprentice would make something like this up?"
Mudclaw cast Crowpaw a narrow look, "I'm not saying that. He has certainly gone far." There was a sarcastic tremor in his tone that made Crowpaw sigh. "I'm just concerned about the well-being of Windclan."
"Mudclaw, look around you." Onewhisker meowed desperately, "With all due respect, it looks like we are doomed either way. At least with Starclan's message we have a chance of saving Windclan."
Crowpaw was awed by the assurance in Onewhisker's voice. He seemed to be ready to take on anything, even a dream, if it was for the safety of his clan. He was placing his complete trust in an apprentice. Crowpaw felt embarrassed that he wasn't more honoured by this.
"Yes or dooming us." Mudclaw said quietly, he was still taken aback by how Tallstar had not taken his side. He was the Deputy; his word was meant to be the one a leader trusted. But that leader wasn't even stirred by his complaints. Clearly, his pride had been damaged.
Mudclaw let out a bitter grunt, desperately looking to Tallstar. "If we go there, the other clans will discover what's going on in Windclan. We already looked weak when we had to ask Riverclan for water, we'll look even worse now! It will seem like we're begging the clans for help!"
The apprentice pursed his lips. In a way, he could understand what Mudclaw was saying. The last thing he wanted was to make his clan appear vulnerable. But at the same time, Windclan truly did need help if they were going to make it to their new home. They couldn't do this alone.
Tallstar huffed, "Mudclaw, I think we can survive a little humility if it for the clan's sake!" He took a small glance over the hills and his tired eyes dimmed further. "At this time, we can't afford to be prideful. Windclan has joined with the clans in times of trouble before, there's no shame in partnership if it benefits us all."
The leader spoke in such a clear, direct manner that it seemed that every word he said was the pure truth. Crowpaw wondered if that was just how a cat sounded when they were a leader. Hopefully the rest of Windclan would be assured by that tone.
Mudclaw was practically speechless. His tail swirled in complete frenzy, trying hard to come up with an excuse. "Can we not wait longer for this meeting, though? It's still possible we will be able to get by."
Now Crowpaw wasn't afraid to speak up even though it meant that Mudclaw's rage whirled onto him. "No. It has to be tonight."
Tallstar pressed himself up tall, "My mind is made up." He meowed with a fiery clarity. The anger cooled in Mudclaw as the impact of Tallstar's words hit him like sharp claws. The Windclan leader gazed over at Crowpaw, "We'll leave at moonhigh, and then we'll decide what to do from here. We'll have to wait and see what the other clans think." He grimaced a little, "Somehow I can't see Leopardstar or Blackstar agreeing to this easily."
Confusion came over Crowpaw at the unsettled tone of his leader, but it was strongly outweighed by his relief that Tallstar had accepted his story. There was some hope for Windclan after all. Crowpaw allowed himself to sit down, letting the weight leave his body in a cool sigh.
If the cats around them had any complaints, they were silent. Thankfully both Ashfoot and Onewhisker looked pleased by their leader's decision, and Webfoot did not openly seem discouraged, even though that could be because he didn't want to go against his leader.
Mudclaw didn't hide his dissatisfaction. His tail thundered against the dry grass, cracking the earth with angry swipes. Clearly he knew not to scowl at his leader, so the burning orbs bored beneath him. His muzzle shifted and broke open, hissing breaths cutting out of him. "Tallstar, I don't think this is-"
"Mudclaw." Tallstar swiped his head towards his deputy, brow furrowed, and stare pointed. He was clearly straining to keep his tone settled. "I respect that you have concerns, and you know that I value your opinion. But right now, I do not want to hear about petty rivalries with the other clans. We need to keep our trust for know if we want Windclan to keep strong."
At 'petty', Crowpaw saw Mudclaw's paws tense. The deputy took in a breath, "Trust? How can we trust them?" His voice quivered with a strained anger, "Riverclan clearly don't trust us if they were so willing to believe lies! How can we expect the other clans to be different?"
A bewildered feeling entered Crowpaw. What did that mean? Had something happened with Riverclan? When he'd left he thought they'd been on good terms? It was hard to think that Riverclan would go against their word so easily.
Especially after…
Coldness swelled over the tom again. Not every cat was like her.
Tallstar sighed again, "Leopardstar is a proud leader, but she cares for Riverclan. If this is true, she'll need to cooperate, just like all of us will."
"But Tallstar-"
"No." Tallstar ordered, making Mudclaw snap shut and glare down again. Tallstar's long tail swerved hotly for a moment, as if waiting, but nothing else came. "I said my mind was made up, and that is that. We need to take this chance."
Mudclaw did not argue, but he did not relinquish. He lay in his own thoughts, his eyes shadowed as they stared down.
Tallstar settled back, hard eyes drifting to and fro from Mudclaw, contemplative. "That's all. Go and check on the other patrols, we need to see if we need to send out another patrol for prey."
Mudclaw looked up and his eyes were hot with wounded pride, but he nodded his head. "Yes, Tallstar." He turned away with a silent gnash of his jaws that only Crowpaw could see. His mentor stared briefly at Crowpaw, all his rage finding a target for a moment. The venomous stare made Crowpaw look away, shame coating him again, but he heard the silent hiss as Mudclaw stormed off. "You mean your mind has been made up for you."
A vicious anxiety splintered the apprentice as he heard the fury in that whisper. His eyes hollowed as he realised his foolishness. He couldn't take any relief from Tallstar's decision. Even If they left, there would always be cats like Mudclaw who doubted this journey. Doubted Crowpaw. And that would not soon be forgotten.
If a leader and their deputy were on opposite sides, how would Windclan be able to cope? Before, Tallstar's calm clarity and Muclaw's quick decisions seemed to work like the sun and moon over Windclan, opposite but aligned. But now, they were at threat of colliding.
Crowpaw worried for Windclan. He wondered if the disbelieving cats would have been more easily tempted if it wasn't him who had told this prophecy. Crowpaw became vaguely aware of the stink of Twoleg machines. It seemed to be growing more potent.
The worry for his clan was becoming throttling.
Like a kit, Crowpaw disgracefully yearned for someone who could tell him that his was worrying over nothing. That everything would be alright.
But they wouldn't come. One was never coming back, and the other was better off never seeing him again.
It didn't keep him from missing them though.
"Should I alert the rest of Windclan then?" Onewhisker mewed, stepping besides Tallstar.
The black and white tom mewed drearily, "No. Let's find out what the rest of the clans have to say first. It'll be easier if we have a clear plan to tell Windclan." Onewhisker nodded swiftly, which made Tallstar relax a little. "Onewhisker, will you take out another patrol?"
"Of course."
"Thank you. Take Crowpaw with you, it'll do him good to see where out boundaries remain for the time being." Onewhisker nodded again. Tallstar exhaled tiredly, then he turned to face Crowpaw. "I do wish you had told us where you were going. You had many cats terrified, young one."
Crowpaw pulled himself from his regretful thoughts to face his leader. He blinked slowly, nodding his head in submission. "Sorry Tallstar. But Deadfoot told me that it was best for Windclan that I kept it to myself."
At that, Crowpaw was shocked when he heard Tallstar chuckle softly, "Of course he would." There was a light smile to his lips, he found that same smile on Ashfoot and they shared a playful gaze. "He always did know best, didn't he?"
Ashfoot mrrowed with laughter, "Oh Tallstar, you don't know the half of it." Her eyes glinted with memory.
"I'm sure I wouldn't want to." He mewed, before he regained his natural fortitude. "Anyway, go check that the apprentices are keeping well. We'll need them to be strong if we are to journey." Ashfoot gave a brisk mrrow of agreement.
Tallstar dipped his head before he began to pad away, he stopped beside Crowpaw for a moment. The apprentice peered up to his leader anxiously, but warm amber eyes mellowed over him. A long tail patted Crowpaw's pelt gently, "You were brave to accept this duty though. Your father was a great deputy to me and an honourable Windclan cat. I'm sure he knows you have a bright future ahead of you."
The words were as smooth and warm as honey, they were words any apprentice would be privileged to hear. If he was any other cat, Crowpaw would be overjoyed.
But he knew better. He knew what wrong choices had been made.
Crowpaw would fight for his clan, but that didn't make him special. It just made him another Warrior.
His loyalty had done no good before.
He thanked Tallstar, but he knew the words were empty.
After Tallstar had padded off, Crowpaw felt a smooth lick on his forehead. He tried to pull away but Ashfoot held him close, grooming him all the more. "Ashfoot." He muttered. The ice in his stomach was still numbingly cold, but it thawed at his mother's love.
"You've kept pretty clean." Ashfoot mewed, smirking down at him. "I'm impressed. Or have the other clans found out what a fuss you are?"
"Ashfoot!" He grumbled, his face heating up.
Onewhisker watched patiently, hiding his own smirk. He turned to Webfoot, who was currently washing his paw absently. "Webfoot, do you want to join me and Crowpaw on the patrol?"
Webfoot shrugged, "Sure." He frowned a little. "We may need another warrior though?" Crowpaw wasn't sure if that was meant to be a taunt but he took it as one. "I'll fetch Nightcloud." He meowed before pouncing off.
Crowpaw stiffened in his mother's grip, "Nightcloud?" He gasped, "Nightpaw received her Warrior ceremony?"
Ashfoot finished grooming his neck, spitting out fragments of dirt. "Yes. Not soon after you left. Thankfully for her, it was just before we had to abandon camp."
A soft breath of shock exited the apprentice. He'd figured that Nightpaw had been close to becoming a Warrior, she'd been sure to tease him about it in training all the time, but it wasn't like she didn't deserve it. Even if she wasn't the fastest when it came to hunting, her strength was unmatchable to the other apprentice's. When her teeth caught a rabbit's back, it wasn't escaping without ripping a good deal of flesh.
He still remembered practicing combat with her for the first time. He'd taken her curved, fluffy appearance for granted, thinking it would be an easy fight. Needless to say, it was the shock of one paw sending him to the ground that kept him down rather than the pain. She'd held that over him for a long time. But he supposed he deserved that.
"I'm sure yours will come soon enough." Ashfoot cooed, releasing Crowpaw.
Crowpaw smiled thinly, "There are more important things to worry about than that."
Both Ashfoot and Onewhisker shared a baffled look. "Are you sure this is your son, Ashfoot?" Onewhisker perplexed with an amused purr.
This time, Crowpaw didn't appreciate the humour. Nothing about this was funny.
Ashfoot looked impressed, proud even. "That's exactly why you will become a great Warrior." She gingerly licked his shoulder, and Crowpaw couldn't help but ease into his mother's fur. She was soft.
Soft.
Another cat burst into his mind and Crowpaw pulled away with a silent hiss.
What was wrong with him?
He raked his brain for something to say and found his question from earlier. "What did Mudclaw mean about Riverclan not trusting us?"
Ashfoot and Onewhisker both visibly dragged their eyes, frustrated and slightly angry. "Riverclan has refused to let us drink from the river anymore." Onewhisker growled.
"What?" Crowpaw cried, his fur bristling in horror. "Leopardstar gave us her word! What happened?" Tallstar had sucked in his pride to ask Leopardstar for her help. He'd made it clear how desperate Windclan was for that water! And now, they needed it more than ever.
The brown tom scowled to his side, "According to one of their cats, we were stealing prey from their territory. More than we had ever needed."
Crowpaw's stomach tightened. It was true that Windclan had stolen some prey, but only a little, and the only cats who knew about it where Thunderclan, he knew that Brambeclaw and Squirrelflight wouldn't have said anything. "Who was it?"
"One of those outsiders who showed up a few moons ago; Hawkfrost, wasn't it?" Ashfoot asked Onewhisker. He nodded, a snarl growing at the mention of the name.
Hawkfrost. Crowpaw could just about picture the large brown tom from the gathering where he and his sister had joined Riverclan. He'd not thought too much about them. But now Crowpaw felt a surge of anger for the tom. He knew Onewhisker wouldn't lie to him about stealing more prey than they had, so that meant that the accusations had been entirely false!
Why would that mange-pelt lie to Leopardstar like that? Had he not seen how much Windclan needed that water? Or was this some trouble he wanted to start? A thousand questions roared in Crowpaw's mind, all making him angrier and angrier!
"How long have we been without water?" Crowpaw asked, seething.
"Around a quarter-moon." Onewhisker admitted with a tired contempt.
"Starclan above." Crowpaw gasped, horrified. Even the strongest Warriors struggled that long without hydration. His clan had been right, they'd been extremely lucky to not lose more cats than they already had.
"If we're honest," Onewhisker mewed quietly, "It won't be long before things become dangerous." His eyes were nervous on the apprentice. Pleading almost. "I don't know how much of this prophecy is true, but you're right about one thing, Crowpaw. We can't stay here."
He was right. They couldn't. But Crowpaw had no pleasure in knowing that Onewhisker put so much faith in him. He just thought about how terrible things truly were, how much worse things had become.
How useless he'd been to his clan.
He was fed, healthy, clean. His clanmates had only grown weaker and weaker.
Even when he'd come back, his news wasn't certain to help anycat. Mudclaw was right, cats could certainly die on this journey, and Crowpaw couldn't do anything to stop it. The hunger and thirst was already strangling them all, and the journey Crowpaw had faced didn't stop any of that.
He needed to help his clan. For once.
He didn't want any more deaths on his paws. If that happened, there was no denying how much of a hinderance he truly was, that he already knew he was.
He had to fight for his clan, break his body for his clan. He was the one who deserved to suffer, not them. He had to do everything he could, even if it killed him.
Maybe even that would be a help in the end.
He felt Ashfoot give him a loving, undeserved press on his side. "Don't worry. Every bit of care is going towards caring for those who need it. And now that you're back to help, things can only get better."
Crowpaw sucked in a tight breath, "I'll do whatever Windclan needs me to do." Ashfoot purred in reply, then she drifted her gaze to the side. Crowpaw followed it and found Webfoot walking back to them, an amazed black molly at his side.
"So, you really did come back?" Nightcloud meowed. Her new title seemed to glow around her, making her look broader, more defined. Her pink eyes bored into his, it was hard to tell if she was happy or vexed by his appearance. Her flowing black fur was still on her back.
Crowpaw tried to hide his genuine surprise at how different the molly looked. That fur that once made her looked sluggish and lazy now surged with power and resilience. "It's good to see you, Nightcloud." He said, trying to be respectful. "Congratulations on your Warrior name."
Nightcloud rose a brow, her maw opening in bemusement. "Really, that's all you have to say? You've been gone for moons?"
Crowpaw dropped his gaze, embarrassed. "I know."
Nightcloud's eyes narrowed slightly, "You left just when we all thought you were about to get your Warrior ceremony." She huffed, a low drawl to her voice. "I thought we'd have become Warriors at the same time. Where were you?"
The apprentice did his best to show apology in his gaze. "It's a long story." He spilled, his tail dipping low.
Nightcloud scoffed, "With how long you've been gone, I'm sure it is."
"Nightcloud." Onewhisker warned.
The black molly slid her gaze to the tom, and her eyes softened. She sighed, looking back to Crowpaw with a small smile. "Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter." She padded up with her chest puffed out, "Because now, you're the apprentice here!" She chortled a little when she saw Crowpaw glare at her. "That means you have to take orders from me!"
"No, it doesn't!"
"That's what you always said!" She smirked. Crowpaw groaned, cursing himself. Once she was close enough, Nightcloud pressed her nose against Crowpaw's muzzle, holding it there. Her breath was hot on him, and he caught the gentle purr. "You owe me one, y'know? I spent a lot of time looking for you."
Guiltily, Crowpaw gave her pelt a quick press with his tail. Inside it felt like there were a plethora of butterflies. "I'm sorry." He said simply. He didn't have the right to complain. While he'd been gone, Nightcloud had been here doing everything she could to help Windclan. Even as she shone with a Warrior's title, Crowpaw could see that she too was starved.
The butterflies quelled with the ice. Even when she was weaker than him, Nightcloud was stronger than Crowpaw had ever been.
The molly looked surprised by his remorse, maybe even concerned. Crowpaw sighed again. "Doesn't matter now." Nightcloud meowed softly, she offered the tom a light smile, "Make it up to me when we get back. I want to hear about where you've been."
"Sure." Crowpaw said, trying to look pleased when really he was disgusted at himself. He knew he had so much to make up for, so much to make right. Explaining his foolishness was the least he could do for her. It seemed to make her happy enough as they followed Webfoot and Onewhisker. Crowpaw kept to the back, observing them, they'd dealt with the hardships he'd ignored, it was time for him to learn what it was like to be Windclan again.
A few steps on, Nightcloud's nose wrinkled as she padded beside Crowpaw. "Webfoot said you'd been with other clans cats."
Crowpaw winced at the phrase 'other clan cats. He knew that she shouldn't, but he did. It seemed to little, too brief of an explanation. But that was his own fault, he knew. They didn't feel like that. They were more. More than him. More than most would ever know.
It was his own fault for getting too attached.
He'd warned himself of that.
He'd have to work on it.
"Yeah." He said, nonchalant, undeterred.
Nightcloud stuck out her tongue, playfully disgusted. "I can tell. Thank Starclan you're home; you need some moor air on your pelt." She nudged him with friendly roughness. "You reek of Thunderclan."
Briefly, the nonchalance faded. Crowpaw's eyes burned, his teeth grit, and his pelt frazzled. Furious as her smiling face came back to him.
Then he remembered himself, remembered this was his own doing, remembered this was how things were, and he calmed down. He apologised, trying not to choke on his words as he agreed with the dark molly.
…
AND I WOULD WRITE 5000 WORDS
AND I WOULD WRITE 5000 MORE
Nah, not really, I was close though. And for those who thought I was slow burning this story before: OH HO HO! You have no idea!
If you liked this chapter, please leave a fave or a review!
And as always, I'll talk to you in a while.