Chapter One - Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good
Growing up every little girl thinks of their dad as a hero. Claire Fuller was no different.
Pastor Jacob Fuller was the sort of father every girl deserved. Patient and kind with a never-ending capacity for forgiveness and understanding. Throughout her childhood, he had been there with a warm smile and a gentle hand. Imparting wisdom with a firm tongue and understanding eyes. Claire had never felt the need to rebel because she had never felt stifled. There hadn't been an urge to push the boundaries because Claire had always understood why they were there.
That didn't mean that she was weak, however.
When she received the phone call that her mother had died and her father was in the hospital from a car crash, she had driven the three and a half hours from Baylor to Bethel without hesitation. Only stopping once to use the restroom and refill the gas tank. Striding into St Mary's wearing patterned socks, cotton boxers, and an oversized T-Shirt she had demanded to see her father with an air of authority that you'd expect from someone in a pantsuit. Not a college student with a sloppy ponytail and glasses falling down her nose.
The pain of it all nearly killed her. Her father was inconsolable. Refusing to get out of bed for days. Her siblings were worse. Scott lashed out in anger, fits and spurts of cruel words followed by remorseful tears. Kate withdrew into herself, barely speaking to anyone unless necessary and avoided eye contact if at all possible. Claire had handled the funeral arrangements alone in the beginning, fielding the visits from well-meaning members of Jacobs congregation and finding nonexistent room in the fridge for yet another casserole.
The day of Jennifer Fuller's funeral, Claire visited her mother's grave alone in the twilight hours. Streaks of red and gold coloring the simple cemetery surrounded only by the sound of cicadas in the early spring warmth. Kneeling beside the soft tilled earth of her grave she had traced the words on her headstone with trembling fingers. She cried harder than anyone had ever done before. She died inside. She buried it.
And then she took care of her family.
At first, her father wouldn't eat. It was a challenge to get him to shower, taking both she and Scott to force him under the spray. Jacob Fuller was broken and lost and riddled with pain. He didn't know how to exist in a world without his wife. His children didn't know how to exist in a world without their mother. But Claire tried.
God, did she try.
Moving back into her childhood bedroom had been hard. Since leaving Bethel three years ago she had carved out a nice little life for herself in Dallas. She was only a few months away from registering for the MCAT, the past few years of hellish pre-med study about to be all worth it. Life had been a tiny studio apartment with a leaky shower head and temperamental air-conditioner, an abundance of tiny cacti and succulents and medical texts, but it had been hers. She was barely twenty-two and here she was playing wife, mother, and sister.
It was a little under six months following the funeral when her father pulled up outside the house in an RV that had seen better days ten years ago. Concerned about the impulse purchase, so out of character for her homebody father, Claire pushed it aside when she noticed that this was the most animated he had been since her mother's death. If a family vacation in that death-trap was what he needed to move forward, then by god she would support him.
There had been the obvious hurdle in the form of Kate. The high school senior adamant in not wanting to sacrifice her teenage experience to live out a lifetime movie. There had been tears and slamming doors and silent treatment for a week. Claire had been equal parts shocked and frustrated.
But in the end, her little sister had accepted her fate with grace and the Fuller family had boarded that rickety RV with nothing but a hope and a prayer and left Bethel behind.
"...and now on a serious note, folks. The Department of Public Safety has just put out an advisory for two men reportedly behind a violent bank robbery in Abilene this morning. They're looking for two males, late twenties, wearing dark blue suits, believed to be armed and dangerous -"
Crackling static filled the RV, cutting off the radio announcer mid-sentence as Jacob Fuller changed the channel. Settling on a gospel station he was quick to sing along to the dulcet tones turned tinny by the speakers that let out small pops every ten minutes. It was the most obvious and poor attempt at nonchalance that Claire had ever witnessed and she couldn't help the pitying look she slanted her father's way from her place in the passenger seat.
Heart-shaped glasses covered the majority of her face as she sprawled in her seat, feet propped up on the dash, basking in the midday sun filtering through the windscreen. Long blonde hair turning to spun gold where it spilled over slender shoulders, Claire had always been described as a southern belle. Much like her sister she was softly featured with pretty pink lips and doe-eyes. Their coloring being the only difference. Claire with her sun-kissed freckled skin while Kate was pale with dark hair that shone red in the sun. Resting against her chest was a small golden cross, the twin to her sisters, the physical representation of their faith.
Across from her, hands firm on the steering wheel at ten and two, her daddy warbled contentedly along to the radio. Blue eyes clear and peering out from below his hat, gray hair combed neatly back and his whiskers neatly trimmed. It was the most content she had seen him in weeks and Claire had no intention of ruining it. Even though she couldn't sing to save her life, Kate and their mother being the songbirds of the family, she still raised her voice and joined him. Cherishing the softness of his face when she did so.
"Shoulda have used some of that collection money for singing lessons, huh Claire-Bear?" He asked with a wry grin.
"I don't think the congregation could stand it, Daddy," Kate piped up from behind them, putting her phone down for the first time since they'd left. Claire was certain that she was texting that Kyle Winthrop boy that she had caught her kissing behind the church last time she came home from college but had yet to voice her suspicions.
Coming to stand between the seats she braced herself on the headrests, Claire craning her neck to gaze up at her from beneath her glasses.
"You want to sit down, Katie?" She asked, already pulling her knees towards her chest and making moves to stand up.
"Please," Kate replied with a twitch of her mouth that could have been mistaken for a smile.
Claire understood her sister's frustrations, she really did. Did Kate believe that Claire had been happy to leave everything behind also? That she hadn't also had a life, friends, responsibilities? But at the end of the day family was most important. Family was who would be there when the chips were down and there was nowhere else to turn but Jesus. She owed it to her father to do this for him. After years of giving and giving of himself, it was his turn to be a little bit selfish.
Gently squeezing down on her father's shoulder as she moved into the RV proper, Claire dropped down onto the couch directly behind the driver's seat. Bracing herself against the rhythmic swaying of the RV Claire made eye-contact with where Scott sprawled over the table down the back of the vehicle. Headphones on Scott screwed up his face at her, grinning widely at the resulting giggle it elicited. Lifting up her thumb Claire silently asked if he was okay, shrugging when he waggled a thumb back in return.
Ever since her parents had brought Scott home a few months following Kate's ninth birthday, Claire had been in love. This little golden-skinned bean with a shock of black hair and large dark eyes that would blink up at her beneath the folds of his eyelids. Jacob had explained that they had adopted him and something within Claire had resonated with that boy. The thirteen-year-old had locked eyes with that seven-year-old who spoke broken English and hid behind her mother's skirts and all she could think was: mine.
The very next day she had marched to Bethel public library and checked out all of the books they had on learning Mandarin.
Raised voices caught their attention and Claire turned her head back to the front of the RV, her father singing a little bit more loudly as Kate scowled.
"Yeah, right. No thanks!"
The chime of a phone going off cut through all the noise and Claire keenly watched as Kate checked her phone, taking care to angle the screen away from their father. Of course, this only made her actions more suspicious and Claire resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her younger sisters antics. The Winthrop boy wasn't even that cute. Skinny and pale and in need of a good haircut, Claire didn't think it was worth the risk Kate was taking messing around with him.
"Who's that?"
Looked as though her father's eyes were just as keen, even while driving down the dusty Texan road.
"Nobody," Kate replied quickly. Too quickly. If she wanted to keep secrets, Claire thought, she needed to learn to control the hint of defensiveness in her tone.
"Is that that Winthrop boy from church?" There was an edge of annoyance to her father's voice now. A mixture of his little girl talking to boys and attempting to lie about it to his face.
"His name is Kyle," Kate sighed, "and he's just wanting to know when we're gonna be back."
"Kyle can wait," Jacob was firm in his answer as his eyes once again fixed on the road, considering the subject dropped. "In fact," he added protectively, "waiting is a fine skill for him to acquire."
"Ha ha, very funny," Kate drawled unamusedly, shooting a narrow look over her shoulder when she heard Claire's smothered snorting giggle.
"Daddy…" Kate's voice was tentative, "this whole thing… it's all so sudden don't ya think?"
"Well," Jacob rolled the word around his mouth for a long moment, "I prefer spontaneous."
"We're not gonna be gone too long, right? I mean, we got school."
"You and your brother are exceptional students," Jacob declared, "and your sister has taken a leave from her studies. So you'll either catch up or go back to home school."
"You're kidding me, right?" Kate's voice was deceptively flat as she levelled a gaze at her father.
Meanwhile, Claire held back a wince of guilt at her father's words. While the faculty of Baylor had been sympathetic following her mother's passing, allowing her a small mourning period, that same understanding didn't extend farther than a month. It had come down to her schooling or her family and it was only with the tiniest hint of resentment, resentment that she buried down deep, that Claire dropped out of college and moved back home. Of course, her family was unaware of this. They believed she was just taking a break and would go back any day now.
It wasn't that easy, though.
"It's my Senior year, dad," Kate continued, the edge to her voice becoming sharper, "I have Homecoming and friends and… I have a life."
Allowing her to finish Jacob agreed, "You certainly do. With me and your siblings right here on this RV."
His voice was firm, resolute, any further arguments would only be futile. With a scowl and a noise that could almost be described as a smothered shriek, Kate pushed out of her chair and stood over Claire.
"I'd like my seat back, please," Kate told her older sister through gritted teeth, fingers tapping impatiently against the denim covering her thigh. Itching to text her no good boyfriend no doubt.
The toilet flushed and Scott exited the tiny RV bathroom, a wide shit-eating grin on his face as he looked at his sisters. Knowing instinctively what that meant and wanting to put as much distance between that room and herself, Claire practically launched herself off the couch and smiled while passing Kate. "All yours Katie."
Claire grinned when she heard Kate's gasp of disgust as the smell finally hit her, having to bite back a giggle as Scott squirmed happily in his seat.
"Good Lord, light a match!" Kate cried, face pinched and nostrils flaring.
"Only gonna get worse," Scott warned with the type of glee that only came from a brother teasing his sister, "By the time we get to Mexico, this thing is gonna be running on a whole different kind of gas."
"You're disgusting," Kate informed him as though she were the leading expert of such things.
"I'm awesome," Scott crowed, brandishing his Viva Lucha comic at her, "like these guys."
"Can you even read that?"
"I like the pictures."
"You know that stuff is rigged, right?"
"Yeah, but the rules are like way looser down there," Scott explained, "also, the more of a freak you are, the more popular you become."
"Well then, you're gonna fit right in."
Propping her feet up on the dash let out a small yawn as she settled down into the upholstery, finding a comfortable position. A soft smile spread across her face as she listened to her sibling's good-natured bickering, feeling more normal at that moment than she had since they'd left. Glasses sliding down her nose slightly her breathing gradually evened out as she fell into a light sleep.
Bob's Brisket may have been constructed entirely out of dusty planks of wood and looked like a stiff wind would blow it over, but good Lord did it make a good sandwich.
Sitting on top of the little picnic table outside under the shade of a small copse of trees Claire hummed contentedly around her lunch. There was just something about good old Texas barbecue that healed the soul, in her opinion. Tangy crispy slaw making a satisfying crunch when she bit down.
"Are you eating that sandwich or making love to it?" Scott asked with a cheeky grin.
Waggling her brows in return Claire replied, "Scottie if this here sandwich were a man we'd be getting married faster than you could blink. Luckily for daddy, ain't no man gonna treat me as good as this sandwich is right now."
The Fuller family had made the pit stop after fifteen minutes straight pleading from Kate needing a break from the rattling death-trap and her brother's digestive issues. A sign on the side of the road had advertised Bob's Brisket twenty miles away and so the decision had been made to have an early lunch. Claire hadn't been complaining, any opportunity to eat was a good opportunity in her book. Her mother had once likened her eating habits to a bear getting ready to hibernate for winter. Saying it was a good thing she was so active otherwise she'd be plumper than a turkey.
Frowning at his watch Jacob asked, "Has anybody seen Kate? She's been gone for a while."
Cocking her head to the side Claire considered the last time she had seen her sister. It had to have been a good ten minutes ago when Kate had announced that she wanted to take advantage of a bathroom that wasn't moving and set off for the restrooms. "I'll go check if she's alright, daddy," Claire stood, swallowing the last bite of her sandwich and wiping her hands against her thighs. Shooting a wide smile at her daddy she was relieved when some of the concern faded from his face.
Entering the building Claire made her way to the back where the restrooms were. Rapping the back of her knuckles against the door to the ladies Claire called out, "Katie? You okay in there?"
When nothing but silence answered she tried again, rapping a little bit harder.
A tiny seed of suspicion was forming in the pit of her stomach. The constant texting between Kate and Kyle. The insistence to stop for lunch. It was all painting a picture of betrayal and planning that made Claire more than a little hurt with her sister's actions. It was disappointing and out of character and just so, so bratty.
"You looking for your sister, sweetheart?" A voice called out from behind. Turning, Claire saw the kindly older waitress who had taken their orders earlier, a woman with big blonde hair and a no-nonsense smile. "She took off around the back about five minutes ago."
Fist clenching Claire could already feel the heat of an angry flush spreading across her chest and up her neck. She couldn't believe it. Was Kate really that selfish? Did she think so little of her family that she would just sneak out like a thief in the night?
"Thank you," Claire managed to swallow down the building panic long enough to shoot the waitress a tremulous smile, "have a lovely day."
By the time she got back to the picnic table where her father and brother waited, she was near on vibrating, boot heels crunching into the gravel with the impact of a bullet going off. All she could think about was her ungrateful younger sister running off into some boys car and abandoning her family. After everything Claire herself had sacrificed Kate was acting like a family vacation her senior year was the end of the world like some little...brat.
"What's wrong Claire-Bear?" Jacob asked as she stopped short of the table, rising slowly as though already knowing her answer wouldn't be a happy one.
"Kate's run off," Claire bit out, "Off to meet that Winthrop boy, no doubt."
"Katie's done what now?" Jacob finished standing, blue eyes burning across at his daughter.
Scott snorted, "No surprises there."
With a jerk of her head, Claire marched off around the back of the building. "Come on, the waitress said she went this way."
In the several minutes it took to track down Kate and Kyle, his truck a cherry-red beacon, Claire had managed to calm down slightly. Trying to see things from Kate's point of view, trying to be understanding and forgiving like the good Lord would want her to be.
"Kate, what-what are you doing?" The hurt in Jacob's voice was palpable as he watched his daughter stand in front of that boy's truck, arms crossed defiantly.
"Yeah, Kate, what the Hell?" Scott burst out, scowling at his sister and the long-haired boy next to her in turns. "You were gonna leave us too?"
Silently, Claire observed Kyle Winthrop. The way the boy stood a little too close to Kate. His eyes a little too calculating. As though he was enjoying the family drama about to ensue. Claire had a bad feeling about this skinny little boy with his denim vest and plaid sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
"What's going on here?" Jacob asked sternly, expecting a no-nonsense answer in reply, eyeing up the boy intending to take his daughter away.
"She texted him," Scott spat, eyes burning with betrayal, "I saw her."
Chin jutting out mulishly Kate taunted, "Tattletale."
Sighing, Jacob addressed Kyle, "I'm sorry that you had to drive all the way out here, son. I do appreciate your concern for my daughter, but this is a family matter." Jacob paused, as though conflicted about his next words, "It's- it's none of your business."
"All due respect, Kate made it my business," Kyle spoke up, meeting Jacob's gaze with a confidence that did not belong to a teenage church boy. All the while Kate stood next to him in agreement, gazing at her daddy as though he were some curly mustachioed villain tying her to the train tracks. "She's downright scared, the way you just packed her up and took her out of her life like that."
Narrowing her eyes at him Claire forced herself to bite her tongue. Her daddy wouldn't appreciate his daughter stepping in and fighting his battles for him. Not right now. Not in front of this boy and his children. But by God did she want to. So bad.
Rolling his shoulders back Jacob fixed that boy with his best reverend-stare, "Now, listen, I know your family for a long time now from church. Now, I don't want to call them up on account of you giving me any kind of trouble out here."
"Go ahead," Kyle challenged at the same time Kate cried, "Daddy, don't you dare."
"Call em," Kyle continued, smirking in a way that implied he knew something they didn't. Claire didn't like it one bit. It made her stomach twist unpleasantly.
In fact, she didn't like this entire situation one bit. It wasn't right. It wasn't what family did to one another. Family was trust and unconditional love. It was support and honesty. It wasn't sneaking around and keeping secrets and running off like a boy trying to escape an angry fathers shotgun.
"Now, Kyle, you're a good boy," Jacob tried to reason, "don't do anything to betray that."
"You're the traitor… reverend."
Claire reeled at the accusation falling so naturally from Kyle's lips, eyes rapidly darting between him and her father. The way he said it… the conviction behind it. That boy seriously believed her father had done something truly bad. That twisting feeling in her stomach got worse. Claire had never dealt well with conflict, it caused her anxiety to flare up making her clammy and jittery. She was a peace-keeper. The one who smoothed things over with a gentle hand and understanding words.
None of this sat well with her. None.
"What kind of man up and abandons his congregation?"
The words hit Claire like a physical blow, a soft sound escaping her mouth, and she blinked at her father in shock. "Abandons it?" She visibly recoiled from the whispered words, as though they hadn't come from her own mouth.
"What's he talkin' about, dad?" Scott demanded, that undercurrent of anger that never really left her brother alone leaking through.
"He didn't tell you?" Kyle asked lightly, looking inordinately pleased with the reactions his words elicited. He worked the Fuller's like an experienced con-man pulling a job, demanding attention. Feeding on it. "I talked to my mom. He quit the parish for good."
"You said it was just a break," Kate took a step forward, upset, "When were you gonna tell us?"
Jacob Fuller looked like a man defeated. Strung up by a rope of his own making. Standing on a dusty Texan road surrounded by the accusing and disappointed gazes of his children and a boy poking his nose where it didn't belong.
Meanwhile, Kyle Winthrop looked far too pleased for a boy whose words might tear a family apart.
"Soon as the time was right."
"But why dad?" Scott pushed, trying to understand desperately not wanting to believe that his father was a traitor or a coward. "Why would you quit?"
Heart beating in her chest, Claire barely noticed Kate demanding an answer or threatening to leave with Kyle and never coming back. Hot and lightheaded, she realised that her breath was coming in fast little gasps and made a concentrated effort to calm down. It was not the time for a panic attack. Without thinking, Claire reached out and hooked her fingers around her father's squeezing in an effort to anchor herself. Everything was falling apart.
Taking her touch as encouragement Jacob squeezed his daughters fingers in return before answering, "If you're a man of the cloth, be it any cloth, not a day goes by that you don't look in the mirror and wonder 'Am I a fraud'?"
Frowning Kate asked, "What are you talking about, Dad?"
Meanwhile, Claire blinked back tears since she knew exactly what her father was talking about. The same thing she had listening to him mumble in the moments between sleeping and waking when he had finally run out of tears for the night. Kate wouldn't know because she hadn't been there, so consumed in her own grief to notice anyone else's. But Claire had been there, she had lived it, all the while pushing her own aside to deal with at another time.
"A shepherd can't lead his flock if he's lost the path himself."
"Are you saying you don't believe anymore?"
Gazing at his distraught daughter Jacob Fuller didn't have an answer. And his silence spoke volumes of the internal turmoil he had been battling unbeknownst to his children. Tension was thick and cloying and Claire both wanted to burst into tears and hit Kyle Winthrop in the face.
Grabbing at Kate's arm Kyle began to tug her toward the truck. "I told you, come on. Let's go, now!"
"Let go of her!" Scott angrily strode after them, intentions painted clear across his face if he got ahold of the boy manhandling his sister. Boyfriend or not, pissed at her or not, Kate was his sister and no one touched her like that.
"Young man, let my daughter go," Jacob demanded, hand closing around Kyle's upper arm and making to pull him to a stop. Only he didn't get a chance as Kyle spun and hauled off and slugged him. Fist connecting with Jacobs jaw with a meaty thwack that had Claire wincing in sympathetic pain.
"Daddy!" Claire cried, fingers muffling the word against her lips as she witnessed the violence around her. A gentle heart, Claire had never dealt well with violent displays and this one proved no different.
There was a madness in Kyle Winthrop's eyes as stalked towards Jacob again, grabbing the gasping man by the shoulders and driving his knee into his gut. A cruel smile curved his lips, chilling Claire to the core as she desperately dug her nails into his shoulder trying to pull him off.
"Stop it!" Tears were burning her eyes and her stomach was in knots, heart fluttering like a hummingbird behind her ribcage. "Stop it!"
"Get off him!" Scott roared, shoulder-checking Kyle so he stumbled backward where Kate wrapped a hand around his arm to steady him.
"What has gotten into you?" Kate demanded of her boyfriend, the sudden violence shaking her and leaving her conflicted. Her older sister's panicked cries echoing in her ears.
"Don't let him fool you!"
"He's my dad!"
Claire knelt down next to her daddy, trembling hands gentle as they rolled him over to inspect the damage. The three years of pre-med she had managed to get in at Baylor were about to get a workout. Light fingers traced the swelling on his jaw, prodding to make sure nothing was broken or fractured. Blood smeared across her father's skin from where Kyle's ring had split it and Claire softly hushed him. Hands next smoothed over his torso, feeling the dips of his ribs and frowning in concern at her father's sharp gasp of pain. Only sitting back on her heels when she was satisfied that there was only some deep bruises and nothing broken.
"I want you to leave - now!" Kate was firm as she stared down the boy who had said he loved her.
"Fine!" Kyle spat back at her as he moved back towards his truck. Pausing, voice dripping with malice, he shot over his shoulder, "So long, you and your rice monkey brother."
Shooting to her feet Claire latched her arms around Scott's waist as he launched himself towards Kyle with a snarl. Eyes burning she glared at the smug teen from underneath her brothers flailing arms as he dragged her across the dirt in his effort to reach Kyle. With frantic cries to stop, Kate pulled on Scott's arm trying to tug him back.
"Bunch of freaks," Kyle sniggered at them as though he found Scott as intimidating as a yapping chihuahua.
Pressing her forehead between Scott's shoulder-blades she prayed for her brother to calm down. Conflicted on whether or not she should let Scott go, her anger at odds with the ingrained belief that violence begets violence, Claire's fingers curled tighter into her brother's shirt. Leaving the fabric damp as her heart rate once again began to climb. Why couldn't Kyle Winthrop just get in his truck and leave them alone? Did he somehow think that by taunting them and insulting her family Kate would call shotgun and drive off like some love-struck Juliet?
"Let's go, kids," Jacob's voice was gentle as he wrapped his arms around his children, surrounding them with warmth. Pushing down whatever he was feeling and concentrating on comforting them instead. Because that's what fathers did. "Come on, let's go."
As Jacob herded his children away, Claire glanced back over her shoulder to see Kyle staring after them with the strangest expression on his face. It made a shiver run down her spine despite the heat, goosebumps prickling her skin.
For a split second their eyes met and Claire recoiled in shock, blinking rapidly. Unwilling to believe what she had just seen, chalking it up to just being a trick of the sunlight.
Because at that moment she would have sworn up and down that they were bright yellow.
AN: well here we go, folks, chapter one! I'm hoping having some actual action and a much higher word count will get some more interest.
Remember to read and review.
- susiesamurai xo