Jacob POV

I pounded the earth with my paws as I ran for the eleventh day in a row after my little visit with Edward, pretending each step was my fist connecting with the bloodsucker's face. At first, I used my wolf to get out of my human head and run off the emotions, using movement in the place of words. But the last couple of days it had just become a way for me to think about it more in private without the danger of phasing out of anger. I was careful to phase back the second Leah or Seth went wolf.

Edward was completely insane and that's all there was to it. Driven to lunacy by an impossible situation. I hated him for saying those things to me, for asking me to dig myself further into the endless sinkhole that Bella Swan—no, Bella CULLEN—had become to me. And worse, I understood why he did it.

I shouldn't have even been part of this whole messed up equation anymore. The woman of my dreams was married; like I told him, game over. I fought for her as hard as I could, but there was a point where I was supposed to give up and move on. I was supposed to turn around, let go, and never look back. I might even welcome an imprint if it meant not having to think about the fact that my real soul mate was married to my mortal enemy. Instead, I was having play dates with the guy. That's me, good old reliable Jacob Black. Cullen family friend. Always the shoulder to cry on. The one to call when you need a favor. I gouged a nearby tree with my claws in frustration, leaving a long scar in the ancient bark. I was drawing the line at adding fucking "sperm donor" to the list.

And yet I hadn't been able to keep my stupid traitor of a brain from going there once he said it. He planted that seed and I couldn't stop the sudden flood of images of Bella happy again. But I wasn't picturing what could happen if I took him up on his offer. I was picturing how natural and easy her life would have been if she had chosen me in the first place. I saw Bella with our safe and healthy baby. I saw her smiling up at me and the miracle we created together. Every single problem she had had over the last few years would have been erased if she had just chosen me over him.

It wasn't too late for me to run. I could still turn around, head in the opposite direction, and never look back at this mess and the battle I had already lost. Instead, I went to see Bella.

I walked up the steps to the front door wondering what in the world I would say to her. I wasn't going to bring up Edward's insane lapse of judgment, but if she was as far gone as he said, then I had to at least try to help her somehow. I hoped the words would come to me when I saw her, because I sure as hell didn't know what I was going to say now.

Alice opened the door and greeted me before I could knock.

"Jacob, what a pleasant surprise," she smiled. "Bella will be glad to see you."

"Thanks, Alice. Where is she?" I asked.

"She's upstairs working on her CD collection. Edward bought her a big box of assorted albums from the internet and she's been creating a system to organize them all. You can go on up, if you want."

I took the stairs two at a time, then hesitated for a minute just outside of the door. If she was listening to music again, maybe she would be okay.

"Bells? Can I come in?" I peeked my head inside the doorframe.

Bella was sitting in the middle of the hardwood floor with rows and rows of CDs arranged in a circle around her. They took up all of the available walking space and many still sat in taller stacks around the edges.

"Hey Jake! Sure, come on in. Just watch your step."

She made a move to part the sea of albums for me to join her, sliding them out of the way but careful not to affect the order. I dodged Etta James and Michael Jackson as I folded myself into the small space she created next to her on the floor.

"What brings you here?" she asked.

"It's been a while since I saw you, Bells. I wanted to see how you were doing and thought maybe you'd want to hang out some time."

"Sure, Jake. Thanks for coming."

I watched as she continued to pull albums from the stacks around the periphery of the circle. Every time she found the right placement for the next one, she had to adjust the entire rest of the circle. This must have taken her hours.

"So what are you doing with all of these?" I asked.

"Edward surprised me with them. At first I thought I wanted them in alphabetical order, but then I tried to separate them by genre. I had a hard time because there are so many that just don't fit into one neat category, you know? I didn't want to choose the wrong ones. So now I'm putting them back in alphabetical order," she explained.

We sat in silence for a while, and I watched her continue to alphabetize. She had been quick to greet me and answer my questions, but made no attempt at conversation herself. I tried a few more topics, but she just gave quick answers and stayed immersed in her little music library. Edward obviously knew how much she liked music and was trying to get her to enjoy the things she had cared about before. It wasn't a bad idea, except she wasn't actually playing or enjoying any of the music, just moving it around on the floor. I thought of the Disney movies my sisters and I used to watch as kids and couldn't help but think of another monster that tried to keep another beautiful girl locked away and satisfied with a library full of books. Did that make me the big muscular town idiot in this scenario? God I hoped not.

"You've got a lot of good stuff here. Why aren't you playing any of it?" I asked.

"Oh, you know, just didn't really feel like it right now. It distracts me."

It felt like déjà vu and brought me right back to a moment so long ago in my garage. Just like then, all I wanted to do was hug her and make the pain go away. I almost wished she had her arms wrapped around her middle now; at least then she acknowledged that something was wrong.

"I'm worried about you, Bells. Talk to me."

She sighed.

"Everybody keeps saying that, but I'm fine. Really. You don't have to worry about me," she said.

"Sweetheart, you're not fine. The Bella that I know loves all kinds of music and would never sit in a room full of it in silence. In fact, I'm pretty sure she would be wearing herself out getting up and down, putting CD after CD into the player because she couldn't listen to just one all the way through before wanting to hear the next one. And she'd probably be tripping over her feet and breaking some in the process."

"People change, Jake."

Yeah, she had changed. But she was avoiding the biggest change of all, which left me with hope that maybe she wanted to be back to herself as much as we wanted her to be. Damnit. We? When did Edward and I become a united "we?"

"Edward's worried about you, too," I blurted out.

"How do you know how Edward feels? He's not here right now," she eyed me suspiciously.

"I saw him the other day, and I could tell he's worried about you," I hedged.

"You saw him? What, you ran into him at the grocery store? You two don't exactly run in the same circles, Jake. What's going on?" she asked.

There was no way in hell I was telling her all the details about our meeting. If I could go back and unknow them myself, I would.

"He came to see me because he was worried about you and he didn't know what to do," I confessed.

"Bells, can I ask you something personal? I don't want to upset you, but I know it might not be something you want to talk about with him right now, and I thought maybe you needed to talk about it with someone else. Someone...human."

I fidgeted with a stack of unsorted CDs and found myself absentmindedly placing them in order as she had been doing. Maybe it did help with stress. She didn't respond, so I kept talking.

"It's about you, being, well, you. I can't tell you how happy I am that you're still human, Bella. You know where I stand on that particular topic. But I know you had plans to turn right after the wedding. I realize things are different now, but I was just wondering how you're feeling about it. Did you change your mind?" I asked.

She put down the CD she had been holding and turned to face me head on, pulling her knees to her chest so that we were sitting knee to knee in the tiny space in the center of the room. It felt so familiar and intimate, and in that moment, I missed her so much even though she was right there.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it at all. I didn't want to think about it. I don't want to think about anything." The last sentence was almost a whisper.

I picked up her tiny hand and squeezed it in mine. She gave a small squeeze back, and it felt like I was finally breaking the tiniest hole in the wall she had put up.

"You don't have to decide anything right now. I just want you to know that it would be okay with everyone if you did change your mind or want more time, or anything really."

I was rambling now, but all in all, I felt like I was doing pretty well.

"Thanks, Jake."

She reached up and hugged me of her own accord, and I squeezed her back. It felt so good to hold her again and to know that that's what she wanted, that she actually wanted to hug me and wasn't just passively letting it happen.

"It's just, it's not too late to experience some of those human things you maybe didn't think about before. When you're ready to think about them again, if you wanted to try again, I mean, just…it's not too late. Edward loves you and I'm sure you two can find a way to be happy again. You'll make an excellent mom one day, Bells."

Her eyes narrowed at the last part.

"What did you just say?" she asked. I had said too much.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…I don't want to upset you or make you uncomfortable. Edward just thinks that maybe once you're feeling better and have had some time to think about it, that maybe you'll realize you do want to have children one day, and that's why you're waiting."

I needed a rewind button. This wasn't going right at all.

"Wait, 'Edward thinks?' So now my husband is talking to you about what I may or may not want in the future, but he can't even ask me himself?"

Crap. Busted. It was the first time I had heard her raise her voice in months.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have interfered. I think I should go and let you two talk about it when he comes home. What I said still stands, though. You still have time to make choices and think about what you want, Bells. Just think about it."

I stood up and tried to navigate my way back out of the room without breaking any CDs.

"Wait, Jake?" She asked as I made it to the door. I turned back to face her.

"Thank you for coming. I mean it."

And for the first time in months, I felt like she did.