"What did he look like?"

Bilbo spun his spoon a bit, letting the tea settle and enjoy the warmth and scent. The sunlight streaming in the window was welcomed. It reminded him of such evenings and mornings in the Shire, when the sound of birds and occasional chattering of folk outside would drift, just enough to dust your atmosphere with the sound of civilization.

If not for the sound of the breaking of water against the rocks outside, he could nearly imagine himself back on his porch in Bag End, taking a nice puff of his pipe as second breakfast settled and he enjoyed the signs of the world just waking up.

"Uncle?"

Blinking once then twice, it took Frodo gently laying his hand over Bilbo's before the older Hobbit looked up. "Ah, my apologies, my lad."

"You've been distant since yesterday…no, since we arrived Uncle." Frodo furrowed his brow and took a sip of his tea. "I was asking you about your meeting with Manwë yesterday and you just seemed lost in thought." Frodo paused, "I hope I'm not bothering you Uncle."

Chuckling, lightly, Bilbo lay a hand on the boy's left cheek. "My dear boy, as I recall, I have never neglected to tell you when you are being a bit too enthusiastic, have I?"

Smiling, and yes, the light seemed a bit more bright in his eyes though still haunted, Frodo admitted with a shake of his head, "No, you were always honest on that, Uncle Bilbo."

"I shan't be changing that now." Bilbo set his spoon down and after taking a bite of the small sandwiches before them and swallowing, he advised, "I am focused now, my boy. What were you asking, again?"

Frodo smiled, "About Manwë."

Bilbo took a moment, enjoying the warmth of Frodo's smile. It had been a while since there had been so much light to it. Not without weight but the burden of the ring was lifting here. There was hope and healing again.

A burden he should never have had to carry.

"Ah, Manwë. He is a rather peculiar fellow, my boy. Though, I surmise that being the Voice of Eru will do that to a person, even after eons of having the position. Though, I would say that even with that issue, he could stand a bit of a lesson in manners. His wife, Varda was a bit more approachable."

Frodo took a sip of his tea and offered, "Well, I suppose this is all rather new to them. Elves, as you've told me, are expected here and Gandalf is a Maia. But two small Hobbits…that would be rather unexpected. Though Lady Yavanna seems pleased with it."

Ah, the Lady of the Earth? Bilbo set his nephew with a curious eye. "Ah, so I am not the only one requesting the presence of the Valar?"

Blushing slightly, Frodo had a stern argument. "I did not request her presence, I was merely honored by it." Now, his face lit up, as it had so often in his younger years, when he had first come to Bag End. When they would finish supper and then sit by the fire, letting the warmth dance across their faces as Bilbo would weave one of his tales until slumber took the boy's eyes. "Lord Elrond thought I might appreciate her gardens and the hills of greens. As I was walking among the trees, I spied her and she approached me Uncle."

Eyes warm and only heightened by the scent of the food and drink, Bilbo reached forward and embraced his nephew. "Did she now? Do tell, my boy for it is a great privilege to speak to the Lady of the Green."

"She did not say much. But her voice was like all the birds that used to nest in the thicket in the Shire. It dripped like honey. She sounded young, far younger than I thought she might, as if she were perpetually blessed with maidenhood."

Oh, Bilbo could only imagine. So many of their stories had been around Lady Yavanna. He had been surprised that even Thorin and his Company had exchanged stories of her. While their respect lay in Mahal, the Valar Aulë, her husband, they had nothing but respect for her and gave praise to the fruits her earth provided. Her mercy and passion for her growing things was something that their families looked to for inspiration. According to Ori, a wonderful compliment for a Dwarven family was to be compared to Yavanna.

Fili and Kili had spoken at length about how while dwarves did not possess the skill with the earth that Hobbits did, they knew how to plant and how to raise crops. Thorin had even mentioned that Erebor had possessed a large garden way up in the upper levels where foods could be grown and often were before the dragon came. He spoke at length about how they had active veins of gem, gold and silver that lined the open platform and the hanging branches and vines would nearly form a painting as they contrasted.

He had never gotten a chance to show it to Bilbo.

"Oh, Uncle, you must see the rolling hills! Sam would so have loved her fields. Full to the brim they were with trees, trees so heavy with fruit that they nearly touched the ground. Potatoes, carrots, shrubs, herbs, anything that could come from the ground!" Frodo went quiet a moment, contemplative. "Sam...my dearest Sam…he told me…when the Ring…tried to tempt him…all he could see was making Middle Earth his own personal garden. He…all but laughed at the concept because, you see, it was already a garden." Folding his hands into his lap, Frodo looked upward, eyes fixated on the lovely glass fixtures through which the wonder of the sun and moon were never absent. "My dear Sam…I do hope you are happy."

Bilbo's heart lurched. Sam and Frodo had always been close ever since they were small things. But when he had heard of Sam's loyalty on the quest, through all trials, even against a spider as ferocious and ancient as Shelob, Bilbo had looked upon the boy with more respect, more honor and more gratitude than he thought himself capable of feeling. The loyalty of that boy could not be measured.

Yes, indeed, he hoped that Sam was happy too.

"You gave Sam and Rosie Bag End, did you not, my boy?"

Frodo nodded. "I did. Sam has much left to do, though it pains me not have him by my side. After you left the Shire, he became my constant companion, even more so than Merry or Pippin, much as I love them as well. Then, when I began this long journey, he was forever by my side, no matter the obstacle or what I might have said unto him." Tapping his fingers on the table a moment, Frodo once more glanced outside. "I think I understand now, more so than I did before, what you meant when you said that an adventure could fill your heart with empty longing. I gained much on the Quest, Uncle—on myself, in the form of deep friendships and understanding and while my heart and spirit was mending here, there is a deep emptiness as well. The emptiness of leaving them behind and not knowing when or if I shall see them again?" He eyed his relative with something akin to desperation. "Do you think it is so, Uncle? That we have been parted forever?"

Bilbo shook his head. "No. No, I do not believe it is so. You have suffered much, my dear boy, and I do not believe that will be your fate." He bit his lower lip. "I am sorry to have been a cause of it, of this pain, no matter how small. I know all too well the pain of parting and I would not have wished it even on my most loathsome of enemies." He stroked a loose hair from Frodo's eyes. "Hence, I am taking what steps I must to correct it. For you. For Middle Earth. For myself. For those that I have had to say farewell to, long before it was proper."

Frodo didn't need to ask; he knew that look in his Uncle's eyes. As much as Bilbo never tired of telling the Journey to Erebor, it was rare that he told the ending beyond "the dwarves of Erebor were triumphant." He had told Frodo and Frodo through extension had told Sam and Merry and eventually Pippin had learned from Merry but he never brought up such sad endings with the Hobbit children. Not only because he wished them to continue the delusion that there was such a thing as endings where all was good and right again for as long as possible but because Bilbo could rarely hold his voice steady when speaking on the losses of the Durin family.

He always went to bed early those nights and Frodo would hear Bilbo sob deep into the night. So, they had stopped asking about the details of the battle and only focused on the quest itself. Now that he carried his own heavy heart burdens, Frodo felt he understood. Though, he also knew he did not understand.

He had bid farewell to Sam, Pippin and Merry but he knew they were safe. He knew they were alive. He knew Sam was having children and was enjoying it more each day. Pippin had found himself a love with Diamond of Long Cleeve and Frodo had no doubt they would have at least one child before all was said and done. He even suspected that Pippin might honor his dear friend Faramir when the time came to name any future children. Then there was Merry whom was still on a lookout for a love himself but had perhaps found a potential one in Estella. She was a pleasant enough Hobbit lass with just enough sass to keep up with the only Hobbit knight of Rohan.

Yes, yes, all his friends, though he might have said farewell had long lives laid out before them and many wonderful adventures they had yet to have. Many wonderful things they were yet to do and he was warm at heart at the thought.

Uncle Bilbo did not have that luxury.

Thorin was struck down with his kingdom at his feet and Fili and Kili…Bilbo often spoke of their gusto and love for life only for it to snatched away. Then the horrible news they had borne back about the fates of Balin, Ori and Oin…

"What did you ask of Manwë, Bilbo Baggins?"

The sudden new voice was a surprise and yet not unexpected. Bilbo took a moment to set down his cup and turned. Frodo stood up and ran forward, wrapped Gandalf in a hug as the old man entered the room. There was sternness to his figure, not something unusual for the wizard but at the embrace by Frodo, warmth and the kindness that was well known by all that took the time to get to know him bled through. The man chuckled and stroked Frodo's hair a moment before the Hobbit pulled away.

"Gandalf, we didn't know you were coming!"

"As I've said before, a wizard arrives when he desires to, Frodo, neither before or after."

Rolling his eyes slightly, Bilbo stood, retrieving his walking stick and made his way over. "You are similar to the elves in that manner, old friend. Riddles and saying both yes and no in the same instance."

"I would imagine that you are well accustomed to riddles, Bilbo Baggins." The older man countered but the intensity had not left his eyes. "But if you wish me to speak freely, so I shall. Your demands of Manwë have not gone unnoticed."

Bilbo scoffed. "Demands? I would hardly call it such. I made a request, simple as that."

"And the request you made was hardly simple!"

Bilbo eyed his nephew who was looking from him to Gandalf and back again with something akin to anxiety in his eyes. Hardening his voice, Bilbo set his eyes on the wizard. "Gandalf, my old friend, if you have a desire to speak to me candidly about that which you think I made egregious errors, let us take a walk to discuss this. This does not involve Frodo and I'll not have us dragging him into it!"

This seemed to calm the wizard's storm and he stopped, turned to the younger Hobbit. "Y…yes, quite right." Clearing his throat, Gandalf remarked. "Your uncle and I will discuss some things, Frodo but I promise you, it will be civilly." He shifted to Bilbo. "As I recall, you have not yet seen Yavanna's green hills, have you?"

Taking up his walking stick, Bilbo shook his head, "I have not and if what Frodo has told me, that is a dreadful shame. Come, let us correct that now." He turned to his nephew, "If I recall, my boy, Lord Elrond may have some more stories to tell you here than I have ever heard. So many ancestors he has been able to reconnect with. Let him occupy your time this afternoon and I will look forward to your full report at dinner."

"…yes, Uncle."

OOO

"I will not rescind my request, if that is what you desire from me, Gandalf."

The wizard sighed heavily. "It is neither a simple thing nor something to simply push aside to ask for the Valar to appeal to Eru, Bilbo Baggins."

"Perhaps not, but Manwë agreed to it all the same, with some pressure and proper council from Lady Varda."

"Pure curiosity and utter shock at your tenacity I am sure."

"Do not play games with me." Bilbo stopped and turned. "I spoke to them candidly as I do to you now. I desire to fix that which should not have come to pass. I look to stop needless suffering, if it possible. To stop deaths that should not have happened."

"Such is the casualty of war, Bilbo Baggins." The wizard spoke softly though no less intently. "Life is not a fair entity, designed to hand out equal lots to us all."

"No, it is not but I will strive to make it more fair than it has been." Bilbo insisted again. "I will fix it if I may. I am not questioning the fact of it being unfair, Gandalf. I am simply questioning if it must remain that way."

"You are questioning the path that has already been laid, Bilbo Baggins."

"I am!" The hobbit turned and his eyes were fierce and full of fire. "Don't stand there and pretend you do not know what I have asked. I know you have. And I know you know WHY I have asked."

Gandalf paused in step, took a deep sigh. "Your grief over the line of Durin—"

"Thorin. Fili. Kili. They had…HAVE…names Gandalf! Use them!"

Turning, the wizard knelt so that he was at eye level with Bilbo. The hobbit's eyes were watery and red and despite his advanced age, oh, there was so much fury in his face that Gandalf had no doubt that if he had possessed Sting at the moment, he would have drawn it, Valinor or not.

"Bilbo, my old friend." The wizard laid a hand on each shoulder. "You know me better than that. I mean no disrespect to their memory. But the dead are dead, Bilbo Baggins. It does us little good to linger on them for so long that they poison our present."

"Don't speak of them like it is damaging to remember them." Bilbo gathered his breath and he challenged. "You have given me much wisdom in my life, old friend, but I will not accept this. Not if there is a chance, even a fraction of a chance. And you can lie to yourself all you want, Gandalf but I have seen through your lies."

"Oh? When have I lied to you? Not been always open with all I know, yes, that is true but—"

"Whenever you looked at Pippin and Merry." Bilbo gathered his voice. "Whenever you would come, always under the pretense of your fireworks or making merry but your eyes always drifted to them. As they laughed and danced and drank. Look me in the eye, Gandalf and swear unto me by the very land we stand upon, that you have NEVER looked at them and not wondered on Fili and Kili."

Gandalf stared at Bilbo, for a long time, seemed to age centuries in mere moments. Bilbo could almost see him remembering, revisiting and the weariness of his heart bled through his eyes. With a heavy sigh, the white wizard stood again.

"I cannot. I will not deny that their deaths, if nothing else, have weighed heavy on my heart."

"As they have on mine. I sit awake and wonder some nights…what they would have been like. If they would have married, had children, how Fili would have done so well as a King with his brother by side. Oh, the pride in Thorin's eyes…" Bilbo took a breath again, a shaky one. "I do not pretend that this is some utterly noble quest or venture, Gandalf though, indeed, the elements of that do exist. I meant what I said when I said I meant to stop suffering, stop pain, maybe stop this whole war…but my heart knows that it is for them the most that I want to go. That I want to change things, however I may."

"Noble in principle, my friend." Gandalf spoke simply. "But you are not as young as you once were. How would you manage to correct so wide an error that you claim their deaths were?"

"Crawling on my hands and knees, if need be."

Gandalf eyed the hobbit a long moment. The wonder of the Blessed Land had aided his memory somewhat but it did nothing for Bilbo's body. It was still hunched, slow, reliant on a cane and hair as white as his own. To send him on a quest such as this, it was as much a death sentence as if Gandalf had swung his own blade upon him.

And yet, as he had felt with Frodo, a hint of hope awoke in the wizard's heart. He smiled, a weary, worried and yet amused grin.

"Bilbo Baggins, as I said unto your nephew not so long ago. Hobbits really are amazing creatures. Here I had thought I had known everything about them and yet, here you are, again, my friend, surprising me."

Bilbo stood firm and tall, but did not answer.

Gandalf gestured with his left arm and guided Bilbo with his right. "My purpose this day was to convince you otherwise of this favor but I do not feel that I can. Nor, anymore, do I wish to. Being that as it is…"

Bilbo eyed him, suspicious and not without cause but Gandalf merely pointed forward to the great halls that loomed before them with his staff. "…Gandalf?"

"The Valar will see you now."