Bella POV

I didn't know how to begin this conversation with Edward. His heart must have been in some completely messed up but well-meaning place of love, but he seriously needed to stop jumping to extremes and trying to set them in motion without me.

I walked upstairs and found him sitting on our bed with his face buried in his hands, and he looked more worried and distraught than I'd ever seen him before. Some of my anger faded into pity at the sight of him.

He slowly looked up as I entered the room. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Where did you go?"

"We just talked in a parking lot."

Edward's hands dropped to his sides and he looked immensely relieved. Surely he didn't think Jacob and I had just run off to go procreate without so much as a word to him, did he? I sat next to him on the bed, and he slowly circled his arms around me.

"You have to stop doing this, Edward. I know you mean well, but come on. You're being completely irrational."

"I know the idea was…incredibly unconventional…but I swear to you, I just want you to be happy. I would do anything for you." He looked into my eyes as he said it, and I knew it was true.

"If that's true, Edward, believe me when I say the only thing I need you to do for me is stop trying to take matters into your own hands. We're a team. The two of us. We're not a trio, and you and Jacob are certainly not on some team together without me. And just so you know, I could never do that. Not to either of you."

"If that's your choice, then I understand. I'm sorry for making you feel like this wasn't your decision to make. I know that it is, love. Just know that if you still want it, I'm willing to do this for you, and so is Jacob."

"Jacob didn't mean it, Edward. He knew I would never take him up on the offer," I argued. Though deep down, I knew that at the end of our conversation, Jacob had totally meant it, even if it was a spur of the moment decision.

"But if you did, he would do this for you. I'm sure of it," he said. "Bella, you know that I love you with all of my heart, and you still feel the same for me, right?"

"Of course I do. You know that." He squeezed my hand gently as I said it.

"Then we can withstand this. We've already defeated an army of newborns. We defy the laws of nature every time we're together and the love I feel for you overpowers the thirst. You've survived the most tragically impossible loss, and we're still here, together. I love you more every single day, and we still have eternity to look forward to together. One moment with Jacob can't take that away from us. You can have this, Bella. All you have to do is believe it. Believe in us. Together, we can do anything."

I choked back tears at his words. It sounded like some beautifully twisted set of wedding vows. But I couldn't want this. It would ruin everything. Maybe Edward and I could get past it, but how could I ever ask it of Jacob? My Jacob, my sun, who had already been dragged through hell by me. I couldn't do this to him.

"I know we're strong enough," I gestured between the two of us. "But I can't do that to Jake. He's already been through enough."

"I've been inside his head. Trust me. Do you know what was going through his mind the day he came over for the insemination procedure?"

"No, and it's none of our business."

"I had to know, Bella. He knew what he was signing up for when he agreed to do it. He was nervous, apprehensive, terrified, even, but determined. He wanted to do this for us. I'll admit, I expected there to be some selfish reasons behind his cooperation, but I found none. His motives were pure. Call me crazy if you want, but I trust him."

"This isn't the same, and you know it," I argued.

"Have a little faith in the guy, Bella. For once, I do."

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just can't do it."

Weeks passed, and none of us had any more bright ideas. No angels swooped down and intervened, no one broke out of the insane asylum to come talk sense into us, and none of my other friends offered to do me any "favors" (though to be fair, I'm sure Mike would have if he had known).

I knew it was time to move forward and stop dragging every single person in my life down with me. I called a family meeting, and the date was set. In one week, I would begin my new life. A nervous excitement coursed through me at the thought of finally having this indecisive weight lifted from my shoulders. I just dreaded having to leave Charlie behind in the process. I made plans to visit him at home and cook him one last dinner, just like old times.

I cooked him a feast of meatloaf and mashed potatoes and green beans with an apple pie and a side of his favorite brand of vanilla ice cream for dessert. When he saw the spread, his eyes went wide.

"Whoah there, Bells. Do we have guests coming? Did you invite Jacob over and forget to tell me? That is one serious mountain of food."

Okay, so maybe I had gone a little bit overboard. I wanted to leave him with several days' worth of leftovers and then more for the freezer.

"No Dad, I must've, um, used the bigger recipe by mistake. I'll freeze it up for you so you can have some whenever you want."

"Thanks, kiddo. You're too good to me."

It was harmless little comments like that that kept getting to me. Things like "next time I'll take you out for cobbler at the diner" or details about the fishing trip he was planning for next month had me blinking back the prickly sensation of tears.

I had come up with the idea of telling him that Edward and I were planning to spend a month backpacking through Europe. Then, gradually, we'd extend the lie. The month would turn into two. Eventually, we'd break the news that we were moving and weren't coming back. I told myself that maybe we'd still be able to video chat at first, or even just talk on the phone. We didn't have to cut off all contact completely, not right away. I took a deep breath and sat up straighter on the couch. I could do this.

"So dad, Edward and I are sort of planning to, um…"

"Yeah, Bella?" Charlie leaned forward in his recliner giving me his full attention.

I felt the familiar prickly threat of tears, and my throat began to feel tight.

"We were thinking of, um, maybe…buying a new refrigerator. Got any suggestions?"

I panicked and chickened out. I knew the minute I tried to feed him the lie, the dam inside of me was going to break, and there'd be no explaining to him why I was a sobbing mess. I'd have to keep acting like this was a normal day and tell him over the phone later.

"Well, that one in there is a Frigidaire, and it's older than you are, so I'd say it's had a pretty good run." He motioned to the kitchen with his thumb. "Though if you're going to keep cooking for an army, you might want something a little more, uh, size appropriate."

I listened and nodded as Charlie rambled off a list of brands to stay away from before going into a monologue about ice makers and water dispensers being unsanitary if they're not cleaned regularly. All it did was make me sadder that I wouldn't be able to come to him for mundane life advice like this anymore.

When I hugged him goodbye later that night, it took all of my strength not to dissolve into a puddle of tears on the spot. I couldn't help but squeeze him a little tighter than usual.

"I love you so much, Dad," I said into his neck.

"Love you too, Bells." We pulled apart. "Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah. Just feeling a little sentimental, that's all. See ya."

I forced myself to step off the porch and wave goodbye. I managed to make it around the block before I had to pull over and cry.

Jacob POV

I was more than a little surprised when I heard a knock on the door followed by Dad announcing that Bella was here. We'd been trying not to spend too much time together and raise the pack's suspicion, not that I'd seen her any at all in the last few weeks. There was nothing left for me to say, anyway. I had offered her absolutely everything, and it was up to her to figure things out from here. I stepped out of my room and saw her standing in the kitchen.

"Actually, I can't stay. I just wanted to drop something off. Walk with me to my car?" she asked.

I couldn't imagine what she'd be dropping off and wondered if it was just an excuse to get me alone outside away from my dad. I obediently followed her out the door and tried not to glance back at my Dad on the way out. Sometimes I'd swear he was a mind reader of his own kind.

I shut the door to the house and followed her to the shiny, expensive car that felt out of place in our yard. I had been a little proud when she refused to get rid of the truck for sentimental reasons, but she rarely drove it anymore. I missed seeing it in my driveway.

"Is everything okay? Do you really need to drop something off?" I asked once we were out of earshot.

"Yeah, Jake. Everything's fine. This is for you." She handed me a blank white envelope.

"What is this?"

"It's a letter."

"You brought me a letter."

She nodded.

"From who?" I asked.

"From me."

"I don't understand. You're right here. You can't just tell me what it says?"

"I wanted to make sure it got to you and didn't wind up in the wrong hands," she admitted.

I started tearing the thing open, but she put a hand over mine to stop me.

"Not yet. Promise me you'll wait until I leave to read it, okay?"

Her eyes looked watery like she might cry. I felt a knot form in my throat, and a sickening panic took over my stomach.

"What's going on, Bella?"

"Just promise me you'll wait to read it."

I found myself nodding in an agreement that I didn't feel, suddenly certain that I was going to hate the contents of that letter.

Bella stood on her tip-toes and hugged me tight. I leaned down and took a deep breath and was rewarded with the familiar scent of strawberries in her hair that smelled like comfort and home. "Thank you, Jacob" She whispered against my chest.

She gently pulled on the back of my neck and forced me to lean down lower, then kissed me quickly on the cheek. I watched helplessly as she broke away from me and got back into her car.

"I love you, Bells. Always." I didn't know how exactly I meant it, only that I did.

She gave me a sad smile, then shut the door and started the car. When she got to the edge of the driveway, I heard the faintest whisper. "I love you too, Jake. No matter what."

Dear Jake,

I've thought so much about how to say this to you, and I think a letter is the best way for both of us. I need to get this out while I'm thinking clearly and before you can try to talk me out of it. You have been such a good friend to me, Jacob Black. The absolute best. You picked me up when I was at rock bottom and believed that I was worth saving even when I didn't. You've been the sun in my darkest days and my constant voice of reason even when I didn't want to hear it. Thank you for every stubborn, misguided, love-filled and completely selfless thing you've ever done for me. I didn't deserve any of it and am so grateful to have you in my life.

I want you to know that I've made my decision. In a few days, I will be moving forward to embrace my new life with the Cullens. I know this isn't what you wanted for me, and I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you along the way. Please forgive me for being so selfish with you always. You deserve to be happy. You deserve better than everything I have put you through. I will understand if you don't want to see me anymore, and I will respect your decision if that is what you want. I owe you at least that much.

But if you do decide you want something different or unconventional or absolutely insane, like staying best friends your mortal enemy, then all you have to do is ask. I'm in.

Love,

Bella Cullen

Bella had been right to give me the news in a letter. It took all of five seconds before I was busting through another pair of shorts and running through the forest. Letting my wolf side free without worrying about restraining my thoughts for the first time in weeks brought an almost euphoric sense of release. Every time my paws hit the ground, I was pounding away the unfairness of it all in a mixture of anger and grief. Bella's choice of husband. The failed insemination. My insane offer to do things the natural way. Her choice to become a vampire. All of it. I didn't want to think anymore. I was entirely done with thinking, scheming, and trying to do the right thing. Right now, there was only running. Trees. Air. Claws. Dirt. Nothing else mattered.

What have you done?

Sam's voice cut through my thoughts and brought me back to reality. He'd seen it all, and I no longer cared. It was over, anyway.

Seth, Jared, go home. Jacob and I are going to have a discussion.

As soon as Sam issued the command, I felt the minds of the others leave us.

Nothing happened. It's over. She's finally being turned. I explained.

Do you realize the position you would have put our pack in had your little scheme been successful? The danger you were willing to put your own child in, for her? For THEM? It's unforgivable, Jacob. What you've been doing is a betrayal of the entire pack and the treaty.

Sam was furious. I knew he was right, but my stubborn streak lashed out at his anger, clinging to the closest available target.

Technically, I didn't break any rules. There's nothing in the treaty that says—

Don't disrespect me with that bullshit. You knew what you were doing was wrong. Some things don't need to be in writing to be understood. I can't blame our forebears for not seeing a need to include forbidding a pack member from mating with a vampire's WIFE in our treaty. But since you need it spelled out, let me make this very clear for you. I forbid you to see Bella. You will not father her children. That is an order. Am I understood?

My blood boiled at his tone. It almost didn't even matter what his words were saying; the simple act of being forced into submission for any reason felt foreign and wrong. Everything in my body screamed to shout "NO" in response, but I could not defy the order.

My mind forced out an obedient YES, and Sam left without another word.

I ran for miles, longing to put every inch possible between me and this whole mess. Sam's command about fathering Bella's children was a joke now. A non-issue. I wasn't so sure I felt the same about being forbidden to see her, though. Back when I first found out about her plans to become a vampire, I was sure I'd cut her out of my life when the time came. I had no interest in being bffs with a vampire, and I certainly wasn't interested in being in love with one. But things felt different now, and I wasn't so sure I could just walk away that easily. Sam had issued the command before I could give it any real thought. Maybe it would be easier this way, having that decision made for me. Maybe Sam could make me do what we all knew I should have done a long time ago. I hated him for it.

"Is it true, man? Tell me it's not true." Quil said.

He'd found me hiding out in the garage, tinkering with an old engine I'd never had the time to fix.

"Depends on what the hell you're talking about," I answered.

I knew the whole pack would know by now. Even if Sam somehow tried to keep it under wraps, Seth and Paul had seen it all before Sam got rid of them.

"You were really trying to, you know…get Bella pregnant? For Edward? That's some extra insane level of fucked up, bro. Even you have to know that."

I threw a wrench at him without looking up from the work table. He dodged it easily like I knew he would.

"Hey, ease up. I came to see how you're doing, that's all."

"I'm fine," I snapped.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do I look like I want to talk about it?" I slammed the rubber mallet onto some scrap metal laying on the table for good measure.

"Okay, okay. Sorry." Quil raised his hands in a truce.

I exhaled and sat back on the work stool.

"Are the others talking about it? I bet Leah shit herself in excitement when she heard," I guessed. "She's happiest when somebody else is more miserable than her."

"Yeah, well, we were all shocked. That's for sure. There's definitely been some colorful descriptions. I'll spare you the details."

I could imagine the kinds of shit Leah was saying about Bella and about me, and I was sure I'd get to hear it first-hand the next time I saw her. Hence the fact that I was here, hiding out in the garage, rather than running a few laps around the state. They might have known the gist of it, but I wasn't ready for them to start digging for all the gory details.

Quil sat in the old recliner next to the door.

"So…have you heard from her? Is it already done?"

"No. I don't know. Her letter said it would happen in the next few days, and that was three days ago, so maybe. I don't know how long it takes. They might not even tell me."

"I'm sorry, man. I know this isn't what you wanted."

I thought of the identical words Bella had written in the letter. Everyone was so sure this wasn't what I wanted, but I could have sworn the last time I saw Bella, she hadn't wanted it either. I hoped she wasn't making a huge mistake. I tried to tell myself that it wasn't my problem anymore.

"Yeah, well. She made her choice. I'll live." And she won't.

"Hey, you wanna hear something to get your mind off of it? You haven't exactly been in the loop lately."

"Yeah, what have I missed?"

"Seth's putting the moves on Anna. I don't know where that kid learned it from, but I swear he's like a teenage James Bond."

"Has he told her yet?" I asked.

"Nah, not yet. He's working his way up to it. He's practically glued to his phone texting her every time I see him, and Sam's been letting him visit her every other weekend. Embry swiped his phone when he wasn't looking the other day and I thought Seth was going to phase on the spot and murder him. I'm staring to wonder if he's got some pictures on there or something."

"No way, he wouldn't have been able to keep his mind off of it if he did. You would have seen it by now. Who would've thought, though, our baby boy Seth and an older woman."

"For real. I can't wait for him to tell her though so he can calm the hell down some."

"Oh, like you're the epitome of calm? 'Oh Claire, don't step on that seashell. Oh Claire, watch out for the sand'." I teased. Quil definitely had an overprotective streak when it came to Claire, which I guess was understandable, but it was kind of sickening to watch sometimes.

"Hey, low blow. I'm just looking out for her. You make fun now, but you'll understand one day. I can't exactly help it."

"Yeah, not likely."

"She wasn't the one, Jake."

I might've been glad for the momentary distraction, but Quil was officially overstaying his welcome.

"I know. It still sucks." I stood up and headed for the door.

"There's somebody out there for you, man. You just have to find her," Quil reassured me.

I wouldn't hold my breath.