Chapter 2: An orc is an orc, of course, of course!
"Middle Earth? Where is Middle Earth? Is it part of Midgard… like, Mid Earth?" Sif asked.
Loki nodded. "I wonder…" He looked over at Thranduil and Tauriel. "Is it? Is this Earth, a middle part of it perhaps?"
"I have never heard it called simply Earth before," Thranduil replied, staring at Sif. "Who is this? Your wife?"
Sif's eyes widened. "Wife?" she spluttered. "There is no way I would ever marry this… this…"
"Ah, so not your wife. I take it she dislikes you?" Thranduil asked as Sif continued to stutter as she tried to find words to describe her feelings in regards to marriage to Loki.
Loki threw back his head and laughed. "You might say so. She has threatened to kill me on several occasions."
"So did my wife," Thranduil replied. "Yet, I still married her."
"Well, I have no intentions of marrying that one. That is the Lady Sif, one of my brother's closest friends." Loki performed the introduction with a flourish in Sif's direction. She glared back at him. "And as you can clearly observe, she totally adores me."
"Loki, I do not know how you got me here, but send me back this instant!" Sif stomped up to the god. "And I do not adore you!"
Loki struggled to hold back a laugh. "Why? It seems to be rather an agreeable place… except for the orcs."
"Orcs? What are orcs?" Sif asked.
Loki pointed to the bodies of the orcs he had just killed. "Those are orcs. Recognize them?"
Sif moved closer to look at them. "Ugly, aren't they? They almost make you look good, Loki."
It was Loki's turn to glare at Sif.
"Are all the women of Asgard so feisty?" Thranduil asked.
"Fortunately, no. Just this one."
"Loki, I demand that you send me back this instant! If you have harmed Thor, I will kill you!" Sif snapped.
"See, I told you she has threatened to kill me," Loki grinned, then replied to Sif. "Thor was fine when I last saw him. I was the one dying at the time."
"Dying? Really? You certainly look rather healthy," Sif glared at him.
Loki grinned back at her. "I know, disgusting, isn't it? And you look quite ravishing today, Sif. Did I ever tell you how often I thought that?"
Sif winced. "Just… just… shut up. Are you sure you did not harm Thor?"
Loki sighed. "Our plan did not work as intended. I can only assume he is still alive. I did manage to kill Kurse, but Malekith was able to get the Aether in the end unless Thor figured out a way to stop him after I died… or did not die," he paused, then added with a smirk, "and Jane Foster was very much alive as well when I left them."
Sif frowned at him, clearly disliking the latter part of Loki's explanation. Thranduil noted the expression with interest.
"Well, if you two have finished with your mutual admiration session, I would highly suggest we move out of the open. There are bound to be more orcs still wandering around," Tauriel finally spoke up, having watched the two Asgardians argue with amusement.
"Tauriel is correct. There are still small bands of orcs moving about since the battle," Thranduil added. "Follow me back to my camp at Dale." He glanced at both Asgardians, noting that Sif carried a sword. Bending down, he picked one off of a large man who had fallen during the battle. He extended it towards Loki. "Here, even with your magic, you might find this useful."
Loki accepted it. "Thank you, although I will admit it is not my weapon of choice."
Sif smirked. "See, you ought to have spent less time in the library and more on the training field."
"Indeed? I seem to have faired quite well so far in our many battles despite my lack of time spent training," Loki replied.
They walked swiftly along the lake heading for the town Thranduil had mentioned. As they reached a place where the forest crept up to the waters edge, a small band of orcs emerged. The instant they saw the tiny party of four, they changed directions heading for Thranduil and his group.
Tauriel instantly killed the first one with an arrow through his throat. Sif drew her sword, slicing the second attacker's head from his body. Loki and Thranduil each battled a pair of the orcs, killing them swiftly. Within a minute, all the orcs lay dead around them.
"We had best hurry. There might be more," Tauriel stated as she plucked her arrows out of her victims.
"I am not afraid of a few stray orcs. That was the purpose of our foray into the lands around Dale today," Thranduil replied stiffly, looking down at the she-elf.
"I am sorry, my lord. I should not have spoken so." Tauriel bowed her head slightly.
"See that it does not happen again. My son is no longer around to defend you," Thranduil replied.
"Your son?" Loki asked.
"Yes, Legolas. He left right after Mithrandir and the hobbit. He said he could not return to our realm," Thranduil explained as they resumed their journey back to his camp. "I sent him to find a man called Strider."
"A man? A mortal? You have humans here? And what is a hobbit and a Mithrandir?" Loki asked.
"Yes, we do have mortals. Most of the races of Middle Earth are mortal. Only the elves are immortal. Mithrandir is a who, not a what. He is one of the Istari – a wizard, like you. A hobbit is… a strange race.
Loki heard the derision in the elf's voice. "I am no wizard."
Sif snorted at that remark. "No, but you are a trickster!"
Thranduil looked closer at Loki. "A trickster?"
"Yes, he is always playing tricks upon everyone. And they are not always nice. I am betting that you played a trick on Thor back on Svartalfheim. Didn't you? Left him there, unless I miss my guess. It would not be the first time you have caused him harm. I remember the day he was to be crowned King…"
"That was not me."
"Really?" Sif looked at Loki in disbelief.
"Well, I might have had something to do with it, but Thor would have made a poor king, and you know it." Loki sighed deeply. "I do hope Thor made it out of there alive. The last thing I remember was Thor promising to tell Father about what I had done. I told him I didn't do it for him… then I woke up here."
"Who is this Thor that you keep speaking of?" Tauriel asked.
"My brother, or more precisely, my half-brother," Loki replied.
"You left Thor to die on Svartalfheim?" Sif accused him, going back to what he had said a few seconds previously.
"No, I did not leave him intentionally on Svartalfheim. I was stabbed. Did you not hear me?" Loki replied.
"But…" Sif stared at him, clearly not believing a word he said. "You are standing here – alive."
"Obviously. But do not ask me how. In fact, how did you end up here?" Loki asked.
Sif closed her eyes briefly, thinking. "I was speaking with my brother, in the Bifrost chamber. I had gone to him to ask him if he could see Thor. Then there was a flash, like an explosion, and I ended up here."
"Hmmm… interesting. I wonder if the Convergence has anything to do with all of this?" Loki surmised. "But it still does not explain my lack of a wound or being alive."
"You do always manage to escape death," Sif said wryly.
"For which you are so grateful for," Loki grinned back at her.
"So you are immortal?" The elven king looked at the Prince of Asgard.
"We do die… eventually. Although my father, Odin, is several thousand years old. Battle tends to kill us sooner than old age," Loki answered.
"So your father is called Odin?"
Loki sighed. "Yes, he is my true father as I finally learned."
"Wait!" Sif interrupted. "I thought Thor said you were adopted."
"I was, Frigga is not my mother. She is not the mother of Thor either for that matter. My mother was a Frost Giant of Jotunheim."
"A Frost Giant? What is a Frost Giant?" Tauriel asked, staring curiously at Loki. "You do not appear to be a Giant, for you are a normal size."
"They are the inhabitants of Jotunheim, another of our realms. There are Nine Realms, or at least I thought there were only nine realms. This appears to be the Tenth Realm. I have never read about it before. You must tell me more about your world," Loki replied as they reached the encampment.
"Ten realms?" Thranduil paused at the edge of the camp. Guards stepped aside to allow the elven king and his party to pass. "This sounds like a conversation for dinner."
"Indeed," Loki agreed. "Lead on!"