Chapter 3: Was it the Wine?

Loki leaned back against the cushions of his chair as he finished his dinner. He lifted his glass of wine, swirling it thoughtfully before taking a sip. "An excellent repast, my lord."

Thranduil inclined his head. "Thank you. I have enjoyed our conversation. It is rare to find intelligence such as yours."

Sif rolled her eyes and groaned. "Intelligence?" she muttered under her breath.

Loki shot her a look, clearly having overheard her.

Tauriel quickly asked tossed out a question out, attempting to divert the attention. "Lady Sif, are there many female warriors amongst your kind?"

Sif's eyebrows rose. "Our kind?" Then realizing that the elf wasn't making fun of her, she shook her head. "No, there are few woman really. If need be, the women could rise up and fight, but they are not trained as warriors. Is that true here as well?"

"No, it is much as your people. Most of our women are not warriors," Tauriel replied.

"As it should be. Women should not have to stand to defend our lands," Thranduil stated. "I never did understand why you chose to become one of the guard."

"Legolas, he inspired me. As a child, I saw his expertise with his bow and dreamed to become as good as he," Tauriel replied.

Thranduil's eyebrows rose. "Indeed."

"Personally, I always found warfare tedious. All the training, the blood…" Loki said.

"Yes, you did manage to hide in the library when you were supposed to be training," Sif said, accusing him.

"There are many ways to fight. One does not always require a sword to win a battle," Loki replied quietly.

"Quite true, unfortunately, some enemies do not quite understand words. Orcs, for example," Thranduil said. "They are rather stupid, doing as they are told."

"Yes, there are those that only understand fighting," Loki agreed. He took another sip of his wine. "I must say, this wine is rather excellent."

"It is one from the woodland realm. I refuse to drink the swill the men make," Thranduil finished his, waving for a servant to refill their glasses.

"There are many realms then, in Middle Earth?" Loki asked speculatively.

"No, Loki. No way are you staying here. WE are going back to Asgard," Sif stated.

"You are more than welcome to return. I am finding it rather pleasant here," Loki replied.

Thranduil smiled, pleased that the wizard appeared to be finding the place pleasant. "I welcome your company. You may stay as long as you desire. To have my own wizard would place me among the elite of the powers of Middle Earth."

"I am no wizard…"

"But you have great magic. I have seen it from your staff," Thranduil countered.

"It is true, I do know magic, but I am not a great wizard as you seem to think. I know a few tricks…"

Sif snorted. "Tricks. Right… play a few of your pranks on these people, and they will wish to be rid of you quickly!"

"Sif! I didn't know you care so much about me," Loki smiled at her.

"What tricks does she speak of?" Tauriel asked.

"Well, my favorite one…" Loki rose and walked away from the table. They watched as he moved to stand by the door.

"No, over here," Loki's voice came from behind them.

Thranduil and Tauriel gasped to see two of the gods standing in the room.

"Which one is real?" Tauriel asked.

"Shoot them both with your arrows, and you'll find out quick enough," Sif advised Tauriel. "Loki, really?"

The apparition by the door dissipated as the real Loki stepped out from behind the door. Tauriel shot a look behind her to discover the other Loki was gone. "How did you do that?"

"My brother always falls for that one," Loki said with a laugh as he returned to his seat. "My mother taught me that trick."

Tauriel gasped as she realized the plate in front of her had turned into a bowl filled with snakes.

"Loki! Stop that!" Sif shouted.

"You are a definite sourpuss. I wonder why I brought you along on this trip?" Loki changed the snakes back to the leftovers as he spoke.

"Brought me along?" Sif gasped. "I did not ask to come here. If you brought me here, send me back."

"Would that I could," Loki replied with a grin, "but knowing how much you would miss me, I think I shall keep you here by my side. I might have need of a warrior."

Sif's eyes blazed with anger. Her hand moved down to the hilt of her blade.

"Some more wine, perhaps?" Thranduil interceded.

Sif relaxed back in her seat and nodded. "Might as well."

"Do not sound so excited, Sif; our hosts might get the wrong impression," Loki cocked his head to one side as he looked at her.

"Of all the people to get stuck with, it had to be you!" Sif huffed.

"I know; do you not feel lucky to be with Loki?" Loki tapped his chest with one hand as he raised his glass with the other in salute to himself.

Thranduil threw back his head and laughed. "Lucky with Loki!" He lifted his glass in salute as well. "I am indeed lucky to have found a wizard."

"Then this wizard shall do what little he can to assist you," Loki nodded towards the elven king. For now, he decided he would appear to work with the elf. But, once he figured out the lay of this Middle Earth, he intended to find out how to rule it, or at least a part of it.

Sif sighed, rolling her eyes once more. Disgusted, she took a drink from her glass, deciding to ignore Loki. Turning to speak to Tauriel, she noticed the walls were starting to fade. "What is happening?"

"Have you had too much to drink, Lady Sif?" Thranduil asked solicitously.

"The walls," Sif pointed.

Everyone turned to stare at the wall.

"Yes, there are walls to the tent. Is there a problem…" Loki's voice trailed off as he noticed the walls were shimmering. "Damn! The Bifrost…"

"HEIMDALL!" Sif shouted. "He has found us!"

The rainbow effect of the Bifrost appeared, surrounding the four seated at the table.

"NO!" Loki shouted, trying to rise.

Sif grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving.

The walls disappeared altogether, and they were surrounded by the rainbow colors of the Bifrost as they traveled along it.

"What is happening?" Thranduil shouted, his long hair starting to float around him.

The Bifrost disappeared without warning, leaving them hanging in the air. They plummeted towards the ground.

The hard landing knocked them all unconscious for several seconds. Loki was the first to revive, sitting up gingerly. He winced as he felt pain in his buttocks. He shook his head, looking around.

The others slowly sat up around him. "Where are we?" Sif finally asked.

"Sorry, Sif. It's not Asgard," Loki sighed. "And I almost wish it were."

"Why?" Thranduil asked.

"I am not overly fond of this place… and the people here do not exceptionally like me either," Loki replied.

Sif snorted. "That's nothing new."

"Welcome to Earth." Loki waved his arm, gesturing towards the park where they had landed. Stark Tower could be seen in the distance, but more importantly, four mounted police officers were surrounding them.