Chapter 4: I've got the NYPD Blues

The four mounted police officers closed in on the group. Loki rose from the ground gracefully, indicating that the others should also stand to greet the men. "Let me handle this," he murmured to his companions. Loki considered his options. He knew that he was most likely not a welcome visitor to Earth, let alone New York City. He licked his lips, then smiled up at the mounted officers.

One of the officers whipped out a radio and spoke into it. "Yeah, we got four more of those Halloween leftovers here in the park, with a few bottles of wine and some grapes. Probably having an orgy."

Loki glanced at the ground, seeing three bottles of the good wine they had been drinking had accompanied them on their trip. Then his mind started whirling as the man's words registered. Halloween leftovers. Didn't they realize who he was? This might work out after all.

Static crackled over the radio followed by words. "Still all dressed up for the party?"

"Yeah, one looks like Lookey, you know that dude that tried to take out the city last year? Two elves, like them Hobbit folks, and a Xena Warrior Princess. Looks like a bunch of ren faire rejects with a few bottles of wine."

Sif sniggered. "Princess, I'm a princess… remember that Lookey Loo."

Loki glared at her, the corrected the officer, "Um, that is Loki, not Lookey."

The man stared down at him. "Listen pal, you can call yourself whatever you want. What you can't do, is sleep in the park. Now get moving, or we'll haul your skinny asses into the precinct. You can sleep off your party there if you want."

"Thank you, but no. We were, uh…." Stark Tower in the distance caught his eye once more. "We were actually heading there, to visit Tony Stark – you know, Metal Man?"

"You mean Iron Man? You know him?" A second officer spoke up.

"Yes, we are acquainted," Loki replied, stretching the truth a bit.

"What's your name and who're your friends?" the first officer asked, whipping out a note pad. His horse stomped impatiently.

"I am Loki of Asgard, as you so correctly surmised. This is the Lady Sif, also of Asgard…"

"Cut the BS… what are your real names?" the officer interrupted.

Loki's mind whirled furiously, trying to come up with an Earth-sounding name. He finally chose names from those he had met. "Nick… Nick Barton."

"Ok, Nick. Now, you claim to know Tony Stark, right?" The officer continued to write notes on his pad.

"Yes, I have visited him on a few occasions," Loki replied blandly.

The officer spoke into his radio again. "One of them claims to know Tony Stark."

"He knows Stark? For real or is he just pulling your leg?" the voice on the radio replied.

"How do I know? Ain't like I can call Stark. Why don't you?" the officer shot back.

"Call Stark Towers. If he really knows Stark, we don't want an incident," the voice on the radio advised.

"Fine…" the officer took out his cell phone. "Anyone know the phone number?" Then he looked at Loki. "Wait, since you're his friend, why don't you call him?"

"I, uh…" Loki thought quickly. 'What was it that Barton had called those things they talked on?' "I seem to have misplaced my phone cell."

"You mean… Cell… Phone…" the officer spoke slowly. "Drunks…" he muttered under his breath.

"We are not drunk. We only had a few glasses of wine with our dinner," Thranduil spoke up.

"I didn't ask you, pointy ears," the officer rebuked the elven king.

Thranduil looked astonished. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, now shut up while we get this sorted out." He held his cell phone out to Loki. "Here, use mine."

Loki did not take it, just stared at the man. "That was rude. Do you know who he is?"

"I don't care who he is, Lookey. Now, take my phone and call your buddy Tony Stark," the officer insisted.

"It is Loki, and I do not have his number memorized," Loki replied, crossing his arms in front of his body.

"Good lord. This is not my day," the officer complained. "Fine, stupid people can't remember telephone numbers. When I was younger…"

"Yeah, but Jim, remember, these cell phones… I don't even know my own phone number. I just tell it to dial home," the third officer finally spoke up.

"Fine… I will call Stark Towers myself." The officer proceeded to punch in some numbers and held the phone to his ear. His gaze wandered to the sky as he waited for someone to pick up. "Hello, this is Officer Pruitt of the NYPD. I'm here in Central Park, and we ran across some folks here that claim they know Tony Stark… sure, I can hang on." He held the phone away and spoke to the group. "He's going to go get Miss Potts. Hello? Yes, Miss Potts? Sorry to bother you ma'am, but we got a four folks down here in Central Park, and one of them claims that he knows you and Mr. Stark."

The officer nodded as he listened to Miss Potts. "Right, he says his name is Lookey… yeah, Loki, right. Listen, I'm going to put this on speaker, is that okay with you?" He pushed a button and Pepper Potts' voice erupted from the phone. "What on Earth is Loki doing here?"

"It is rather complicated, Miss Potts," Loki replied.

"Loki? Is that really you?" Stark's voice was heard now.

"Ah, Tony Stark… yes, it is truly me."

"What the hell are you doing back here? Are you insane?" Stark's voice shouted. "JARVIS! Get a camera on Central Park and see what's going on."

"Yes, sir."

"No. Actually, I had no intentions of coming here…"

"So you know these dudes? Shall I send them over to Stark Tower? We can't have them loitering in the park," The officer broke in.

There was silence from the other end of the phone for several seconds, and then Tony came back on the line. "Damn, it really is you. Yes, send them over."

"You know how to get there?" the officer asked.

"May we borrow your horses?" Thranduil spoke up again.

The officer glared at him.

"I take that as a 'No'."

"You got that right, pointy-ears," the officer put his cell phone and note pad away. "Ok, boys. We're done here." As he turned he horse away, he shouted over his shoulder. "And don't leave that wine out there. Have to ticket you for littering if you do."

Loki reached down and picked up one of the bottles. "Rather curious how this came with and nothing else."

Tauriel and Sif picked up the remaining bottles.

Loki grinned. "At least we will have a gift for our generous host. Onward!"