Chapter 8: Of Cabbages and Kings
The quartet entered the booksellers with the confidence only those born to rule would ever employ. A few patrons looked up, then returned to their business.
One employee left her post to approach the party. "Good afternoon, ladies, and gentlemen. You must be here for the book signing party!" She glanced at her watch. "But you are a bit early. It doesn't start until 5 o'clock. Would you like to visit our café?"
"Party?" Thranduil looked at her. "To sign a book? Why would you have a party for that?" He spoke in his most autocratic voice.
The employee just grinned wider in response. "Wow! You've got Pace down pat! I'd almost believe I was meeting the real King Thranduil!" she gushed.
"You are meeting the real King Thranduil." He stared down his nose at her.
Tauriel sniggered in the background.
"Yeah, right. If you say so," she chuckled. "Anyways, we're doing the book signing back there at 5 o'clock," she pointed to a section of the bookstore where one long table was set out with a stack of books upon it. "I'll bet you guys win the costume contest. These outfits are the bomb!"
"The bomb?" Loki asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Right, like in, way cool, you know?" She looked at him curiously.
"Not really, but if you insist."
"Who are you? I don't remember you in the movies… wait! You're doing Thor's brother, right? The tall, hunky blond dude," the clerk sighed ecstatically. "I wish I could have met him when he was here."
"Yes, Thor is my brother," Loki sighed. "Or half-brother to be exact."
"Hunky, blond dude?" Sif snickered, and then nudged Loki in the ribs. "Guess you know who the mortals prefer, eh Loki?"
"Ha ha ha ha!" the clerk laughed. "Right, anyways, since you are early, I mean, we weren't really expecting anyone to show up for a few more hours, would you like to visit the café? Or read some magazines?"
"Actually, King Thranduil desires to read a book called 'The Hobbit'. Do you happen to have one?" Loki asked.
"You're kidding, right?" The clerk laughed. "Do we have that book? Only about sixty different copies since the movies came out."
"Yes, we watched the movies earlier today at Tony Stark's place. That is why we have come here. Jarvis informed us a man called Toller, or Tooker, or something like that loosely based the movies on some books. There were several inconsistencies within the movies, and I wished to see if the books were incorrect as well," Thranduil said, an imperious tone in his voice.
"Incorrect? Um, you do know they are fiction, right? Not real," the clerk said.
"We just wish to read the books, while we wait for this book signing, please. By the way, what is the book signing about? What book? Is this Tollhouse going to be here?" Loki responded, finally deciding the clerk thought they were not real.
"Tolkien, Professor Tolkien, but he died a long time ago. No, this is one of the extras in the movies. They were in all three LOTR movies and all three Hobbit movies. I wish I coulda been so lucky. To meet Orlando Bloom, and Viggo, and Lee Pace…" the clerk sighed dreamily. Shaking her head, she continued. "Anyways, they wrote a book about their experiences. Isn't that why you're here?"
"Um, right. That is why we are here. But until this person shows up, we'd like to look over the Hobbit books, please," Loki repeated.
"Oh, right. This way." The clerk led the way to a section of the bookshop and removed several copies of 'The Hobbit' from the shelves. "Did you wish to purchase one? Or do you want to look through them first?"
Loki peered at the stack of books. "These are all the same book?"
"No, these here are different editions of 'The Hobbit', and these are the books from the trilogy," she explained the difference.
"Trilogy? That is the one that is after the Hobbit, correct?" Thranduil asked, then went on when the clerk nodded. "How did this Tolbert know so much? I still cannot believe a hobbit brought down Sauron."
"I know, right? Frodo was so brave, and Sam too," the clerk smiled. "Anyways, did you wish to purchase any of these? I can ring you up and …"
"We'll take all of them," Loki brandished a credit card Jarvis had handed him before they left Stark Tower.
"All… all? All of them?" the clerk gasped. Not waiting for them to change their mind, she grabbed the credit card from Loki's hand and raced over to a cash register. She brought a scanner over and quickly rang up the sale. Handing Loki the receipt, she smiled broadly. "Thank you so much. Can I get you something to drink while you read?"
"Wine, please," Thranduil had already picked up one of the books and was skimming through it.
"Um, we don't serve wine…"
"Why not?" Thranduil asked. "You asked what I wanted to drink, and I told you; now see to it at once!"
"What is the problem, Shelly?" Another woman approached. "I do hope Shelly has seen to your needs. I am Marta, the store manager."
"Oh, well, they just bought all these books," Shelly's hands swept over the pile of books in front the group. "They were going to wait for Mr. Tomason's book signing. Aren't their costumes the best ever? Anyways, I asked if I could get them something to drink and the one that looks like Thranduil requested wine…"
"I do not just LOOK like Thranduil; I AM Thranduil," the elven king interrupted. "Now, can you simply get some wine?"
"I am sorry, um, Thrandoll, but we do not serve wine in our bookstore, at least not most days. We do sometimes have wine tastings… " Marta shrugged.
Tauriel sniggered hearing the mispronunciation of the king's name. "Thrandoll," she muttered to Sif. "It does rather suit him."
"Well, I wish to taste wine, so see to it!" Thranduil returned to skimming through the book, assuming the issue was closed.
"I would suggest you get him some wine. He can get a bit testy if you don't do as he asks," Loki whispered to Marta, handing her the credit card.
Marta looked at the pile of books they had just purchased, then the credit card. Her eyes widened upon seeing Stark's name on it. "You are friends with Mr. Stark?" Loki nodded. "I suppose I can make an exception. Shelly? Would you run across the street and purchase a bottle of wine for them?" She held the credit card out to the clerk.
Shelly took the credit card. "I'll be right back then."
"If you need anything else, just let us know," Marta excused herself and returned to her office.
Ten minutes later, Shelly returned with two bottles of wine and four glasses. "Here you go. I hope you like this, it's one of my favorites." She opened one bottle and poured each person a glass. "Now, is there anything else I can get you?"
Thranduil looked up. "Food. Some cheese or fruit would be nice."
"At once!" Shelly took off once more.
"Strange, these mortals. Keeping books in a stable, although it is rather clean. Where are the horses, I wonder?" Thranduil bent his head over the book once more.