Chapter 9: Hashtag Elfie Selfies
"Sir? I believe I have located Mr. Loki and his companions."
"You believe you have found them, Jarvis? Do tell," Stark snapped.
"A rather large purchase was made at the Barnes & Noble store near Times Square using your credit card."
"MY credit card? And precisely how did they obtain my credit card?"
"It seemed prudent to not allow them out without some form of cash. I did not believe they would understand our currency."
"Correct. They don't use currency in Asgard to the best of my knowledge, nor in Middle Earth I am fairly certain," Stark sighed.
The telephone rang. "Sir? I have a Ms. Marta Nielson on the telephone. She is the store manager from Barnes & Nobles and wishes to confirm the in-store purchases."
Stark grabbed the phone off the table and punched a button. "Ms. Nielson? I am so… yes, yes. That is my credit card. They purchased what? Fine, yes, just…keep them there. I will send a car to pick them up at once. What? You want them to stay? Fine… Okay."
Stark set the phone down. "Jarvis! Have my car brought around front."
"At once, sir."
"A ring? That silly hobbit has THE ring? Tauriel, we must get back at once!" Thranduil snapped the book shut. "If I can find that little hobbit before Gandalf figures it out, I can be the one to save Middle Earth and defeat Sauron. We have got to get back at once!"
"All well and good, but how do we get back?" Tauriel pointed out, nibbling on a scone from the café. "Though I'm not so sure I want to go back. This beats lembas bread by a long shot! Try one."
"Loki? You have to help us," Thranduil rose from his seat, ignoring Tauriel's comment. He glanced down at the stack of things the Asgardian prince was reading. "What are you reading? These appear to be mere rags, not books."
"Shelly brought them over. Says they are called comic books," Loki held one up. "Check this one out, it's all about me… sort of."
Thranduil flipped through the comic book, looking at the pages, then back up at the god. "Does not resemble you at all… well, except for the colors. Who is this woman?"
Loki sniggered when he saw that Thranduil was pointing to a picture of his brother. "That is my brother, Thor."
"Your brother is a woman?" Thranduil looked confused.
"According to this comic book," Loki sniggered.
"OH MY GOD! Check these dudes out," A woman's voice squealed. "Doesn't he look just like Thranduil?"
"That is because I am Thranduil," the elven king stared at the three women who had wandered over to the area they were in.
"Oooh… he even sounds like him," a second woman replied, then started to rummage in her purse. "Damn! Of all days to leave my selfie stick at home. Megan? You've gotta take a picture of me with him." She tossed her cell phone to the third woman.
"Got it!" Megan grabbed the camera and held it up as her friend darted up close to Thranduil and turned to look at her friend. "Hang on… let me get in the picture…"
"Me too!" the first woman slid in alongside Megan. "You don't mind, do you? But gosh… you look so much like Thranduil. That costume is awesome."
"Everyone smile!" Megan was holding the camera at arm's length as she snapped a picture. "An elfie selfie! Here's your camera, Jess."
"I'm going to tweet this… #Elfie Selfie at B&N." Jess started punching buttons on her camera.
Several others and heard the commotion in the corner of the store and wandered over to see what was going on. Shelly was grinning, motioning people over towards Thranduil. "Yes, wait'll you see their costumes! Book signing will start in ten minutes, and voting for the costumes too."
People began crowding around Thranduil. "Can I get my picture with you too?"
A bemused Thranduil simply nodded. "What is this elfie selfie?" He asked Loki over the heads of the various women who were standing in line to get their picture taken with him.
Loki shrugged. "No clue."
Jess stared hard at Loki. "WOW! How did I miss you?" She started to fan her face rapidly. "I have died and gone to Asgard! Megan? Get over here! Doesn't he look just like Loki?"
Loki suddenly found himself surrounded by a gaggle of girls, all clamoring to get a selfie with him. "Ladies… please…"
Tauriel and Sif were standing in the background, watching the women practically pawing over the two men. "He'll be impossible to live with after this," Sif remarked. "Thor was always the one the women flocked to before."
Tauriel laughed. "Really? What's he look like?"
"Tall, blond, big muscles," Sif replied.
"Hmmm… sounds like someone I'd like to meet," Tauriel grinned back.
Stark pulled up to the bookstore, discovering a line waiting to enter. "What the hell?"
"It would appear that someone has discovered our guests and tweeted their location, an elfie selfie, sir," Jarvis' voice sounded in his ear.
"Elfie selfie?" Stark stepped out of the car.
A policeman walked up. "I'm sorry, sir, but you can't park here. You'll need to… OH… Mr. Stark," the man suddenly recognized him. "I am so sorry. Are you here to meet those actors too?"
"Uh, no. Not exactly…" Tony tossed the keys to the officer. "Keep an eye on it, will you?"
He entered the store, discovering a huge crowd had gathered in the back section. He approached the cashier. "I'm looking for two guys… tall," he held his hand up to indicate the height. "One blond and one dark. With two women. Dressed kind of oddly."
"Ah, you mean the cosplayers. They are the hit of the book signing. So glad they came. You here to get a selfie too?" the cashier asked.
"Um, no. I'm here to take them home," Stark replied. "My guests, sort of."
"Mr. Stark!" A voice behind him chimed. "I am the store manager, we spoke on the phone earlier."
Tony turned to face the woman. "Right. They haven't been too much trouble, have they?"
"No, in fact, thank you for sending them here. Since the first selfie got tweeted, things have been hopping. We have never had such a turnout for a book before. This is fantastic. Our sales have been excellent. Of course, their purchases have helped as well," Marta nodded towards where a stack of books was being packed up. "Would you like these sent to your tower?"
"Please," Tony removed his sunglasses and walked back towards the crowd.
"Ah, metal man!" Loki greeted him. "You are back from your trip, I see."
"Yes, what the hell are you guys doing here?" Stark asked.
"Thranduil insisted we find the books that those movies were based on. Now he wants to go back and find a hobbit thing with a ring," Loki replied as another woman wrapped her arms around his waist and held out her phone to snap a photo.
"Okie dokie Loki! Thanks!" the woman held her phone up so Loki could see the picture.
"Nice, I am certain."
"Oh my god! You gotta tweet it that way, Em!" the woman's friend giggled. "#Okie dokie Loki… that is just TOO cute! Don't you think so?" She grinned up at Loki. "Damn, you are so hot."
"Right…" Loki laughed dismissively.
"Okie dokie Loki?" Sif smirked. "Wait till I tell that one to Thor!"
Loki glared at her.
"Listen, boys," Stark included Thranduil in his comment. "We need to leave…"
"I am sorry, but this lady has invited us to dine at her place," Thranduil indicated a woman who was standing by his side, beaming up at him.
Stark rolled his eyes. "That is not a good idea…"
"Oh, please… Oh my god, ohmygod, ohmygod! It's Tony Stark!" The woman suddenly realized who he was.
"But is it MY book signing! Who the hell do these dudes think they are? Loki and Thranduil?" a mousy looking woman shouted about the noise.
"And who, exactly, are you?" Tony asked her.
"Mary Carter," the woman held up a book. "The author of this book… 'My trip to Middle Earth'. I was IN the movies… all SIX of them!"
Tony stared at her. "Really? As what? A dwarf?"
A snigger erupted from the crowd.
The woman glared at him. "I was an extra. I played a hobbit most of the time, but I also filled in as an orc in a few scenes."
"You are far too short to be an orc," Thranduil stared at her.
"How the hell would you know?" Mary demanded.
"Because I have killed more than my share of them. You are no orc!"
"Boys, really… I think we need to leave now," Stark spoke up.
"And just who are you? Some goofy nerd dressed up like Thranduil. Honestly, this wig is so cheesy!" Mary reached out and grabbed a handful of Thranduil's hair and pulled hard.
"Get your hands off him!" Mary suddenly found herself being confronted by an angry she-elf… WITH a bow and arrow. And the arrow was pointed directly at her head.