Chapter 12: An Unexpected Journey

"What the hell was that?" Tony jumped up from his seat. "Jarvis!"

"I'm checking on it, sir."

"Well, check faster!"

Tauriel scanned the table for anything she could use for a weapon. Her hand reached out and grabbed the steak knife. "Why did I leave my bow in that limo?" she moaned.

"I know what you mean." Sif was armed with a steak knife as well. She'd also grabbed a fork to add to her arsenal.

The two women raced toward the sound of the explosion.

Loki grinned. "Ah, I always love a good fight. Shall we join them?" he asked Thranduil.

"Might as well. Would hate to have them be the heroes. Though I do miss my sword," Thranduil replied.

"This one?" Loki reached down and picked up a sword, handing it to the elven king.

Thranduil grinned. "I had almost forgotten you were Istari."

Loki shrugged. "If you insist. Should I arm the ladies?"

Thranduil glanced at Sif and Tauriel. "Probably. Those tiny daggers will not be very helpful if the enemy is large."

Loki laughed. "I am half tempted to see them battle with the silverware, but I agree."

He waved his hand and Tauriel's bow and Sif's sword appeared and clattered to the floor. "Oh Sif!" Loki's singsong tone caused the warrior goddess to turn, a scowl forming on her face.

"What?"

Loki just pointed down towards the weapons.

Sif grinned. "Thanks!" She lifted her sword up in one hand and grabbed Tauriel's bow in another. Turning, she raced to catch up to the she-elf.

Loki's tuxedo disappeared to be replaced with his Asgardian battle armor. He glanced at Thranduil, and with another flick of his wrist, the elven king was wearing the battle armor he had been wearing when he first met Loki.

By now, the other patrons of the restaurant had started screaming. Seeing weapons appearing and four of the Stark group rising up fully armed, pandemonium ensued. Stark's party was completely bemused.

"Is this part of the show?" One lady asked.

"I dunno, I guess. Can't complain, can you? Free dinner, a new outfit, and a show?"

"Yeah, especially with hunks like them!"

"Sir," Jarvis' voice chimed in Tony's ear.

"What did you find out?"

"The explosion is similar to the event that caused your recent guests to appear. I would expect it is part of this convergence Loki was talking about. I cannot tell what has appeared, but I would expect the worst."

"Right. I need a suit Jarvis, like right now."

"It is on its way, sir." Seconds later, metal pieces of Tony's Iron Man suit came flying through the restaurant.

The wait staff began circulating, attempting to calm customers, but pandemonium was rampant. People were shrieking and starting to run towards the exits when a loud sound in the kitchens silenced everyone.

Seconds later, a Uruk Berserker came racing into the room, shouting his war cry.

"Yrch!" Tauriel pulled out an arrow and strung her bow. Her arrow flew through the air and hit the orc in the arm.

"You missed," Loki commented.

Sif raised her sword, advancing on the creature. The Berserker swung out his fist, catching Sif on the side of her head, slamming her into the wall.

A flash of blue appeared, and the Berserker fell to the floor stunned. Everyone turned to see the source. Loki calmly stood there, his scepter pointed toward the creature. "That should keep him quiet for a few minutes."

Thranduil raced up to the orc and sliced his head off in one smooth motion with his sword. "And that should silence him forever." He walked over to Sif, offering his hand so she could stand.

Stark walked slowly over to investigate the fallen orc. He kicked the creature, making sure it was dead. "What the hell is this?"

"A berserker. One of Saruman's spawn if I am to believe that movie I watched last night," Thranduil answered. "More importantly, how did it get here?"

"Jarvis said there was another event, similar to the disturbance that brought you guys here," Stark replied. "I wonder…" he glanced at their table and noticed Pepper was missing along with Mary, the author of the book that had been in their party. "Pepper? Jarvis! Where is Pepper?"

"I am sorry, sir. I cannot locate her."

"Well, she is missing along with that nutty lady from the book shop."

"She was not a nutty lady," one woman protested. "She was in those movies…"

"I don't care if she made the movies," Tony cut her off. "She is missing along with Miss Potts."

"Perhaps they went to where this thing came from?" Loki suggested. "I wonder, was this the only thing that traveled here?" He exchanged a look with Thranduil.

"Shall we see?" Thranduil pushed the kitchen door opened and entered. Loki followed him in.

"I'm a Baggins! Now get your hands off me. Don't tell me you have never seen a hobbit before!"

"Bilbo Baggins?" Thranduil asked, completely astonished to see the hobbit standing in the midst of a pile of spilled potatoes, peppers, and onions. Three cooks trying to push him out of the cooking ingredients.

"Thranduil! Fancy meeting you here. I thought you had returned home. And where are we? Other than in a kitchen, I recognize that much at least. Although I must say it is a rather strange kitchen, even yours were not quite so… shiny." Bilbo stated. "And who is that? And what happened to Gandalf?"

"You didn't happen to see a tall, gorgeous blond… did you?" Tony asked.

"I am frightfully sorry, but the only tall blonds I have seen recently are that one," Bilbo pointed to Thranduil, "and his son, Legolas. If your tastes happen to swing that way…"

"No! No no no… I meant a female, uh, a human woman. My girlfriend disappeared when you showed up along with that disgusting creature they killed back in there," Tony corrected the hobbit quickly.

"Oh, well then, no. I did not see any tall, blond humans, and I did not see any creatures. It was just me that arrived here. Where exactly is here?" Bilbo scanned the kitchens quickly. "Not Mirkwood – too shiny for that, but I do believe I already stated that fact."

"Are you insulting my home?" Thranduil asked, a menacing tone lacing his voice. "You did enjoy quite a bit of my hospitality and did not bother to complain then."

"Hospitality? You call that hospitality? Food was good, I shall grant you that, but the accommodations were a bit sparse," Bilbo retorted. "Now, where is that confounded Gandalf? I want to get back to my hobbit hole."

"I am sorry, but the only wizard here is Loki," Thranduil gestured towards the god of mischief.

Loki bowed. "A pleasure to meet you in person. I must say, the movie did not do you justice."

"Movie?" Bilbo looked confused.

"Yes, the one where you found the Ring," Loki explained.

"How do you know…?" Bilbo suddenly disappeared.

"He has THE RING still!" Thranduil crowed. "Bilbo Baggins, show yourself at once! I want that ring. If I have it and take it back, they will recognize me for the great king that I am!"

"What if it was the convergence acting up again, and not the ring?" Tony asked.

"It has to be the Ring. We saw in the movie, and read in those silly books that he has the One Ring," Thranduil insisted. "Although they did get quite a few things wrong."

"Wrong? What did they get wrong?" The bookstore ladies had filed into the kitchen to see what was going on. "Tolkien is a great writer, you know. I will agree that PJ didn't quite follow the books precisely, but…"

"Well, for one, Mirkwood is not such a dark and dreary place. Ask Bilbo if you do not believe me. And Haldir does not die," Thranduil said.

"I knew it!"

"Maeve, you've never read the books. If you had, you'd of known Haldir doesn't die."

"But we can't ask Bilbo, he's not here."

"He was, but he just disappeared," Stark explained.

A loud banging erupted from the closed pantry in the back corner. "Let me out of here!" Bilbo's voice squeaked.

"Loki?" Sif glared at the god of mischief. "You didn't… did you?"

"Do what?" Loki asked innocently.

"If you are behind his disappearance, I'll… I'll…" Sif struggled to figure out what exactly she would do.

"Kill me?" Loki smirked. "You're too late. I'm already dead… again, I think. Second time, to be precise. First time was when I fell off the Bifrost, then Kurse stabbed me."

"But you are here! Worse than a cat with nine lives," Sif growled.

"Hmmm, he does have the most gorgeous green eyes… just like my kitty cat," Maeve commented.

"See, some people do like me. Can't you like me just a little bit, Lady Sif?" Loki put on his most charming smile, his eyes glittering with mischief as he closed in on the raven-haired beauty.

"Get away from me, you oaf. Now, is that Bilbo back there?" Sif pushed him away.

Tony had already opened the pantry door and the hobbit tumbled out covered in flour.

Rising to his feet, Bilbo dusted himself off, sneezing as the flour tickled his nose. He stared up at Thranduil. "How do you know about the Ring?"

"I watched the movie," the elf king replied bluntly.

"You shall have to explain this movie thing to me, but…" Bilbo was interrupted by loud pounded at the delivery door.

"Now who the hell is that?" Tony asked. He looked at the door. A flash of blond hair appeared in the tiny window. "Pepper?" He raced to the door and pulled it open.

Legolas raced in. "Father!"

"Legolas?" Thranduil stared at his son in astonishment. "How did you get here?"

"I do not know. Gimli and I had just departed Fanghorn Forest to head to Moria…"

"Gimlet?" Loki cut him off. "What is a gimlet?"

"It is a drink; gin and lime juice. You have to try one while you're here," Stark replied.

"I seem to recall you still owe me a drink," Loki reminded him.

"Who is this?" Legolas stared at Loki.

"This is our wizard!" Thranduil said proudly. "I discovered him after the battle, after you took off refusing to return home. But I agree with Loki, who is Gimli?"

"I am Gimli, son of Glóin," a short, stout figure announced from the open doorway. "This is your father?"

A loud roar sounded from the alleyway. Legolas grabbed Gimli and jerked him into the kitchens. "Beware the oliphaunt!"

Tony peered outside, recognizing the sound at once. "Uh, Legolas… that's not an oliphaunt… at least I do not believe it is. What is an oliphaunt by the way?"

Thranduil joined him at the door. "No, that is a limo. They are vehicles that convey you around this world. They serve champagne as well. You still have not explained your presence here, with a dwarf no less!"

"Actually, that is not a limo, Thranduil. It is a garbage truck," Tony corrected the elven king.

The garbage truck screeched to a halt, a hissing sound as the airbrakes released pressure. A loud roar sounded as the front loader lowered to the dumpster in the alley, lifting it up overhead to deposit the contents into the hopper. A bottle of fell out of the dumpster as it tilted overhead. The bottle rolled across the alley to end up at the feet of Thranduil.

The elf retrieved the bottle and held it up. "Really? Are you certain metal man?" The bottle was an empty bottle of brut champagne.