AN: On with the story and we see where Bella's life is going

My thanks as always to MeteorOnAMoonlessNigh and annaharding for their hard work

Disclaimer: SM owns it, I play with her characters

A Little Piece of My Heart

Summary

After moving to San Francisco for her dream job, Bella lives her life to the fullest, even though a little piece of her heart is missing. It's small enough to be missed but large enough to know something is missing.

A story of not knowing what you have until it's almost too late.

Chapter 4

A heavy body lying across mine and pressing on my bladder brought me to awareness. I blinked my eyes open, seeing glass above my head. A shaft of sunlight flashed into the room, almost blinding me. It took me a few minutes to be able to open my eyes again and I realized that I was lying on the floor with my head underneath the coffee table and the weight on me was Jess.

Memories of the previous evening invaded my head, and I raised my hands to push my hair out of my face and rub my eyes. After my confession and crying, Jess had brought out a bottle of Grey Goose from the freezer, and the empty bottle lay on its side on the coffee table in front of me.

I groaned out loud as the headache and nausea arrived. Pushing Jess off my lap, I crawled out from underneath the coffee table and stood before lurching for the bathroom. I made it just in time to bring up most of the alcohol I drank. Not feeling much better, I stood and rinsed my mouth out with a handful of water before flushing the toilet. After I had emptied my bladder, I washed my face and brushed my teeth.

Feeling marginally better, I made my way back to the living room and shook Jess's shoulder. "Just five more minutes, Mom," she muttered before turning over. I sniggered and left her there, heading into the kitchen to put together coffee.

By the time the coffee was ready, Jess was standing in the kitchen doorway yawning. She shuffled over to the breakfast bar and sat with her head in her hands. "Why did we drink all the vodka last night, B?" she groaned and laid her head on her folded arms.

"Once you've thrown up you'll be fine, Jess, or you can risk taking this Advil and some juice and pray it stays down. You want eggs for breakfast?"

I laughed as she ran for the bathroom, placing the promised Advil and a glass of fresh orange juice on the counter. Then I rummaged through the fridge for the makings for french toast and there was even some bacon, which was much more palatable.

"How are you feeling this morning, Bella?"

I whirled around to see Jess fresh from the shower, looking way too good for how she must be feeling. "Shit, Jess, you frightened the life out of me. Couldn't you wear a bell or something to warn me?"

She laughed. "Where's the fun in that? It always amazes me how you can be so unaware."

"Part of the job, I guess. I get so involved in messing about with photos that I create a bubble around me. Just as well with the office I work in. It's so noisy."

"Way to avoid the subject, Bella. Come on, spill. What's going through your head? What are you going to do about Edward?"

Jess didn't push me for an answer right away. She knew me so well, and it took time for me to get my head around things. It wasn't until we were tucking into french toast with strawberries and bacon that I broached the subject again. "Edward's not back until Wednesday evening, and I'm going to talk to him. He has to understand how he made me feel the other night, just walking away to speak to Kate. At the very least, I deserve an apology. I have the feeling that if we just brush it all under the carpet, it might just break the best friend relationship we have going on. I've spent most of the last five years sharing an apartment with the guy, and I really don't want to lose what we have."

"How do you feel about it; about Edward?" Jess was insistent. "You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with him."

"I think there's something there that might have developed given enough time—and I mean might—but it doesn't matter, not if he's with Kate. Shit, he left me hanging on the sofa on Thursday and practically ran from the room when she called. If we'd had longer, and if she hadn't come back into the picture, then maybe we could have made something out of it, but it's a moot point, Jess. They're together, and I can't blame him for everything; I was there, too." She opened her mouth to speak, but I pressed my fingers against her lips. "And before you mention love, no, I don't love him—at least not that way. I'm not in denial; just being truthful and realistic."

The room was silent except for the sound of flatware on the plates. "Where should we go tonight, Bella? How about that new club, Eclipse? It's only been open a month and I've heard some good things about it." That's what I loved about Jess—when a subject was done, she moved on to something else.

"Sounds good. I brought that short black dress with me—you know, the one with the sequined bodice— and those beautiful red-soled Louboutins. I paid a lot of money for those shoes, and I intend to get as much wear out of them as I can. What about you?

"Hmm, I don't know. How about we go shopping? I feel like I've worn everything, and this is a new club. Maybe I'll meet the love of my life tonight."

"Well, I could do with some fancy lingerie. It'll give me some courage to be honest with Edward, too. Come on, I'm going to shower; ready in an hour?" She nodded and poured herself a fresh coffee while I headed for the bathroom.

Despite the situation with Edward hanging over my head, Jess and I had a fabulous time at the new club, drinking and dancing until the early hours of Sunday morning. Neither of us made any effort to spend time with anyone except ourselves; I wasn't in the right frame of mind to get involved with anyone, even on a one-evening basis, and Jess had obviously decided the love of her life could wait.

We spent most of Sunday lying around in our pajamas, eating pizza and popcorn while watching an afternoon of Friends reruns. Edward wasn't mentioned at all, Jess staying true to my wishes of leaving the subject alone. As darkness fell, we said our goodbyes and I headed back to my apartment, now glad that I'd have a little bit of time on my own to work out what I needed to say to him when he came home on Wednesday.

~ oOo ~