Chapter 22: Thank you, thank you very much!
An hour passed, with no sign of Pepper or Tony's return.
"I say we investigate this Bell of Geo," Thranduil had grown bored watching the Big Bang Theory. He was currently lounging on one of the large, overstuffed sofas. There were bags of chips littering the table next to him, and his wine glass was noticeably empty.
Walter, still glued to the television, barely glanced up. "Bellagio, not Bell of Geo. Whaddaya want to do?"
"Well, what is in the lower levels of this palace?" Thranduil asked.
"Just shows, and restaurants, and slot machines," Walter replied. "I don't have no money, so can't gamble."
"Restaurants?" Thranduil sat up. "Do they serve real food?" He picked up one of the bags of chips with two fingers, looking disdainfully at it. "THIS is worse than orc dung."
"Hmmm, I dunno what orc dung is, but it sounds nasty," Walter glanced over at Thranduil. "What about the cheese and crackers? Did you eat all of them?"
Thranduil rolled his eyes. "Hours ago. That was barely enough to tide an elfling for an hour, let alone me."
"Explain this gambling," Loki inquired, lifting one eyebrow up. He'd spent the past hour reading the various brochures and booklets that was scattered about the room.
Walter shut the television off and turned to look at them. "Well, there are a bunch of ways to gamble, but basically you're betting your money that you'll win their money."
"What does one bet upon?" Thranduil asked.
"All depends, I mean, there are tables, and slots, and sports books… Lissen, it can't hurt if we go down and look around. We can leave a note for Tony, let him know we went downstairs. And we can get some food too."
The four men rode the elevator down to the casino level. The noise overwhelmed them the instant the doors slid open. Bells were ringing as slots spun wildly, lights flashing and people shouting as they crowded around the tables.
"This way!" Walter moved easily through the crowds, no doubt because Heimdall was following immediately behind him. Loki and Thranduil brought up the rear, pausing often to watch the spinning wheels of the slots.
"Interesting," Loki commented. "They seen so transfixed by these machines."
"Indeed, an army could march through here and decimate thousands I do not believe they would notice," Thranduil remarked.
"Hey! Susan! There you are. I've been looking all over for you," a large woman cut them off as she practically tackled a woman sitting at one of the slots.
The Prince and the King stepped back; afraid she'd wallop them with her huge purse.
"She appears to be very well armed," Loki smirked.
"We might be dead if you hadn't noticed her. She would have run us down," Thranduil replied.
The woman grabbed Susan's arm. "Come on. We're going to be late for the first set at the Elvis concert."
"Elvish concert?" A look of horror overtook Thranduil's face. "Elrond and Galadriel are not here, are they?"
The woman overheard that remark. She looked at the two men. "Seriously? I don't know who this Eldriel dude is, is he one of the impersonators? I don't remember seeing his name on the list."
"Impersonators?" Thranduil asked.
"Yeah, for the Elvis Impersonators Convention. Are you guys here for that? If so, you'd better hurry or you'll miss the first set," she returned her focus on her friend. "Susan, we gotta go… now!"
"All right, all right, don't get your panties in a knot Mattie, I'm coming," Susan punched a button on the slot machine and a receipt printed out. She briefly scanned it and grimaced. "Guess I'd better go. These slots ain't paying tonight," she grumbled. "You boys coming too?"
Loki and Thranduil exchanged a glance. "It will be nice to see some elves," Thranduil commented.
"Elvis, not elves," Mattie corrected them quickly.
"What is an elvis?" Loki asked.
"You ain't never heard of Elvis?" Susan asked; she looked Loki over closely. "You'd make a great one if you did your hair a bit different like." She pointed to a poster on the wall they were passing that advertised the convention. There were several photos of Elvis Presley through the years. "See, like that. Can you sing?"
"Depends upon whom you ask," Loki replied, he paused to look at the poster.
Susan laughed. "I hear ya on that. But if you could sing, I'd bet you could win the competition. Ain't none of the good guys here tonight."
"Competition?" Loki inquired.
"Yeah, they're having one every night during the convention. Being that it's just the first night, most of the good guys ain't here yet, but…" Susan cocked her head to one side. "If we could find you an outfit… you'd look halfway decent. What do you think Mattie?"
Mattie stared at Loki a few seconds. "Yeah, he ain't bad."
Heimdall appeared at Loki's side, with Walter trailing along behind him. "My lord, we thought we had lost you."
"He with you?" Mattie asked, looking over the tall guardian of the Bifrost with very appreciative eyes. "You free later tonight?"
"Yes, he is with me, he is my – ah - body guard," Loki replied. He was staring at the poster. "What does this… Elvis… sound like?"
"Oh man! Have you been living in a hole for like the last fifty years? He's the King!" Mattie declared.
"Excuse me, but I am the King," Thranduil corrected her.
"Yeah, right," Mattie snorted. "Anyways… follow me. You can listen on my iPod if you like." She pulled out a tiny iPod and handed it to Loki. He stared at it a moment until she pulled a pair of headphones out of her purse and plugged them into the device. "Here." She handed it to Loki.
Thranduil looked curiously at Mattie's purse. "What else do you have in that bag?"
Mattie threw her head back and laughed. "If you asked my husband, he'd tell you I got everything including the kitchen sink in here!"
Loki had placed the headphones over his ears and was listening to the music. As they reached the convention level, he paused. "What would I have to do for this competition?"
"Well, first you got to find an outfit…"
Loki grinned. "Well, that is easy. Which one would you suggest?" He pointed to the poster.
"My fav is the '68 Comeback Special. Man… that leather outfit!" Susan said dreamily as she stared at the poster.
Mattie joined her, shaking her head. "But I sill love the American Eagle Jumpsuit Elvis."
"That's a good one too," Susan replied. The two women turned back to the group. Their jaws dropped in utter astonishment as Loki had transformed into the '68 Elvis complete with the black leather suit.
"Will this do?" Loki asked, his voice sounding just like Elvis.
"OH MY GOD!" Both women screamed.
Their scream caught the attention of several of the convention attendees. Loki was surrounded by dozens of women.
"How'd he do that?" Walter asked.
"He's a wizard… more precisely, he is my wizard. I found him first," Thranduil replied. "I wonder if he can sing."
Loki looked over the heads of the women. "Ah, excuse me little ladies, I have to get my – ah – backup singers. I think we're on next," he nodded towards the convention hall, indicating he wanted them to follow him.
"Backup singers?" Heimdall asked.
"I refuse to sing. I leave that to Galadriel and her minions," Thranduil sulked.
"Gentlemen? Come along. We have a contest to win. Susan has informed me that the winner gets some money. Then Walter can show us how to do this gambling," Loki hissed.
"Oh, well… in that case," Thranduil followed the Prince into the convention room.
Heimdall and Walter looked at each other, then with a shrug they followed the other two in.
"Elvis! Elvis!" The chant was erupting from the crowd as Loki entered the room. Every eye turned toward him as he made his way to the stage. He held his arms up, waving at all the people in the room.
Loki ran up the steps and onto the tiny stage. "Thank you. Thank you very much." He grabbed the guitar sitting there on stage. A stage crewmember raced out with a wooden stool, setting it down near Loki. Loki sat on it, and playfully strummed the strings of the guitar a few minutes. Several women in the hall started screaming. Loki grinned.
Finally figuring out the guitar, he grinned at the crowd. "I think you all know this one," he started to sing 'Lawdy Miss Clawdy'. Women started to rush the stage.