Chapter 29: Blonds Have More Fun!

"Sif!" Loki snapped, furious at her comments regarding his loss at the contest. He turned abruptly and stalked away.

Sif stifled a laugh, then gasped. "Loki?"

He had disappeared.

She walked to where he had last been standing. "Loki? Seriously, I was just kidding. Where the Hel did he go now

Thranduil shrugged. "Hard to say. I do hope you have not caused my wizard to disappear, unless you are capable of magic as well?"

Sif frowned. "No, sorry. Can't help you there. Loki was our resident mischief-maker back on Asgard, if that is what you are calling magic."

"Mischief…"

"SIF!" Thor bellowed as he caught up to them. "How did you get here, and where is Loki? That was Loki I saw you with, the real Loki, right?"

"Thor, ah.. . yessss," Sif hesitated. "Ummm, why do you ask?"

"Sif? What do you mean? He is my brother. I thought he was dead and now I discover he is alive. How can that be?" Thor asked.

"Well, actually, I do not know. Thranduil found him, or was it the other way around? Did he find you?" She looked over at the elven King.

"My wizard, I found him. I do not care if he is your brother, he is my wizard. Now return him at once!" Thranduil demanded.

"Return him?" Thor looked completely befuddled. "I do not have him. He was with you back there. Where did he go?"

Sif laughed. "That is the question. We have no clue where he went to this time… and it appears he went alone," she glanced around, then gasped. "Where is Tauriel?"

Thranduil frowned. "She was standing over there I thought."

They searched the room, only to discover the she-elf was missing also. "Perhaps she is with Loki?" Sif ventured.

"But where is my brother?" Thor demanded again.

"As I said, we have no clue. He… or rather we, seem to keep being moved through the realms, although it appears that this time Loki and Tauriel left without us," Sif replied. "If we hang out here long enough, chances are we'll end up somewhere else as well."

"What do you mean?" Thor asked, clearly confused. "And how is he alive? I saw him die!"

Sif shrugged. "I wish I could answer that, but it seems someone wants to keep him with us a bit longer, so he is definitely still alive. And whoever is behind this keeps shifting our location. We've also been split up before, so I am guessing if we are just patient we will eventually be reunited with him again."

"Sif, you are making no…" Thor's voice trailed off as Sif disappeared. "Sif?" He stared at the spot she had been standing at just seconds ago. "Now where did she go?"

Thranduil sighed.

"Are you responsible for this?" Thor focused on the elf.

"Hardly. I was happily hunting orcs when I stumbled upon your brother, who agreed to be my wizard. Now, if you do not know where he is, I suggest…"

"Marcia? What the hell do you mean that Viktor has refused to show up? He agreed! He signed a contract. We need him or … or… Damn!" Kat stumbled as she exited the cab, too intent on her phone conversation to notice the curb.

"No… no I'm fine, hang on," she mumbled into her cell phone as she dug through her purse. Tossing the cabbie a bill, she nodded at him. "Keep the change."

The cabbie looked at the bill and nodded.

Kat slammed the door shut and stepped up onto the sidewalk. "Ok, now what happened?" She stood in the middle of the sidewalk listening. "No, that is not acceptable. You know if we don't get a top model for this cover, we're going to die… we'll lose our jobs at the very least if the magazine even survives. This whole issue was meant to revive this, and it hinges on the cover. Women are not going to be the magazine with some second rate dude on it. We need Viktor. Now get him on the phone and tell him to get his skinny ass over her for the photo shoot he agree to or else!"

She listened for a few seconds as people brushed past her. "Listen, get him on the phone by the time I get up there…" her voice trailed off. She stared at the two men who had just appeared in front of her. "Oh My God! Marcia, never mind about Viktor. I just found the perfect solution. Call Marcus and tell him to get his cameras ready. I'll be up in five!" She clicked the phone off and walked over to the two men. "Well, hello there. Listen boys, I need a favor. Could you spare me a little bit of your time? I'll make sure you're well paid for it."

Thor turned to stare at Kat. "Who are you?"

"And where are we?" Thranduil asked.

"New York City," Kat grinned. "Where did you think you were? Middle Earth?"

"Actually, we were in a place called Lost Wages, I believe. Just a moment ago to be precise," Thranduil replied.

"Lost wages?" Kat looked at him oddly. "Oh, you mean Las Vegas! I get it. Yeah, Lost wages… good one."

"New York?" Thor took note of their surroundings. "This does look familiar. But how did we get here?"

Thranduil shrugged. "Ask my wizard… if you can find him."

"Wizard?" Kat asked.

"My brother. What favor do you require of us?" Thor asked, curious how they could help as he did not see any signs of attack in the area.

"Oh, right! Come on in. I just need you two for about an hour… would you mind posing for a magazine cover?" Kat flashed a smile at the pair.

"Magazine cover? What is this magazine that requires covering?" Thranduil asked.

"Realm, it's fairly new so you might not have heard of it, but we have this great issue all planned out and our male model just canceled. I need a gorgeous hunk of a man to sell this issue and, well…" Kat swept a hand towards the god and king, "you two more than fit the bill. I mean, honestly… a Thor look-alike, and damn… I don't know who you are, but you look just like that dude that was in the Hobbit, the one that played Thranduil."

Thranduil blinked. "Excuse me, but I AM Thranduil."

"Yeah, what-ever…" she glanced at Thor. "And I suppose you're going to tell me you're the real Thor, right?"

Thor looked at her and nodded. "I am."

Kat laughed. "Hey, if that's what you believe, I don't care. As long as you're willing to pose for the cover of Realm, you can say you are the King of England for all I care."

"I am the King of Mirkwood, I do not know what this England is that you speak of," Thranduil quickly corrected her.

"So… do we have a deal?" She ignored Thranduil's comment, trying to close the deal.

"It will only take an hour?" Thor asked.

Grinning, Kat nodded. "An hour. And I promise you'll be well compensated."

"Do you have champagne?" Thranduil asked.

Kat thought quickly, then nodded. "No problem. Deal?"

Thor and Thranduil exchanged a quick glance. "Might as well. Who knows when my wizard will return."

"You mean my brother."

Thranduil rolled his eyes.

"This way boys." Kat grabbed Thor's arm, guiding him towards the door of the building they had been standing in front of.

"Did you catch a glimpse of them?" one lady whispered, peering down the hallway.

"Hell, yeah. HAWT!"

"If this doesn't sell magazines, I don't know what will. Man, I'm so glad I stayed late today."

"Me too. Do you think Kat will ask for any help in there?"

The door to the studio flew open. "Ladies?" Kat burst into the hallway. "Seriously! We can hear you in there. Don't you have any work to do?"

Six pairs of eyes looked at her, heads shaking. "No…"

Kat sighed. "Fine… I need another couple of bottles of champagne… and just pipe down. Got it?" She went back into the studio, leaving the door open. The six women who'd been hanging out in the hallway scurried towards the open door, peering inside.

"Okay, um.. you," Kat pointed at Thor. "Would you mind taking that top off? Leave the cape on, I like the red… and you," she pointed at Thranduil.

"I refuse to undress…"

"I wasn't about to ask that of you. You look, ah… elegant just as you are. A sense of mystery. I like it… Marcus?" Kat turned to face the photographer. "What do you think?"

"Mystery, yes. Less light if that is what you want for him… and this one…" his eyes raked over Thor's form. "I agree… shirt off. You look like you work out. Muscle will sell."

"You desire me to remove my shirt?" Thor asked.

"You got it, sweet cheeks," Kat smiled. "Keep the cape though, I like it."

Thor shrugged, removing the cape first so he could take off his shirt. Once he was topless, he turned to face Kat. "I do not understand the point of this modeling, but…"

"Oh, perfect," Kat sighed, staring at his muscular chest.

"Shelby, spritz his hair! I'd like a few droplets on it… glistening… make it look like he just stepped out of the shower…" Marcus commanded.

A short man appeared, spraying water on Thor's hair.

"Hey! Stop it!" Thor threw his hands up to try to stop the spray.

"It's just water… don't hit me," Shelby squeaked.

Thor shook his head, water flying everywhere. Marcus focused his camera on the god and the shutter clicked in rapid fire succession as he zoomed in, taking photos as fast as he could.

"Perfect… keep it up, just a few more…"

Thor's hair flew around his face as he continued to shake off the water.

A collective sigh erupted from the open doorway.

Author's Note: Don't worry, Loki is still around. I have to thank one of my readers for an idea, so this ought to be interesting to see how it turns out.