Chapter 33: Of Mice and Men… or rather Horses and Elves… and a Few Gods Thrown in for Good Measure

Kat was pounding on the cabin door as soon as the sun rose. "Come on boys! Time to rise and shine!"

Thor opened the door. "What is the hurry? I thought we had planned to go on something called a trail ride today."

"Well, that was yesterday. Last night I talked to Marci and changed it to an overnight pack trip. Marcus made it in about thirty minutes ago, and I figured this would be perfect!" Kat crowed. "I cannot believe my good luck. You guys are going to make me and the magazine famous!"

"What is a pack trip?" Loki asked, joining his brother on their front steps.

"It's the same thing as a trail ride, only longer… like overnight. We're going up there," Kat turned and pointed towards a distant mountain. "It will be fun, trust me!" She scampered away. "Be ready in an hour!"

Loki shrugged. "Can't be too bad."

"I still cannot believe you are alive," Thor replied.

"I am not complaining, even though it has been a bit odd," Loki said with a chuckle. "Now, we'd best get ready for this pack trip."

"Pack trip? What are we supposed to pack for this pack trip?" Thranduil asked.

"Ourselves?" Loki shrugged.

Following a quick breakfast, they all met up at the stables.

Whitey grinned as they approached. "Marci said how ya'all are from New York City, or some place like that, so I think I got the right mounts for each of you. Ladies?" He directed them to one side. "This little pony is for you," he pointed out a bay mare tied to the first post, indicating that it was Kat's mount.

"Cool! What's her name?" Kat asked as she moved to scramble up on the mare.

"Mavis. She's a nice little pony."

Whitey then indicated two more horses standing near the bay. "That first one is a bit slow, but given your height, she'll do all right for a city gal like you, miss… Tauriel, right? Pretty name, iffin I say so myself."

Tauriel looked skeptically at the mare. "Seriously? How old is she?"

Whitey ignored her and moved to help Sif with the last horse in line. "This is Mabel Lee."

"I do not require your assistance," Sif dismissed him.

Whitey shrugged. "As you wish." He turned and directed the others toward their mounts.

Legolas stared incredulously at the elderly horse he'd been assigned. "Can he even walk that far?"

"Hush! These are trail horses; they are trained for this. You'll be fine," Kat had ridden over towards him.

"I shall indeed be fine, I just fear this horse may die of old age before we arrive at our destination," Legolas replied.

Thranduil snorted, trying to hold back his laughter at the choice of horse given his son. He was soon the recipient of his son's laughter as an even older horse was walked out of the barn.

"This fella is for you. He won't give you any trouble at all. Goes by the name of Speedy, but don't worry, he won't take off on you."

"You have got to be kidding. Do you not know who I am?" Thranduil stared down his elegant nose at Whitey. "I shall not ride this beast. Find me a decent horse, that is if you have any."

Whitey frowned. "Now, don't you go picking on Speedy. He's a reliable mount."

Thranduil rolled his eyes, then pointed towards a corral where several horses were milling around. "What about those?"

Whitey followed his gaze. "Sorry, but those are the mustangs we just brought in and the boys are fixing to break them today. They ain't saddle broke yet."

"Why are they breaking them? They seem perfectly fit, better than these. I wouldn't offer these horses to an orc!" Thranduil shook his head.

"Ah, right. You boys are from the city and don't quite understand how we cowpokes work," Whitey tried to sooth him.

"I still do not understand your predilection for poking cows," Thranduil replied. "But I shall take that horse," he pointed to the big, black stallion in the corral that Jim had just captured with a rope.

"Sorry, but our insurance don't let us allow guests to ride the mustangs," Whitey began, but before he could finish his sentence, Thranduil had jumped over the fence into the corral and walked up to the stallion. "BOB! Get over here straight away. We gots us a problem! Jim, don't let him near that stallion!"

Legolas had dismounted and followed after his father. "Those are better horses," he muttered as he walked towards the corral.

"They're gonna get kilt!" Whitey wailed, watching as Thranduil removed the rope from the stallion's neck, then easily leapt up onto the horse's back. The stallion snaked his neck, trying to reach back and bite the elven king. Thranduil placed one hand on the horse's neck and spoke some words quietly. The horses calmed at once.

Loki looked at his brother, then the ladies. "I do believe Thranduil has the right idea."

Sif and Tauriel nodded, sliding off their horses they joined Thranduil and the others in the corral of mustangs.

"I want that one!" Tauriel claimed a chestnut mare. With a graceful leap, she was soon on the mare's back. The horse snorted once, half-reared, then settled down.

Whitey, Jim, and Bob exchanged incredulous looks as each of their guests, with the exception of Kat, had picked out a mustang and were now mounted ready to go. "Ah, um… don't ya want a saddle?" Whitey finally asked.

"Why?" Thranduil asked.

Several hours later, they stopped the horses and dismounted. "We'll set up camp here," Whitey announced. He was still amazed that this group had managed to not get thrown once and that the mustangs were acting like well-trained trail horses. He watched as Thranduil and the others dismounted gracefully, showing no signs of having ridden these horses for hours unlike most of the city slickers they got. "Harrumph, must ride them fancy show horses back home."

Bob overheard him. "I'm thinkin' the same thing. They had no trouble with any of the horses. But… "He stopped mid-sentence as he noticed what their guests were now doing. "WAIT! NO!"

He watched in dismay as Thranduil simply released his stallion, allowing him to run free. With the exception of Kat, the others followed suit. Kat simply stood their holding her mare's reins.

"What seems to be the problem?" Loki asked.

"You just let them critters go. We ain't never gonna catch them again," Whitey said with dismay. "It's a long walk home and I ain't got no way to get a vehicle anywhere near here to get ya'all back."

"That will not be a problem," Thranduil replied coolly.

"Seriously?" Whitey pointed to the dust that trailed after the horses that had just been released. "What are you gonna do, call 'here pony pony' and 'spect them to come?" He took his hat off and threw it on the ground. "Ya got as much chance of them comin' back as… I got a chance of winning a million dollars."

"You desire to win a million dollars?" Loki asked, a light sparkling in his eyes.

"Loki…" Thor said warningly.

"No, don't know what I'd do with it, but…" Whitey paused as he heard Thranduil let out a low whistle. Two minutes later, the stallion returned, followed by the other horses. Dancing up to the elven king, he tossed his head and snorted.

"You were saying?" Thranduil arched one eyebrow elegantly.

"How… how?" Whitey frowned, reached down and picked his hat up. Dusting it off, he stared at the horses. "Oh, hell. I don't care. If they don't come back tomorrow, that's your problem. Now, you folks can do some explorin' whilst we rustle up some chow."

"As you wish," Thranduil turned and waved at the others. They headed off into the forest.

"Be back in an hour!" Jim hollered after them.

An hour later, they returned to camp to discover a roaring campfire with chairs ranged around it, several small tents set up, and a table laden with plates, and pots and pans filled with food. The aroma of the meal was enticing.

"Welcome back. Ya'all will have to share a tent. I figured the gals can have that one," Whitey pointed to a larger blue one. "I put your beds in there."

"Beds?" Sif asked.

"Well, more like sleeping bags, no room for cots or none of the big stuff. We only brought three pack horses," Jim said apologetically.

"Oh, that is perfectly fine. Thanks!" Kat smiled.

Jim blushed, looking down at the dirt.

"Mr. Thranduil, you and your son may have that one." Whitey pointed out a second tent. "And since you two be brothers, you can share that one," he pointed out a third tent.

"This will be fun!" Thor exclaimed as he headed to check out the tent. "Just like when we were boys and went on adventures."

Loki groaned, remembering that he had not been overly fond of their adventures as children, preferring to remain home and read books. Then he remembered Gollum. "What about Gollum?"

"Who? Yer dog? Didn't you leave him back at the ranch?" Whitey asked.

"No, he has followed us all day," Legolas replied. "But I do not think we need to worry about shelter for him. Last I saw him he was in the creek over there searching for fish."

"Oh, that's good, cause we didn't bring enough food for that many," Whitey said. "Anyways, dinner is ready. We got ourselves some chuck wagon beef stew, barbecue beans, corn bread, and some beer to wash it down, or water for those that don't like beer."

"What? No champagne?" Thranduil looked incredulously at him.

"Sorry, it doesn't hold up well on the trail," Whitey stared at the elf. "You got some mighty fine tastes, don't you?"

Thranduil lifted one eyebrow in response.

"Come on, grab a plate folks," Kat said as she moved to the big table. She picked the top off of the largest pot. "Hmmm, this smells yummy!" Ladling out a large portion of stew on to her plate, she added some beans and a hunk of corn bread. Filling a mug with beer, she went to sit by the campfire.

The others followed her lead, and eventually everyone was seating by the fire quietly enjoying their meal.

"This meal is good!" Thor proclaimed.

"Plenty leftover for seconds. Help yerself!" Bob said.

"Indeed, I shall." He stood and returned to refill his plate. "These beans are interesting. I do not believe I have ever had them before." He spooned a huge helping of beans onto his plate.

"Is the beer to your liking, your highness?" Whitey said jokingly, not realizing that the elf was indeed a king.

"The beer is acceptable," Thranduil replied. "Champagne would have been better."

"I'll make a note for our next expedition," Whitey chuckled.

Thor rose once again and refilled his plate with beans.

"Ah, ya might not want to eat all them beans," Jim said warningly.

Thor looked at him, confused. "I thought you indicated we could have seconds."

"Yeah, but lest ya want to be a'tootin' all night, you might want to lay back on them beans."

"Tootin'?"

Bob punched Jim in the arm. "Let him be. If he wants to eat the beans, let him."

Jim shrugged. "Okay. I ain't sleepin' with him."