Chapter 35: I'm Going to Disney World!
Kat emerged from her tent. Yawning, she stretched and sighed contentedly. "Nothing like a good nights sleep under the stars." She noticed movement off in the woods and watched curiously as the elves all marched into camp. "Where were you guys? You must've gotten up awfully early."
"Actually, we did not sleep," Thranduil replied.
"These woods are wondrous," Legolas added. "I might almost consider returning some day."
"They are rather pretty. Much different than Mirkwood, that is certain," Tauriel remarked. "Loki! You should have joined us." She walked over to the fire where he was standing. Gollum was sitting nearby munching on a raw fish. She winced as she saw then and looked quickly away.
"It had to have been better than attempting to sleep in there," Loki jerked his head towards the tent he had shared with Thor.
"Is your brother awake yet?" Kat asked.
A loud snore erupted from the tent.
"Hmmm," she laughed. "I'd guess not, eh?"
"No, though how he slept through all the noise he created is beyond me," Loki laughed.
The early morning air was suddenly disrupted by the sound of an approaching helicopter.
"What the hell?" Whitey asked, walking back from the nearby stream carrying water.
They all moved towards the meadow and watched as the helicopter landed. Tony Stark jumped out, waving at them. "Found ya!"
"I did not realize we were missing," Thranduil replied coolly.
"Well, you did take off, but someone must've used one of my credit cards…" Tony looked suspiciously at Loki. "Saw a hefty charge here. How many did you bring along this time?"
Loki waved his arm around camp in answer.
"Hmmm, Pepper said there were charges for… let's see," he pulled out his cell phone and tapped on the screen. "Right… eight. I only see six here."
"Ah, yes. The seventh would be my noisome brother," Loki replied.
Tony frowned, not comprehending the remark. Seeing his confusion, Loki added, "Just step into that tent. You'll understand."
Tony walked over to the tent and poked his head inside. Gagging as he turned back to the group, he shouted, "Oh my god, THOR! What the hell were you eating?"
"Huh?" Thor's voice came from the tent.
"That place reeks. How can you sleep in there?" Tony asked, moving away from the tent.
"Precisely why I am out here," Loki replied.
Thor emerged from the tent. "What is the problem?"
"Did you not smell the odor in there?" Tony asked. "Smells like someone died in there. Is that all you?"
"It is all him," Loki confirmed.
"He ate beans," Sif added.
"Oh, man. Didn't they warn you?" Tony asked.
Thor shrugged. "I guess so."
"You guess so?" Loki stared at Thor. "Do me a favor, next time you plan on eating something noxious like that, go back to Asgard to sleep."
"Speaking of Asgard, we ought to return," Thor said.
"Uh, no." Loki replied. "I am doing quite fine here. Besides, everything thinks I'm dead, right?"
"True, but I am certain they will rejoice when they discover you still live," Thor replied brightly.
"Somehow I doubt that," Loki replied sardonically.
"But where will you go?" Thor asked.
"Please… don't ask that…you don't know where they -" Loki starting to say, then disappeared.
"Hell! Where'd he go?" Whitey shouted.
The three cowboys started running around the camp, searching the tents for the missing Loki. As they exited the last tent, they discovered everyone was gone except Tony Stark.
"They didn't take me with," Tony whined.
"Where'd they go?" Whitey asked.
Tony shrugged. "If they are anywhere on earth, I'll find out soon enough. Loki has my credit card." Then he disappeared.
"What the hell is this? What is scheduling up to? This parade starts in fifteen minutes and you're telling me Snow White called in sick? Didn't they send a replacement?" a man holding a clipboard was shouting at a woman standing next to him. He looked up to discover Loki and his companions standing in the room. "Wait? Who called for you guys? Aren't you supposed to be at Hollywood today?"
"Ummm, we have a Marvel float today, Mark. Maybe you didn't get the memo?" the lady spoke up timidly.
"Marvel float? Great. Well, you three get over to it. You must know where it is since you're here," Mark waved Loki, Thor, and Sif off.
The three exchanged a glance, uncertain where to go… or even what to do.
"Hi, I'm Cindy. The float is the sixth one in line. Just go hop up on it, smile, wave… you guys know the drill, right?" The lady had taken sympathy on them seeing their confused looks.
"Float?" Loki asked.
"Yeah, you know, float. Thing you ride on in the parade. Just stand on it and wave," Cindy showed them how to the the proper parade wave.
"Why are we in a parade?" Thor asked.
"Because we have one every day, silly. I gotta say, HR did a great job finding good people. You guys looks just like Sif, Loki, and Thor," Cindy said.
"Wait! What the hell are you doing here?" Mark shouted, pointing at Tony who had just appeared. "IF we have a Marvel float, I need Iron Man, not Tony Stark."
"But I am Tony Stark," Tony replied.
"I can see that, you need to be Iron Man, get it? Get back to costuming and get the right outfit," Mark turned away, muttering under his breath. He bumped into Kat. "Who are you? Are you my Snow replacement? Why aren't you in costume?"
"Uh, sorry. I'll go do that right away," Kat sidled over to Cindy. "Where is costuming?"
"Seriously?" Mark had overheard her question. "Are you guys just hired off the street for today? Cindy, take those two to costuming and get them back up here pronto!"
"Where are we?" Thor asked a man who was putting some finishing touches on a nearby Frozen float. Two girls dressed as Anna and Elsa were climbing up.
"Hey, boys," Elsa whistled. "Free tonight?"
"Sally, shhh!" Anna elbowed the other. "You gotta quit hitting on every male you see. Half of them are gay anyway."
"Those two aren't gay or my gaydar is off!" Elsa giggled.
"Ignore those two. Whaddaya mean, where are you? Disney World dum dum," the man interjected.
"We're in Disney World?" Thor said as he walked down towards the float they'd been sent to. "Loki, exactly how does this work? This… moving around stuff?"
Loki shrugged. "Not entirely certain, I just go with it. It's been rather fun so far, except for the orcs."
"Orcs?" Thor asked as they disappeared from sight of Mark.
Mark focused his attention on the party of elves. "Ok, what kind of joke is this? Disney doesn't own LOTR."
"Yet," Cindy muttered under her breath. "Give 'em time. They bought Star Wars… bets were on that Star Trek was next, but who knows… maybe the mouse did purchase LOTR and forgot to tell us?"
"Seriously? What am I going to do with three elves? Christmas is over, we don't have a Santa. And they definitely won't fit in with Snow and her dwarves."
"There are dwarves here?" Legolas asked.
"Ain't you ever heard of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?" Cindy asked. "Man, HR is really hiring the handicapped!"
Thranduil looked down his nose at her. "Excuse me, I do believe you owe me an apology."
"Sorry, just an expression. Say, Mark. Can't we put them on the guest float? Pretend they are guests of the day?" Cindy asked.
"Fine, whatever works. Oh, crap! What is that?" He was pointing at Gollum.
"That is a question oft asked of the creature. He is known as Smeagol, or Gollum. Whichever you prefer," Legolas answered.
"I… what the hell do I do with it?"
"Him," Tauriel corrected.
"I don't care if it is a he-she, we just have to get this parade out on time!" Mark shouted.
"Maybe the Frozen float? He does kinda look like the trolls," Cindy suggested.
"Fine!" Mark snapped.
Author's Note: Ok, I've been challenged to see if I can make this into 100 chapters. If you have an insane idea where to drop Loki and Thranduil, send me a pm and I'll see if I can work it in!